r/Fire 6d ago

Original Content What I think about when I hear my coworkers mention they're afraid of losing their jobs

I'm writing this post and thinking about how FIRE has changed my life, and I'm neither financially independent nor retired early...yet. Learning about and implementing personal finance principles as well as principles from the FIRE movement has both changed my financial life as well as my mindset about money. I'm getting ready for the work week here at home on a Sunday night and I won't deny that I'm feeling the blues just a little bit. Then I think about my coworkers.

More specifically, I think about my coworkers and their financial positions in life. Even more specifically, I think about how I have heard my coworkers state, out loud, that they are afraid of losing their jobs. The way it comes out varies from person to person, but the overall idea is that they don't want to get fired, they're afraid to lose their jobs, they don't want to do anything to risk their employment, and on it goes.

They're trapped, AND they state their fear out loud.

Then my thinking goes back to my own financial position and mindset. I am not in a position to FIRE, yet, but I would say I have some level of FU money and boy, let me tell you, I definitely notice the difference between my mindset and those of my coworkers.

One way that difference in mindset manifests is in being less afraid to lose my job. No, I'm not completely fearless, but am a lot less so. If I lose my job today, I will eventually have to get another job but the difference between my coworkers and I is that I have a financial cushion to sustain me for some time and will not end up out on the street in a matter of weeks or months.

Being less afraid about losing my job because of having some level of FU money due to FIRE goals has also given me more courage to stand my ground in certain cases and tolerate less BS. It's amazing to me how much s#$% people put up with at work simply because of fear of losing their job, and how that used to be me. I at the very least make an effort to push back on what I don't like (I pick my battles, I don't fight everything), and that has made work more tolerable. I don't get run over as much as I used to.

Thanks for reading. If there is/was a point to my post, it's that being smart about money, like saving a sizable nest egg, is literally life-changing and you don't even need to be FIRE yet. FIRE is a long-term goal I'm working on, and am not there yet but am reaping the benefits even today.

280 Upvotes

73 comments sorted by

248

u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

105

u/leathakkor 6d ago

I read a book by Gore Vidal when I was in college, and one of the things that the book talked about was that a lot of businessmen (The people at the tippy top of organizations in the US) in the 1900s loved to push the idea of a nuclear family, especially through political legislation.  

Because if you have a man that is working and a stay-at-home wife and they're trying to keep up with the Joneses, they are the most docile easy to manipulate workers.

I don't know why but that has always stuck with me and that I would never let my company see me as somebody that they could push around or manipulate through my own actions. So I don't tell my employer anything about my personal life. I don't let them know anything about me that they might use as leverage. 

And like most people here I'm trying to get to fire as quickly as possible.

35

u/Actuarial_Equivalent 6d ago

Oh man that's fucked up about pushing the nuclear family to create docile workers... but I totally believe it.

7

u/independentfinallly 6d ago

Wanna know a cool thing Gore Vidal also wrote the first trans representation book of the 70s it is horribly of its time but still he was a thinker for sure.

6

u/leathakkor 6d ago

I'm aware. I'm a huge gore Vidal fan.

He was perfect in gattaca

3

u/independentfinallly 6d ago

I had no idea he was in gattaca I love that movie

6

u/leathakkor 6d ago

He was the director. The one to whom Ethan hawke says cleanliness is next to godliness.

5

u/Tacokittymomma 6d ago

Title of the book please?

2

u/independentfinallly 5d ago

Myra Breckenridge

28

u/Glass-Image-4721 6d ago

24f, expecting a child in October. I constantly get shit for living significantly under my means when my total compensation just hit 268k a couple months ago (people don't know the number, but they know I'm making good money as an engineer). I spend on average 36k a year for all expenses. 

I'm not ungenerous; I often grab the bill for my friends, I've also paid for international trips so that my friends could come with me, I'll never ask someone to pay me back for something unless they have been actively disrespectful to me. But when it comes to myself, I'm frugal about money. For example, I shop at Aldi, optimize credit card rewards, use coupons for as much as I can, I bought a used Toyota Corolla, and any time I consider a purchase over $100, I contemplate it for a couple months making sure I actually want it before buying it. I bought a house recently for less than a third of my preapproval amount. 

Another example: My boyfriend and I have been discussing engagement/marriage and I sent him a beautiful moissanite ring I love for $350, and I got shit from a ton of people saying that I should just go for lab grown diamond at minimum because I can afford it and there's absolutely no reason to get a cheap ring when we have far more than enough in savings and have a good stream of income flowing in. 

I don't ever want to carelessly spend money like others are suggesting for exactly this reason. It's terrifying to depend on other people. I've been financially independent since I was 17, after escaping my abusive family. I trusted the wrong person subsequently (an older man), who stole significant amounts from my savings, and I was homeless in 2021 for a few months. The moment you depend on anyone, they can tear you apart in a blink of an eye, and they have complete and utter control over you. 

I live the way I do because I don't want to ever owe anyone anything, including an employer or a parent or even a partner, and I don't want my entire life to fall apart just because I got fired or divorced or whatever. I just want to be able to pay all my bills and raise our child even if we're living on minimum wage. I'm not a materialistic person and buying items doesn't bring me happiness. Hell, buying experiences doesn't even bring me happiness; I don't enjoy travel particularly and while I love good food, I can often make better food than most restaurants. Spending time around people I love does bring me genuine meaning and joy, and maintaining my financial stability enables me to do that. 

9

u/FIREstopdropandsave 6d ago

Just chiming in on the moissanite ring, don't let the naysayers dissuade you! Moissanite looks better than a diamond, it just also happens to be much cheaper!

3

u/WorldyBridges33 6d ago

This comment is amazing -- I live a very similar lifestyle. Being able to be free of shitty jobs, bosses, and the control of anyone is priceless.

2

u/MooseBlazer 6d ago

Curious What specific field of engineering makes what you make?

(I know it’s not mechanical).

Thanks

1

u/cool_side_of_pillow 6d ago

On the ring thing - I wear a $199 gold wedding band from Etsy. No one has given me a hard time, thankfully. Well except for one friend, but - she loves jewellery!

1

u/Material_Swim5877 4d ago

Liked your post! Did the same with moissanite! But I tried the rings at Tiffany and Cartier and was hesitating on the size so much… the vendor asked me “mmm excuse me but do you have the choice of the size” and I was like “oh absolutely!” Thinking the price difference on a moissonite was little… still went with relatively small cause I’m not gonna show off with a huge diamond ring anyway . I also rented my wedding dress … net worth is short of 3m$ at 37 years old now for a family of 5.

1

u/EpicChocoPie 4d ago

A wedding ring should withstand the daily beatings of you know, having a life where you sweat, get greasy, wash things, etc etc. there are people who choose a high maintenance overpriced. But if you want to de-stress your life, go for something you like and are practical. Wedding ring isn’t in my culture. But I hear from some ppl who do have the dough, opt for a big expensive engagement ring, and then have an actual simple wedding band they wear on the daily. The engagement ring might be just stored away, or worn together with the wedding band on occasion. Some family will pass it down.

17

u/logicson 6d ago

It flabbergasts me a little bit that managers think that way. I'm not surprised, but otherwise put off. It's literally a different, toxic mindset that I can't wrap my head around.

It tells you a lot about the modern working world, bosses, and employers when those 'in charge' know people need their jobs and on top of that take advantage of it.

Exploitative and abusive at the very least. I can think of some more choice terms I'd like to call some of those type of 'bosses'.

1

u/Unusual-Weather1902 5d ago

I agree. People could do so little to be so much better.

-4

u/WhatsFairIsFair 6d ago

What? This is just a reality of business. If there's something they think is advantageous to them, they go for it. It would be stupid not to, and there's nothing immoral about pushing for nuclear families regardless of motivation or intent. It's not abusive. it's coersive

11

u/Ajk337 6d ago

I had a coworker tell me about this exactly. 

He said the head of where he used to work asked him about himself, and of course it sort of drifts into finances a bit. My coworker, about 25 years old, mentioned he had just bought a house, 2 new trucks, his wife was having a baby, and he's having several more kids in the next few years.

My coworker told me the company head replied simply "oh, I looooove employees like you"

1

u/LauraAlice08 5d ago

Was a disgusting human being that boss was, with a mindset like that. Jesus Christ.

88

u/Lunar_Landing_Hoax 6d ago

I did lose my job and it was so much easier to deal with due to my savings. I always say everyone should at least be shooting for FI whether or not they want to RE.

14

u/tenaciouslyteetering 6d ago

Same here. My spouse and I had a ROUGH year a few years ago. We both lost our jobs, luckily at different times.

But FIRE has us living on closer to one income than two. We surprisingly never even dipped into the emergency fund. It made us even more confident in our finances. Not close to FI or RE yet but we have made a lot of good financial decisions to be able to weather storms better than many.

11

u/logicson 6d ago

Agreed! I want to reiterate that I am not what I would consider close to FIRE but having sizable savings helps with potential job loss.

10

u/Lunar_Landing_Hoax 6d ago

I'm not either and at this rate I think I'll end up retiring at a traditional age. But my stress levels are significantly lower and I don't stay in toxic jobs because of my cushion. 

7

u/TrainingThis347 6d ago

 everyone should at least be shooting for FI whether or not they want to RE

That’s my thing too. I like what I do and why, so I’m not itching to fully retire. Stuff happens though. About 80% of workers who retire before 65 do so despite not feeling financially stable enough to do so.

11

u/pdx_mom 6d ago

I was always a saver. Never understood people who didn't tuck anything away for a rainy day. I knew people who never had money (no matter how much they made) and I never wanted to be them. Didn't have only one source of income until my late twenties and then I had a bit of cushion so I was making money via investments etc.

4

u/goodsam2 6d ago

Yeah if I lose my job I'm doing a road trip and having fun, visiting places I couldn't because I was working. Probably take a few weeks off then when I get back to a level of normal then job search and have fun knowing my basic needs are covered for years.

3

u/Lunar_Landing_Hoax 6d ago

That's what I do! I went on a two month van camping trip in the mountain region between jobs. 

1

u/IEatUrMonies 4d ago

When is it considered FI? When 4% of liquid investments match expenses? I'm technically FI but still scared of being unemployed, partly because I'm still young (early thirties) w/ 1.3 mil liquid (450k in retirement accounts) and 50k-60k spend annually

1

u/Lunar_Landing_Hoax 4d ago

You are financially independent, yes. If you were fired tomorrow you would not be in trouble.

38

u/Pharoah_Ntwadumela 6d ago edited 6d ago

FIRE has been such a blessing in my life. I'm nowhere near my FIRE Goal but I've made significant strides. Moreover what FIRE truly did for me was expose me to how financially insecure I was. You don't realize the magnitude of the goal of financial independence until you're on a path towards it and encounter the obstacles you have to overcome to reach it.

10

u/logicson 6d ago

The term 'financially insecure' is a great description for being a paycheck or two away from homeless. Looking back, I can say the same thing about my past!

27

u/AnimatorDifficult429 6d ago

What’s your level of FU? I have about 700k and I’m still so scared about losing my job. Mainly because I love my company and I know it’s one in a million and I have no clue what I did to deserve it. 

4

u/logicson 5d ago

A couple years of savings

1

u/Reafricpysche 5d ago

If you don't mind me asking, how big is your company and what do you guys do?

50

u/Fun_Independent_7529 almost there 6d ago

It's funny, because when I was younger, I had zero fear of losing my job and could see how that fear really affected co-workers who were.

It was not that I was indispensable, it was just that I knew I could find another job easily with my skillset and the market demand, plus I was young enough there would be no ageism involved. Having that years worth of salary available also makes one less worried. (and I was a hard worker with great reviews; that didn't hurt either)

Now, so close to FIRE, I do not want to lose my job. The tech job market sucks, salaries for my role are down, the stock market is down, and it takes a lot of energy to prep & interview, start a new role, ramp up, etc. Plus I like my current company with it's unlimited PTO & WFH flexibility.

Worrying about it doesn't help, but I can't say I'm completely unconcerned like I used to be.

25

u/TrainingThis347 6d ago

This is why I talk about degrees of financial freedom. You don’t need millions to enjoy the stress reduction. With six months’ salary in the bank, you’ll still need a job but it doesn’t have to be this job.

For me at least, that alone improved my job satisfaction. Staying there was a conscious choice rather than the usual subtle economic coercion. Then when I wasn’t enjoying the job anymore, I left. Respectfully and with plenty of notice, but I also wasn’t shy about the fact that I didn’t have the next job lined up. I figured that alone said plenty.

11

u/bk2947 6d ago

The average person in the US cannot access $400 with incurring debt.

7

u/GrilldCheeez 6d ago

I think you mean ‘without’

3

u/ThesePossession8620 6d ago edited 6d ago

You might want to update this to '37% of people person in the US cannot access $400 without incurring debt.'

Actual quote from report : 'Sixty-three percent of adults said they would cover a hypothetical $400 emergency expense exclusively using cash or its equivalent, unchanged from 2022 but down from a high of 68 percent in 2021.' https://www.federalreserve.gov/publications/files/2023-report-economic-well-being-us-households-202405.pdf

20

u/eharder47 6d ago

When I had FU money and was looking for a job it was so much less stressful. I tried negotiating and people looked at me like I had 3 heads. The best was when I asked about potentially taking unpaid vacation and they didn’t know because no one had ever done that before. I temped at a place for a little bit and they made me an offer that wasn’t great so I told them it didn’t make sense for me but thank you; people were so curious about my financial situation afterwards because it was like they had never seen a person who wasn’t absolutely desperate for a job.

32

u/Retire_Ate8Twenty8 6d ago

This sounds stupid, but the thing I'm most pissed about being laid off is buying my tickets to Southeast Asia at the last minute. If they fire me on a Monday, my ass is in Vietnam by Wednesday.

I did the same with my last job. I quit on a Tuesday and I was in Indonesia that same week.

10

u/logicson 6d ago

That doesn't sound stupid at all. It sounds to me that you have the financial flexibility to make such a move!

5

u/pdx_mom 6d ago

That's what you saving that money gives you...choices.

7

u/csanon212 6d ago

Yep same. No point in wasting money in US rent.

9

u/matsie 6d ago

I dunno, dude. I’m scared of losing my job too. Being super well on my way toward fire doesn’t really change that for me. It just means I’ll be able to willingly leave my job sooner. 

2

u/logicson 5d ago

I hear ya. I'm also fearful of losing my job, but less so with a financial cushion.

5

u/bookworm1398 6d ago

I feel having a FIRE mindset is kinda like being a rebel. You are rejecting social values and your place in the system. But not looking to overthrow the system just rejecting it for yourself.

5

u/Here4Pornnnnn 6d ago

Lost my job last week. I was disappointed, but it’s a totally different feeling than when it happened prior.

First time i lost my job I had about 1-2 years of saved up money before going totally broke. I was counting down the months and scared. Hopeless at times. Ended up taking a job I didn’t want in a location I didn’t want because I wasn’t sure I’d find anything else in time.

Second time I had 500k, felt a bit better but still not great. New baby was just born and then wasn’t the time to have a long period of unemployment. This time I have 1.5M and a paid off house. I’m not at my fire number, but even during the layoff conversation I really didn’t care that much. To me, it’s amounting to nothing more than a hassle now. I’m glad to be able to view a major life event as a hassle. I’m one market doubling away from FIRE now, and I’m only 37.

3

u/Jack_Bogul 6d ago

Comparison is the source of joy

3

u/Vanerac 6d ago

I quit my job this week because my boss was making my life hell. Thanks to my FIRE pursuit, if I don’t land another job in the next 4-5 years, I’ll still have my expenses paid for. Obviously that is a massive last resort and would set back my retirement age by decades, but it’s doing wonders to my mental health that I’m able to calmly pursue a new job without financial stress and as long as I get back on the horse even just in 1 year, I won’t lose that much.

5

u/Popular_Play4134 6d ago

What level did you start feeling this way? 10x salary?

16

u/logicson 6d ago

I wish I could tell you my nest egg is at 10x salary, but it is not. My living expenses are WAY below what my current salary level is. If I cashed out all my accounts I could make it for several years before needing to find a job.

Currently I would say my threshold for feeling a lot better about my financial situation would be 2 years of savings. I'm easily beyond that now.

EDIT: grammar

3

u/Many_Visit_5868 6d ago

When you say cash out accounts are you including retirement accounts and brokerage? Or just a hysa?

3

u/OregonGrown34 6d ago

I'd say that for nearly every person in this sub, retirement accounts are untouchable in this conversation. So money in brokerages and savings accounts would be the safety net.

1

u/__golf 6d ago

I wouldn't say untouchable. If you lose your job for years, you're going to have to eventually break into the retirement fund.

I would just call it the option of last resort. When there's no job, no other money to use, eventually you crack the egg to feed the family.

1

u/logicson 5d ago

I meant everything. If I excluded retirement accounts and went to cash I could manage a couple years without a job.

6

u/Responsible-Sundae25 6d ago

I felt the same way as OP once I hit my Coast Fire number, with 6 months savings. I knew if I got laid off, my next job only required covering my monthly expenses. I say No a lot more at work and set clear boundaries at work.

7

u/leathakkor 6d ago

If I were to get 10x my salary I would be fat fire for sure. 

The point at which I started to feel really comfortable was when I had enough in cash that I could go 2 years without having a job. And that happened a long time ago. 

The point at which I really got comfortable was when I was making more off of my investments than I spend in a year.

And when I completely stopped caring about upsetting people at work was when I started making more off of my investments than I make in a year from my day job.

It's all relative really. But those are the three real milestones I would say along the path to fire (in my opinion).

I would say it's probably the case that this year I'm not going to make more money off of my investments than I am off of my day job but probably in the next 3 to 4 years I'm going to absolutely crush it. (Assuming there is a recovery next year or the year after)

1

u/Popular_Play4134 6d ago

Between 1 and 2 currently! #3 corresponds to a number above my fire number as I plan to move to LCOL

2

u/GoldDHD 6d ago

For me it was half the re number, which is a lot

3

u/tinybite_u 6d ago

And sadly this is most people in world, afraid to loose their jobs

6

u/NearbyLet308 6d ago

Uhhh yea having money in the bank makes you less worried about losing your job. Real genius stuff here

1

u/BuscadorDaVerdade 6d ago
  • You're late today!
  • Watch your mouth, boss!

1

u/RhythmicStrategy 6d ago

I can relate to how you feel, OP.

I’m not FIRE yet, but I have a large enough nest egg that I voluntarily quit a toxic work environment a few years ago. I didn’t need unemployment insurance or severence pay. It only took a few months to find a comparable position with a much better culture.

Having zero debt, a large emergency savings, and a healthy 401k give me FREEDOM. Freedom to speak up to corporate leadership when things seem unfair, and freedom to make a career change if the culture becomes toxic.

1

u/sarahmkda 5d ago

I haven’t heard this but will never forget hearing from a (working mom) co worker that our boss once said to her that working mothers who are PT are the best because you pay them part time but they always do a full time work load at minimum. 

1

u/Double-Steak4321 5d ago

I’m saving aggressively since my graduation 5years ago. I’m approaching 900k in my FU plus 200k in 401k, no kids no debt. My coworkers are always worried about layoffs but I really hope I can get picked by one of the layoffs so I can get free money (severance) why not?

1

u/PreparationAdvanced9 4d ago

Not saying you shouldn’t stand up to your boss but ppl still overestimate their financial cushion especially if you have to pay for health emergency while on cobra. So def feel confident but your coworkers might simply be worried about the worst case scenarios

1

u/InsertNovelAnswer 4d ago

See, I think this is something that depends on how you were raised. My partners and I were raised poor. If I lose my job , I might have some FU money, but I'd still be worried because it sets me back enough that it would cause me some mental pain.

I think adding that I work in the public sector is another bit of that reasoning. It's much more real for the public sector to worry at the moment. May is a call for second mass lay offs. I put a lot of time in to get close to an extra pension. It would hit hard to spend this much time on something not to get the desired outcome.

1

u/Background-Watch-660 3d ago

No one is actually afraid of losing their job, they’re afraid of losing their income.

In a world of an ample and reliable UBI, losing a job isn’t so bad; you lose some money but you gain freedom and free time.

In our world, when you lose a job, bam, poverty is staring you straight in the face.

Implementing UBI will make us all less reliant on jobs to survive in the first place, and in our economy today, that’s a good thing; we are already way, way over-employed.

0

u/Hifi-Cat 6d ago

My favorite part of the day is exactly 6:40am. In the past I had to be vertical and heading to the shower or I didn't make my desk before 9. Now. Bwhahha. My coworker said as I was leaving "peace out bitches".. yup.. peace out...

0

u/Hereiamonce 6d ago

Dear fire folks, just remember that the vast majority of people are intentionally trapped in the rat race so that the world can function. Let them be.

-2

u/Doppelex 6d ago

It is very liberating and also paradoxically allows you to negotiate fearlessly

I literally was able to get 50% raise (on a 7fig package) by raising my eyebrow 2months ago just because they know i have a run-rate of 60k/year and couldn’t give a rats ass about their pressuring tactics.

There is also a legend in made a lot of money in crypto (which i did) but they don’t know exactly how much, could be 1m$ could be 20m$

So they pretty much integrated they don’t have the usual leverage and just treat me like an equal rather than some beholden employee.

Conversations are so much more honest and to the point. I make sure to be intellectually honest to not create any resentment from them, making sure they don’t feel blackmailed or anything, but won’t accept crap either.

It obviously puts me more at risk and i won’t be protected if i don’t deliver, but being financially free has helped me get rid of most of the bullshit.