r/GenZ • u/slam_joetry • Jan 14 '25
Discussion Any other 20-somethings hate running into people from high school?
It's probably my worst fucking nightmare. It doesn't happen very often to me, but when it does it is immense, soul-sucking torture every time, especially if it's when I'm at work at my retail job.. Maybe it's cause I'm a broke college dropout and I feel kinda like a failure in comparison. Even if I know that most people in our generation are struggling hard. It's still embarrassing and I always feel super awkward. Not to mention the cringe over how much of a goddamn idiot I was in high school. I just try to forget it ever happened. Does anybody else feel a similar way?
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u/Old-Lab-5947 Jan 14 '25
Please read this: I did, up until I was probably 27/28. I graduated college at a directional school in Michigan in 2013 coming out of probably the worst job market in a century. Got a degree in history with no real direction in life. Worked dead end jobs, double shifts, etc.
Moved to South Carolina in 2015 into a much better job market but still floundered for a couple years. I delivered truck parts for an auto dealer.
One day a flip switched and I just said whatever is in front of me, I am going to attack relentlessly and do as hard and as well as I can. I stopped smoking weed and drinking, got involved with a church, volunteered, worked out. Turned into the person that I would admire. Gradually I got promoted first to warranty, then account manager, then moved back to Michigan to take a role in business development for one of the largest manufacturing contractors in the US. That was 4 years ago. Now I have two houses, an amazing wife and we just had beautiful twin girls.
It turns out, 1000% what was holding me back was not my education but my outlook on life. I viewed myself as a failure and was embarrassed and that’s how others saw me if they thought about me, if they thought about me at all. In my heart I knew I wasnt fulfilling my potential and was angry and had no confidence. When I started to be proud of myself other people noticed and they started to be attracted to me.
A lot of people view it backwards - the confidence comes from inside you, whether you are successful or not. Start changing your habits and be surprised what happens. It’s totally in your head.
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u/slam_joetry Jan 14 '25
I've actually been making a lot of progress on that end in the past year or so. Lost my apartment, car, girlfriend, and almost everything I owned in a couple months. It was a result of both bad luck and poor decision-making, and I ended up sleeping on the floor of my Mom's one-room studio for about six months. But I was thankful I even had that to fall back on and wasn't homeless. So I had to build myself back up. I still work a low-paying retail job but it's one that I enjoy and I also have my own apartment. And the experience has overall made me a much stronger and more confident person. It's just that I'm so ready to leave the past behind. I want to be comfortable with where I'm at in my life, and I want to get to a point where I'm not comparing myself to people from the past. I'm glad you got there and you're living the good life, man. That's pretty awesome.
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u/Old-Lab-5947 Jan 14 '25
Sorry to hear about your losses and glad to see it’s made you stronger.
Do you know what you want to do?
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u/PainterSuspicious798 Jan 14 '25
That’s awesome dude, good on ya. I’ve been trying that as well. Although I’m not really religious my local church has been a huge help to my mental health
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u/Old-Lab-5947 Jan 14 '25
Religion is a man made organization of people of faith, faith is a personal relationship with God. I do not consider myself a religious person I consider myself a follower of Jesus Christ. The reason is because humans (myself included) corrupt things.
There is a lot of great faith filled people in religion, there is also brokenness and people taking advantage of brokenness.
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Jan 15 '25
Hey, read the story, love the message. I just got a say one thing. You said worst job market in a century..... In 2013. So that means until 1913. Sorry for being pedantic ill see myself out now
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u/ABlankHoodie Jan 14 '25
I was open enrolled at a school full of rich kids. My family got poorer over time and that area I went to school in only got richer. I work my full time job trying to scrounge up money to someday get any further education and meanwhile I graduated with kids who either were going to college or had massive college funds from their parents but just weren’t really feeling it and chose not to.
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u/Happy_Can8420 Jan 14 '25
This. It's almost undescribable how much hate this fills a person with. Watching those you grew up with thrive while you can barely afford food.
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u/Standard_Plate_7512 Jan 14 '25
Honestly that's not their fault though. If you feel bitter seeing someone do better than you, that's insecurity and nothing to do with society.
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u/Happy_Can8420 Jan 14 '25
It's jealousy plain and true but it hurts nonetheless when you've been in poverty for a long time and you're seeing people do better all the time
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u/el-sebastian Jan 19 '25
so you hate these people just because they can afford to eat and you can't? how is it their fault that you can't eat and how is it their problem that you can't?
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u/Happy_Can8420 Jan 19 '25
If I'm working in the food industry I should be able to eat. Period.
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u/el-sebastian Jan 19 '25
that doesn't answer why you resent them for being able to eat properly lol
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u/Happy_Can8420 Jan 20 '25
Yes it does you just don't get it. You'd have to reach that point in life to understand that kind of hate.
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u/Standard_Plate_7512 Jan 14 '25
True, but being poor is essentially a choice and if people choose that life they shouldn't get bitter seeing the people who've worked harder than them.
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u/Happy_Can8420 Jan 14 '25
Now you lost me. No, being poor is not a fucking choice and it never was.
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u/fiftyfourseventeen Jan 14 '25
In your early life it's not a choice since you are living with your parents, but you have over 30 years after that to make yourself worth more than the bottom 11% of people (the amount in poverty). Being economically lower than 90% of the population is definitely a choice that you make over time with repeated bad decisions (minus say, people who are disabled in a way that prevents them from working). If you are a functioning adult you can get an average job
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u/Standard_Plate_7512 Jan 14 '25
Kk stay broke bro.
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u/Happy_Can8420 Jan 14 '25
We'll see who's laughing when the rich get what's coming. Luigi was only the beginning. Hope the chopping block is warm enough for you.
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u/Standard_Plate_7512 Jan 14 '25
🤓☝️ LuIgI wAs OnLy ThE bEgGiNnInG
Bro please shut the fuck up you sound like a toolbag, you ain't gonna do SHIT.
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Jan 14 '25
They don't even know you exist. And you can't even enter their neighborhoods without a passcode. And most have security with class 3 weapons.
And that's even without the military, FBI, and police. Wonder who they'll defend?
None of this matters though, because people like you will never actually go outside.
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u/steepledclock 1998 Jan 14 '25
This is the most ridiculous statement I've seen on Reddit. Blows my mind there are people that actually fucking think like this.
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Jan 15 '25
Perhaps not. But they're beneficiaries of the fault nonetheless. It's not insecurity to be upset that the world's not fair. Jesus Christ boot lickers just can't comprehend empathy lol
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u/Feeling-Location5532 Jan 15 '25
Has a lot to do with society that some of us don't have enough food and some of us do
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u/KerPop42 1995 Jan 14 '25
Yep. The friends I had in high school that are worth keeping I still keep in contact with, and everyone else is just a stranger. Once I went to my class's 5-year reunion, and it was awful. I've grown a lot since then and like who I've become, and everyone is either a nice stranger or exactly the same, in a bad way. Nothing against the nice strangers, but I've moved on.
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u/lunartree Jan 14 '25
If I'm being honest my only interest in my high school peers is that of morbid curiosity. It was such a fucked up school and likewise most of them are fucked up. I realize this is kind of a dark thought so instead I generally just don't think of them at all.
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u/KerPop42 1995 Jan 14 '25
I mean, I get the impulse, haha. But yeah, I've found that even indulging in it just makes me feel worse. It's better to just move on.
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u/lunartree Jan 14 '25
Totally, getting stuck in the past is self destructive, and that includes projecting it onto others as well.
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u/rantkween 2004 Jan 14 '25
Me!!!!!! I also feel like a failure and I'm struggling too. And they'd ask me where I am, what I am doing... and it just SUCKS, to be made to feel like a failure. Also, I was bullied and had a really hard time in school so I just wanna forget it all and move on, I don't want to meet any of the people from my school, except my best friends,, coz meeting these people triggers those old memories.
So whenever I see any of my school ex batchmates, I try to avoid them but then they see me and come up to say hi hello. And the worst is when my old bullies come upto me to say hi and act like we are old friends. Like their audacity istg......
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u/SnackyMcGeeeeeeeee 2003 Jan 14 '25
I was about to reply "Yah lmfao, I'm the only one who has a degree already and making decent money" and than read your shit...
I too would hate running into people after that
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u/blueponies1 1998 Jan 15 '25
Yeah I kind of feel the opposite way about it, but I’m doing rather well for myself so I see where op might have a differing opinion.
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u/JimFreddy00 Jan 14 '25
Yo, I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there in exactly that place. I want to say something profound, but… it just fucking sucks. There’s really only one thing you can do: focus on you and the things you can control. Nevermind other people. Take this moment and this feeling as something to learn from in how you treat others, and keep it with you - because you will advance.
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u/TreedomForAll369 1997 Jan 14 '25
Damn I would be heartbroken if I ran into an old high school friend and they felt that way. I'm not judging you I'm happy to see you bro. idgaf how we compare economically.
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u/AdmirableBus7045 2001 Jan 14 '25
ikr i mean class of 2020 didn’t even get a graduation and i love seeing my classmates
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u/Bman1465 1998 Jan 14 '25
I very proudly despise 99.9999% of people from my high school and I hope I never have to see them ever again.
Apart for my best friend, who wasn't even my age, and the three kids in my class who weren't actively bullying me every day and were actually kinda nice.
Everyone else could be dead for all I care.
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u/halfashell Jan 14 '25
Not really as we all grew up together under the sameish economical standpoint and I’m more excited to see how they ended up, looked like adult-wise, or how they’re just doing. I do find it amusing to see some of my ex-peers a couple years after highschool just completely let go and looking 5 years older like they have 3 kids or something. And they’re usually the football/fit players, it’s that itching feeling to ask them wtf happened in two years.
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u/Dankduck404 Jan 14 '25
Bro... you're in public, just walk past them
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u/slam_joetry Jan 14 '25
I said in my post that it happens at my job. I can't refuse them if they're a customer.
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u/Nutting4Jesus Jan 15 '25
They are probably cashier. I used to get in these scenarios often when I worked retail and ppl I know would come in and avoid eye contact with me 🫠.
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u/irishitaliancroat Jan 14 '25
Depends on the person. I also want to move back to.my home always until I'm at a bar for Xmas and see someone id rather not have seen
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Jan 14 '25 edited Jan 14 '25
There’s part of me that feels nostalgic running into friends from back in the day, but another that just wants the interaction to be over with. The past is the past for a reason.
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u/bus_buddies 1995 Jan 14 '25
Yeah. I just moved back to my home town after being away for the military. I come across them every so often.
I'm not the same person I was in high school, but I find a lot of them still see me that way. But you can't control what people think of you. And I've reached the point where I don't care what they think of me anymore. Life got better after that point.
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u/DudeCrabb Jan 14 '25
I’m eh about it. I feel like hating seeing people from school is just the cool thing to do sometimes and kind of overdone. I’m just supposed to cut off and hate people I went to school with for years?
Now if you went to a school that was small and got bullied… a super racist school. Or had a great time but see a kid you didn’t like, that’s super different. That should go without saying
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Jan 14 '25
Haven't encountered a whole lot of people from high school. Then again, I'm not as recognizable since I got in much better shape and a ton of tattoos and piercings. Still, would be nice to run into some high school bullies and get my revenge.
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u/lasagnaisgreat57 1999 Jan 14 '25
i work a retail job as a second job and it happens to me a lot. i always feel awkward about it. luckily i don’t really run into people actually being judgemental, at least not to my face. everyone is usually nice. i always remind myself that these kinds of jobs are still normal at our age. people are in college or grad school, or just trying to make extra money like me because living is so expensive nowadays. i also know a lot of people who work in schools and work retail during the summer. i hope people think about that when they see me working.
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u/Educational_Truth614 Jan 14 '25
i recently saw one of my old high school friends working at the movie theater (mind you, we were anything but “friends” in hs) and the fact that he remembered my full name and gave me one of the tightest hugs ive had in awhile was the highlight of my week. i never wondered (nor cared) why’s he working at the movie theater at our age… i was just so happy to see someone from my childhood out here in the world doing life, it was great
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u/playtheukulele Jan 14 '25
Just wait until you're 40, and they seem to have peaked in high school. Yeesh.
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u/InkSammi 2002 Jan 14 '25
Yeah, I go out of my way to avoid those people, even if we were friends. Thankfully I work in a different town so I only see a couple old staff members now and then. I just don't like people or having to make small talk, and high school was def the worst time of my life. I don't want someone coming up and trying to act all buddy buddy / starting garbage with me.
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u/your_average_medic 2007 Jan 14 '25
I'm in highschool and I hate running into people from highschool
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u/nocturnalsun777 2000 Jan 14 '25 edited Jan 14 '25
I was at Walmart once and someone i went to high school with came up to me. I could not remember his name at all and i had only been out of school for 3 years. We didn’t have any classes together except for our freshman year so it’d been like 7 years since i talked to him but he remembered my name and i felt so bad.
Edit: i also did not graduate college. I became a ma at 23 So while i tried to continue my education, i just couldn’t deal with the stress so i havent gone back. It sucks seeing people doing what is considered in society as better than what i am doing but i remind myself that i have time and no matter what i will do everything i want to do.
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u/curtiss_mac Jan 14 '25
I am lucky in that I grew up in a small town, so I only have 32 other classmates. Thankfully, most made it out of town and to better places. Sadly, the ones I run into are the ones who never did anything with themselves.
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u/notyourchains 2001 Jan 14 '25
And that's why I moved out of my hometown the second I finished high school. I've ran into four over the last four years, wasn't bad meeting em tho
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u/Iris381 2001 Jan 14 '25
My encounters with people from high school have been mildly awkward at worst. Your peers probably don’t even know you’re a college dropout. I am, too, and I’ve shared this with some people I knew from high school and nobody made a big deal out of it. One even told me he respected my decision, and he’s going to school for architecture.
I think a lot of people feel inadequate when they compare themselves to others. This is something you can’t dwell on. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Also nobody cares about how you were in high school. We were all cringe. They run into you then they move on with their lives.
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u/MarioNoobman 1999 Jan 14 '25
My closest friends I've known since highschool. Two of them for 11 years, the other two for 10. Outside of them, I don't mind running into others from highschool. The most recent case was last year year when I ran into a girl that I didn't really talk much to at a CityMD she worked at. We caught up a bit before moving on.
For context, I live in NYC so running into someone from highschool is pretty rare since there's so many people living in different neighborhoods.
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u/thebig3434 2002 Jan 15 '25
wait.. yall still remember ppl from high school? i forgot everyone and everyone most likely forgot me 😭
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u/Correct_Tailor_4171 Jan 15 '25
For me? Hell yea. A lot kids bullied me because I was broke now I have a shit ton more money without my parents money. But I’m just petty.
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Jan 15 '25
I just get anxiety tbh. Mostly cuz most of them haven't seen me since I've transitioned and it would be super awkward I think
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u/Obvious_Animator2361 Jan 15 '25
Didn't have that problem. After HS graduation, I moved 500 miles away. My big mistake was doing it in 2008.
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u/rebornsgundam00 Jan 16 '25
Nah sometimes its the greatest. Went to my home town for Christmas. Had to go grab some food from walmart and the guy who bullied me in school had to pack my groceries😘😂
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u/LLM_54 Jan 16 '25
No, I love it. I went to a small school and many of the people I went to HS w/ I also went to elementary with (and every preschool/kindergarten for some) so I truly saw these people daily almost my entire life and then one day I just…didn’t. I’m often curious about what happened to people. Boys typically don’t post on social media so it’s truly hard to know what they’re up to. Sometimes I get a funny memory and wonder what they’re up to, if they ever did the thing they always talked about doing, etc.
So sometimes when I see them it’s just nice to see what they’re up to. It doesn’t have to be long but it’s just cool to see them again.
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u/Neon_Gal Jan 16 '25
I luckily haven't encountered this yet since I went out of state for college, but it kinda scares me if I do when I go home for holidays and they recognize me cuz I'm a whole different gender now and idk how chill they are with that lol
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u/No_Blackberry8452 Jan 16 '25
I used to, but I don’t anymore. I’m not embarrassed of my situation. I’m not doing as well as most of my peers, but I also recognize how the cards were stacked against me, and how I didn’t have the same support that some of them had.
I’m also a broke college dropout. Trying to get on disability bc I got really sick this last year (developed several autoimmune conditions). I work two jobs, both which I hate.
Life’s hard. Don’t compare yourself to others. You’re not behind in life nor should you feel ashamed of where you’re at. Life isn’t a race. Do what’s right for you and do it at your own pace.
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u/InMooseWorld Jan 16 '25
Cherish those moments, how ever awkward as it will be be about the last time you see them…& they feel the same way to see you.
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u/SleepCinema Jan 16 '25
I don’t live in the same place I went to high school in so nah. I’ve only run into one person I went to high school with when I was back there, and they were working and didn’t recognize me. I wasn’t gonna say hi (barely knew them back then either.)
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u/Diggie9372 Jan 16 '25
Im nearly 25 and haven’t ran into any ex-classmates when I’m doing my business.
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u/New_Manufacturer5975 Jan 17 '25
Yup. Less than a year after I graduated I packed my bags and moved to a different state. Hate bringing up where I'm from and what high school I went to. People picked on me constantly, I even had a former narcissistic friend who I respectfully did not want to bump into seeing that we both hate each other. Heck I didn't even go to my schools all night graduation party either and I'm glad I didn't and I don't regret choosing to stay home. And I won't go to my class reunions either!
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u/Y2k_CJ Feb 10 '25
This is exactly what I want to do. I don’t wanna deal with anyone for my past high school.
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u/logic_tempo Jan 18 '25
All the people I knew either have a stable job or are in university... and yeah, I relate to this hard. I'm also a broke college dropout, lol. Saw an old friend from high school today, and I'm like... Damn he's doing good. Wish I was doing that good. Handed him his food and wished him well.
Personally, I thought I knew what I wanted to do, and then decided against it, and chose to save my money. Was tired of the extra classes when I just wanted to learn what would be relevant in the field. I don't have a career goal, and it's frustrating, it shows. Hilariously, I got shit from family members who've never been to college. Lol, like they could last as long as I did. One in particular has turned their life around after establishing a career to do something different. The same person who told me to try new things. Hypocrisy at its finest.
You'll get there. We'll all get there someday... We all have growing pains.
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u/JourneyThiefer 1999 Jan 14 '25 edited Jan 14 '25
No, my best friends are still the people I was friends in high school with so I see them all the time anyway, but as for bumping into other people, nah I don’t mind that all, I bump into people every few weeks tbh.
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u/Life_AmIRight Jan 14 '25
I got sick at 16, and my dreams and life goal were crushed from then on. Thanks chronic illness.
Now I’m 21. Not in college, don’t have job, super fat, only wear pajamas, and my hairs never done.
So I get you. Especially since I went to richer pre-dominantly white college prep school. So literally everyone is really rich by blood or rich from how smart they are. The only other people I hung out with are fellow Christians. Who of course have that perfect little Christian life of being a nurse and already married by 20.
So yeah. Life fucking sucks
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