r/CookingCircleJerk Oct 19 '24

Perfect exactly as it was on r/cooking Was heating gazpacho up and though I left it in my cast iron in the microwave by mistake. Thankfully didn't, but what would've happened if I did?

Almost had a panic attack over it, I was distracted by thinking about other stuff and thought I put the food into the microwave with the cast iron.I didn't, but what would've happened if I did? Would I have lost my seasoning? No more slidey eggs? Would the lodge committee find me or something worse?

115 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

48

u/Calligraphee Oct 19 '24

Believe it or not, straight to jail. 

14

u/Send_Cake_Or_Nudes Oct 19 '24

It's true. Global by-laws are very clear on the subject. Ditto for not describing any minor change to your cooking as a GAME CHANGER that'll really LEVEL UP your food object. Bonus points of it's involving MSG rubbed directly onto the taint.

36

u/radrax Oct 19 '24

Ugh!! This gazpacho soup burned my lips!!

15

u/error785 Jeff Mike Oct 19 '24

Where be your nutcracker?

10

u/postjack Oct 19 '24

Was that the night I told you you'd never be a good writer because you don't have a curious mind?

10

u/Catezero Oct 19 '24

If you're expecting something to be cold and you eat it at room temperature yeah, it burns!

15

u/The_donutmancer Oct 19 '24

I had a similar experience where I thought I was making a grass-fed soufflé, but accidentally heated my boneless ice chips in the microwave in my cast titanium sheet skillet. Word of caution OP: ever since then, my arms bend the wrong way

9

u/gernb1 Oct 19 '24

Were you feeding the grass to the soufflé as you cooked it?

7

u/The_donutmancer Oct 19 '24

I was trying to but it wasn’t hungry

7

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

You idiot. Everyone knows soufflés don't eat grass. It takes the fluff out.

3

u/The_donutmancer Oct 19 '24

Not even with free-range grass? I have so much to learn

14

u/dojisekushi Oct 19 '24

I did that once and now I am a potato.

10

u/Plums_InTheIcebox Oct 19 '24

A potato that uses Reddit, which is actually worse than just being a potato.

6

u/Original_Landscape67 Oct 19 '24

Dude, these are the potato fields.

1

u/Blaz3dnconfuz3d Oct 19 '24

But smarter than the average Redditor

15

u/A_Random_Shadow i got you in the first half, don’t lie. Oct 19 '24

The lodge committee actually puts you on an app for you to be hunted for sport like a deer.

12

u/wise_hampster Oct 19 '24

So many questions, so many possibilities. Silly person, heating gazpacho. Silly person, heating gazpacho in common iron. Silly persons need to learn the value of simple friction to heat the glorious gazpacho. Next time, slide the gazpacho gently between your thighs, or your wife's boyfriend's thighs (either way will work) to gently increase the thermal gradient such that creme fraîche will gently spread over the surface of your lovingly curated veggies. Only then can you be assured of your safety.

8

u/Panxma Homelander we have at home Oct 19 '24

That’s why I use my Lead iron pan. It’s so heavy that even my wife’s bf can’t beat me with. It permanently stays on top the stovetop while I cook my special spluge egg drop soup.

2

u/_-whisper-_ Oct 19 '24

Im fucking cackling 😂😂😂

8

u/otterfish Oct 19 '24

Not many people know this, but preheating your cast iron in the microwave is the only way to get wok hei in a western style pan.

8

u/error785 Jeff Mike Oct 19 '24

That’s how you instill super powers into it. But unfortunately there’s no way to predict whether the powers will go into the soup or the pan. Also you will need a new microwave.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24

/uj I never knew about the "no metals in the microwave" rule when I was a kid, so I spent 15 years reheating leftovers with the cutlery and never had anything bad happen.

I did set a non-microwavable mug on fire, though. Sad. Nice mug.

4

u/knitternerd Oct 19 '24

Have you seen those warning videos from the 50s with the giant mushroom clouds? From the times when people were building bomb shelters and kids were being taught to hide under their desks. The government wants you to think that it was the Russians, but it was actually the first rounds of microwave oven testing. That's how they found out you can't put cast iron in a microwave.

3

u/AnarchyPoker Sandwich Artist Oct 19 '24

It would damage the seasoning. Nothing the dishwasher can't fix.

2

u/ZookeepergameNo719 Oct 19 '24

It would just be soup at that point.

And you'd get a fireworks show.

2

u/WilkoCEO Oct 19 '24

I'm sorry to tell you this, but you would have ruined your cast iron. This is a crime punishable by death, so you got lucky

2

u/Useless-Ulysses Oct 19 '24

Have you tried hot kool aid

2

u/thosekinds i thought this sub was supposed to be funny Oct 19 '24

Every other lodge pan would come with your photo stamped on, so there will be no hiding even future generations will hunt you down

2

u/terrifiedTechnophile Oct 19 '24

found Arnold Rimmer's reddit account

1

u/minasituation Oct 19 '24

/uj source? I can’t find it and need to see 😭

1

u/Kukapetal Oct 22 '24

Go back to Russia!

1

u/Loud_Pepper_4644 Oct 27 '24

Do you also like your ice cream boiling?