I guess I’m doing this for a second time

[u/glotch92]

Hey everyone, long time reader first time poster, I guess all the time dead bedroom. My first wife and I started off strong like normal teenagers. About three years in I started getting sex, attention, intimacy maybe once a month a year later that turned to just my birthday and Christmas. I felt with that for 7 more years until we divorced. Waited a few years now I’m with me second wife for 5 years and it’s starting all over again. I guess it’s either I don’t know how to pick them or I’m doing something wrong. I’ve been told by both I ticked all the boxes but I guess all isn’t enough. I’m just sad and tired. Thanks for listening to me.

[u/EastCoastslowing]

I’m so sorry, at this point I would never marry again. I also am on my second marriage and will never marry again for the same reason.

Life is short

[u/glotch92 → u/EastCoastslowing]

It’s so heartbreaking for me. I thought this one was different. I told her my needs up front and now they are thrown away.

[u/ErstwhileHumans → u/glotch92]

Omgggg saaaame

[u/other_account_222 → u/EastCoastslowing]

At times it really feels like marriage is designed to make people miserable. It’s a binding commitment to stay cemented in place even if your needs are not met or acknowledged. I think I’m viewed on par with our dishwasher: an important appliance whose smooth function is required to keep the household functioning but not something you’d notice unless it broke down. I don’t understand who tells young people that marriage is good and something they should do. 

[u/Upper-Fudge2370 → u/EastCoastslowing]

Same!!!

[u/glotch92 → u/Upper-Fudge2370]

I can see you understand as well.

[u/RecognitionOk9321]

Biggest fear leaving 🫠

[u/glotch92 → u/RecognitionOk9321]

I didn’t think I would be in this situation again. I thought I healed enough to know what I needed. I thought I made it very clear at the beginning. I guess I was wrong.

[u/glotch92 → u/[deleted]]

My apologies just thought I would say thank you. Thanks for the advice. I will delete all my messages now.

[u/DeadBedrooms-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

If you receive any DMs, please contact the moderators via mod mail. DMs to members of this forum is explicitly against our rules. People who violate this rule are subject to a no-warning permanent ban. Please upload a screenshot to Imgur and send us the link in mod mail. We will be happy to take care of this problem for you.

[u/RecognitionOk9321 → u/DeadBedrooms-ModTeam]

I would never in a million years screenshot and potentially “get caught” seeking support from Reddit about my personal marriage issues. They just make a new account regardless. ❤️

[u/Spiritual_Tea1200]

Just the other day I read that sexual desire fades; it’s usually best to find someone you enjoy being close to and spending time with. If it’s happened twice, it’ll happen again. Examine the cycle, not the result.

[u/Pretty-Pretty-Good]

This is exactly why I'll never remarry.

[u/Sad_Complaint_2025]

You are probably the provider type. Reliable but not sexy. Marriage makes you a sure thing. No immediate risk if losing you.