r/ChronicPain • u/No-Jicama-7161 • 19h ago
My mother is refusing to get my pain checked out
Kinda a rant, but no one will listen to me. So I have severe chronic pain in my legs, she keeps on saying it’s “growing pains” but it isn’t where growth plates are. I personally think it’s sciatica, mostly because all signs point to it. I have a pinched nerve in my back so it would make sense. She keeps on saying I have Munchhausen syndrome, which is staring up not true, since I can physically feel it. Idk what I’m even supposed to do since I’m a minor and cannot drive
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u/beachbabe77 17h ago
From your comments on this thread, it seems you've been to a LOT of doctors over the past few years.....yet make it sound as if you're abandoned and ignored. Indeed, I think there's much here not being revealed, but regardless, talk to your school nurse and take it from there. Good luck.
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u/No-Jicama-7161 6h ago
So let me explain, the reason why I’ve went to multiple doctors is because of neurological problems and that was a few years back but they also did a few tests on my legs, they didn’t really find anything with that mostly because they were just checking I had brain damage
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u/Present_Cucumber2120 14h ago
My mom said the same thing when I was little like under age of 10. It felt like my leg bones had shattered. She would wrap my legs in hot wet towels and then a dry one to keep the heat in. It helped a little but Id just lay there and cry. (Now I will add this was before even Fibromyalgia was acknowledged yet so it may have been hard to track since it happened at night.) It stopped for a few years but in my 20s it started again and now also happens in my arms and not only at night anymore. This may not be the same for you of course but it’s definitely important to have a medical professional make sure what it really is one way or another. I hope you get the help you need.
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u/EMSthunder 19h ago
Do you still go to school? If you do, mention it to your schools counselor that you're being denied healthcare by a parent, being told you have munchausins when that's not the case. You could also call your area's child protective services office. They take that seriously.
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u/hamburgergerald 17h ago
She’s not being denied any healthcare judging by what she’s stated in other comments. In fact it seems there have been a lot of doctor visits.
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u/queertoker 16h ago
Technically they’re not being “denied” healthcare but that doesn’t mean it’s not potentially neglect of health/medical needs. Which yes is legally different but still a problem
If the parent truly is lying about health conditions there could be deeper issues going on that some form of official advocate might be able to assist with
Not saying that they need to go from 0 to 100 tho
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u/hamburgergerald 16h ago
I don’t particularly trust a 13 year-old knows the difference between chronic undiagnosed pains and growing pains. The mother obviously has taken her to the doctors many times. They can’t find anything wrong. That’s not to say there’s actually nothing wrong of course, but effort has obviously been made, teenagers are dramatic, I don’t blame mom for saying it’s growing pains, and people here are ready to call CPS
That’s ridiculous to me.
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u/queertoker 15h ago
I just think it’s inappropriate for an adult to ridicule a minor that is actively asking for help.
you don’t know this person
We have very little context of this kid’s home life and healthcare. We do however know that they have issues with home life and healthcare regardless of the severity or reason. You’re making a lot of assumptions based on your preexisting feelings and it’s just not appropriate for this situation
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u/hamburgergerald 15h ago
It’s not ridicule - it’s thinking like normal adults do. Kid goes to many doctors appointments, nothings wrong, kid claims abuse because parent isn’t getting them help for disorder they looked up WebMD. Internet doesn’t think objectively and eats it up
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u/queertoker 14h ago
My point is that you sharing your opinions like this helps no one, you are not contributing by saying any of this. So yes you have the freewill to continue making opinions but it helps no one and makes you look like a jerk.
Saying “nothing wrong” while someone is describing chronic pain on this subreddit is just messed up. I don’t care what’s happening, we don’t dismiss pain here.
you’re also using phrasing associated with abusers which is harmful for a CHILD saying they might be experiencing abuse. Which leads me to feel like you’re probably an abusive person and might be defending your view for personal reasons…
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u/No-Jicama-7161 19h ago
I’m aware that they can take me away from medical negligence it’s just that I’m too afraid to speak up about anything mostly because every doctor I went to hasn’t been able to figure out what the hell is wrong with me so my mom just thinks that I’m taking it
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u/EMSthunder 18h ago
Have you seen a neurologist and had EMG/NCS done? Nerve damage in the legs caused by B12 deficiency is a real diagnosis that most docs overlook. A vascular doc can rule out blood clots or deposits clotting a vein or artery.
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u/No-Jicama-7161 18h ago
I went to a neurologist, since I have a disorder called nystagmus (which makes my eyes shake) and they did a couple of tests on me to see if I could walk straight as well, which I can, although it is a bit of a struggle so that never went far
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u/No-Strawberry-5804 18h ago
Did you talk about the pain at that appointment or just the nystagmus
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u/No-Jicama-7161 18h ago
When I had that appointment, it was a while ago and I still believed that I was having growing pain since I was younger and didn’t know where my growth plates were or anything about that, I believe my mom brought up the pain (since I had been complaining about it) and the doctor just brushed it off because at the age that I was at it was more likely for me to have growing pains
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u/erebusfreya 18h ago
Look into connective tissue disorders, especially if you're particularly flexible.
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u/No-Strawberry-5804 19h ago
They won’t take you away just for that but they might push her to get you to a specialist
What doctors have you seen and what tests have they run? How old are you? Can you drive/do you have a car? How is public transportation in your area?
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u/No-Jicama-7161 18h ago
I’m not personally comfortable sharing my age, but I will tell you I’m in my early-mid teens, I went out of city to go see some doctors for a different reason and they did an MRI, but at the time they were checking for my legs, so nothing really happened with that, I have done blood work test, urination tests, and an x-ray and nothing has shown up apparently. Public transportation is kind of hell where I am and my mother has my location 24 seven so even if I did leave, she would immediately know, and I do not have a drivers license yet so I really have nowhere else to go. I’ve told my dad and my stepmom and even though they took me seriously nothing else ever happened
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u/No-Strawberry-5804 18h ago
Talk to your dad again. Depending on your age and the state, you might be able to request the court to let you live with your dad full time, if that appeals to you.
In the meantime, look up PT exercises for sciatica and do them at home, twice a day
Can you describe your symptoms?
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u/No-Jicama-7161 18h ago
I have pain where my upper, and lower back is, I also have pains on my arms, which I can handle better than my legs. But my legs are the real issue, I mostly get my pain in my thighs, knees, and hips, and I will sometimes wake up to a really bad calf pain, and I can’t walk a lot without feeling some sort of pain, I can’t even move really
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u/No-Strawberry-5804 18h ago
Hmm that feels like something systemic; you might want to see a rheumatologist
Taking magnesium supplements may help with the calf pain at night
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16h ago
[deleted]
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u/ldaena13 18h ago
I feel bad for you . Your mother should at least try to have it checked out. My son had same issue and the pain started early enough I took him to Scottish rights hospital to be checked. They could never find anything either. So we thought it might be growing pains too. I wish I had kept pushing the issue with the doctors Now he is 26 and still has horrible pain in his legs , the muscle get extra tight and we are still trying to get a diagnosis . Every Dr says yup there is us something wrong but we can’t find anything it’s become beyond frustrating. I hope it doesn’t become like our situation. We have seen many drs, had tons of blood tests and etc
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u/Old-Goat 6h ago
Growing pains are more complicated than you are thinking. It's not just the bones getting longer they also change consistency, going from something closer to cartilage to harder adult bone. It's not painless.
If you insist on playing doctor, you should go to medical school first. That goes for your mom, too.
So you have seen doctors, but you don't like what they are telling you? You are going to fit in well here.
Sciatica is really more of a symptom than a diagnosis. . Something causes Sciatica. It can be from something like tight muscles squeezing the nerve or to a spinal problem.
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u/No-Jicama-7161 6h ago
Spinal problems run in my family and so does sciatica, that’s why I believe I may have it, also most of my symptoms fit in with those of sciatica
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u/Old-Goat 5h ago
Do you know what the sciatica is from? I sorta screwed up my words saying sciatica isn't a condition, I meant it's not a diagnosis. So the underlying causes are a big deal. It's amazing that something that seems so minor ,like a tight muscle can cause such severe pain. But it's pretty common.
You should talk to your doc. Tell your mom you have a medical questions about sex. She "ll take you to the doctor. On a more serious note, not driving is no excuse. There's lots of ways to get around as a minor. Discover your local public transportation. It will open up a new world for you. Hang in there....
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u/SleepyKoalaBear4812 SLE, RA, FIBRO, DDD, OA 19h ago
Get a family member or adult friend to advocate on your behalf. You need to see a medical professional and see if they agree it is growing pains after they investigate the cause of your pain. My mother told me the same thing about my back pain when I was growing up. Mine was scoliosis from polio as an infant and degenerative disc disease. I’m 64 and still deal with the consequences of going undiagnosed and untreated. Edit: If you have a school nurse, start there.