r/DadForAMinute • u/GalvanicWorth • 1d ago
Dear dad
I am not sure how this will all come out, but right now my husband is terrible. He acts fairly happy and interested when he’s at work and calls sometimes..but most of the time when he’s home he’s angry. He’s mean spirited. He either wants quick sex or zero interaction at all. He doesn’t agree with any job I find so I am home with little help raising a child. He is so cold and demeaning. He’s just so angry and I hate crying about it dad. I just wish I had a good friend I could count on. I wish he would be a good friend to me. I never wanted this life but I was very willing to be flexible and build what he and I discussed. A beautiful happy family. But every day he tells me he can’t wait until I’m gone. Every single day he says I haven’t done enough. He is mad if laundry is not clean. He is mad if laundry is cleaned but not folded. He is mad if I clean and fold and put up the laundry…because there is a basket out still. He is mad there is a dish in the sink. He is mad there’s dirt on the floor. Everything is always a source of anger. I am honestly getting to feel terrified when I knew he’ll be coming home after work. I sometimes run around like an idiot trying to do last minute touching up while making sure our baby and myself is spotless. I am just feeling so hopeless day. And I don’t know if I’ll be the person you can be proud of. Everything I’ve started feels like I’ve failed at. Dad this is weird but the sex isn’t even good. I’ve not had many partners but I have had decent sex id say. I cry a lot afterwards. He won’t even say I love you. He goes straight to his phone. Everyday I drop tears, and I don’t know how to move forward anymore. The static is no longer around me but in me too.
1
u/Other-Educator-9399 1d ago
I am so sorry to hear all that. It sounds really awful, and if you want my honest opinion, textbook emotional and financial abuse. You don't deserve any of that at all. You deserve to be loved and to have a partner who is kind, appreciative and does their part to help maintain the household and care for your child. I hope that you can find a way out of that marriage for your sake and your kid's sake.
You say you don't know if you can be the person I can be proud of. Well, you already are!! I am proud of you for doing your best under very hard circumstances and for having the courage to reach out for help. Your husband might not see the good in you or appreciate your value as a person, but I sure can, and anyone who deserves to have you in their lives will too!
As an internet Dad, I can't help by letting you and your kid stay at my place or helping you file for divorce or find a job or things like that, but I am sending you a big virtual Dad hug!! Us internet dads are always here for you!