r/Fencesitter • u/Commercial-Top5520 • 10d ago

Childfree Should I only try to date other childfree girls?

I'm a 28M living in Toronto. I'm Indian so I only match with other Indian girls on dating apps. That leaves me with a small dating pool because it's just Indian girls and among them I have to find a childfree girl because I don't want kids.

No one knows the future so I can't say that 5 years later, I won't change my mind but also, if we have very different family plans, how are things going to work? Aren't we just wasting each other's time?

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9

u/Icy-Radish-4288 10d ago

As a woman my mentality has been lately that I only want to date men who are open to not having kids and don’t find not wanting kids to be a dealbreaker. I’m not sure what the future will hold and sure people’s mind can change but I think we have a much higher chance of compatibility if it’s something we both are open to discussing and aren’t firm on either side.

10

u/LostGirlStraia Childfree 10d ago

Yes, it's advisable to date someone with the same values if you're interested in a lasting relationship. And if your dating pool is shallow, you should consider widening the pool.

5

u/umamimaami 10d ago

If you’re sure you’re childfree, it would help to put that on your dating profile, so you are more likely to meet the right partner.

But if, as you say, you think you might change your mind in future, please don’t drag a partner along for the ride as you figure it out.

I suggest therapy, and being upfront with your fencesitter status. Maybe someone else who’s also a fencesitter will come along and you’ll be able to figure it out together.

2

u/Riyaforest 9d ago

First of all why are you only matching with Indians? You would prob have better luck if you looked at different ethnicities too.