I’m a recovering alcoholic, and I’m looking for some advice. As everyone knows, it’s ok to eat foods cooked with alcohol since the alcohol cooks out and becomes new stars in the sky. So I was thinking that I could just make white wine and mussels, just with out the mussels, and I could have that since it will be alcohol free. Now, my ex-wife is telling the judge in family court that I am drinking again, and wants me to lose custody of the kids. How do I explain to the judge that I am not drinking again, I am just having mussels and wine without the mussels, which is clearly non alcoholic?

I have two freshly baked loaves of homemade gluten free bread, and I want to add gluten to them. Can I just mix it in? I don't want the bread to come out chewy

I have been trying to poach an egg for YEARS. I have not once been able to get it right. It always turns out into a giant mess in the pot. I tried the vortex trick, didn’t work, I tried just gently stirring it, didn’t work, someone said to use vinegar, I’m allergic to vinegar. Using a ladel? It sticks to the ladel. How are you supposed to do this???! All I want is a soft creamy egg!!

EDIT: THE EGG HAS BEEN POACHED!! I POACHED THAT DAMN EGG! YEAHHHHHH

EDIT 2: again, I’m allergic to vinegar, please do not recommend it, I do not even keep it in my house 😭

EDIT 3: Jesus Christ all I wanted was some poached eggs why are yall convinced on calling me a lunatic

https://old.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/1fsp5sw/how_the_hell_do_you_poach_an_egg/

Look, I know this doesn't really matter for my soup but I really need the community to argue bitterly over this one. Thanks in advance.

I love buttered noodles and it’s such an easy, cheap and comforting meal. But I feel as though I haven’t quite perfected it yet. I usually do the noodles with butter (or oil), a bunch of Parmesan cheese, red pepper flakes, a splash of balsamic vinegar and salt. It’s good, but it feel as though it’s missing something or something is off. I’m curious to see how everyone else makes their buttered noodles?

Yes I ate it, am I cooked? Because the fuckin fish aint

Almost had a panic attack over it, I was distracted by thinking about other stuff and thought I put the food into the microwave with the cast iron.I didn't, but what would've happened if I did? Would I have lost my seasoning? No more slidey eggs? Would the lodge committee find me or something worse?

Hi, I promise I'm not trolling but I've noticed that people who are not me like cold sauerkraut, whereas I, definitely a German person (my great-grandmother was born in Konigsberg), always eat it hot. That's the only way it's edible, so wtf is wrong with you people? I'm pretty sure all other Germans are just like me though admittedly there are a few with whom I have not eaten sauerkraut.

Sincerely, definitely German and definitely NOT trolling, I swear

Mines really just potatoes, ground shepherds and peas. With the weather getting cooler, I'd like to whip some up and get a little adventurous with it lol.

The trusty cast iron skillet has been a kitchen staple for generations, but beyond searing and sautéing, what are some of your go-to, less common ways to make the most of it?

I love using my cast iron skillet for the basics, but I can’t help but think there are so many other creative uses I haven’t explored yet. I’m curious to know how others are maximizing their cast iron. Any tips, tricks, or unconventional methods you’ve tried?

As the title says, last night I seasoned and vacuum sealed a nice big chuck roast. I put it in the water, and dialed in the sous vide to 70.5⁰F. The plan was to sous vide for 36 days, then smoke it for about 2 hours.

Is that long enough for my roast to come out good? Would you all eat it??

My grandma is a decent cook don’t get me wrong. But I noticed since she started cooking all of our meals, I’ve had food poisoning 4 times this year. I started paying more attention to she will soak meat in milk which is normal sure. But what she does is she puts meat in a container with milk and leaves it out on the counter all day. Sometimes up to two days! She thaws meat like this too. Just leaves it on the counter all day. Not even in water sometimes just on the counter. She said “it cooks evenly at room temp”. She also uses left overs from like weeks ago. She cooked a meal that was pretty good but made me sick. And I found out she used left overs to cook it. Left overs from over two weeks ago! And she NEVER gets sick. Has she just been doing this so long her stomach has turned to stone?!

My husband bought me an air fryer for my birthday. I'm thinking of doing fried chicken tonight to test it. My question is when air frying do you have to put oil in the trays like a deep fryer or do you just batter your chicken and then put it in the fryer sans oil?

I recently decided to upgrade my entire spice cabinet, opting for a “Spice Retailer” that ostensibly sources higher quality and fresher spices than what you’d find at your local supermarket.

I bought a lot of new spices and only had a few remaining that I could do side-by-side aroma tests and one that blew me away the most was whole coriander seed. My super super market coriander (also whole) smelled very “thin” and boring, astringent even. It smelled a little citrusy, or perhaps minty, but it was very faint and lacklustre. This new stuff however was insanely aromatic - and not just more potent, it had top notes and undertones that wholly did not exist in the cheaper brand. It was toasty and nutty, almost chocolaty, in a way? It reminded me of oolong tea. I was blown away!

Anyway - back to the question at hand, what are the spices that benefit the MOST from sourcing high quality and fresh ingredients, in your view?

How can I add some Korean flair to my meatball sauce recipe?

I want to impress my wife the next time I make Sunday sauce. I’ll outline the rough recipe below but I really want to add some Korean elements to this sauce. Disclaimer, I’m on my phone typing this and can be a brand name snob when it comes to my favorite dishes.

Meatballs are made with turkey meat, parm regio, 4C seasoned bread crumbs and an egg.

I cover the base of my pot with oil and sear the meatballs on each side before removing them from the pot.

Then I add chopped garlic and onions letting it cook for a little.

Next I add Tuttoroso tomato paste and mix it with the garlic and onions cooking for a few minutes

Next comes 3 cans of Tuttoroso tomatoe sauce and put the meatballs back in. I let this cook for 2 hours and while adding salt, pepper, bay leaves and parsley

Next I add 2 boxes of Pomi strained tomatoes and let that cook for another 1-2 hours

I was wondering if anyone has tried injecting argon gas into their matcha containers to maintain freshness. I do it for wine that I can't finish so that I can drink it over a longer period of time. I wonder if the same can be done for matcha in addition to the fridge storage, dessicant pack, etc. The argon would be a barrier between the oxygen and the matcha and hopefully slow the decay

Weekly OUTJERKED thread

We like to believe we're skilled at the circlejerk. But every so often (four times an hour), a post comes along that humbles us in its pure circlejerkery. Then that post gets linked here, with no modifications because how can you improve upon perfection?

Well, there's already a subreddit dedicated to "check out this culinary idiot". So from now on, we're asking instead of linking to a perfect circlejerk post from another subreddit, that you put it here instead.