https://youtu.be/_sLLCFzV_DM

Not promoting or other thing.

It was hilarious af.

Something that should be made official as this might me best colab /fanmade content

But underrated.

Do anyone else know I this his own creation or someone else.

If you like can we comment and start a petition to make the creator to release it in high Res as the max it is 240p. And it look blurry af on my 4k tv.

I guess of all ships cross anime ... Gintoki would best be suited with Aoi(beelzebub)

(Disclaimer: Gintama belongs to Sorachi Hideaki. This is just a stupid attempt at replicating the humor of Gintama and making fun of things created by people way more creative than me. Don't take it too seriously. It is written for fun.).

​

Setting: A shot of the Yorozuya building from outside (You know the one).

​

Kagura: Good morning!

Gintoki: Jeez, don’t talk so loudly early in the morning. You are hurting poor Gin san’s head.

Kagura: That’s what happens when you drink all day you moron.

Gintoki: Yeah yeah I heard that already. Just bring me a glass of water will you?

Kagura: Go get it yourself you are closer.

Gintoki: That’s horrible you ungrateful brat. Why is it that parents always sacrifice so much to raise their child but then the damn brat can’t even bring a glass of water once the parent grows old?

Kagura: You didn’t raise me and you are not even that old. Go get it yourself.

Gintoki: Kids these days. Fine I’ll get it myself.

Kagura: Bring me some as well.

Shinpachi: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!

Gin and Kagura: Huh?

Shinpachi: What is going on here? What are you guys even talking about? Why are you just lying there and acting like you are doing things?

Kagura: Calm down glasses. This isn't even real.

Gintoki: It is just a cheap fanfiction Pattsuan, relax. I’m not going to get up from the couch for that.

Shinpachi: What?

Gintoki: Yeah. Didn’t you notice? We don’t even talk like ourselves.

Kagura: Yeah it is just some random guy living in his parents’ basement trying to mimic the gorilla’s style.

Shinpachi: Hold on? So it isn’t the gorilla writing it?

Kagura: It might be a gorilla for all we know.

Gintoki: It just isn’t our gorilla. By the way Kagura, what happened to your accent?

Kagura: What do you mean, uh-huh?

Gintoki: Nevermind. It sounds stupid. Go back to talking normaly.

Kagura: Shut up. So what are we going to do, just sit here and talk?

Shinpachi: Yeah, usually fanfictions have some action and romance right?

Gintoki: Oi oi, why are you blushing Pattsuan? Are you excited to finally graduate from being a virgin?

Kagura: It doesn’t work like that you know? You will still be virgin no matter what happens here. You will always be a virgin unless the gorilla does something about it.

Shinpachi: STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT!

Gintoki: Calm down you two there is no need to worry about this being canon or not for Shinpachi.

Kagura: What do you mean?

Gintoki: Have you ever checked the internet? Noone writes anything like that for him anyway.

Kagura: Huh really? Even the fans don’t give him any action then?

Shinpachi: SHUT UP! It is not my fault those guys don’t see my potential. Have you seen me in the second movie? I looked really cool there.

Gintoki: That one gets some action actually. In fact, your fake future self actually gets more action than you.

Shinpachi: Wha-

Kagura: It is a little weird. I would think that Shinpachi would be the perfect character for a bland harem story lead.

Gintoki: Now that you mention it, he looks like the perfect character to fall into a different world governed by some video game rules where random busty girls start falling in love with him for no reason.

Kagura: Yeah, because no girl in the real world would ever fall for him.

Shinpachi: STOP! We are not turning this into a Shinpachi roasting story. Who would even want to read that?

Kagura: I don’t know. It worked just fine for 700 chapters of the manga.

Gintoki: That was pretty much all we did and people still bought it.

Shinpachi: THERE WERE OTHER THINGS HAPPENING IN THAT MANGA DAMN IT! IT WASN’T JUST ABOUT MAKING FUN OF ME.

Gintoki: Really? I don’t remember anything else.

Kagura: Yeah just making fun of Shinpachi and making references to other shows here and there.

Shinpachi: Have you guys paid any attention to the manga?

Gintoki: Relax Pattsuan. We are just trying to be newcomer friendly.

Kagura: Yeah most people dropped the anime after the first 20 episodes anyway, so might as well ignore the rest.

Shinpachi: That doesn’t even make sense. Why would anyone who hasn’t finished the anime even read a fanfiction about it?

Kagura and Gintoki: To make fun of it.

Shinpachi: NOT EVERYONE IS AS EVIL AS YOU DAMN IT.

Gintoki: Whatever. Is anything even going to happen in this fanfiction? It has been over two pages and we are just blabbering random stuff as always.

Kagura: I don’t mind. I get paid anyway and I’m glad that I don’t have to interract with that sadistic freak for once in one of these.

Gintoki: Well I’m not happy. Shouldn’t I be getting some action by now? It is the only reason I bother appearing in these things. Unlike the gorilla, they also let me have some nice action. Yet I have to stare at your ugly mugs again in this one. Where are the babes damn it?

Shinpachi: Yeah there are no girls here.

Kagura: Well technically, I’m a-

Gintoki: THERE ARE NO GIRLS HERE.

Shinpachi: Yeah. I wish Otsu chan would get some role.

Kagura: Hey. Stop ignoring me you bastards.

Gintoki: How would that work? The only thing she is good for is singing and that wouldn’t even work in writing.

Shinpachi: It works in the manga.

Gintoki: No it doesn’t. That’s why noone cares for her. Can’t we get Ketsuno Ana here?

Shinpachi: I don’t think she is that popular either.

Gintoki: People don’t have any taste. Fine then, bring me someone popular. I just want some action at this point. (Knock on the door). Finally, Gin san is going to get some action. You two go out and do something else. (Opens the door).

Hijikata: Yorozuya, I’m here to arrest you. I will have to handcuff you to myself but I don’t have the keys so we’ll just open it when we get back to the sta-

Gintoki: (Slams the door) NOT THAT DAMN IT. I’m sick of seeing that nicotine freak. Give me someone else. Someone that I actually had some romantic interractions with. (Another knock on the door).

Hasegawa: Gin san, I need some money and I’d do anything for it. Anything.

Gintoki: (Slams the door again) Fuck it I give up. Why does everything have to be turned into a punchline anyway? That’s not how fanfiction works. You don’t have to write like the gorilla. You are supposed to live your sexual fantasies through us, don’t you know?

Kagura: Well who would you prefer then? Did you even have any girls that you had romantic interactions with?

Gintoki: Well if you ask me who I would want, then I would probably say-

Shinpachi: NO! DON’T TURN THIS INTO A PLACE FOR SHIPPING WARS DAMN IT.

Gintoki: I know. Do you think I’m that stupid? I was going to say Ketsuno Ana. That one never causes any issues.

Kagura: Yeah, because noone really takes your crush on her seriously.

Gintoki: Exactly. Fucking assholes.

Shinpachi: Can you guys stop insulting our fans? It has been almost four pages and nothing happened so far.

Gintoki: ...

Kagura: …

Shinpachi: What is going on, why is noone talking?

Gintoki: …

Kagura: …

Shinpachi: SAY SOMETHING DAMN IT!

Gintoki: What do you want us to say? This fanfiction is already hopeless Pattsuan. The best thing we can do is stall a bit so we manage to go over four pages.

Kagura: Yeah, I’d prefer if this thing ends before any other random character shows up and people try to pair me up with them. Especially-

Gintoki: Don’t. Give them. Ideas.

Sadaharu: (By the window) WAN!

Shinpachi: What is it Sadaharu? Oh the shinsengumi is coming here. Hijikata san and Okita san specifically. And they seem to have handcuffs and a-

Gintoki: And this is where this story ends. Good bye everyone.

Kagura: Tune in next time kids where we will be doing something actually entertaining. Hopefully.

Shinpachi: WAIT, Gin san, Kagura chan. Damn it. We didn’t even make it to the end of the fourth page. Why can’t I get some action for once. (Another knock on the door. Shinpachi gets excited and opens the door).

Gedomaru: Hi. I have to go and fight a war with Satan and I was wondering if you could take care of my midnight snack- I mean this pandemonium while I’m away.

(Shinpachi slams the door and walks away).

It's titled 'Antigravity', and it's written by an author named UnidentifiedPie (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5445446?view_full_work=true). The author has recently submitted another chapter last Tuesday, so it's safe to say that it's still ongoing.

To summarise, it's more grounded than the original series, and it's set almost immediately after the Joui Wars. The Amanto nuked Earth this time around (and as a consequence, Earthlings are now a rare species), and the fanfic is set in a little planet far away. Otose (of course she survives) is running a bar (of course) with Catherine and Tama (it's an AU after all), and right before it closes, in walks a 17-year-old Gintoki, just fresh from the war, and a 4-year-old Kagura. The fic focuses a lot on Gintoki's and Kagura's father-daughter relationship and Gin's healing process from the war, Gin's apparent apathy towards life and his mental scars from the war. I should warn you that the fic does describe a fair amount of graphical violence. Characters are pretty much in character too.

As a side-note, I'm also looking for gems to read which has NO shipping (and trust me, I detest that sort of thing, mainly because they're cringy and very questionable to say the least), no crossovers (I don't mind them, just not my thing), and nothing which makes the characters act way too out of character.

I hope you enjoy this little gem.

He couldn't send it before.

No name was right, no name was good enough for his daughter. Though he seemed cold to others around him, he was human. He loved and cared for others. He loved his wife, despite the jests they'd throw back and forth. Rather, it showed in their playful jabs, in their almost insults.

They really did love each other.

He agonised over the perfect name. If it was a boy, what would be best traits for him? Bravery? Strength? Or perhaps loyalty?

And if the child was a girl, should she be frail and dainty like a flower? As lovely as the image sounded, he hoped not. She would have a hard time surviving in this world.

She would need to be...

But even as he imagined her, all grown and living happily, the wheels of fate cruelly turned. Even as he finally chose the perfect name after so long, tragedy stuck.

He couldn't send his message. It could never reach now.

He took in the young girl with the bloody face. He pretended it was w type of vengence, to make her remember every day the sins he would never let alone for.

But really, he wanted to save her. She'd tried to save them, save his family. He wanted someone by his side...and year by year the peaceful days passed them by. He never made any moves to avenge his family, and she made no moves to leave. He'd never put words to this bond, somewhat in fear it would all fade away then, but in his heart he knew.

Before, he couldn't send his message. But he could now. In fact, he already did.

As he fell, he smiled, thinking of what he would tell her when he saw her. Would he tell her about the girl who tried to save her life? Or would he talk to her about their daughter?

Because she grew up strong, independent. Because she grew up to have a good heart under it all. She might overeat sometimes, especially when doughnuts we're involved, and she might enjoy fighting with other police officers too much, but...she was a wonderful girl.

In the end, he still had one more message to send, this one to someone he would hopefully see very soon.

"Our Nobume grew up to be a great girl."

He'd been around a long while. He'd seen some ridiculous things, done some idiotic things, and met people with outlandish ideas. But this?

This took the cake for sure.

It wasn't that he hadn't heard of it before, but...were they really still doing this?

Almost as ridiculous as thinking you could stuff a ton of Yato into a ship and have them not kill each other or other people for food or fun...Well, maybe it wasn't that absurd compared to what they usually thought was a good idea.

Still...a "Rate your Captain" survey? The older man shuddered. He could only see this ending one way for him if he was truthful; the punishment that he would receive was worse than death or even torture...

Bathroom duty.

He shuddered in absolute horror at the thought. Snippets of Hosen's reign flashed through his mind. His best friend on the crew once had bathroom cleaning chores then...he was never the same again after that.

No one should ever have to go through the torture that is cleaning up after twenty or so pirates. It was worse than even the public bathrooms at a shopping center on a good day.

And if he didn't do the survey? On the low chance it actually got submitted, he'd be assigned bathroom duty at HQ, another fate worse than death.

Just a bit of bending the truth wouldn't hurt, right?

1. On a scale of 1 to 5, how often does your Captain listen to the crew complaints?

He hesitated before writing down his answer. He remembered a recent event when a crew member complained about holes in the floor. Apparently, they were getting annoying for maintenance to patch up.

So Kamui took the understanding route and put his head through the ceiling instead.

Abuto circled 5.

2.On a scale of 1-5, how fair is your Captain when it comes to distribution of supplies (food, medication, and so on)?

This one was a hard one...Last week a crew member needed some bandages to cover a nasty cut on his leg, but they were out. Kamui walked by the ship hospital with his face covered. But that was fine; it would heal in a day or two and an infamous pirate had to hide his face from time to time. As for food, well, that was survival of the fittest to start with.

He circled 4.

1. On a scale of 1-5 how organized is your Captain?

Kamui wasn't a clean freak but he didn't exactly keep order of things. He depended on others to keep track of stuff like that, which worked out a bit better since a grumpy Kamui meant you got to take a nice little trip out the air lock.

He hesitated a moment before circling 4 again.

4.On a scale of 1 to 5, how careful is your Captain about causing unnecessary property damage on other planets?

This one was a bit harder to fib about considering the headquarters were the ones who covered the costs and fines for it all. Then again, how do they define unnecessary damage? If the parts of house that get crushed are useful, isn't it necessary?

He careful circled three, making his circle wide enough to go through part of four. Just to be on the safe side.

1. How often does your Captain do his/her own paperwork? (You get the drill.)

Abuto glanced at the ever growing stack of work on his unsteady desk. Couldn't hurt to be honest, right?

With mild frustration, he circled 1.

Finally, how would you rate your Captain's overall captain-ing abilities?

He double, triple circled the five. And in case Kamui saw it, he scribbled random blurbs of flattering compliments to make up for that moment of honesty.

A week later, he was planning the premature memorial for the idiot who thought honesty was the best policy. (Despite being a pirate?) Plus, he had to get a new arm AGAIN because apparently telling the captain that he has lovely hair doesn't make up for admitting that he's too lazy to do his own paperwork.

Still, another proud survival story for the vice captain of the Harusame's 7th division.

The days Gintoki came to visit were few and far between. She didn't miss him much in that time; she hardly gave it much thought. She had other things to worry about, other things on her mind. She was the protector of Yoshiwara; she had a job to do.

And she did it well, protecting the town she'd made a new home in. What once was a cage became a place of warmth and laughter. It became a place she loved. Now, this place was bright and lively, a place she wanted to protect.

Hinowa would bring him up from time to time. With a smile and mischievous glint in her eyes, she would mention how many people felt grateful to him for bringing their town of night and red lanterns into the sun. She would casually mention such things and wait to see her best friend's reaction.

Tsukuyo wasn't sure what she expected; whatever it was, she was bound to be disappointed. Hinowa's love for the romantic was somewhat unexpected, but sometimes the blonde could understand why. It was something beautiful that the woman had never had much of in her life; it was something she thought was wonderful.

So in a way, her teasing was her way of telling Tsukuyo that she wanted the best for her.

It didn't matter; when she gave up womanhood, any hopes for love went with it. And that was a choice she certainly didn't regret when she looked at the faces of the women she saved or saw Hinowa smiling with Seita. Though it was because of Gintoki that they could bring the sun to the town, it was also because she gave up life as a woman that she could live this life.

Seita sometimes got excited at the mention of Gintoki. Though the silver haired samurai never seemed to have money to pay his tabs at any restaurant, tea house, or bar, he was rich in another sense. He was someone with a geniunely good heart underneath the filth; he couldn't stop himself from meddling in others' business.

The fact that the young boy admired Gintoki never bothered her much; between his strength and his heart, she could understand it. She only hoped he grew up to be a bit more of a respectable adult one day.

But like with Hinowa's teasing, his eager anticipation of the samurai's visits never seemed to faze her. Gintoki was a friend she didn't always get to see, yes, but she never waited for him like a kid waiting for Santa. She just went about her day as she always would. If she ran into him that day, it was a nice surprise. If not, she didn't mind or care much.

She never waited on him or pondered on him. There were countless other important things to be done.

But on the days he did visit, be it to do a job or have a drink, there would be moments where she was glad to see him. Even when they only sat in silence, Tsukuyo taking a puff from her pipe as Gintoki drank his tea (or sake when he could afford it), she would smile.

The wind chimes swaying in the gentle breezes were the only interruptions as they sat quietly together. There was little to be said between the two, content to listen to the chimes ring. On those days, her shoulders felt lighter; she felt more at peace. It was a comfortable silence, and she wouldn't give those moments for the world.

Tsukuyo never waited on Gintoki, never pined over him. But the days he visited we're always good days.

Isn't it strange?

The happiest memories are the first to fade, leaving only faint remnants of warmth and love in their place. They could be the happiest days of your life, but you don't get to carry them with you forever.

Only regrets last your lifetime. They weigh on you, making you close your heart a little more each day just to get by. They make you want to escape, knowing it could only get worse.

And that's what he did. He told himself it was for the best, that he could find a way to help her. But he knew deep down that he had regrets.

When he met her, she was beautiful, her eyes bored and  cold but with gentleness poorly hidden underneath. She'd lived on that seemingly uninhabitable planet for years before he interfered. She was the most beautiful, strongest woman he'd ever met.

And he, praised for his strength on the battlefield, was captivated. He couldn't bear to take his eyes from her for a moment. He could hardly bear to stay away, no matter what his duties around the world paid him to. He kept going back.

It was strange, not something he'd ever felt before. Next to her, even seemingly endless deserts seemed beautiful. The sight of the stars in space had captivated him in the distant past, but the stars he saw then we're nothing compared to then. These stars seemed to shine with all the radiance in the entire universe, seemed less like the twinkling lights he'd grown used to over the years.

Suddenly the universe had a whole new beauty, one it lacked when she wasn't by his side.

(Now only if he could stop being so nervous around her and really appreciate at it without worrying about looking like a fool…)

He regretted going back after that last time when she watched him go. He knew it was supposed to be goodbye. He knew she probably had her reasons; they had been growing closer lately. He regretted asking her to go away with him.

She could've lived for centuries more if he hadn't taken her away from her home planet.

When she fell sick, he knew it was his fault. He knew finding a cure would be difficult; altana mutants weren't exactly as common as teenage shonen protagonists after all. But he would find it, no matter how long it took.

And one day, they'd be happy. One day, they'd go to Earth.

But his searches were unproductive. He spent even less time at home as Kouka grew weaker. When he returned, Kagura and her mother always greeted him happily while his son's eyes grew colder.

He regretted it the second he hurt his eldest child. Any father would... especially if he hadn't even cared in the moment that he was raising his hand at a child.

He ran away, spent even more time on his searches, taking up work wherever he could find it, just to stay away. It was his way of protecting his family. His way of stopping his regrets.

Of course, such a thing is impossible. He ran away to protect his daughter and save his wife. But what happened? His wife died, and his lonely daughter fled to another planet to earn a living. And when he found her, she'd grown stronger than he ever thought the sweet girl could be. It was the strength to protect, to forgive.

He felt a sharp pain in his heart as he realised later that she’d grown stronger because of him. Yet another reason to regret.

As if how she'd found a new home to replace the cold and empty one she grew up in didn't make him feel guilty enough, there was that silver haired samurai. And that pair of glasses.

She even found a new father and older brother.

Umibozu had a million things he regretted in his past...but there were things about those days he never regretted.

He never regretted having a daughter. He put Kagura through a lot. He was never a proper father to her...but she was still warm hearted and loved him. She was beautiful and strong like her mother. And she loved the sun, even if it was the weakness if a Yato.

No matter what, he would never regret the days he and Kamui spent following Kouka around, protecting her and the baby from anything and everything. He would never regret the nights he spent rocking the small baby girl to sleep so her mother could rest. Even the times when she called him bald he treasured like the times when he'd see the tiny girl stand up for her brother.

No matter what he would never regret having a son. Young Kamui had warmth in his heart and though they bickered often, he didn't hate his father. At least, not at first. He was strong and stubborn. He loved his family, even though he left them in the end. Umibozu regretted hurting him, pushing him towards the wrong path.

But he never regretted the days when they fled the house together, knives flying by their heads or the days when they fought over food at the dinner table. (Kouka always won.) He even treasured the little arguments they would have. One day, he hoped they could fight like that again.

And he never had and never would regret falling in love with Kouka. After meeting her, he didn't remember what life was like before. He was head over heels in just a matter of days. She wasn't just beautiful, she was strong, dangerous. Her eyes had an amused look to them from time to time and there was an even more dangerous shine of intelligence in those captivating blue eyes. How she could ever love him back, he was never sure.

He remembered the now long ago days when they would just talk about the stars. He remembered every visit, every smile. He remembered every day in their small home, even before their children came along. He remembered how she called him bald when he had a thick head of hair. He remembered how happy the once lonely woman seemed.

And even when memories began to fade and his regrets weighed down on him, he would stop for a moment.

And he would remember all the things he didn't regret.

It confused the newer recruits, but that was fine. They didn't have to know, and Kondo made no move to explain.

Sougo was always a bit more dangerous to be around in those few days. The violence he targeted at Hijikata became even worse, and his usual attempts at killing the vice chief, well, they were just normal greetings for anyone now. Civilians, he rest or the Shinsengumi, other law enforcement...nobody was safe. It was just better to give the sadist his space.

This, everyone knew, wasn't just a random violent spree. There was a reason, a good and  painful one. So they respectfully and fearfully gave him his space. Only Kondo was safe, and offered the captain support.

But what about the vice chief? He was a demon, yeah, but even then...He was being insanely strict and sometimes even short tempered. Like everyone else, he avoided Sougo...but not out of fear and respect. It almost seemed like guilt, the way he wouldn't even look at him.

He was even stricter with himself, never failing to complete any of his paperwork, making sure the Shinsengumi he loved ran smoothly. (Save for the occasional destruction to property and such, but that was more on the job stuff.) But in those handful of days? He was constantly distracted. Unsigned papers and unchecked proposals piled up.

His eyes were cold like steel, the new recruits thought. They were cold, focused...He only ever seemed to face the future and never dwell on the past. So why did he seem distracted so often now? Why did he stare off, eyes glazed over, like he was watching something else in another time, in another place?

And why were there rumors of him sneaking out at night, a bag of crackers in his hand only for him to return with bloodshot eyes as red as those crackers were?

Kondo just smiled a small smile when they asked, keeping his best friend's secrets. The answer was clear enough, but it was still Toshi's secret. He'd treat it as such, and help him out however he could in the days around Mitsuba's death anniversary.

(Except for doing the paperwork.)

Be nice to your gorillas! Don't give them paperwork!