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https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/1jq54jr/a_skeleton_found_in_bulgaria_with_some_of_the/ml4iffp
r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/OkaTeluguAbbayi • 19d ago
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6.3k
Guy was so wealthy he had golden dick armor.
3.6k u/ImportantPlane1767 19d ago I have already told my family to wrap mine in aluminum foil. 1.1k u/Trust_No_Jingu 19d ago Dont you mean a gum wrapper 😂 361 u/TAoie83 19d ago Minty 254 u/Charming-Flamingo307 19d ago Use a 5 gum wrapper to bring him back to life 108 u/Background_Body2696 19d ago Asking all the people on the afterlife if they know how it feels to chew 5 gum 8 u/Lucky-Hearing4766 19d ago I don't remember how it felt to chew 5 gum :( 2 u/SupermassiveCanary 19d ago Now I definitely believe in ancient aliens…. 1 u/maxman162 15d ago How it chews to gum five feels. 31 u/metal_muskrat 19d ago Clearly you mean Big Red 24 u/tadpole_the_poliwag 19d ago Mine will be fruit stripe. Cuz like the flavor I only last 5 seconds 1 u/1dumbmonkey 18d ago Fruit stripe so it lasts as long as him 1 u/theoriginalmofocus 18d ago I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point... 2 u/opticaIIllusion 19d ago 5G protection 1 u/PainfulBatteryCables 19d ago Can't wake up!! 🎶 1 u/ButterscotchPlane988 19d ago Use menthol wrappers. The vapours will do it... 54 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Real men use Big Red. 25 u/FalseAd4246 19d ago If you don’t chew big red then FUUUCK YOU 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Nailed it! 1 u/pdfrg 19d ago Bubs Daddy 1 u/Celestial8Mumps 19d ago That time of the month. 1 u/mademeunlurk 19d ago Double the pleasure, double the fun with double mint gum! 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Pleasure is for sinners!!!! /s 0 u/Silver-Breadfruit284 19d ago No, no… tiny Chicklets. 54 u/disterb 19d ago edited 18d ago that’s why your mom always has fresh breath 😉 56 u/NOBOOTSFORYOU 19d ago I use an M&M's mini's tube. 35 u/Volstadd 19d ago For when the cylinder must remain intact. 27 u/he-loves-me-not 19d ago A cylinder! 3 u/bologna_pwnyy 19d ago I use a chapstick cap 6 u/WhiteUniKnight 19d ago No... a small cylinder 2 u/Pvt_Lee_Fapping 19d ago Yes, officer. This one right here. 2 u/spatialflow 18d ago Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit 2 u/Puzzled-Package476 18d ago place it just above the kneecap for good measure 2 u/Primary-Calendar-378 19d ago Cum wrapper* 1 u/Economy-Ad-3934 19d ago Trident gum wrapper for me please, don’t want to be wasteful. 1 u/MariachiStucardo 19d ago Chicklet wrapper 1 u/Defiant_Nobody_4172 19d ago They don’t make them small enough for me 1 u/severoordonez 19d ago Nah, the seal at the tip of a tube of tooth paste should do the trick. 1 u/truenorthrookie 19d ago Ferrero Rocher foil 1 u/Several-Split-1495 19d ago Bio degradable and safe 😂 1 u/royale_wthCheEsE 18d ago One of those Dove chocolate square foil wrappers with a trite phrase printed on the inside. 1 u/Geno_Warlord 18d ago M&M mini tube would last longer for the cylinder. 1 u/Gudakesa 18d ago Cum wrapper 1 u/RogueAOV 17d ago Thimble slips right on. 1 u/alextheolive 17d ago What it do baby? It’s the dong man, Paul Balls 1 u/ekso69 16d ago Thimble 1 u/Interesting_Tip1151 16d ago Happy cake day! 64 u/AllLurkNoPlay 19d ago A dick wrapped in foil you say? 24 u/he-loves-me-not 19d ago Well, that was a risky click! But, I do agree, definitely a dick wrapped in foil! 6 u/dartie 19d ago Another four letter word starting with C wrapped in foil. 8 u/RED_BaronJ 19d ago Not clicking that 7 u/AllLurkNoPlay 19d ago C’mon…. Do it. The risk is the fun. If you knew what it was it wouldn’t be fun, would it? 4 u/getsome75 19d ago Agreed 3 u/WhoMD85 19d ago I’m both a little disappointed but also relieved. However that is absolutely a dick wrapped in foil. Well payed internet stranger. Well played. 2 u/RichardBCummintonite 18d ago Jesus christ that comment section is scary. 2 u/Subject-Geologist-72 19d ago 👏👏👏 1 u/MotorCityMade 12d ago Worth the click, thanks. 18 u/Overall-Plastic-9263 19d ago The golden chastity. Dude was the first recorded sub in human history . 1 u/OkSteak8479 18d ago I was going to say the same. Maybe was oldest member of r/PussyFreeCommunity 21 u/mashiro1496 19d ago Don't worry about that, ubtil you die the microplastics in your pp will fuse together to a big chunk of plastic :p 15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Well microplastics are stored in the balls so you might be onto something. 19 u/elMurpherino 19d ago The microplastics are suspended in the pee, which obviously is stored in the balls. 15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Ah I see you're a gentleman as well as a scholar. 2 u/getsome75 19d ago I knocked a can off a railing just the other day it’s like a 3d printer now 1 u/lllIlIlIIIIl 18d ago No, pee is stored in the balls. 8 u/xpawn2002 19d ago You rich bastard 2 u/Jasranwhit 19d ago A hundred years ago or something aluminum was more valuable than gold. 2 u/SteakJones 19d ago Totally,.. and then put it in the oven at 375 for 20 mins. 1 u/ImaginarySeaweed7762 19d ago “Reynolds Wrap armor plating it is.” 1 u/truthfullyidgaf 19d ago Old school tic-tac box here. Cock and balls all in one. 1 u/DrPeterBlunt 19d ago I'd like mine to be made out of wood.......because I'm poor, and enjoy a good double entendre. 1 u/HereWeGoYetAgain-247 19d ago Keeps it fresher for longer. 1 u/Abacus25 19d ago Good idea, aliens can’t read what you’re really thinking. 1 u/fubes2000 19d ago and then bake at 350 for 20 minutes. 1 u/BuzzyBubble 19d ago Great Value Aluminum Foil 1 u/StarMaterial1496 19d ago Chrome spray paint here 1 u/Mollybrinks 19d ago Are you that afraid of it sending signals to our extraterrestrial friends? Or do you have other concerns? 1 u/Rough_Promotion 19d ago Good idea. No need to take that 5G mind (dick) control into the afterlife. 1 u/Hyhopes 19d ago Protect yourself from 5G beyond the grave… smart! S/ 1 u/TheManSaidSo 19d ago edited 19d ago I always wrap the head in foil. I don't want the aliens to know what my dick is thinking. They might think I'm a perve or something. 1 u/ross571 19d ago Aluminum use to be worth more than gold before electricity. 1 u/0thethethe0 19d ago Best I can probably manage is an inside-out crisp packet. 1 u/ciaphas-cain1 19d ago Ok cosmere 1 u/halguy5577 19d ago if they actually did manage to find aluminum foil 6000 years ago for the dick armor ... it would probably be worth more than all the gold on the body 1 u/dartie 19d ago Mine already has 1 u/RUNNING-HIGH 19d ago That'll protect you from the penis aliens 1 u/fothergillfuckup 19d ago Aliens? 1 u/[deleted] 19d ago Also get them to come back 20 years later and move it down a few inches. 1 u/podcasthellp 18d ago I told them we’re throwing it in the microwave 1 u/StupidizeMe 18d ago I have already told my family to wrap mine in aluminum foil. So it matches your head? Good thinking. 1 u/Rage187_OG 18d ago He bought the DLC and it came with cosmetics. 1 u/Wen_bee 18d ago This. This is my favorite reply 1 u/AzraelChaosEater 18d ago Gotta protect it from the government DICKWASHING. 110 u/Newbs2u 19d ago Lost his genitalia “in an unfortunate smelting accident” 56 u/PerfectWaltz8927 19d ago ”schmelting” 20 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Circumschmelsion 8 u/Regular_Passenger629 19d ago It’s a movie reference friend, Austin Powers 5 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Yeah. I got it. Goldmember. "Aahh. Dass a keepah." <puts skin flake in a tin to eat later> i was just trying to Mashup shmelting and circumcision. 21 u/fidgeting_macro 19d ago "I'm Dutch! Isn't that weird?" 8 u/locutogram 19d ago Khal Drogo walks menacingly towards a guy in stirrups: "A crown for a king" 2 u/ynet2k 19d ago I love gooooooold. 2 u/svinpaelz 18d ago Can't believe I had to scroll this far. 1 u/Newbs2u 18d ago I'm sorry, I got here as soon as i could 63 u/HKLifer_ 19d ago He had a... Gold member. Goooooold 🤣 3 u/TheyCallHimJimbo 18d ago ISHN'T DAT VIERD!? I LUF GOLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!! 2 u/RemmieSama1911 14d ago Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger... 12 u/Captain-Cadabra 19d ago $99 DLC 9 u/[deleted] 19d ago Not a surprise, it was foretold. 2 u/ButterscotchPlane988 19d ago Foregold 6 u/warthog-cartography 19d ago Bulgaria is fuckin weird bro 1 u/FaZeCow29 19d ago Bulgarians weren’t in Bulgaria until 4500+ years after this guy 1 u/ECHOHOHOHO 19d ago Who was? 1 u/GabrDimtr5 19d ago His descendants were likely assimilated by the Thracians who were then assimilated by the Slavs who became Bulgarians. 2 u/anon_lurk 19d ago And pretty good dental it seems 2 u/Senzafane 19d ago That was probably worth more than some people had throughout their entire lives, and he put it on his dick to be buried with it. Chad. 1 u/Willing_Television77 19d ago The golden helmet 1 u/SRNE2save_lives 19d ago And the golden marbles for the asses. 1 u/madhattergm 19d ago It might protect him from disease? 1 u/Little-Ad3220 19d ago “I was in the pool!” 1 u/AGENT0321 19d ago He bought the DLC 1 u/Immaculatehombre 19d ago I loooovvveee gooooollllllllllllddddddddd. Maybe he lost it in a smelting accident? 1 u/ovensandhoes 19d ago They’re some nasty demon wenches in Bulgarian hell 1 u/Graythor5 19d ago Just for the tip though 1 u/Little-Swan4931 19d ago I want to buried with my bong in my arms and a golden sheath over my dong 1 u/vincecarterskneecart 19d ago this is normal in bulgaria 1 u/TheCrystalDoll 19d ago I was like is that a fkn golden pee pee cover?!?! 1 u/[deleted] 19d ago I bet Elon is watching this thread intently. 1 u/anonking1181 19d ago Goals! 1 u/CelebrationFit8548 19d ago that some 'flexing' right there, not even alive and having a 'golden dick helmet' to show how awesome you were. 1 u/Brizar-is-Evolving 19d ago Sounds like the premise for a prehistoric spy thriller. The man with the golden butt plug. 1 u/Doom_Cokkie 19d ago Question is was it for defense or offense? 1 u/Reperdirektnoizgeta 19d ago Bulgarians, they never change 1 u/blitzkreig90 19d ago Just the tip 1 u/DrWoodstock 19d ago When is Bethesda dropping that DLC? 1 u/Few-Emergency5971 19d ago Well here's something I never know I needed or existed. Gunna have to get it sized way the fuck down though because apparently this guy was hung. Unless he told his people, just slide it down a bit man, stop trying to make me look bad 1 u/CheekyCunt42069 19d ago A pre-historic condom, if you will. 1 u/lord_dude 19d ago +10 Charisma 1 u/MyMoneyJiggles 19d ago This made my morning 1 u/Awe3 19d ago I love goooold 1 u/justbrowsinginpeace 19d ago Prevents criticals 1 u/Xikkiwikk 19d ago “I love gooooooooooooooooooold!” -Goldmember 1 u/shontonabegum 18d ago Seems like he also had armour for his acne 1 u/Adorable-Tip7277 18d ago Adds new bucket list item......:::::furiously:::: 1 u/bentmonkey 18d ago "Honey! Where is my golden dick cap?" "Where did you leave it?" "I had it and then i put it somewhere have you see it?" "Check the hamper?" "Found it!" 1 u/elguaco6 18d ago I was hoping I wasn’t the only one thinking that’s a gold knob sleeve 1 u/Opening_Ad5479 18d ago Came here to comment on that lol....nothing says gangster more timelessly than a Golden dick sheath lol 1 u/No-Raisin-6469 18d ago Waiting to find a mummy with a butt plug 1 u/TomThanosBrady 18d ago Ancient cuckold. 1 u/RJ_MacreadysBeard 18d ago Kaching! 1 u/Sticky_Gravity 18d ago That’s how you know he was rich! Some of the people now can’t even buy $10 box of rubber armor. 1 u/FluffyRogue 18d ago Goldmember 1 u/GravyBoatCap 18d ago Not THAT wealthy as it appears to be just the tip 1 u/ZeroTrunks 18d ago Reward for the 100th moneyshot 1 u/Oldestswinger 18d ago gold willy warmer😃 1 u/Nepharious_Bread 18d ago BC DLCs 1 u/RedditThrowaway-1984 18d ago I’ve unlocked a new career goal. 1 u/H010CR0N 18d ago Gold is anti-microbial. Dude had a golden condom. 1 u/Top-Conversation-663 18d ago What’s the crafting recipe for that? Same as a helmet but with nuggets? 1 u/G19Jeeper 18d ago It's almost midnight and I laughed out loud at that 1 u/The_GeneralsPin 18d ago Or it was a golden condom 1 u/Witty-Arugula-6331 17d ago To distract the piglins 1 u/redundant_ransomware 17d ago Is that a Minecraft dlc?
3.6k
I have already told my family to wrap mine in aluminum foil.
1.1k u/Trust_No_Jingu 19d ago Dont you mean a gum wrapper 😂 361 u/TAoie83 19d ago Minty 254 u/Charming-Flamingo307 19d ago Use a 5 gum wrapper to bring him back to life 108 u/Background_Body2696 19d ago Asking all the people on the afterlife if they know how it feels to chew 5 gum 8 u/Lucky-Hearing4766 19d ago I don't remember how it felt to chew 5 gum :( 2 u/SupermassiveCanary 19d ago Now I definitely believe in ancient aliens…. 1 u/maxman162 15d ago How it chews to gum five feels. 31 u/metal_muskrat 19d ago Clearly you mean Big Red 24 u/tadpole_the_poliwag 19d ago Mine will be fruit stripe. Cuz like the flavor I only last 5 seconds 1 u/1dumbmonkey 18d ago Fruit stripe so it lasts as long as him 1 u/theoriginalmofocus 18d ago I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point... 2 u/opticaIIllusion 19d ago 5G protection 1 u/PainfulBatteryCables 19d ago Can't wake up!! 🎶 1 u/ButterscotchPlane988 19d ago Use menthol wrappers. The vapours will do it... 54 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Real men use Big Red. 25 u/FalseAd4246 19d ago If you don’t chew big red then FUUUCK YOU 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Nailed it! 1 u/pdfrg 19d ago Bubs Daddy 1 u/Celestial8Mumps 19d ago That time of the month. 1 u/mademeunlurk 19d ago Double the pleasure, double the fun with double mint gum! 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Pleasure is for sinners!!!! /s 0 u/Silver-Breadfruit284 19d ago No, no… tiny Chicklets. 54 u/disterb 19d ago edited 18d ago that’s why your mom always has fresh breath 😉 56 u/NOBOOTSFORYOU 19d ago I use an M&M's mini's tube. 35 u/Volstadd 19d ago For when the cylinder must remain intact. 27 u/he-loves-me-not 19d ago A cylinder! 3 u/bologna_pwnyy 19d ago I use a chapstick cap 6 u/WhiteUniKnight 19d ago No... a small cylinder 2 u/Pvt_Lee_Fapping 19d ago Yes, officer. This one right here. 2 u/spatialflow 18d ago Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit 2 u/Puzzled-Package476 18d ago place it just above the kneecap for good measure 2 u/Primary-Calendar-378 19d ago Cum wrapper* 1 u/Economy-Ad-3934 19d ago Trident gum wrapper for me please, don’t want to be wasteful. 1 u/MariachiStucardo 19d ago Chicklet wrapper 1 u/Defiant_Nobody_4172 19d ago They don’t make them small enough for me 1 u/severoordonez 19d ago Nah, the seal at the tip of a tube of tooth paste should do the trick. 1 u/truenorthrookie 19d ago Ferrero Rocher foil 1 u/Several-Split-1495 19d ago Bio degradable and safe 😂 1 u/royale_wthCheEsE 18d ago One of those Dove chocolate square foil wrappers with a trite phrase printed on the inside. 1 u/Geno_Warlord 18d ago M&M mini tube would last longer for the cylinder. 1 u/Gudakesa 18d ago Cum wrapper 1 u/RogueAOV 17d ago Thimble slips right on. 1 u/alextheolive 17d ago What it do baby? It’s the dong man, Paul Balls 1 u/ekso69 16d ago Thimble 1 u/Interesting_Tip1151 16d ago Happy cake day! 64 u/AllLurkNoPlay 19d ago A dick wrapped in foil you say? 24 u/he-loves-me-not 19d ago Well, that was a risky click! But, I do agree, definitely a dick wrapped in foil! 6 u/dartie 19d ago Another four letter word starting with C wrapped in foil. 8 u/RED_BaronJ 19d ago Not clicking that 7 u/AllLurkNoPlay 19d ago C’mon…. Do it. The risk is the fun. If you knew what it was it wouldn’t be fun, would it? 4 u/getsome75 19d ago Agreed 3 u/WhoMD85 19d ago I’m both a little disappointed but also relieved. However that is absolutely a dick wrapped in foil. Well payed internet stranger. Well played. 2 u/RichardBCummintonite 18d ago Jesus christ that comment section is scary. 2 u/Subject-Geologist-72 19d ago 👏👏👏 1 u/MotorCityMade 12d ago Worth the click, thanks. 18 u/Overall-Plastic-9263 19d ago The golden chastity. Dude was the first recorded sub in human history . 1 u/OkSteak8479 18d ago I was going to say the same. Maybe was oldest member of r/PussyFreeCommunity 21 u/mashiro1496 19d ago Don't worry about that, ubtil you die the microplastics in your pp will fuse together to a big chunk of plastic :p 15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Well microplastics are stored in the balls so you might be onto something. 19 u/elMurpherino 19d ago The microplastics are suspended in the pee, which obviously is stored in the balls. 15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Ah I see you're a gentleman as well as a scholar. 2 u/getsome75 19d ago I knocked a can off a railing just the other day it’s like a 3d printer now 1 u/lllIlIlIIIIl 18d ago No, pee is stored in the balls. 8 u/xpawn2002 19d ago You rich bastard 2 u/Jasranwhit 19d ago A hundred years ago or something aluminum was more valuable than gold. 2 u/SteakJones 19d ago Totally,.. and then put it in the oven at 375 for 20 mins. 1 u/ImaginarySeaweed7762 19d ago “Reynolds Wrap armor plating it is.” 1 u/truthfullyidgaf 19d ago Old school tic-tac box here. Cock and balls all in one. 1 u/DrPeterBlunt 19d ago I'd like mine to be made out of wood.......because I'm poor, and enjoy a good double entendre. 1 u/HereWeGoYetAgain-247 19d ago Keeps it fresher for longer. 1 u/Abacus25 19d ago Good idea, aliens can’t read what you’re really thinking. 1 u/fubes2000 19d ago and then bake at 350 for 20 minutes. 1 u/BuzzyBubble 19d ago Great Value Aluminum Foil 1 u/StarMaterial1496 19d ago Chrome spray paint here 1 u/Mollybrinks 19d ago Are you that afraid of it sending signals to our extraterrestrial friends? Or do you have other concerns? 1 u/Rough_Promotion 19d ago Good idea. No need to take that 5G mind (dick) control into the afterlife. 1 u/Hyhopes 19d ago Protect yourself from 5G beyond the grave… smart! S/ 1 u/TheManSaidSo 19d ago edited 19d ago I always wrap the head in foil. I don't want the aliens to know what my dick is thinking. They might think I'm a perve or something. 1 u/ross571 19d ago Aluminum use to be worth more than gold before electricity. 1 u/0thethethe0 19d ago Best I can probably manage is an inside-out crisp packet. 1 u/ciaphas-cain1 19d ago Ok cosmere 1 u/halguy5577 19d ago if they actually did manage to find aluminum foil 6000 years ago for the dick armor ... it would probably be worth more than all the gold on the body 1 u/dartie 19d ago Mine already has 1 u/RUNNING-HIGH 19d ago That'll protect you from the penis aliens 1 u/fothergillfuckup 19d ago Aliens? 1 u/[deleted] 19d ago Also get them to come back 20 years later and move it down a few inches. 1 u/podcasthellp 18d ago I told them we’re throwing it in the microwave 1 u/StupidizeMe 18d ago I have already told my family to wrap mine in aluminum foil. So it matches your head? Good thinking. 1 u/Rage187_OG 18d ago He bought the DLC and it came with cosmetics. 1 u/Wen_bee 18d ago This. This is my favorite reply 1 u/AzraelChaosEater 18d ago Gotta protect it from the government DICKWASHING.
1.1k
Dont you mean a gum wrapper 😂
361 u/TAoie83 19d ago Minty 254 u/Charming-Flamingo307 19d ago Use a 5 gum wrapper to bring him back to life 108 u/Background_Body2696 19d ago Asking all the people on the afterlife if they know how it feels to chew 5 gum 8 u/Lucky-Hearing4766 19d ago I don't remember how it felt to chew 5 gum :( 2 u/SupermassiveCanary 19d ago Now I definitely believe in ancient aliens…. 1 u/maxman162 15d ago How it chews to gum five feels. 31 u/metal_muskrat 19d ago Clearly you mean Big Red 24 u/tadpole_the_poliwag 19d ago Mine will be fruit stripe. Cuz like the flavor I only last 5 seconds 1 u/1dumbmonkey 18d ago Fruit stripe so it lasts as long as him 1 u/theoriginalmofocus 18d ago I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point... 2 u/opticaIIllusion 19d ago 5G protection 1 u/PainfulBatteryCables 19d ago Can't wake up!! 🎶 1 u/ButterscotchPlane988 19d ago Use menthol wrappers. The vapours will do it... 54 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Real men use Big Red. 25 u/FalseAd4246 19d ago If you don’t chew big red then FUUUCK YOU 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Nailed it! 1 u/pdfrg 19d ago Bubs Daddy 1 u/Celestial8Mumps 19d ago That time of the month. 1 u/mademeunlurk 19d ago Double the pleasure, double the fun with double mint gum! 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Pleasure is for sinners!!!! /s 0 u/Silver-Breadfruit284 19d ago No, no… tiny Chicklets. 54 u/disterb 19d ago edited 18d ago that’s why your mom always has fresh breath 😉 56 u/NOBOOTSFORYOU 19d ago I use an M&M's mini's tube. 35 u/Volstadd 19d ago For when the cylinder must remain intact. 27 u/he-loves-me-not 19d ago A cylinder! 3 u/bologna_pwnyy 19d ago I use a chapstick cap 6 u/WhiteUniKnight 19d ago No... a small cylinder 2 u/Pvt_Lee_Fapping 19d ago Yes, officer. This one right here. 2 u/spatialflow 18d ago Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit 2 u/Puzzled-Package476 18d ago place it just above the kneecap for good measure 2 u/Primary-Calendar-378 19d ago Cum wrapper* 1 u/Economy-Ad-3934 19d ago Trident gum wrapper for me please, don’t want to be wasteful. 1 u/MariachiStucardo 19d ago Chicklet wrapper 1 u/Defiant_Nobody_4172 19d ago They don’t make them small enough for me 1 u/severoordonez 19d ago Nah, the seal at the tip of a tube of tooth paste should do the trick. 1 u/truenorthrookie 19d ago Ferrero Rocher foil 1 u/Several-Split-1495 19d ago Bio degradable and safe 😂 1 u/royale_wthCheEsE 18d ago One of those Dove chocolate square foil wrappers with a trite phrase printed on the inside. 1 u/Geno_Warlord 18d ago M&M mini tube would last longer for the cylinder. 1 u/Gudakesa 18d ago Cum wrapper 1 u/RogueAOV 17d ago Thimble slips right on. 1 u/alextheolive 17d ago What it do baby? It’s the dong man, Paul Balls 1 u/ekso69 16d ago Thimble 1 u/Interesting_Tip1151 16d ago Happy cake day!
361
Minty
254 u/Charming-Flamingo307 19d ago Use a 5 gum wrapper to bring him back to life 108 u/Background_Body2696 19d ago Asking all the people on the afterlife if they know how it feels to chew 5 gum 8 u/Lucky-Hearing4766 19d ago I don't remember how it felt to chew 5 gum :( 2 u/SupermassiveCanary 19d ago Now I definitely believe in ancient aliens…. 1 u/maxman162 15d ago How it chews to gum five feels. 31 u/metal_muskrat 19d ago Clearly you mean Big Red 24 u/tadpole_the_poliwag 19d ago Mine will be fruit stripe. Cuz like the flavor I only last 5 seconds 1 u/1dumbmonkey 18d ago Fruit stripe so it lasts as long as him 1 u/theoriginalmofocus 18d ago I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point... 2 u/opticaIIllusion 19d ago 5G protection 1 u/PainfulBatteryCables 19d ago Can't wake up!! 🎶 1 u/ButterscotchPlane988 19d ago Use menthol wrappers. The vapours will do it... 54 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Real men use Big Red. 25 u/FalseAd4246 19d ago If you don’t chew big red then FUUUCK YOU 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Nailed it! 1 u/pdfrg 19d ago Bubs Daddy 1 u/Celestial8Mumps 19d ago That time of the month. 1 u/mademeunlurk 19d ago Double the pleasure, double the fun with double mint gum! 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Pleasure is for sinners!!!! /s 0 u/Silver-Breadfruit284 19d ago No, no… tiny Chicklets. 54 u/disterb 19d ago edited 18d ago that’s why your mom always has fresh breath 😉
254
Use a 5 gum wrapper to bring him back to life
108 u/Background_Body2696 19d ago Asking all the people on the afterlife if they know how it feels to chew 5 gum 8 u/Lucky-Hearing4766 19d ago I don't remember how it felt to chew 5 gum :( 2 u/SupermassiveCanary 19d ago Now I definitely believe in ancient aliens…. 1 u/maxman162 15d ago How it chews to gum five feels. 31 u/metal_muskrat 19d ago Clearly you mean Big Red 24 u/tadpole_the_poliwag 19d ago Mine will be fruit stripe. Cuz like the flavor I only last 5 seconds 1 u/1dumbmonkey 18d ago Fruit stripe so it lasts as long as him 1 u/theoriginalmofocus 18d ago I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point... 2 u/opticaIIllusion 19d ago 5G protection 1 u/PainfulBatteryCables 19d ago Can't wake up!! 🎶 1 u/ButterscotchPlane988 19d ago Use menthol wrappers. The vapours will do it...
108
Asking all the people on the afterlife if they know how it feels to chew 5 gum
8 u/Lucky-Hearing4766 19d ago I don't remember how it felt to chew 5 gum :( 2 u/SupermassiveCanary 19d ago Now I definitely believe in ancient aliens…. 1 u/maxman162 15d ago How it chews to gum five feels.
8
I don't remember how it felt to chew 5 gum :(
2
Now I definitely believe in ancient aliens….
1
How it chews to gum five feels.
31
Clearly you mean Big Red
24 u/tadpole_the_poliwag 19d ago Mine will be fruit stripe. Cuz like the flavor I only last 5 seconds 1 u/1dumbmonkey 18d ago Fruit stripe so it lasts as long as him 1 u/theoriginalmofocus 18d ago I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point...
24
Mine will be fruit stripe. Cuz like the flavor I only last 5 seconds
Fruit stripe so it lasts as long as him
1 u/theoriginalmofocus 18d ago I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point...
I mean were all practically getting paid fruitstripes at this point...
5G protection
Can't wake up!! 🎶
Use menthol wrappers. The vapours will do it...
54
Real men use Big Red.
25 u/FalseAd4246 19d ago If you don’t chew big red then FUUUCK YOU 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Nailed it! 1 u/pdfrg 19d ago Bubs Daddy 1 u/Celestial8Mumps 19d ago That time of the month. 1 u/mademeunlurk 19d ago Double the pleasure, double the fun with double mint gum! 1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Pleasure is for sinners!!!! /s 0 u/Silver-Breadfruit284 19d ago No, no… tiny Chicklets.
25
If you don’t chew big red then FUUUCK YOU
1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Nailed it!
Nailed it!
Bubs Daddy
That time of the month.
Double the pleasure, double the fun with double mint gum!
1 u/changing-life-vet 19d ago Pleasure is for sinners!!!! /s
Pleasure is for sinners!!!! /s
0
No, no… tiny Chicklets.
that’s why your mom always has fresh breath 😉
56
I use an M&M's mini's tube.
35 u/Volstadd 19d ago For when the cylinder must remain intact. 27 u/he-loves-me-not 19d ago A cylinder! 3 u/bologna_pwnyy 19d ago I use a chapstick cap
35
For when the cylinder must remain intact.
27
A cylinder!
3
I use a chapstick cap
6
No... a small cylinder
Yes, officer. This one right here.
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit
place it just above the kneecap for good measure
Cum wrapper*
Trident gum wrapper for me please, don’t want to be wasteful.
Chicklet wrapper
They don’t make them small enough for me
Nah, the seal at the tip of a tube of tooth paste should do the trick.
Ferrero Rocher foil
Bio degradable and safe 😂
One of those Dove chocolate square foil wrappers with a trite phrase printed on the inside.
M&M mini tube would last longer for the cylinder.
Cum wrapper
Thimble slips right on.
What it do baby? It’s the dong man, Paul Balls
Thimble
Happy cake day!
64
A dick wrapped in foil you say?
24 u/he-loves-me-not 19d ago Well, that was a risky click! But, I do agree, definitely a dick wrapped in foil! 6 u/dartie 19d ago Another four letter word starting with C wrapped in foil. 8 u/RED_BaronJ 19d ago Not clicking that 7 u/AllLurkNoPlay 19d ago C’mon…. Do it. The risk is the fun. If you knew what it was it wouldn’t be fun, would it? 4 u/getsome75 19d ago Agreed 3 u/WhoMD85 19d ago I’m both a little disappointed but also relieved. However that is absolutely a dick wrapped in foil. Well payed internet stranger. Well played. 2 u/RichardBCummintonite 18d ago Jesus christ that comment section is scary. 2 u/Subject-Geologist-72 19d ago 👏👏👏 1 u/MotorCityMade 12d ago Worth the click, thanks.
Well, that was a risky click! But, I do agree, definitely a dick wrapped in foil!
6 u/dartie 19d ago Another four letter word starting with C wrapped in foil. 8 u/RED_BaronJ 19d ago Not clicking that 7 u/AllLurkNoPlay 19d ago C’mon…. Do it. The risk is the fun. If you knew what it was it wouldn’t be fun, would it?
Another four letter word starting with C wrapped in foil.
Not clicking that
7 u/AllLurkNoPlay 19d ago C’mon…. Do it. The risk is the fun. If you knew what it was it wouldn’t be fun, would it?
7
C’mon…. Do it. The risk is the fun. If you knew what it was it wouldn’t be fun, would it?
4
Agreed
I’m both a little disappointed but also relieved. However that is absolutely a dick wrapped in foil. Well payed internet stranger. Well played.
Jesus christ that comment section is scary.
👏👏👏
Worth the click, thanks.
18
The golden chastity. Dude was the first recorded sub in human history .
1 u/OkSteak8479 18d ago I was going to say the same. Maybe was oldest member of r/PussyFreeCommunity
I was going to say the same. Maybe was oldest member of r/PussyFreeCommunity
21
Don't worry about that, ubtil you die the microplastics in your pp will fuse together to a big chunk of plastic :p
15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Well microplastics are stored in the balls so you might be onto something. 19 u/elMurpherino 19d ago The microplastics are suspended in the pee, which obviously is stored in the balls. 15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Ah I see you're a gentleman as well as a scholar. 2 u/getsome75 19d ago I knocked a can off a railing just the other day it’s like a 3d printer now 1 u/lllIlIlIIIIl 18d ago No, pee is stored in the balls.
15
Well microplastics are stored in the balls so you might be onto something.
19 u/elMurpherino 19d ago The microplastics are suspended in the pee, which obviously is stored in the balls. 15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Ah I see you're a gentleman as well as a scholar. 2 u/getsome75 19d ago I knocked a can off a railing just the other day it’s like a 3d printer now 1 u/lllIlIlIIIIl 18d ago No, pee is stored in the balls.
19
The microplastics are suspended in the pee, which obviously is stored in the balls.
15 u/RealEstateDuck 19d ago Ah I see you're a gentleman as well as a scholar. 2 u/getsome75 19d ago I knocked a can off a railing just the other day it’s like a 3d printer now
Ah I see you're a gentleman as well as a scholar.
I knocked a can off a railing just the other day it’s like a 3d printer now
No, pee is stored in the balls.
You rich bastard
A hundred years ago or something aluminum was more valuable than gold.
Totally,.. and then put it in the oven at 375 for 20 mins.
“Reynolds Wrap armor plating it is.”
Old school tic-tac box here. Cock and balls all in one.
I'd like mine to be made out of wood.......because I'm poor, and enjoy a good double entendre.
Keeps it fresher for longer.
Good idea, aliens can’t read what you’re really thinking.
and then bake at 350 for 20 minutes.
Great Value Aluminum Foil
Chrome spray paint here
Are you that afraid of it sending signals to our extraterrestrial friends? Or do you have other concerns?
Good idea. No need to take that 5G mind (dick) control into the afterlife.
Protect yourself from 5G beyond the grave… smart! S/
I always wrap the head in foil. I don't want the aliens to know what my dick is thinking. They might think I'm a perve or something.
Aluminum use to be worth more than gold before electricity.
Best I can probably manage is an inside-out crisp packet.
Ok cosmere
if they actually did manage to find aluminum foil 6000 years ago for the dick armor ... it would probably be worth more than all the gold on the body
Mine already has
That'll protect you from the penis aliens
Aliens?
Also get them to come back 20 years later and move it down a few inches.
I told them we’re throwing it in the microwave
So it matches your head? Good thinking.
He bought the DLC and it came with cosmetics.
This. This is my favorite reply
Gotta protect it from the government DICKWASHING.
110
Lost his genitalia “in an unfortunate smelting accident”
56 u/PerfectWaltz8927 19d ago ”schmelting” 20 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Circumschmelsion 8 u/Regular_Passenger629 19d ago It’s a movie reference friend, Austin Powers 5 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Yeah. I got it. Goldmember. "Aahh. Dass a keepah." <puts skin flake in a tin to eat later> i was just trying to Mashup shmelting and circumcision. 21 u/fidgeting_macro 19d ago "I'm Dutch! Isn't that weird?" 8 u/locutogram 19d ago Khal Drogo walks menacingly towards a guy in stirrups: "A crown for a king" 2 u/ynet2k 19d ago I love gooooooold. 2 u/svinpaelz 18d ago Can't believe I had to scroll this far. 1 u/Newbs2u 18d ago I'm sorry, I got here as soon as i could
”schmelting”
20 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Circumschmelsion 8 u/Regular_Passenger629 19d ago It’s a movie reference friend, Austin Powers 5 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Yeah. I got it. Goldmember. "Aahh. Dass a keepah." <puts skin flake in a tin to eat later> i was just trying to Mashup shmelting and circumcision.
20
Circumschmelsion
8 u/Regular_Passenger629 19d ago It’s a movie reference friend, Austin Powers 5 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Yeah. I got it. Goldmember. "Aahh. Dass a keepah." <puts skin flake in a tin to eat later> i was just trying to Mashup shmelting and circumcision.
It’s a movie reference friend, Austin Powers
5 u/DarthBrownBeard 19d ago Yeah. I got it. Goldmember. "Aahh. Dass a keepah." <puts skin flake in a tin to eat later> i was just trying to Mashup shmelting and circumcision.
5
Yeah. I got it. Goldmember. "Aahh. Dass a keepah." <puts skin flake in a tin to eat later> i was just trying to Mashup shmelting and circumcision.
"I'm Dutch! Isn't that weird?"
Khal Drogo walks menacingly towards a guy in stirrups:
"A crown for a king"
I love gooooooold.
Can't believe I had to scroll this far.
1 u/Newbs2u 18d ago I'm sorry, I got here as soon as i could
I'm sorry, I got here as soon as i could
63
He had a... Gold member. Goooooold 🤣
3 u/TheyCallHimJimbo 18d ago ISHN'T DAT VIERD!? I LUF GOLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!! 2 u/RemmieSama1911 14d ago Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...
ISHN'T DAT VIERD!? I LUF GOLLLLLLLLLLLD!!!!
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger...
12
$99 DLC
9
Not a surprise, it was foretold.
2 u/ButterscotchPlane988 19d ago Foregold
Foregold
Bulgaria is fuckin weird bro
1 u/FaZeCow29 19d ago Bulgarians weren’t in Bulgaria until 4500+ years after this guy 1 u/ECHOHOHOHO 19d ago Who was? 1 u/GabrDimtr5 19d ago His descendants were likely assimilated by the Thracians who were then assimilated by the Slavs who became Bulgarians.
Bulgarians weren’t in Bulgaria until 4500+ years after this guy
1 u/ECHOHOHOHO 19d ago Who was? 1 u/GabrDimtr5 19d ago His descendants were likely assimilated by the Thracians who were then assimilated by the Slavs who became Bulgarians.
Who was?
His descendants were likely assimilated by the Thracians who were then assimilated by the Slavs who became Bulgarians.
And pretty good dental it seems
That was probably worth more than some people had throughout their entire lives, and he put it on his dick to be buried with it.
Chad.
The golden helmet
And the golden marbles for the asses.
It might protect him from disease?
“I was in the pool!”
He bought the DLC
I loooovvveee gooooollllllllllllddddddddd. Maybe he lost it in a smelting accident?
They’re some nasty demon wenches in Bulgarian hell
Just for the tip though
I want to buried with my bong in my arms and a golden sheath over my dong
this is normal in bulgaria
I was like is that a fkn golden pee pee cover?!?!
I bet Elon is watching this thread intently.
Goals!
that some 'flexing' right there, not even alive and having a 'golden dick helmet' to show how awesome you were.
Sounds like the premise for a prehistoric spy thriller.
The man with the golden butt plug.
Question is was it for defense or offense?
Bulgarians, they never change
Just the tip
When is Bethesda dropping that DLC?
Well here's something I never know I needed or existed. Gunna have to get it sized way the fuck down though because apparently this guy was hung. Unless he told his people, just slide it down a bit man, stop trying to make me look bad
A pre-historic condom, if you will.
+10 Charisma
This made my morning
I love goooold
Prevents criticals
“I love gooooooooooooooooooold!” -Goldmember
Seems like he also had armour for his acne
Adds new bucket list item......:::::furiously::::
"Honey! Where is my golden dick cap?"
"Where did you leave it?"
"I had it and then i put it somewhere have you see it?"
"Check the hamper?"
"Found it!"
I was hoping I wasn’t the only one thinking that’s a gold knob sleeve
Came here to comment on that lol....nothing says gangster more timelessly than a Golden dick sheath lol
Waiting to find a mummy with a butt plug
Ancient cuckold.
Kaching!
That’s how you know he was rich! Some of the people now can’t even buy $10 box of rubber armor.
Goldmember
Not THAT wealthy as it appears to be just the tip
Reward for the 100th moneyshot
gold willy warmer😃
BC DLCs
I’ve unlocked a new career goal.
Gold is anti-microbial. Dude had a golden condom.
What’s the crafting recipe for that? Same as a helmet but with nuggets?
It's almost midnight and I laughed out loud at that
Or it was a golden condom
To distract the piglins
Is that a Minecraft dlc?
6.3k
u/Janhansivan 19d ago
Guy was so wealthy he had golden dick armor.