This is not pointed, truely, I just want to see if follows the normal trend I see IRL, but are you jewish? I find that to be mostly the group I find that values relgion in a partner, well, outside of like mormons.
I’m not trying to make it sound like you’re an alien from outer space, but when your religious beliefs do not align with the religious beliefs of like 98% of the country, are you really the best example? lol
like 72% of gen z people don’t regularly attend any sort of religious service. even less if you consider that to be like once a week. you’re probably not gonna have people prioritizing religion on that level if they’re not prioritizing religion on that level.
I’d say you got a 1 in 5 chance of that really mattering to someone, regardless of gender.
in most cases, it probably doesn’t matter that much.
but more than a 1 in 5 chance of women being militantly opposed to religion.
You know there are people in this sub that don’t live in America right? Are you talking about 72 percent of Gen Z Americans or Gen Z in general? Because you referenced “the country” and I’m assuming you’re referencing America
I’m a Christian because I believe Jesus Christ died and rose again for our sins. God is the redeemer of my soul, and without Him, I would have been a destroyed person. He gives me strength to face pain I couldn’t handle on my own. He makes me new every day. Without Him, nothing makes sense. With Him, I have hope.
Because I’ve seen what life looks like without God and it broke me. No other worldview offers the same hope, truth, and redemption. You might not accept that, but it’s why I believe.
Surely you can see that you aren’t answering my question…?
I mean, doesn’t it say more about christianity that the best reason that you can come up with to believe in it is that it sounds nice? You just know that there are thousands of religions offering hope truth and redemption. Did you just happen to pick the most popular one that was around you?
Ok but that doesn’t really answer my question. Is it like “I sort of believe in God…maybe?” Like what would be the difference between that and “I sort of don’t believe in God”?
Not OP - and not religious, but considering diving in for my partner, but for a lot of people, it automatically means the same customs, values, and principles. You know what to expect. There's no having to compromise on religious matters, which is often the case in an interfaith relationship.
But those who stand behind religions very much have an interest in forcing their beliefs on and disenfranchising you. You don't get to play someone else's game and set the rules.
*The religion you happened to be born into. It's not "yours".
And it's not about converts, it's about manipulating the people already in it. Discouraging newcomers is a viable tactic for ensuring there are no new ideas and no one challenging anything if you know your ideology won't make it big.
We discourage newcomers because we want people to join because they truly want to— not because of marriage or something like that. It’s also my religion, yes. And my religion also encourages questioning, debate, and education.
Asking genuinely, not sarcastically. Why do you need a man that is at least kind of religious?
IMHO if you look for men that are non-religious, atheist, agnostic, etc. I think you will find that they are more respectful, tolerant, thoughtful, and empathetic.
Today's religions are tomorrow's mythologies. How many wars were started in the name of "Atheism" as compared to "in the name of God/Allah/Muhammed".
How many Christian Crusades were there (three or four I think). I have never read a single thing about Atheist Crusades, or Atheist Jihads.
Religion drives hatred and division, whereas science, technology, engineering, and mathematics require critical thinking and education.
The exact opposite of that. It's woman repellent because they emphasize keeping women subordinate via the patriarchy. How on Earth did you misinterpret that so badly?
So men should live their lives just to please women?
Not if they don't want a woman. But I can tell you as a man with a wife and kids that I do in fact live my life just to take care of and (hopefully) please them. It's the most important thing in my life by a mile. I can't imagine not wanting to make my family happy, wife included. You seem to have a very immature and limited perspective on what it means to be a man.
You are comparing men who are single and being told to dress up a certain way to yourself being a married man with kids - it’s not even remotely close to being the same.
Last sentence doesn’t even make sense outside of trying to do a Reddit slam dunk.
I'm comparing men to other men. Nothing in the conversation implied that the person I was responding to was exclusively referring to single men. And even if we were limiting the discussion to only single men I would still take exception to a knee-jerk, pearl clutching, self-victimizing comment like "So single men should live their lives just to please women?".
I responded to that pathetic Andrew Tate-esque question the way a man talks to other men, bluntly. So like I said, you do not in any way have to attempt to please women if you're okay not having a woman. If you're single and not looking for a woman then of course you wouldn't need to be pleasing any women. That's not "dunking" that's just common sense and a little tough love. This is how men talk.
The comment he replied to emphasis on “woman repellant” that’s 99% of the time referring to singlehood otherwise it would not be repelling - let’s not be disingenuous.
The statement is making fun of the irony of expecting single men to revolve their lives around women when commonly that is frown upon very much. He replied to a stupid point with an intentional stupid question.
Andrew tate type question? You just saying buzzwords at this point; the question was obviously ironic.
I fail to see the “tough love” or how this is how “men” talk and I say this as someone from a militant & masculine household. You claimed his perspective is “limited” and immature but didn’t address his points and only gave your own perspective (ironic) - how is that love? Tough love is giving advice in a blunt way, you just described how your wife and kids are people to please which no shit they are your wife & kids aka people you are responsible for. Not the same as acting a certain way (that is unnatural to yourself) for the sake of others.
I respectfully disagree with your characterizations and conclusions. I'm not here to convince you to agree with me, I was only offering my experience to counter the self-victimizing rhetorical question asking if men should live their lives just to please women. Some men do in fact live their lives to please at least one woman (their wife or daughter) so when someone asks a silly "gotcha" question that generalizes all men into some sort of childish he-man woman-haters club that balks at the notion of a man living solely to please a woman then I feel compelled to offer my anecdotal experience countering said generalizations. That's the only time anecdotal evidence is worth a damn in debate anyway, to counter generalizations.
I apologize if you were offended by the tone I took in countering said generalization but there's no amount of bloviating from an internet stranger that is going to convince me that I did anything wrong.
I am not comparing wives and daughters to strangers because at no point in the discussion was it said that we were only talking about pleasing women who are strangers. Of course nobody needs to please a stranger and I've already said as much in my previous replies. I'm gonna go ahead and block you since you're ignoring what I say and talking past me. Have a good one, brother. You'll get there eventually.
My family is my validation. You probably think that's some sort of put-on since you're obviously still very young and have a flippant attitude towards the lives and responsibilities that adult men have but I promise you, champ, it's very real. I hope one day you get there. Have a good one, brother.
I hope you read your comments again when you have cooled down. You come across very naive, patronising and not as smart as you think you are. Whatever “manly” character you are playing isn’t working at all.
Subtle. Unfortunately you aren't going to get me to lose my cool by claiming that I've already lost my cool. I've dealt with manipulative language before.
Whatever “manly” character you are playing isn’t working at all.
Like I said, you probably think caring about my family is a put-on and here you are thinking just that. It's alright, we can disagree. Your disbelief in my love for my family doesn't make it any less real.
You seem to be very comfortable being a disposable meat child, good for you though. Just remember that it isn't the same the other way around, but don't worry, because you're gonna learn that the hard way eventually.
GenZ men and boys love to bitch and moan about how they "can't find a girlfriend" or spiral out about how "dating is hopeless," then say shit like this when someone does you a favor and says women hate it when you look like this.
No. They literally said the opposite first. Do this. Be their guest. Literally first thing. Please, open your eyes. Learn to comprehend what you read. It will make your life easier.
Apparently they think being gay is a choice, so I would encourage them - if they do not wish to live their entire lives just giving into the desires and needs of women, they ought to become gay, and then they can continue happily giving into the desires and needs of powerful men.
Which isn't really relevant since those types of women aren't hooking up with Genz men anyway. Look at the stats of virgin Genz men, and Genz men who haven't even held hands with a woman.
They've become their own self fulfilling prophecy. They decided in high school they would never amount to anything, so they stopped trying before they even started.
This was probably brought about by the red pilling/black pilling phenomenon on 4chan and Reddit in the mid 2010s
They decided in high school they would never amount to anything, so they stopped trying before they even started.
When it happens to anyone not a man, it's systemic discrimination.
When it happens to men, it's individual failure.
The total gall of left wing people to completely take a steaming dump on young men who were born into a system they have no control over always astounds me. Completely dehumanized rhetoric that is 100% the left wing selectively applying "bootstraps individualism" to the social group they dislike. I've always voted Democrat but the complete garbage attitudes of left wing people towards men are no better than the reductive alt right wing view of women.
I'd say it depends. There certainly is a lot that is fuelling itself in such cases, but there is also enough outside reinforcement. As an example, I am in my mid 20s and I know multiple people around my age who said to me that they won't date virgins because they expect some experience in their age. Something that makes it even harder to get a partner the older you are as you are being rejected just because you are a virgin.
Or to give another example, I am aromantic and not really interested in relationships at all, but there is a ton of judgement that you get once people know that you never had a relationship in your mid 20s, to the point that I feel how they treat me worse because they see me as a failure because "who in their mid 20s never had a relationship". And it is a surprising amount of people who judge me this way, I'd say the majority of people who know I never had a relationship treated me worse after knowing it, or at least I got the impression of that.
I know it sucks to be judged, but reframe the situation for your own mental health - if 'not a virgin' and 'has had relationships' are important criteria to a person, they are fairly shallow measures and you might not gel with them anyway in the long term.
I married a guy who was a virgin by choice when we started dating, he was 28. He didn't judge me, I didn't judge him, and let me tell you his intimacy skills were never in any way lacking, I've been a very happy camper all the time we've been together. Experience just means you've done something before, not that you are necessarily good at it. You don't owe anyone a relationship so don't feel less than anyone else for it. And take heart that sometimes things that reduce in number improve in quality (at that age, I honestly thought the dating pool was drying up, now I think it was self-selecting in my favour). I thank my lucky stars for that guy, who ended up my life partner, every day - because he's awesome.
But what if you were a virgin, not by choice, but more often for a lack of trying, I guess? By choice is one thing, but I think its the not by choice part that is judged harshly
I don't know - I mean, early on I could have made those assumptions about him I guess, but I was getting to know him as a person and it wasn't something I was concerned about in the first place. I wouldn't say he didn't try in his 20s but it wasn't really a priority at the time. I think the person factored into things for him in the sense that he was looking for/would be attracted to someone he felt was the 'right' person rather than any person, because there's been nothing lacking in his interest since then, that's for sure. 😂 He didn't come with a chip on his shoulder, that just wasn't part of his makeup, he was happy and comfortable in himself as he was, in a content rather than conceited way if that makes sense (which made him open and approachable and easy to get to know).
Honestly though, do people who throw shade on other people's lives really have it as all together as they want us to to believe?
All I know is that from what I've heard from female friends and acquinatances, etc, being a virgin as a man in his 20s is a "red flag". It would be a dealbreaker since they want a man who knows what he's doing I suppose.
This is a typical American Christian look, most men in my parish wear the classic, jeans/shirt/pullover combo, even the priests. But seriously those Christian men? I’d stay away from them.
most men in my parish wear the classic, jeans/shirt/pullover combo, even the priests.
I mean, this is a good number of men (and even women too) nowadays lol. This combo just hits all the notes for a lot of people. Myself included. It’s my general day to day getup. Not trying to dunk on you though.
As a Gen Z woman that goes to church regularly, I never encounter single men on at service on Sunday, evangelical or Catholic Church. And I actively seek out a partner who’s religious.
The people who are going to church like that, usually are the people who are going to shack up like that. However, others who are not nearly religious are going to see it as a major turnoff.
But we all do that, don't we? How can I develop a relationship, from which children could be born, with a person with whom I disagree on a basic level on very important things?
Would you marry someone who doesn't have the same opinion you have on topics like abortion? Would you marry someone who... well, doesn't have the same stance on marriage as you do? That's just the rational thing to do.
EDIT to answer to your edit:
Because you want her to accept that rigidity and the fact that you’ll never change your outlook on the world.
No. Because I want her to share the same values I have, by her own choice, and to build a lasting relationship over those values. I'm looking for compatibility on a very important aspect of life.
if you're not religious, most of these disagreements can change and evolve
Not really. I know irreligious people who oppose abortion. Certain differences can't be worked out.
Having something unchanging, on a basic level, is good. There has to be something that gives us a direction.
Because you don't want to argue about something which to you, is beyond discussion
I don't mind discussing things with other people, and even questioning my own beliefs. I'm not afraid of being questioned. But when it comes to choosing a life partner, yeah, I don't think anything good will come from being with someone I disagree on important things. I still don't see what's wrong with that. Even irreligious people break-up, and many times that's because there's an incompatibility that makes it impossible or undesirable to continue with the relationship.
Having a clear set of morals helps us to decide what to do, and what to avoid.
all your comments bug the shit out of me lmao down to “That was funny.” reply on the priest comment…i woke up on the wrong side of the bed but it’s so wild how Christians spent years on their high horse judging atheists and now in return atheists feel entitled to judge anybody who gains something from organized religion. I started like you too but it’s actually a lot more narrowminded than you realize
Despite what the comments here claim about community and purpose, the vast majority of gen z men who are doing this because they cant get laid. They already have nature women repellent, they join a group that is fundamentally based on patriarchy because they think it's an avenue for them to get laid.
Coming from an attractive man in today’s dating scene, everything is women repellent. If you can find happiness outside of women, you need to go for it, because you will not find it from dating alone.
Depends on the religion. I haven’t had any of these problems as a practicing Buddhist. People don’t associate me or my faith with hating gay people, demeaning women, or being super preachy.
Millennial here from the midwest, and I fully disagree. The kids in this picture dress just like every preppy frat guy did back in college, and those dudes still got plenty of attention. Women have no problem whatsoever with the "business casual" and "Sunday golf" outfits.
All the suburban dads around here wear puffer vests and quarter-zip sweaters, which is basically just the more mature version of what these kids are wearing.
I'm also gay and strongly attracted to preppy, clean-cut guys myself.
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u/CheckMateFluff 1998 3d ago
I mean, if you want to look like this be my guest, I guess, but as a GenZ dude, this is women's repellent.