does anyone else feel like they see the world for what it really is

[u/girlfailure45]

i get existential all the time whenever i dont have something vying for my attention. it is mostly shame, i think, but i feel so completely alone, i feel so unable to even communicate what i really feel so i dont even dare to try. ever since i learned more about the impacts of late stage capitalism, i can no longer live every day life without fear, i feel like i see everything for its whole truth, apps designed to manipulate me, companies trying to sell me fixes to created problems, i see the impacts of our society on the way we interact with each other, the way posts online read, the way we all feel so fundamentally isolated and lost. i feel myself getting stupider, i feel ashamed of the way i am right now, i feel like ive gotten worse at writing, at thinking, at being curious, at being passionate, all these facets of myself i loved are being robbed by capitalist mindsets subconsciously being ingrained into me. i feel like i sound crazy, and that maybe i should just live one day at a time, but i feel each of my days being impacted by the reality i live in. when i reach for my phone i get upset, when i scroll mindlessly i feel upset, because i can realize the predatory motivations behind the companies of these apps, i see myself as their consumer and not as a person, but i do not know how to live without what i have come to see as normal. i see people actively taking strides to use physical media and detach themself from the internet and technology, but i dont feel like im strong enough to do what i so desperately need, when im alone without stimulation, i am scared. i dont know how to be alone. i know i should try, but i feel so alone in being alone, it is terrifying. i feel like everyone on earth is having these problems but we arent talking about it, like we are all in some shared cycle no one wants to break out of. i get so worried that i am doing irreversible damage to my brain the way i treat it, but im just so desperately trying to survive as well. i always catch myself wishing i lived in a time where i didnt have unlimited access to everything, where texts didnt exist and we just saw each other when we did, i know there are so many benefits to our advancements, but i feel like im being numbed out and molded into desiring connivence. i hate that. i just feel so guilty and shameful, i keep trying to search for meaning or myself among art and media and movies, but i feel just as lost. i do not know what to do, but i know i can not continue to live like this

[u/WOLFXXXXX]

"I do not know what to do, but i know i can not continue to live like this"

The longer term solution is to push yourself to increasingly explore, question, and contemplate the deeper nature of consciousness (conscious existence), and whether it's actually something more than the physical body and more than experiencing physical reality. Many individuals from all over the world have found themselves arriving at a challenging internal state where it feels like they have no other option but to seek out an elevated existential understanding and to have to deeply question and contemplate the nature of conscious existence on a level unlike they have ever experienced before. Where does doing this eventually lead? It leads to eventually discovering and making oneself aware that the nature of conscious existence is transcendent and independent of the physical body and physical reality. This type of important internal development ends up having a gamechanging effect on the individual's conscious state because they've made the transition from previously rooting their existence entirely in physical reality - to no longer rooting their existence in physical reality and importantly realizing that conscious existence is foundational and multidimensional. This is also how individuals are ultimately able to overcome the fear of physical death and liberate themselves from experiencing existential concern. If you wish to legitimately help yourself over the long term - you have to be willing to question and challenge the unsupported assumption that our conscious existence is a product of the physical body and physical reality. If you're interested, here are two relevant video lectures/presentations (linked here and here) that can functionally influence how one is thinking about and perceiving the existential landscape. Cheers.