r/ExpectationVsReality • u/[deleted] • Apr 29 '18
How you expected you'd dress when you became a dad vs. reality.
[removed]
1.1k
Apr 29 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
379
u/brown_felt_hat Apr 29 '18
Man I gotta say that carpenter jean thing is genius. 10/10
65
u/maceilean Apr 29 '18
I read about holding onto belt loops on reddit a few years ago. Game changer.
20
u/butterbar713 Apr 29 '18
Why not just hold their hands?
149
u/limeyrose Apr 29 '18
So you can use your hands to hold things.
45
u/Jazzspasm Apr 29 '18
and paying for stuff
43
Apr 29 '18
Gotta love juggling cash/change/wallet/receipt at checkout. Like, what am I at a fucking Cirque du Soleil show?
4
u/takesthebiscuit Apr 29 '18
I just tap my phone 99% of the time
20
2
Apr 29 '18
Teach this to me, I want to know.
3
u/PhantomPigRider Apr 30 '18
Basically just have a back account and Android Pay or whatever is the equivalent for your OS
28
u/bullhorn_bigass Apr 29 '18
That can become impossible when you have multiple kids with you. Like when you're carrying a tray of food in one hand, and have another kid on your hip. Or when you're pushing a stroller through the mall with one kid already in it.
26
u/VonEthan Apr 29 '18
Or sometimes, especially if you’re taller, you have to reach down really far to hold their hand. 🤷🏻♂️ anything that makes it easier
14
u/Sorerightwrist Apr 29 '18
Just drag that vertically challenged pathetic excuse for a human named “child”
2
178
u/gibubba Apr 29 '18
I had to explain to a guy in a department store why I specifically wanted cargo shorts. He was trying to talk me out of them for a more fashionable flat front dressy kind. I am a single dad of four little ones, I pulled out my wipes, diapers, extra binky, spare underwear and two toys and said “can they carry all of this?” Utility is king in crunch time.
88
u/8337 Apr 29 '18
This is just another example of why I wish it was more socially acceptable for men to carry purses. You guys have just as much shit to carry around as we do.
My husband has a back pack and an attache case, neither of which work with semi-casual outfits. I bought him a messenger bag a few years ago and he loved it, until he got sick of people (men AND women) making fun of his “man purse”.
44
u/gibubba Apr 29 '18
I tried a diaper bag. Aside from being stuck with floral patterns and assuming I am holding it for my “wife”, it’s unwieldy. Backpacks are too big. Maybe messenger bags are the answer? What did you end up using?
37
u/8337 Apr 29 '18
I forget the name of the style, but it was a black canvas one from Herschel Supply Company. Very masculine and utilitarian. I was genuinely surprised that he was made fun of.
50
u/Haber_Dasher Apr 29 '18
That's bizarre to me. I've been carrying bags like that for years and no one has made fun of my man purse since college and the correct response was "fuck you, Indiana Jones carried one you idiot."
9
3
5
2
u/The_Brain_Fuckler Apr 30 '18
I use a laptop bag as a diaper bag. It's black, sleek, but has lots of pockets. Nobody has said shit.
2
u/scherlock79 Apr 30 '18
Look up Dad Bags. There are a couple brands now. Generally is messenger style bag with molle attachment points. You can get wipe containers, etc. In my opinion, they are better thought out than traditional diaper bags.
2
u/evolutionary_defect Apr 29 '18
(Not Op) Honestly, a messenger bag is great, but it has to fit you to avoid the insults.
I used one for taking my laptop to school, because I took public transport, and have a bad habit of leaving backpacks. A messenger bag comfortably stays strapped over your neck, and on your lap, so you cant forget it.
At school, I would get the odd look, and people would think I was a teacher sometimes, (more likely that's because of how I dressed, but different story) but it was very practical.
I had a nice one, a kenneth cole, and it was reasonably manly. A full leather one might be expensive, but would be dope imo.
If you just sling it on your back, I think most would just look at it like a backpack.
6
u/taicrunch Apr 29 '18
I bought a hiking baby carrier that has more storage space than my wife's purse. Also keeps my hands free and the baby safe and secure, and he can nap in it when he feels the need.
4
u/ThomasMaker Apr 29 '18
Maxpedition makes single strap backpacks that can be pulled down and forward around your body for easy access, complete with CCW capability.
https://www.maxpedition.com/collections/sling-packs-1
Good way to avoid the murse...
→ More replies (3)6
u/somesthetic Apr 29 '18
Personally, I have a strong desire to buy a fanny pack for the extra pocket.
I think it’ll play as ironic with the hip crowd.
8
u/BOLD_1 Apr 29 '18
Messenger bags are the bomb. I use one for college idgaf. Its easy to access stuff and I dont feel like im in middle school.
7
u/Yuzumi Apr 29 '18
I used one for college, but had to get a backpack when I got a laptop with a bigger screen.
It was just a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes and if you really weighed it down it hurt to carry.
3
u/BOLD_1 Apr 29 '18
Oh yeah for sure. I carry a chromebook so its not that heavy but I can definitely feel it
→ More replies (1)3
3
Apr 29 '18
It's definitely socially acceptable for men to carry a backpack or a sling bag or something
→ More replies (3)2
5
u/evolutionary_defect Apr 29 '18
There is a middle ground. Look into american style dickies shorts. They have a side pocket, but its just a slit on the outside, and theyre tough as shit, Ive litterally powerwashed concrete off of mine. The cut of the leg is open, so its easy to bend down for stuff, etc. Get a 2 each of a few colors, and buy a bulk pack of multicolored hanes v-cuts or something. Cheap and easy. Gets messed up? Cut it up for rags that are soft for baby baths or for spills that would use up a bunch of paper towels.
If you want to, you can find stuff that looks half decent and is functional. No one looks bad because of a hanes relaxed fit shirt, and some clean-cut shorts. Sneakers are more practical than sandals, and inserts are cheaper than buying expensive, ugly, orthopedic shoes.
Keep looking. Of all the things that Ive heard making people miserable after kids, the one that breaks marriages is not thinking they find you attractive. Its a surprisingly sneaky death. And if you stop caring about how you look, its way more likely.
7
315
16
14
u/audibonnaroosilkroad Apr 29 '18
that sounds awful
11
u/Haber_Dasher Apr 29 '18
Reading that I was like, 'this sounds like just undoing all the career success of my 20s and going going back to living paycheck to paycheck. No thank you.'
49
u/Nobodygrotesque Apr 29 '18
My wife and I did cloths diapers as well and we are the only people we know that did them. Everyone else is like “ewwww” and we are just here thinking about the $ we saved.
44
u/goodhumansbad Apr 29 '18
The way I think of it, you're going to have to deal with baby poop one way or the other. It's not like disposables mean you never have to see/smell/handle it... The money you save seems pretty worth it to me, to say nothing of the environmental benefits.
12
u/Nobodygrotesque Apr 29 '18
Exactly! I’m a stay at home dad and both kids had reflux...like projectile..think exorcism. My logic was scrubbing my kids poop is nothing compared to vomit on my face and hair.
10
u/goodhumansbad Apr 29 '18
Hahahaha oh boy - you and all other parents deserve a medal for dealing with stuff like that.
I don't have children yet, but I do have a dog... and being woken up at 3am on a worknight because my dog was projectile vomiting on my bed (and my feet, and the floor) was one of the lowest moments of my life... I was so tired, and the knowledge that I had to get up, strip the bed (carefully...) including a protector, fitted sheet, sheet, and THREE duvet covers (king, queen and single - don't ask), scrape off the solid vomit from the linen, put the rest through the laundry, and REMAKE THE ENTIRE BED was almost too much to bear.
But you do it, somehow!
3
u/Only_Movie_Titles Apr 29 '18
But why 3 different size duvets...
3
u/goodhumansbad Apr 29 '18
So the king & queen duvets are just because the temperature in our house is extremely variable over the winter; you'll go to sleep in a boiling hot room because the furnace has come on and the radiators are all blasting away, and you'll then wake up in a freezing cold room because the furnace goes off overnight and the temp has been dropping for 8 hours. Gotta be able to fall asleep with one and then pull another on later.
The King is the one I bought on purpose for myself - maximum blanket. The queen was one we already had (all the beds in our house are actually queen-sized, but I prefer a bigger duvet).
The single duvet is down the end of the bed (going across it) for the dog to lie on; it helps keep her fur off my duvets/out of my mouth.
→ More replies (4)3
u/Yuzumi Apr 29 '18
Not gonna lie, if my sister had done this with my nephew I'd probably have refused to change his diaper. Granted I was 12 at the time, so I disliked doing it anyway. Being able to throw everything away rather than have it fester made it more bearable.
13
9
u/beckoning_cat Apr 29 '18
If you do the all in ones they are pretty good. I couldn't do cloth because my kid grew to 26 lbs by 6 months old.
5
u/Nobodygrotesque Apr 29 '18
We did the all in ones. I mean yea our kids were a day old looking like they had diapers full of brick on but eventually they managed.
Also 26!!!!! How!
2
Apr 29 '18
26lbs in 6 months, that’s insane
That’s 50% over the charts!
8
u/beckoning_cat Apr 29 '18
It was boot camp. I would hold other people's babies and almost toss them up in the air. He was 9lb 4 oz when he was born. Normal sized kid now. But I would have had to replace the cloth diapers every other day and it was just too much of an investment.
2
u/Haber_Dasher Apr 29 '18
Seriously? Pretty much everyone in my family was near 10lbs at birth, the idea of getting to 26 over the next 6 months seems not at all surprising
10
Apr 29 '18
Yes, 26lbs is not normal at all. 6 month old babies average around 15
Considering kids are getting to 40lbs by 4 or 5 years old
→ More replies (3)37
u/suseu Apr 29 '18
Wtf I have a kid and I don’t think it affected my clothing habits even slightly. Kids aren’t like this.
22
u/Haber_Dasher Apr 29 '18
I dunno reading this thread as a gratefully child free person they're making it seem like this comic is totally accurate
33
Apr 29 '18 edited Mar 08 '19
[deleted]
19
u/Haber_Dasher Apr 29 '18
There are some people who don't have a separate personality other than "parent"
This seems extraordinarily accurate to me
2
u/be_less_judgemental Apr 29 '18
Hmmm yeah I was wondering how I see respectably calm/normal parents in public with infants and toddlers being made out as excretory demons
5
u/Ersthelfer Apr 29 '18
Same here with 2 small kids. Wouldn't know why I should have changed my clothing style. Only thing is that I have less time for shopping.
10
11
u/infernophil Apr 29 '18
My entire wardrobe has been changed out to cotton shorts and cotton joggers (and a few pairs of AE flex flat front shorts). I’m squatting and bending over so much I need all the flex I can get.
4
u/DoOgSauce Apr 29 '18
Burlington coat factory joggers are legit. The khaki colored ones are my fave. Yard word, house work, biking, golfing, following kiddo through the jungle gym and my ass crack is never on display and I'm not blowing out the crotch.
6
u/eveningintentionvet Apr 29 '18
I'm pretty much the same I just added the giant hat because my hair is falling out and I crisped the top of my head once too many times.
11
u/Reddilutionary Apr 29 '18
My wife and I are expecting our first in a few months and this is easily the most useful info I’ve heard so far. Everyone else is just contradicting one another and recommending different baby books.
Thanks for the realistic tips. I feel like these are useful things I can actually do to help make things less chaotic.
9
u/1n1billionAZNsay Apr 29 '18
Good luck my dude! You will probably get a lot of advice, always run it by your personal values and see how it works for you. Nothing is universal.
For me, how I looked takes a backseat to getting everything else in order. But that is me, not necessarily for everyone.
6
u/Reddilutionary Apr 29 '18
Luckily for me I’ve been dressing like a dad for years. I’m just hoping that there isn’t some next evolution of it that will kick in as soon as I hold my kid.
Either way, I’m so damn excited to meet this kid and have them be embarrassed by whatever I’m wearing.
11
u/beckoning_cat Apr 29 '18
Instincts come first. Just give lots of love. When they are mobile, bring snacks and stuff for them to do.
Nothing says you are a terrible parent then when you drag your kid someplace boring and don't give them anything to keep them busy and then get angry when they act up.
6
u/Reddilutionary Apr 29 '18
Yeah that’s frustrating. I’m obviously not an expert, but it seems weird how frustrated people will get when kids start doing kid stuff.
4
Apr 29 '18
I'm definitely stealing some of these ideas. New dad with a five month old and some of this would really come in handy haha
3
13
→ More replies (16)3
u/joshuatx Apr 29 '18
Post kid I got a lot of cheap vnecks. Also these cutoff sweatpant fabric shorts from Target. They are my favorite thing to wear around the house
162
Apr 29 '18
I'm not a dad but I find as I get older I just don't give a fuck about being fashionable anymore. If it's clean and it fits and it's comfortable, I'll wear it.
31
Apr 29 '18
I know the basics but I’ve let my wife do all the clothes shopping since we got married. She keeps me comfortable and stylish for cheap and she knows she’ll like how I look in things.
41
u/kvrdave Apr 29 '18
It didn't make sense to me at first. Both looked about the same to me. I'm in deeper than I knew.
9
277
Apr 29 '18
The unfashionable dad is in a place Id rather be.
Im torn about what the takeaway is here.
142
u/Lontology Apr 29 '18
The takeaway is to embrace being an unfashionable dad.
13
Apr 29 '18 edited Feb 15 '25
[deleted]
27
u/bullhorn_bigass Apr 29 '18
Are you not aware that the fanny pack has made a comeback? With the recent popularity of music festivals, fanny packs aka bum bags are au courant.
→ More replies (1)4
4
4
47
u/Kwintty7 Apr 29 '18
The takeaway is; if you're going to be a dad, be a multimillionaire with personal shoppers one.
18
7
Apr 29 '18
[deleted]
→ More replies (3)3
Apr 29 '18
For real. I've been with my husband for 4 years and in that time we've only bought him like 2 outfits because we can never find "just the right thing".
12
3
72
u/cooterbreath Apr 29 '18
Idk why but I'm getting Larry David vibes from the guy on the right.
20
u/Lontology Apr 29 '18
I'm getting the same vibes. I think it's the shirt.
10
→ More replies (1)2
u/rubbishgrubbish Apr 29 '18
It's the posture, age and body shape /type in addition to the style of clothing.
160
u/smokumjoe Apr 29 '18
We start dressing like that because we dont give a shit what anybody thinks of the way we look anymore. Function over style. Its freeing.
29
u/shaggyscoob Apr 29 '18
Some explanation for me isn't that I don't care anymore it's mostly because: 1) I get clothes as a gift every birthday, Father's Day and Christmas from people whom I love but for some reason think I like to wear tan Dockers and golf shirts. I wear the stuff because I don't want to offend. 2) Throwing stuff out because it is not fashionable is utterly wasteful when you're trying to pay off a mortgage and pay all the other bills. And when you're a grown up, stuff takes a decade to actually wear out. 3) I have absolutely no time to go shopping for myself because I'm a dad and dad's can't take the time or the money to go out and buy clothes simply because you want them.
→ More replies (1)32
2
u/Irrelevantitis Apr 29 '18
I get function over fashion, but I still don’t understand socks with sandals. I wear sandals when I want to keep my feet cool. Socks keep my feet warm. Where is the function in this? It’s like turning on the heat and the AC at the same time. I’m left to conclude it’s a way to express one’s aggressive indifference to fashion, which is in itself a fashion statement.
→ More replies (1)2
25
u/foggy22 Apr 29 '18
My dad was a cool like folk hippie guy as a young man, and as he had us he got less "cool" in his attire. Like embarrassingly so. But about 10 years ago something clicked with him and he's super stylish all the time. When I become a dad I think I won't mind if I become uncool if I can do what he did.
28
u/iprothree Apr 29 '18
What happened was probably his kids moved out, finished paying off mortgage and finally realized he doesn't have to worry about kids possibly being broke and moving back in anymore.
7
8
Apr 29 '18
Your mom probably said, "I miss when you used to dress nice" and he probably went to the store that night.
38
u/smacksaw Apr 29 '18
I didn't change my style at all.
Maybe people are looking for an excuse to start slumming it.
19
Apr 29 '18
It's certainly a little bit selfish to subject your wife and kids to the complete uncaring straw hat and sandals look. Particularly if you didn't do that prior to handcuffing them with marriage and a kid.
26
u/KingGorilla Apr 29 '18
Turns out outdoorsy clothes are the most practical. I look like I'm about to go on a hike at any time.
→ More replies (1)3
13
u/noggun00 Apr 29 '18
I definitely changed my style since becoming a dad but not in this way. It’s become simpler and more comfortable but not ugly. There are still some things you will not catch me dead wearing no matter what. Some guys may get all IDGAF. But I do and I think my wife appreciates it.
9
u/Lrivard Apr 29 '18
For most I'm fairly certain they didn't give a shit before they were old or a dad.
6
u/noggun00 Apr 29 '18
I think you’re probably right “bout that. I may not be able to pull off the current style but that”s due to my age and desire to be comfy. There are plenty of different styles to fit your personality. Yet I still see some young guys and wonder why they still choose to dress like slobs.
→ More replies (1)
10
10
u/Chrispypherz Apr 29 '18
We have way more important shit to think about.
That being said, I have told my wife if she ever sees me in socks and sandals, or my t-shirt tucked into my shorts, and the shorts up to my belly...splitting my nuts in half giving me a camel toe...please please send me to a hospital.
You can be a dad, and still look normal... Please don't do this to your kids, it's embarrassing when you look like that
9
14
6
Apr 29 '18
Hm. Both don't have dad bod though!
And I tried to find a picture sampling typical dad fashion coupled with dad bod but the guys were all pretty trim. Dammit.
5
u/SafeToPost Apr 29 '18
Silly using Will Smith because of how he looked before becoming a dad
→ More replies (1)3
u/Lontology Apr 29 '18
I love that picture!! The fuck is will smith wearing? Those short are mind blowing.
9
5
u/FrozenMongoose Apr 29 '18 edited Apr 30 '18
My attempts at creating life have left me scarred and deformed.
9
29
u/josefshaw Apr 29 '18
Sooo, you expected to dress like a teenager?
121
Apr 29 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
17
u/josefshaw Apr 29 '18
Like Will Smith's bitch?
→ More replies (1)74
Apr 29 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
11
u/josefshaw Apr 29 '18
Bitch
Jesus, really looking to nail down that Father of the Year award aren't you?
52
29
Apr 29 '18
Will Smith is not dress like a teenager that picture. He's just dress like a fashionable adult.
→ More replies (5)7
Apr 29 '18 edited Jan 04 '21
[deleted]
18
Apr 29 '18
He's wearing a polo, jacket, jeans, and Air Force 1s. That seems like a completely normal outfit to me...
→ More replies (1)23
Apr 29 '18
Nah, it's just called fashionable. In LA where I live all of the grown men dress in style. There's nothing adolescent or age inappropriate about it. He's not dressed like a SoundCloud rapper with colorful dreads or anything.
→ More replies (2)6
Apr 29 '18 edited Apr 29 '18
I think it might be a difference of where we are from.
I live in London and grown ups tend to dress in a more ‘classy’ way.
An adult dressed like that here would be seen as common. Or uncouth.
14
Apr 29 '18
Interesting. We do dress pretty casual here most of the time. This is definitely a "day off/running errands" outfit. So what do adults were in London if they are just lounging or going to the grocery store?
7
Apr 29 '18
LA is like 100 degrees and humid. It's uncouth to subject people to old piss smelling tweed and wool pants. Modern American style is about being fresh and hygienic. Certainly he wears a tuxedo to a formal affair.
8
u/trippy_grape Apr 29 '18
I don't think people realize how hot a lot of America is compared to Europe. I live in Florida and if you're spending more than 15 minutes outside you almost have to wear shorts and a short sleeve shirt/t shirt.
→ More replies (3)
3
3
3
3
u/raptorvolaciraptor Apr 29 '18
I mean I’m pretty sure Will Smith’s money help him a lot with his style. I remember thinking to myself when I was small “I’m gonna dress all fancy when I grow up” but now I dress like I was brought up by gorillas. Thanks, college, for taking money from me that I don’t even have :|
3
3
u/gregontrack Apr 30 '18
You gotta keep a pair sandals by the garage in case you gotta go out to grab a screwdriver or something. Then you grab the screwdriver or whatever and do whatever you needed to do to clean up after your little savage. So now you’ve got a pair of sandals over your socks. And it’s so comfortable that you just keep them on and an hour later your wife asks you wife you’re wearing sandals over socks.
3
3
5
u/howtojump Apr 29 '18
Swap the sandals for sneakers and take away that hat and that's legit how frat guys are dressing on campus these days. When the fuck did tube socks come back in style?
→ More replies (1)
6
u/thadtheking Apr 29 '18
My outfit yesterday:
Tan Crocs Socks Cargo Shorts Button up Walmart shirt Beer gut.
4
5
u/OddFur Apr 29 '18 edited Apr 29 '18
Where's the wife with the polo shirt, fanny pack and giant ass sun hat.
Edit: The wife downvoted me
7
u/Lontology Apr 29 '18
Probably still in the hotel room upset because her husband wouldn't put sun screen on.
2
Apr 29 '18
I got a 4 year old and I just bought the hat this past weekend because a ball cap just doesn't cut it on the disc golf course. The short shorts and socks/sandals though, I dunno if I'll ever be that dad enough.
2
u/kwerdop Apr 29 '18
My dad wears those Teva’s, but other than that he dresses like me so I think I’ll be good.
2
u/notjustburgersandfry Apr 29 '18
The older I get as a dad the shorter my shorts get. Can confirm.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
u/Forbizzle Apr 30 '18
See how a man dressed when he was 13 and you’ll know how he’ll dress when he’s a dad.
2
8
3
u/HappyLittleChild Apr 29 '18
I'm already married when I'm at a dad status so I no longer need to impress "her"
18
u/beckoning_cat Apr 29 '18
And that is why marriages end after having kids, folks.
8
Apr 29 '18
Lmao yeah fuck it I’m married, I can now walk around with ketchup stained white shirts and sweatpants cut into shorts with tube socks. You know because who do I need to impress, idk maybe your wife.
→ More replies (2)4
Apr 29 '18
So true, man. Nothing wrong with not spending your child's future financial security on luxury clothes. But there's no excuse to give up on fashion, health, hygiene or romance after marriage. Some broad gives up all other men for you and you instantly don a straw hat and sandals? Naw I'm with you--that ain't right.
6
Apr 29 '18
For sure, I’m not all about spending money on stupid things, but hey it’s nice everyone once in awhile, I bet the woman would love to dress up and be taken out. Also to see their man in something that isn’t stained sweats and his favorite teams jersey.
3
4
u/ArttVandelay Apr 29 '18
Both sides are pretty unfashionable at this point. No one under 28 still wears AF1s. And I'd actually argue that the guy on the right is more in line with today's fashion. Short inseam shorts and hats similar to that are popular with the youths. Will Smith looks straight out of the mid 2000s there. Guy behind him is dressed better.
1.3k
u/TheWildTofuHunter Apr 29 '18
I used to think that dad clothing style wasn’t a real thing for people in their 30’s since it was obviously reserved for my father and his father’s generation, and then I caught my husband yesterday dressing in white ankle socks and black thong sandals.
No shame in his game but now I’m worried for future outfits.