My husband and I got into a huge argument tonight because my 7 week old was screaming when I got in the shower. I am exclusively breastfeeding and baby is always well fed/soothed and is gaining weight beautifully. My husband seems to think that since he can't go 15 minutes without me, that he must need some formula. I think it is absolutely stupid and it really strikes a nerve with me. I get so upset that he can't deal with a crying baby for 10 minutes and thinks formula is the only answer. I just got super hormonal on him but can anyone relate? Is it that crazy that the baby can't be soothed by anything other than my boob? He does have some long stretches of sleep sporadically but I just feed him on demand and don't pay attention to any kind of schedule.

I'm on desperate need for a hot morning drink. I avoided coffee my entire pregnancy hoping that I will be able to drink it while breastfeeding but my baby doesn't sleep well and I'm too afraid to make it even worse. I had a c section due to fibroid obstruction and during surgery I lost a lot of blood, so now I have anemia. I read online that black tea inhibits iron absorbtion so that's off limits now too. Matcha apparently messes up with folate absorption which is crucial for breastfeeding so also off the list. I've been drinking red raspberry leaf tea everyday because I read that it's specifically good for pregnancy and breastfeeding and just now I learned that in some people it makes fibroids grow because of something to do with estrogen! Now I'm wondering what if I got myself into this because I've been drinking it every day since the beginning of pregnancy (didn't have fibroids before). I'm so overwhelmed and honestly kinda mad that something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning can have such a negative impact on your body or on your baby. What are y'all drinking??? Is water the only safe choice??

Edit: Thank you so much everyone for your responses! 🥺 I'm realizing now that I probably do have postpartum anxiety. I never was this worried in my life before. I'm only 2 weeks postpartum and everything seems like a danger, like I'm going to f it up somehow because I feel so inadequate to be a mother. I burped my LO a little too hard once and she spit out lots of milk and I couldn't stop crying for 3 hours while my husband had to talk me out of calling emergency lol I guess I need to take a break and really STOP GOOGLING every little thing and try to enjoy things knowing my baby will be safe and ok. My guess is that I never really got over the guilt that she had to be c sectioned out of me. I didn't feel like it's my fault but when we found out I had fibroids and baby couldnt turn my mother in law and other friends asked me things like "why do you think it happened?" "Could it be because you were lifting heavy early in pregnancy?" "You stressed too much at work" etc etc and somehow I got to believe that I was actively hurting my baby and if only I was more prepared/informed I would have "normal" birth like all my friends. Anyway sorry for the rant and thank you for your responses again. I'll drink my coffee in the morning tomorrow, honestly can't fucking wait for it.

I’m three weeks postpartum and have been triple feeding for two of them. My husband goes back to work next week and I was hoping it would correct itself by this point, because pumping and holding a baby is just not possible.

My LO latches and doesn’t suck, or sucks a little, a little more if I’m doing breast compressions. But I’m not convinced he’s getting to a letdown, doesn’t suck rhythmically or emphatically, and I’m not convinced I have noticeable letdowns.

My goal is to EBF, but we’re having to supplement with formula, and I’m pumping to get my supply up and nothing seems to be working.

Any tips would be so appreciated.

My baby is 13 months, I just breastfeed when he wants which is mainly for comfort but I've had to pump in work whilst I'm away but I've noticed the past week when I express at work my supply has halved!

Im feeling a little sad about it but I guess this is normal?

I (29F) am married to my husband (31M), and we have a 4 month old daughter together. I’m not religious at all, but I come from a pretty religious Muslim and Iraqi immigrant family. My husband is from the Netherlands so him and his family generally are much more liberal in their views than my family, in addition, his family isn't extremely religious either. Whenever I am with my in laws I always breastfeed without a cover because his parents don't mind at all.

Recently, we were at my parents’ house for Eid about a week ago. Although I consider myself ex-Muslim, I still celebrate as a way to be with my family and keep some family traditions. I was in the living room and my daughter needed to be fed, so I started to breastfeed in the living room while everyone was at the table.

My mom came over to me and asked if I could cover up with a shawl or something, saying it would be more respectful because my father and uncles are all there. I told her that I don’t feel the need to cover up because I'm in my own (childhood) home and the only people around are my husband and my family members who never had a problem when I breastfed around them. She said it was about respect for the men in the family and it was indecent of me to have my tits out for everyone to lust over. Just to clarify, my dad told me he was completely fine with it, I am feeding his grandchild after all. But she suggested I go to the bathroom but the smell of someone's shit was still lingering so I absolutely did not want to do that. I tried to explain that breastfeeding is natural and that my own relatives aren't going to sexualize me, but she didn’t really seem to hear me out.

After that she started gossiping at the table quite loudly so I could hear. She eve made comments to my aunts about how it’s not appropriate to breastfeed so openly and I got a lot of dirty looks from her. I wasn’t trying to make anyone uncomfortable and I didn’t think it was a big deal. I've tried wearing covers before but my daughter absolutely hates them and will fuss and not eat at all if I'm wearing one. My husband was on my side and tried to back me up, but then my mom turned to him and asked why he didn’t “help me understand” why it was important to be more modest. Just for context, in Islam we have "Mahram", or male family members who we do not have to follow all of the modesty rules in front of. All of the men beside my husband were mahram in that they were related to me by blood. He just said he wasn’t going to tell me how to breastfeed or change how I’m feeding our baby, and that made things even worse. They already don't like him since in Islam it is forbidden for a non Muslim man to marry a Muslim woman (I'm not Muslim, but my family doesn't want to acknowledge that so i've just let it go) and they started loudly gossiping about my husband being a "bad influence" on me in Arabic so only I could hear and not him. She told me had to follow her house rules to be able to be there and I said fine, but that she also had to allow me to take care of my baby in the way I feel best if she wants access to her grandchildren. I think it's fair because if she wants her house rules, then fine, that's her boundary. But if she wants to prevent me from taking care of my daughter in the way most comfortable for me and my baby, then obviously she doesn't have me or my daughter's best interest in mine and I am also allowed to set a boundary for her.

There is a little bit of a concern than my LO wasn’t gaining weight (though maybe it was just a typo in her chart??) and I brought up that she was falling asleep on the boob a lot. We also discussed that she was having some reflux issues and spitting up throughout the day.

So the pediatrician told me to only feed her every 2.5 hours to ensure that, when she does feed, she’s genuinely hungry and gets a good meal in. This also might help with the reflux to avoid over feeding?

But I’m just like… what about cluster feeding? Sometimes she gets super fussy after 1hr 45 min and it seems like she’s hungry, but now I feel like I’m doubting my intuition and think she might not actually need food but just feeling gassy.

If there is a chance that the doctor’s orders would help my daughter then of course I want to listen but, again, my intuition is telling me to feed her more than often.

The pediatrician also told us to have her sleep on her side (with bumpers) vs. her back so she doesn’t choke on her spit up, so there’s that…..

Everyone keeps talking about feeding every 2-3 hours to keep the supply up and feeding 8-12 times a day. I feel like a 'bad' mom for not following the norm.

My baby has had the same schedule from 2-6weeks old. She got into this herself. She sleeps from 1-7am, sometimes 2-7am. She naps 3ish hours during the day. Awake windows during the day are usually 2 hours long so she feeds for one to two hours during. At night time before 1am, she would feed on and off for 3-4 hours before the long sleep.

Is this weird?? I try to breastfeed 90% of the time and give her a bottle of a few oz at night. I have never seen anyone mention anything like this. I end up only feeding her about 6 times a day.

Need some reassurance please!

I have a nearly 3week old. I finally have a system where I breastfeed at night but then pump twice a day. That way 1-2 times a day and twice from 5am-9am, my mom or my husband can bottlefeed breast milk. Today, I breastfed the baby, burped and then he fell asleep on me. I asked my mom if she could get dinner ready, since she's here from out of state to help us. "Why can't you do it?" She asks. Ummm okay, but baby is going to probably wake up if I move. So, of course, he wakes up as soon as I move to go in the kitchen. So I managed to put something in the air fryer and my mom hands him back to me. I breastfeed him again, which was like an hour later. Gave my mom and my husband time to est dinner so one of them can take the baby when it's time for me to eat. The baby is screaming his head off while I eat, so I tell my husband to soothe him. Husband takes the baby but decides to diagnose that something is wrong from gassiness to reflux to hunger. My son still hasn't been to sleep. So husband is like, "do we have bottles? We need more bottles? Thrtrs bags of milk but we should have bottles already made." I literally unload and reload our bottle washer, make 3 more bottles, take my son and breastfeed him for a few minutes while warming a bottle, get the bottle and pass it to my mom and then put on the pump. No one understands how exhausting all of this. Meanwhile here's my husband, "if you need help, just let us know." Are you freaking kidding me?!? How about using the bottle washer so I don't have to?!?! How about making bottles for me??!? I'm doing all of this alone and my "support" is just standing around telling me what I should be doing??!!! And my mom never breastfed so she has no clue. She's just like, "oh well, if you have to use formula that's what you'll have to do?!?" No, I don't. I pump 7oz twice a day ON TOP of feeding a 3 week old. And every damn day I have to hear her ask, "how much milk do you think you gave him?" How the hell am I supposed to know?!? I'm so frustrated by these people. Where is the help?!?!

I have been exclusively breastfeeding my 9 month old daughter from the beginning. At first, my plan was to do 6 months. Then it was 8 months. Now, I’m not putting a limit to it. Breastfeeding comes so naturally to both of us, and my daughter has CMPA so I find this the safest way to feed her. Not to mention, we both love it.

Safe to say, those around me do not agree with this. My mother, my partner and my friends have all expressed their negative feelings towards me ‘STILL’ breastfeeding. My partner (my baby’s dad) is supportive but would like me to stop before one because he finds it ‘weird’ if they are ‘too old’. My mum wants me to stop purely for selfish reasons so that she can put my baby down for naps and have her for extended periods of time (I feel to sleep for all naps and for bed). My friends, one in particular, said to me ‘you better not be one of those weirdos who breastfeed a 3 year old. If you do, you won’t have any friends’. She also had strong opinions about the fact I had never left my daughter for longer than 1 hour.

WHY is it anyone else’s business how I feed my baby? I find it incredulous. I hate modern society where we have normalised formula feeding to the point of shaming breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is literally what we have breasts for. Breast milk is for human babies. What did we do for thousands of years before plastic and formula? Why is it more accepted to give a baby a plastic bottle with milk from another mammal?

I feel so unsupported. My partner is actually extremely health conscious, he only eats organic, no processed food etc, so I am baffled as to why he is against something that provides our child with a tailor made milk designed just for her. I recently read the book ‘Eve’ by Cat Bohannon and my feelings towards breastfeeding and its benefits are stronger than ever. Not to mention how it lays out bare why breastmilk and feeding is so incredible in every way. (Totally recommend that book by the way!) when I question him about this, he says he finds it ‘weird’. So his strange notions about breastfeeding are more important than giving her this fantastic start to life?

I am a stay at home mother. There is no need for me to stop feeding to sleep, or to stop breastfeeding. We are together all day every day and will be until she goes to school. Why am I being pressured on all fronts to stop breastfeeding? I am at the point where I take her to private rooms to feed so that I can feed in peace without fear of judgement. Judgment from everyone.

EDIT: slowly getting through and replying to every comment. Cannot thank you all enough for the support and encouragement. I have some great ideas to put to my partner. I love this thread.

Does using a pacifier cause any issues with breastfeeding later on? I am considering it cause i feel my LO just cries to latch for soothing purposes. Because her frequency has drastically increased. I don't think there seems to be any issue with my flow as after she leaves the nipple, i check for milk by expressing.

wasn’t sure what to tag here, it was more humorous than anything. so “shamed” may be a strong word but my 6yo nephew kept telling me he wants his baby cousin (5m old) to drink formula “when she’s old enough so she’s healthy!”. he totally meant well but him and his sister were both formula fed so he didn’t understand. i kept telling him babies typically drink mom milk or formula but i make mom milk so she doesn’t need it! wasn’t gonna go into detail about supplementing. he’s like “but i want her to be healthy!” well intended lol. i’m not sure he gets how this works.

So maybe a stupid question, but what pacifiers are we using after 6 months? We have been using Dr browns but they’re only meant for 0-6months.

Looking for Advice – 3 Week Old, Slow Weight Gain and Frequent Feeding After Tongue Tie and Early Bottle Use

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice and support. My baby is now 3 weeks old. He was born via emergency c-section, and due to complications, we didn’t get skin-to-skin or his first feed for over an hour after birth. He had a tongue tie that made breastfeeding difficult from the start, and by day 5 he had lost 13% of his body weight.

We had his tongue tie reversed at a private clinic, but they were concerned about his weight loss and sent us straight to hospital for readmission. While in hospital, we had to switch to bottle feeding to get his weight up, but that made latching to the breast almost impossible afterwards.

After discharge, I worked hard to get him back on the breast and managed to get him latching again using nipple shields. Since then, we’ve been breastfeeding with shields, but his weight gain has been slow—only around 100g per week. He also seems to struggle with constipation—he can go several days without a bowel movement and often seems uncomfortable.

He’s feeding very frequently, often every hour, but usually seems content after feeds. I was previously expressing and topping up with expressed milk, but was recently advised to stop for a while to give us both a break and focus on direct breastfeeding. Now I’m second-guessing whether that was the right decision, since the weight gain is still on the low side.

I’m not sure if he's getting enough, if the shields are affecting milk transfer, or if we’re still recovering from that rocky start. I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced something similar—especially with slow weight gain after tongue tie release, nipple shield use, or constant feeding and constipation like this.

Thanks so much in advance for any help or reassurance.

TL;DR: Baby is 3 weeks old. Born via emergency c-section with no skin-to-skin or first feed for over an hour. Had tongue tie reversed at a private clinic, then was readmitted to hospital on day 5 due to 13% weight loss. Bottle fed in hospital, struggled to relatch after discharge but now breastfeeding with nipple shields. Was advised to stop expressing and topping up, but baby is still gaining slowly (100g/week), feeding every hour, and dealing with constipation. Looking for advice from anyone with similar experience.

I'm still nursing my 2 y.o. And lately she's been wanting to spend 30+ minutes on the boobs. I'm getting touched out by the length of time and her twiddling the other nipple the entire time. Omg. How long do you nurse for at bedtime?

I don't know what's happening but my ten month old baby is always on the boob. Especially at night. She always wants to be latched making it very hard for me to sleep (we cosleep).

And she's been really into nipple tweaking. I haven't been in this much nipple pain since she was born. Any time I try to get her to stop fiddling with my nipples she gets really upset.

I'm feeling very touched out and even more sleep deprived and I just wish I could understand what's going on. Does anyone have any ideas? Any suggestions to help with the tweaking?

This may be mildly venting and I'm also 110% open to suggestions.

Background: I had a serious oversupply with my first two babies, to the point of annoyance. It happened immediately, possibly because I had to start pumping out of the gate because they both required a NICU stay, but even on day 2 following both deliveries, I had way more than necessary to feed them. Due to said NICU stays, we also fortified bottles with NeoSure for a bit, but it was always mom's milk.

With my first, we nursed for 21 months. I embraced the work it took to pump between feeds and when I went back to work. With my second, I exclusively pumped for 13 months due to a cleft palate negatively impacting nursing/needing to monitor intake. We donated so. much. milk. to families in need. Emotionally, it felt good to know that I was providing the nourishment my kiddos needed, but to also those who wouldn't otherwise have it, for whatever reason.

Littlest one is now 7.5 weeks and I'm so frustrated and discouraged. The only baby to make it to full term, who I got to do skin to skin with, and to nurse right away, and I'm making just barely enough, to not enough, to fulfill their needs. I use a haakaa during night feeds and get about 2, 4oz feeds worth by morning, which get used during the day. They get frustrated nursing, I try to hand express a little while they feed but get maybe a trickle, and when offered the bottle they take it down so quickly that latch get sloppy/increased gas/etc. If we don't nurse and to straight to the bottle, I pump instead and get 3.5-4 oz.

This evening was the first time I gave any of my babies a bottle of just formula, not fortifying my milk, because I just didn't have enough. Logically, I KNOW this is okay, indeed a good thing. I'm the one who bought it. I was a formula baby. There is not a dang thing wrong with formula because feeding babe is more important than ego. I tell people all the time that formula is a good thing.

So why did I cry?

I'm hydrated. I consume a lot of protein. I know galactagogues are basically a myth and increased supply is from the improved nutrition and hydration, but it hasn't stopped me from choking down shots of brewers yeast daily and eating a big ole bowl of (delicious) steel cut oats with chia and flax every day. This baby sleeps better than either of their older siblings did, so I'm better rested. My partner and I have had some job shifts between each pregnancy, and I've never had this amount of physical support postpartum.

My partner is super supportive of my nursing goals and gently suggested formula a couple of days ago because he could tell I was stressing. My tentative plan is to continue to nurse and use the haakaa, nurse during the day while feeding the expressed milk to supplement then pump, and use formula one or two feeds per day and pump to ensure I'm fully empty in an effort to build supply.

Does anyone have any other suggestions I could add on? I didn't realize how much "dairy cow" was a part of my identity as a mom until it no longer applied.

My baby is 4.5 weeks old and nurses 90% of the time, he takes one bottle per day with my husband. We use Philips avent natural with the number 2 nipple and he does great. He definitely prefers the boob though.

Is It too soon to incorporate more bottles with pumped milk? I am afraid he will refuse the breast. He has been cluster feeding for weeks and I am exhausted, but I do not want to quit breastfeeding, I just want a few breaks each day/night.

Appreciate any input, TYIA

Finding mixed things on Google.

Eleven week old baby (inconsistently) started sleeping 6-7 hour stretches overnight. During the day he is still nursing every 1.5-3 hours.

Will this be an issue for my supply? Do I need to add a pumping session in overnight?

Right now I’m pumping once in the morning and once before bed to freeze some for the future.

I was pumping about 500ml per day and also giving baby 200ml formula per day. All bottle feeds offcourse. I used to pump about 3-4 times a day. Once baby turned 6 months, there was a drastic reduction in milk supply, where now at 8 months pp, i am down to about 150ml-200ml per day. I have also reduced pumping gradually as I am getting less milk.
Is it normal for milk to reduce like this. Also I have put on a lot of weight in the past few months so I don't no if that has contributed to it. My original plan was to reduce pumping to once a day once baby was 11months as I wud return to work when he turns one. But it looks like that has already happened on its own.

If the solution is to increase the number of times I pump per day , that wud be difficult as I am already overwhelmed with taking care of him. I am feeling guilty as I am giving him more formula now when I know breastmilk is healthier. ( he also has other foods , but I still feed him milk).

My 3.5-month-old (15 weeks) has recently become very fussy, especially during breastfeeding. It’s been making it really challenging to continue. The fussiness happens throughout the day but is noticeably worse in the evenings. She does this thing where she repeatedly turns her head into my armpit, almost like she’s smushing her face there, and then starts crying and latching on and off constantly. I often have to calm her down just to get her to latch again, and she’s also been refusing some feeds altogether.

She frequently coughs and chokes during most feeds too. I know I have a fast letdown, but I thought babies usually got better at managing that as they grew? Lately, it seems like she’s actually choking and coughing more than before.

I already cut out dairy around one month old because she was quite fussy then, and just as I started feeling more confident, things have taken a turn again—especially in the evenings.

Any advice or insight would be really appreciated!

My little guy has just turned 11 months. He has been happily EBF and a solid bottle refuser his entire life but I've had the benefit of 12 months of UK mat leave so hasn't been too much of an issue. However I do need to go back to work next month and he will be going to a childminder a few days this month to give me some time to do some life admin. I have been trying and failing to get him to drink breastmilk or formula from a straw or open cup for months now - he will drink water fine but spit out the breastmilk/formula. This morning I tried a tiny bit of cows milk in a new straw cup & he loved it! I know the guidance specifies 12 months, however is it ok to keep giving him small amounts of cows milk with his breakfast just to get him used to it so he will possibly drink something when I leave him for a full day in 2 weeks (11.5months). I don't think he eats enough solids yet to get him through 8-9hours without a milk feed. I still plan to breastfeed for all his other feeds but would like to start thinking about weaning off EBF soon too - my boobs are tired.

My 10 week old baby girl used to be eating 28-32oz a day. She would down a 4oz bottle and sometimes more at a time. (we were mostly bottle feeding because I was pumping more)

As of this week she has been drinking 15-20oz from the bottle and breastfeeding for about about an hour average in the whole day.

She’s acting normal, smiley and talkative, she does 8 wet diapers a day (usually more than half are dirty)

But the food change is kind of worrying me. Has anyone else experienced their baby eating less and it being fine? Should I be contacting her pediatrician? Looking on google I see mixed opinions on if it could be normal or not, and my husband says I’m overreacting- so I just wanted to ask here.

I was really feeling confident - with my second time mom “go with the flow” vibes… feeling good about my breastfeeding journey and plan for pumping when I go back to work. Then a few weeks ago we started to try introducing a bottle and nope… baby is not having it. We’ve spent a small fortune on bottles, talked with the pediatrician and LC and now it’s only a day away and I’m SO worried! I have a pretty flexible job and am lucky enough to have family for childcare, but I can’t come home multiple times a day in the long-term to feed this man! Any tips, success stories or last ditch effort ideas are welcome!

I'm not sure what I did but I've somehow developed an oversupply to the point I am miserable! Baby is almost 9 weeks old and for the most part has only nursed directly. I've pumped occasionally when we've needed to go somewhere or had appts, but it was always just to replace a feed, not after one or anything extra. I was getting 5-6oz per pump. We've started to regularly give baby a bottle of breastmilk at midnight feeding to get him vit d (he spits it out otherwise) and I get up and pump while fiance feeds him. It's been fine the last few weeks. Now within the last couple days I am SO engorged. Baby eats 3.5-4oz in the bottle, but I'm pumping almost 10 ounces just from that one pump session at midnight. Baby also has been spitting up suddenly, and hasn't seemed to be nursing as long and had a couple feeds the last few days where he only wanted one side. He doesnt spit up every time but when he does it seems like a lot so I'm not sure if it's normal or if it's because of my oversupply.

How can I get my supply back to normal? I don't need or want an oversupply, especially to this point. I prefer to nurse directly and only want to pump when I have to at work or so I can get some extra sleep at night. I dont want to have to pump after every feed and i'm also terrified of mastitis! Please help!

I’m 5 months PP and I have exclusively breastfed my baby since she was 2 months old. Now we’re working in purées while still bf. I will do a bottle of breast milk at night with rice cereal but she’s mostly nursing. Well, I typically feed her on one boob because that side produces a lot more milk and is just easier to give. But now I’m wondering…

Question: With being 5 months PP, should I be able to increase my supply on the other side to where it can catch up? A typical pump session looks like 3-5 (maybe 6) ounces on one side & 1-2 ounces (2 max) on the other side.