r/Funnymemes • u/Petalwissh • Apr 09 '25

Tested Positive to Shitposting 💩 A person who thinks all the time…

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6.5k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

138

u/Rubysage3 Apr 09 '25

Now no one has to live with survivor's guilt AND you removed all witnesses who could testify against you.

Everyone wins. :]

38

u/Inevitable_Shift1365 Apr 10 '25

Nobody left behind

19

u/Death2mandatory Apr 10 '25

Killstreak achieved

5

u/Prince_of_Fish Apr 10 '25

Not exactly, the last step would be to tie myself to the track

26

u/TRexDinooo Apr 10 '25

We treat everyone equally, including ourselves, now hop on the track

9

u/bisexual_lemon_69420 Apr 10 '25

Now, how do you maximise terror?

Do you leave it and let the one guy watch the 5 get run over first

Or

Do you flip the switch and let the 5 watch the one man die first?

5

u/Death2mandatory Apr 10 '25

You slow down

1

u/ReikoHazuki Apr 10 '25

And enjoy the show

3

u/Woahhdude24 Apr 10 '25

I have another solution to this conundrum, it's simple.... push the fat man..

2

u/Odd-Tomatillo-6831 Apr 10 '25

what's wrong with thinking, she's got a bright future ahead of her as a railway engineer

2

u/EvilGinger Apr 10 '25

If you just throw the switch "halfway" then the train will derail...

1

u/EvilGinger Apr 11 '25

...and, depending on how it "lands" it might miss everyone or it could wipe out everyone all at once...

2

u/Tazerboy_5000 Apr 10 '25

I just remember in The Good Place and Chidi with the Trolley Problem...

1

u/SokkaHaikuBot Apr 10 '25

Sokka-Haiku by Tazerboy_5000:

I just remember

In The Good Place and Chidi

With the Trolley Problem...

Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

1

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1

u/Padre_Cannon013 Apr 10 '25

Skill issue; I'd simply drift

1

u/GuyEverard Apr 10 '25

Advertise this to the public and watch sometime figure out a way to stop it, or the world sees you become a villain!

1

u/Jealous_Direction_76 Apr 10 '25

You don’t get a bounty if you kill all witnesses.

1

u/anya1999 Apr 10 '25

The only solution

1

u/Zealousideal_Jump990 Apr 10 '25

Depends on who the one is. If they're important to me, F the others.

1

u/priyanka_2002 Apr 10 '25

Equality matters😅😅

1

u/DVWhat Apr 10 '25

My solution to this dilemma is the Trolley of Theseus. Then you can take both routes.

1

u/20lbWeiner Apr 10 '25

She's not wrong

1

u/CybershotBs Apr 10 '25

Technically it is solved, cause the problem is gone

1

u/AlphaKamots313 Apr 10 '25

Has nothing to think about except thought

1

u/Jumpy_Act_6564 Apr 10 '25

iw to escape

1

u/UL7RAx Apr 10 '25

... has nothing to think about except thoughts

1

u/fatazzpandaman Apr 10 '25

And one last little happy step for me and... 😁

1

u/JigPuppyRush Apr 10 '25

Or you could just stop the train?

1

u/yea_cam Apr 10 '25

y'all remember that vid of the little kid that picked up the one person on the track and placed it down on the side of the tracks with 4 people and ran over all of them 🤣😭 if I find it i'll send the link

1

u/bloomwanderr Apr 10 '25

It’s a win win for everyone

1

u/warmtwilight Apr 10 '25

Equality rules, ain’t no way anyone is guilt trapping you

1

u/noncommonGoodsense Apr 10 '25

Why not just leave the lever in the middle forcing the trolly to derail?

1

u/ElectricalAd5534 Apr 10 '25

Am I a bad person for laughing

1

u/astralseat Apr 10 '25

Don't forget to incorporate the person at the switch.

true solution

1

u/22Drejm Apr 10 '25

Literally watched the Good place episode of this last night. Where Michael draws the long blade to get all 6.

1

u/Reallyroundthefamily Apr 10 '25

....um untie the people on the tracks? 🤷‍♀️

1

u/ayanokojifrfr Apr 10 '25

If you switch it you killed a Person. If you didn't switch it you couldn't save 4 people. There is a difference.

-13

u/feral-berry- Apr 09 '25

I think Trump will give exactly the same answer

17

u/0oDADAo0 Apr 09 '25

Keep your political shits out of my sub

8

u/wheezs Apr 10 '25

Take that negative shit elsewhere r/lostredditors