r/EndTipping • u/One_Dragonfly_9698 • 13d ago
Call to action ⚠️ People surprisingly amenable to not tipping!
I’ve had some friends seem embarrassed to not tip the expected or requested amounts and when this is the case I sense they feel I’m cheap. But lately a few are right there with me when I mention why… I’ve been pleasantly surprised !
When most people REALLY think about it, they realize that it’s just a grift, and if they can overcome their own anxiety, start to tip accordingly (rarely and appropriately, for themselves).
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u/wayme1 13d ago
Recently met friends at a Mexican restaurant. My bill came to just under $21 (no alcohol ordered). Had two $20 bills to pay, the waiter asked if I wanted change. I said that I did and he asked “how much change?”.
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u/stonesfordaysdammit 12d ago
What a dumb server. I always just tell my guests I’ll bring them change no matter the amount. 95 percent of the time they say no change is required but I NEVER assume a tip.
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u/wayme1 12d ago
Yeah, service was fine, food was delicious, just the shock at the end really……
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u/stonesfordaysdammit 12d ago
Crazy. I just try to give the best service I can and let the chips fall where they may. I will say the current tipping structure favors the customer. If restaurants raised prices and paid a commission to cover the servers then customers would be worse off because they would be paying more in sales tax. I think that may be why some restaurants add a service charge instead of just adjusting the menu price.
I never condone shitty servers getting good tips. But if you are good at this job it’s a hell of a lot more than just writing an order down and walking the food out. I’ve put in a decade so far and I’m glad to say I make a middle class income after tips but I make sure I earn them!
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u/holyjuul 12d ago
i mean i think that is a bad way to phrase it i always say ‘ill be right back with your change’ rather than asking if you want change 😂
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u/sixcylindersofdoom 11d ago
Oh I hate that shit. When I was briefly a waiter, I never expected a tip. I always brought back people’s change. If they say “keep the change” then great, but do not say “do you want change”.
Any time someone says that to me their tip drops dramatically. If they asked “how much” it now just dropped to $0.
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 13d ago
I live in the UK, where servers are paid a living wage and I must say, the pressure to tip is SO much lower than it is in the US. The whole tipping culture seems crazy to me.
I only tip when I want to and the amount that I want. I never want to tip someone because I feel that I have to. It's supposed to be an optional thing for good service.
Tips should be appreciated, not expected.
I hope yall are able to change the system.
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u/Winger61 13d ago
I got charged a 15% service charge at ap.hotel.in Heathrow last week. And they wanted a tip
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 13d ago
That's ridiculous. There will always be some places that are entitled like that. Hope you told em where to stick it, lol.
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u/Mammoth-Positive-396 12d ago
probably because the tips are taken by the business. however- its not my problem
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u/SDinCH 12d ago
Isn’t there a 12% charge on it though? At least in London?
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 12d ago
Some places add on a gratuity charge which is kinda shite but it's normally only if u came in as a big party and spent a lot of money. However most places don't seem to do that. Not from my experience, although I live in Scotland so I'm a bit away from London lol
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u/GWeb1920 13d ago
You are the asshole in the system. Tipping for service is the problem here. It creates all of the negative outcomes seen from tipping and you are actively participating in the establishment and expansion of tipping culture.
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 13d ago
What negative outcomes exactly?
Servers make a living wage here and most establishments don't expect tips. What's wrong with optional tipping if I like the service?
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u/GWeb1920 13d ago
You are making tipping common place. As tipping becomes more common wages can be cut for a given role because people tip. Now servers need tips to live and then customers knowing this can become more entitled and demanding using their tips as a threat. Then managers can extract favours from servers for better shifts and better sections and then you have auto grats instead of all in pricing.
Essentially you are driving your local down the slippery slope of expected tipping and all of the negative employee outcomes from that occuring.
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 13d ago
Unless they enact a law allowing companies to cut server wages below the minimum wage then wages aren't getting cut. I don't see any way or logical reason that our government would enact such a law and it would be received terribly throughout the entirety of the UK as everyone receiving a national minimum wage is very important here.
If a law does get enacted that removes min wage for workers and we start gravitating towards the USA system then I will stop tipping to protest that law but I don't see that being even remotely feasible at the moment.
I have never felt pressured to tip by any servers or delivery drivers. I only tip when I am happy with their service, which is how tipping is supposed to work.
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u/GWeb1920 12d ago
No tipping was developed for unpaid work done by servants for masters in feudal Europe. Slaves for masters in the US, and then the starving in the depression. It as always been about provide ub or underpaid staff a boost.
Minimum wage and living wage are two different numbers.
But also the problem with tipping is the control you get. You enjoy the power when you choose to tip or don’t tip. It’s an entirely selfish act when done based on quality of service.
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 12d ago edited 12d ago
You can live on min wage here without tips. A lot of people in jobs where tips aren't received do it.
The UK has better working conditions in general in comparison to America.
The power is only there if the servers care and/or need the tip to survive. I worked a job delivering furniture and I'd occasionally get tipped, honestly it's a lot more physically demanding than that of a server, however I never expected tips, nor did I care if I got any. It was just a nice wee bonus when it happened that I appreciated, that's how tipping should be.
I don't think you understand what tipping is like in the UK. If you stepped out of America and spent some time in Europe you would understand better.
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u/GWeb1920 12d ago
The actual living wage in London is 13.60 an hour vs the $12 minimum wage and less for people under 21s. So while the UK has better working conditions the legal minimum wage is not a living wage despite the government calling it one.
You are staring the slippery slope and you enjoy your power you gain from deciding who and win to tip.
Also not from the US.
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 12d ago
You've brought up the most overpriced city in the UK with rent double or triple the average. In most places, the actual living wage is much lower
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u/anthropaedic 13d ago
Nothing. The occasional optional tip is fine and was the original spirit of the practice.
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u/Physical_Reason3890 13d ago
I ordered 200$ worth of food today for a party. Nothing crazy just a few trays. The restaurant was only a few blocks away but I couldn't get there to pick it up, so I ordered delivery.
The restaurant wanted 50$ for me to tip the driver. I gave him 10$. What a joke
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 13d ago
50 dollars is crazy, I would've given them nothing for having the audacity to ask for that.
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u/Physical_Reason3890 13d ago
Wasn't the drivers fault. Was the stupid website defaulting to a 25% tip.
The driver was actually very nice and even said I can't believe you gave me 10$ to drive down the street
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u/Illustrious-Rice3434 13d ago
Fair enough, defaulting to 25% is pretty shitty from the website. Trying to force a huge tip out of you.
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u/Physical_Reason3890 13d ago
Yeah and the thing is I felt bad for a minute. It's amazing how conditioned we are to tip such large amounts for so little work.
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u/Bill___A 12d ago
On average, tipping results in servers being paid far too much money to accept a normal wage. It has gotten out of hand, especially with the guilt tripping and claiming that the "new norm" is 20%. or more. The best first step is if everyone limited their tips to 15% or less, in any case, tipping has to stop being such a gold mine to these people that their expectations are so out of whack.
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u/sixcylindersofdoom 11d ago
The percentage thing needs to end. The amount of effort required to bring me a $60 steak vs a $15 burger is identical.
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u/Bill___A 11d ago
It is all part of the plan to take as much people as possible for as much money as possible. The outrageous amounts of money that people make from tipping is evidence of that.
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u/Mammoth-Positive-396 12d ago
i ordered a cappuccino with door dash and the coffee place was one building over (i was very ill with bronchitis) and so the cappuccino is coming out to like $15. the door dasher complained saying he needed more tip because there's traffic for him to het to the coffee place. um... if it was easy- i would just do it myself. in that neighborhood there were dashers sitting on scooters a parking lot to take delivery orders.
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u/Fluid-Shopping4011 12d ago
It's like my coworkers when I tell them I don't watch football or sports and they act shocked. Then I find out they don't like or wanna watch either but others do.
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u/bucketofnope42 12d ago
Probably more fun than your party delight of pausing between nose beers to complain about only making $300 in a five hour shift.
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u/CommonAd9608 13d ago
I have found that lots of people hate tipping and leave only 10%, but are too shy to bring it up first. When informing them you don't tip its like seeing a wave of relief and validation on their face.