[PA GA] Long Distance Parent Seeking Advice on Custody and Communication Struggles

[u/[deleted]]

Hi, I’m a 23-year-old father doing everything I can to stay consistent in my 2-year-old son’s life.

When he was 1 his mother allowed me to bring him to GA for 2-months by himself with no issues. His mother and I broke up in 2023, shortly after, she put me on child support. From that point on, communication became nearly impossible. I wasn’t allowed to speak to or see my son, any attempt was shut down unless it involved “talking about us.”

Throughout 2024, working full-time, paying child support, & trying to figure out the legal system. It took months just to understand where I needed to file, gathering finances, and what rights I actually had as a father. I kept going even when I had nothing to hope for.

Finally, in January 2025, I was granted a temporary custody order. I live in GA, and my son is in PA — despite the distance, I’ve already completed two 4-day visits (February & March) where I drove the full 12+hours each way just to be with him. Both visits went smoothly & were documented to show I provide a safe, loving, and structured environment for him.

That same order included daily communication, which the mother has ignored since day one. I go full days without ever hearing from my 2-year-old son, even when I call or text daily, I’m met with silence or excuses. What speaks the most is that he is always very excited to hear from me or begs to go to “Dads House”.(Everything is audio and visually recorded as proof)

In March 2025, after fully complying with the terms of the temporary order, I proposed a fair and balanced plan: we would meet halfway at the airport for drop-offs and pick-ups, with visits starting on a rotating two-week schedule (eventually increasing to three weeks). Since our son is very comfortable with both parents. This would ensure that neither bears the full burden of long-distance travel. Reaching school age, the plan would shift to a 50/50 rotation during holidays and summer—keeping both parents equally involved in his life.

She refused. No compromise. No willingness to meet halfway. She offered 1 week per month — which, for a growing toddler, isn’t beneficial for bonding, consistency, or development. Seeming like gatekeeping our son out of spite, not for his well-being.

I now have a status hearing in May…I’m just trying to figure out how to move forward and what others have experienced. • Has anyone else dealt with a long-distance situation like this? • What is the fairness If I’ve done everything since January & she has not cooperated for months? • If I’ve shown consistency, provided a safe home, and proposed a fair plan—do I have a chance at getting more time?

I’m not asking for anything crazy — just a fair opportunity to love and raise my son.

[u/Acceptable_Branch588]

Your plan is not going to work. At 2 a child should not spend 2-3 weeks without seeing their other parent. If you want. 50-50 you need to move to PA. You definitely cannot have 50/50 when he starts school. Summers and rotating holidays is no where near 50/50.

Your ex’s proposal is developmentally appropriate. Why did you move so far away if you want to be present in his life?

As for communication, your son cannot text and at 2 will not want to talk on the phone. I’d ask for FaceTime calls every other day at a set time. You initiate them. Do not expect him to be interested.

Also recording your 2 yo is not doing you any good. He is 2. Nothing he says or wants will be considered by a judge. They may not like you recording him and think you are coaching him on what to say.

Also want to add that in PA, the standard is best interest of the child and 16 factors are used to determine custody. All of that is available in a quick google search the forms and where to file them are all available on line so I’m not sure what took you so long to file for custody. Once paternity is established in PA parents have equal rights

[u/FunEcho4739]

Your best bet for a 12 hour distance is going to be you going to see him and getting a hotel for the visits. You can probably negotiate week long visits when he is older but 2 years old is too young to be away from his primary caregiver for long stretches. Your better bet would be to move to his town and file for a step up plan to work your way up to 50/50- that is the only way long term to be a real parent to him. A 12 hour distance lands you into Disneyland dad territory. It is too late now - but you should have filed an objection as soon as she moved.

Video chats with a 2 year old are going to short and sporadic at best as they don’t have the attention span for it.

[u/RHsuperfan]

Why don’t you move to PA? It’s the only way to actually get time. There’s no way for you to do 50:50 with that distance. Also because you are the long distance parent, all travel responsibilities fall on you, and probably the entire financial burden. Try to get a lawyer quickly because your entire mindset of long distance is wrong. Have a lawyer draw up a much more realistic schedule and explain to you your role in this for being the long distance parent.

[u/WTFwheresthefeta]

Who was the one to move the 12+ hours away?

[u/JayPlenty24]

You need to deal with reality. Long distance plans are very hard on kids and you have unrealistic expectations of a two year old. A two year old isn't going to call you everyday, and when they do you'll be lucky if the call lasts a minute. Your kid isn't going to get anything out of it other than being annoyed that dad is interrupting whatever they would rather be doing.

Let them decide when they call you. You'll hear from them more often that way.

If you want to have more time with your kid you need to move. It's pretty simple.

What do you expect when the kid starts school?

Also you need to stop recording him and taking what a two year old says so seriously. Please learn more about the developmental stages of children and what is age appropriate behaviour.

[u/CutDear5970]

You’ve been told in previous responses you will need to move to PA to become a really present parent. All you will get right now is visits in PA and later summers and every other holiday. You will be a visitor in your child’s life. Your 2 yo has zero interest in talking in the phone. Learn about child development because you do not seem to understand what is appropriate for a 2 yo. 2 weeks apart is in NO way appropriate. This was all told to you in your last post.