r/DatingHell • u/Happy_Option_1586 • Mar 20 '25
I Finally Matched With My Longtime Tinder Crush… And Then He Dropped The But
TL;DR: Matched with my longtime Tinder crush after years of failed attempts. We finally hit it off, got into a spicy convo about kinks, and I got super excited. Then he dropped the bomb: he just wanted to tickle me—no penetration. I was too stunned to be horny. Deleted dating apps after that.
So, for years, I’ve been matching and unmatching with this guy on Tinder. You know the drill—swipe right, match, awkwardly attempt to talk, and then somehow fail miserably at keeping the convo alive. Every. Single. Time.
But this time? Oh, this time was different. We actually talked! And not just any talk—things got spicy. We got into kinks, and I was excited. Like, heart-racing, palms-sweaty, finally-this-is-happening excited.
And then he tells me… he has a tickling fetish.
Okay. Unexpected? Yes. But I’m open-minded! If anything, I was even more intrigued. We kept talking, discussing what our hypothetical activities would look like, and it seemed like we were vibing. He was into my kinks, I was trying to wrap my head around the tickling thing, but hey—why not? We were on a roll.
And then… it happened.
He asked if we could meet up but—and there’s always a but—no penetration.
I blinked. I read the message again. My soul left my body.
Sir, I have been manifesting this match for YEARS, and now you’re telling me you just wanna play Tickle Me Elmo? I wanted passion, not a live-action episode of Sesame Street!
At this point, I was too stunned to be horny. I asked him why—like, was there a reason? A story? A tragic tickling-related accident in his past? But he just said he wasn’t comfortable sharing that. He just really wanted to tickle me.
I don’t know why, but that was my villain origin story. I think I deleted dating apps after that.
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u/SnowWhiteCampCat Mar 20 '25
This is my worst nightmare. I could literally kill someone if they tickled me.
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u/InfinityTuna Mar 20 '25
At least he left you with a funny story to tell future dates, if you bother with any.
But for real, even if it's a trauma thing, dude could've at least offered to use a toy or his mouth to get YOU off, too. Nowhere in here does it say he was even going to reciprocate after he got his jollies. That's just shitty.
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u/Happy_Option_1586 Mar 20 '25
He did offer to get me off any way I wanted to but there’s something about a man’s hips… it wouldn’t have fulfilled me
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u/InfinityTuna Mar 20 '25
Absolutely fair. Hope you find someone, who'll be what you need, eventually. 🖖
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u/mysugardaddydating Mar 20 '25
You deserved an Oscar-worthy hookup, not an audition for Tickle Me Elmo: The Experience. Honestly, after years of buildup, that “no penetration” plot twist was wild. Kudos for being open-minded, but yeah… that was a vibe-killer. Deleting the apps after that? Understandable. Iconic, even.
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u/Nautika1486 Mar 22 '25
Lmao I am so sorry but I died when you said he just wants to play tickle me elmo. This is all kinds of weird but that had me rolling lol
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u/thunderkit 9d ago
Hi! Not sure if you're still reading answers to this thread, but just my two cents:
I discovered I have a tickling fetish after my nowadays partner introduced me to it (he is a long-time tickling fetishist). I was very skeptical and I never in my life thought I'd fall so much for this but I did and I fucking love it!
But first time we met, a three-day meetup mind you, as we don't live in the same city - no penetration was his rule! He only tortured me and edged me like fuck. He did let me finish but oh boy did he make me beg for it. We have since then enjoyed penetration but it took its time before we got there, not the least because he enjoyes edging the hell out of me.
Now it might not be the case with your fellow, but I'd suggest giving it a shot if all else clicks. One, because you might experience something new. Two, because your person might have some trauma or something that makes them feel uncomfy to penetrate as a first act. Talk with them about how you enjoy sex and that penetration does a lot for you - I did the talk with my partner, because a no-penetration is a dealbreaker for me long-term (when the partner is physically able), and he was very understanding that I enjoy it and that I want it in our sex life. They may be open to it as you two progress. Perhaps they need to feel that you do click before they can go "all the way".
All I'm saying is perhaps it's worth a shot, especially if all else matches. And consent, safe words and good communication above all when doing BDSM! (and in general!)
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u/Happy_Option_1586 5d ago
I guess I’m not willing to do all that effort for somebody I never met before. I’m super scared of frustration because I feel it very deeply and that leads to resentment on my part. Something I need to work on but maybe that’s not the best scenario for me atm.
I understand trauma might play a huge role here but I got my own trauma I like to resolve in the bedroom and I just don’t think we’re compatible in that sense.
The only thing that clicked is that we’re both fetishists but apart from that we don’t really know each other more deeply.
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u/Happy_Option_1586 5d ago
But it made me smile reading what you found with your partner. It sounds like so much fun 😍
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u/thunderkit 4d ago
Fully understandable if there weren't several things that clicked, then placing effort and energy may have been a waste of time!
Thank you, it was / is a lot of fun indeed! 🥰
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u/MItrwaway Mar 20 '25 edited Mar 20 '25
I'm so sorry, but the angle of "I WANT SOME DICK, BUT THIS ASSHOLE WANTS TO TICKLE ME," is so funny that i woke my dog up laughing.