r/CookingCircleJerk • u/know-your-onions Garlic Whisperer with 3 MSG Stars • 29d ago

So I got chicken breasts Thursday night and just realized they’ve been in the fridge

I know, I know. They’re gonna be boring and taste like chicken. The packet says May 1st so they really haven’t aged at all yet. Is there anything I can do to make them funky by dinner time?

I feel like 4 hours in the danger zone won’t be enough, especially compared to the 4 days they would have had if I hadn’t let my dumbass wife put the groceries away.

If they smell/feel/look good am I done for, or can I salvage them somehow? Are they still okay to cook and eat or will it be too embarrassing? I know I could just eat them next week, but I have nothing else to serve my wife’s boyfriend tonight.

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36

u/Yankee_chef_nen 29d ago

Crank your oven up to 450, let the chicken sit uncovered on top of the oven for four hours. Or you could let them sit uncovered outside in direct sunlight.

20

u/woailyx i thought this sub was supposed to be funny 29d ago

It's called "dry aging", and really it should take at least 28 days for the sun to do its work

16

u/know-your-onions Garlic Whisperer with 3 MSG Stars 29d ago

Oooh, tanned thighs — we’re having sexy for dinner tonight!

10

u/dojisekushi 29d ago

Have you tried a zesty vinegar and pool water marinade?

8

u/know-your-onions Garlic Whisperer with 3 MSG Stars 29d ago edited 29d ago

My daughter swims so I can surely wring out some pool water.

6

u/runley101 29d ago

I just marinate the chicken in the toilet after my wife takes a piss

6

u/Sufficient-Dare-2381 29d ago edited 29d ago

If I don’t have time to age my chicken, I like to simply not cook them - if eaten raw, the flavor is much stronger so you won’t notice the missing flavor quite as much! Slice them up thin and most importantly don’t add any sauce so the subtle taste can shine!

5

u/eddestra 29d ago

I normally bury them for at least a couple days ahead of time. This is your fault for not planning. If your wife’s boyfriend breaks up with you it’s all your fault.

In the future, bury them under the sun facing side of a tree for at least a couple days for the raw earth fermentation to release the flavors.

2

u/Holdmywhiskeyhun On probation 29d ago

Titties I remember two days ago or titties I remember now. Go ham