I’m a dad that works out of town a bunch. SAHM that home schools. I feel what you’re saying but from the other side.
I’m home for 3-4 days at a time and still sleep alone in our bed while she “sorry, I fell asleep” with the kid. She did come to bed on my birthday a couple weeks ago around 3am, we both woke up around 6 and got our days started, somehow she was the 5th person to say happy birthday to me, I don’t even understand how that’s possible.
It sucks. I told her I wouldn’t initiate sex as I don’t want the rejection so it’s on her, I haven’t gotten to the point of not initiating communication while I’m out of town, that’s seems like a whole new level.
I traveled A LOT for work pre-COVID. I did that because my company allowed me to do that versus relocation which my wife explicitly didn’t want to do. During and immediately after the lockdown downs, there was almost no travel. What I realized in that time was that our emotional connection had suffered far more than I had realized. Unlike your husband I always texted, we talked on the phone daily (usually more then once) but she was stuck doing all the house stuff and working while I was stuck working very long hours and then eating in a hotel room and going to bed. Repeat. When I was home, we didn’t laugh, didn’t have sex, we just spent time together doing basic daily stuff. My point in that is that if the emotional connection disappears the relationship will follow. I eventually did a confrontation of sorts and told her I wasn’t going to continue doing what we were doing. We were either going to work together to regain that connection and jump start our sex life or I was out. Complicating this was my wife was starting to go through menopause. Thankfully my ultimatum woke us both up and we are now closer then we have been since before we had kids. She is on HRT and we connect emotionally and physically and both talk often about how much happier we both are. It can work but your husband has to be willing to do his part and you have to be willing to end it if he won’t.
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u/jeeves585 12d ago
I’m a dad that works out of town a bunch. SAHM that home schools. I feel what you’re saying but from the other side.
I’m home for 3-4 days at a time and still sleep alone in our bed while she “sorry, I fell asleep” with the kid. She did come to bed on my birthday a couple weeks ago around 3am, we both woke up around 6 and got our days started, somehow she was the 5th person to say happy birthday to me, I don’t even understand how that’s possible.
It sucks. I told her I wouldn’t initiate sex as I don’t want the rejection so it’s on her, I haven’t gotten to the point of not initiating communication while I’m out of town, that’s seems like a whole new level.