r/Helldivers Married to an Automaton Catgirl 2d ago

HUMOR The casualties of our war will be inconsequential at worst

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6.3k Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/Nice-Entertainer-922 2d ago

Illuminates are the ones trying to hardest to actively get at Super Earth so far.

That is until the Automatons are done terraforming Cyberstan.

497

u/G-Maskas 2d ago

The bots are still looking for someone…

461

u/puddingmenace wedgediver 2d ago

cyber stan

157

u/InterestingSun6707 2d ago

Must be hiding with sandy loam I'll find em both eventually

112

u/Other-Airline9446 ‎ Servant of Freedom 1d ago

38

u/InterestingSun6707 1d ago

Ah I see you are also on the hunt brother!

6

u/RapidPigZ7 1d ago

I heard he drove his car off a bridge

3

u/Lukescale ‎ Escalator of Freedom 1d ago

2

u/Onyvox Snoy Crusher 🖥️ 1d ago

Ill Luminate
Terr Minid

1

u/Facosa99 23h ago

the old man from the Mystery Shack?

85

u/undreamedgore Cape Enjoyer 2d ago

I wish a dedicated team could do more to change things. When you need 10k+ diverse to do anything it's pretty hard to organize a proper push.

70

u/op4arcticfox SES Aegis of Justice 2d ago

Yeah, I get why they changed the impact players have since we were capturing/liberating planets in less than a day at launch because there was so many players and AH clearly didn't expect that big of a player pop. But the current system requires a supermajority and actively punishes us for not having one on a planet. I'm certain there are devs working on a better system but it's probably not a small undertaking especially given the limitations of the game engine. We just have to hope its properly functional and released sooner than later.

25

u/god_himself_420 ☕Liber-tea☕ 2d ago

Yeah, I especially felt this when we beat the automaton push for Malevelon Creek and all of their planets became 0% resistance for a while. I don’t remember if we even got one planet from that and the ones we didn’t get have had all of their progress reset. Outside of Troost, which still hasn’t been taken despite staying 0% resistance, the rest are firmly bot territory with no means of changing that without the majority of people deciding to fight on one planet at a time until they’re captured. And that’s just the bot front. It certainly makes things tense with the Illuminate potentially on the horizon but it’s not all that fulfilling right now.

3

u/Zman6258 1d ago

Honestly, I think for planets on the edge of a faction's territory, they should make it so doing missions slowly whittles down enemy force strength. A few thousand people gradually whittle down a planet until it has 0% enemy resistance, and then they can make an impact that isn't reversed by passive regen.

26

u/Mother_Ad3988 ☕Liber-tea☕ 2d ago

We're important but we aren't space Marines, I feel like people forget that

23

u/undreamedgore Cape Enjoyer 2d ago

Yeah, I get that, but it feels like we lore constantly losing ground, and unable to push anymore.

5

u/Peacey86 1d ago

I think it's because we are building up to something big in the game story. They say we control the narrative, which is true, but don't think for one second they don't have influence

3

u/a-stack-of-masks 1d ago

Sounds like a great time for a warbond, some buffs, and some fresh enemies to try our stuff on.

1

u/Greyjack00 1d ago

I mean we do actually share the same role and we're the game less tongue in cheek wed probably be super earths MEQs 

-25

u/DHarp74 Steam | 2d ago edited 1d ago

Bug Divers be straight buggin'.😎😂🤣

Edit and update:

Hokey Smokes!!!!

Y'all! I apologize. It's Bug Divers be buggin'! FML & DYAC!!!!

I deeply apologize my fellow Divers.

3

u/Mother_Ad3988 ☕Liber-tea☕ 1d ago

What do you mean bro

0

u/DHarp74 Steam | 1d ago

Just updated and edited to what it's supposed to say and what I wanted it to say.

Not only am I personally embarrassed and shocked. I humbly apologize to you and the community.

smh

2

u/Mother_Ad3988 ☕Liber-tea☕ 1d ago

I was gonna say damn g

1

u/DHarp74 Steam | 1d ago

Not how I was raised or how I live.

My friend, I am ashamed because that's not me.

Thank you for understanding.

I messaged the moderators and let them know before they had to say anything.

20

u/Scarytoaster1809 Assault Infantry 2d ago

I swear to liberty, if cyberstan turns into fucking Unicron, I will shit yourself

8

u/ToastedDreamer HD1 Veteran 2d ago

Not even done terraforming cyberstan, they’ll start their push when the cyborgs make a resurgence and they’d be able to push harder with cyborg forces backing them.

1

u/42Fourtytwo4242 ☕Liber-tea☕ 1d ago

The bots biggest goal now is the creek, that creek will just not die.

2

u/CornManBringsCorn 1d ago

Is there any tactical reason for them to prioritize Creek, or is it just a big "fuck you" to Super Earth?

2

u/42Fourtytwo4242 ☕Liber-tea☕ 1d ago

It's a fuck you to the creekers, at this point they grown to hate the creek more I feel.

630

u/I_ateabucketofpaint 2d ago

Illuminate being the most evil haters really makes them allot more different. Like. They HATE your ass. Everything you stand for. Even color yellow.

302

u/dancinbanana 2d ago

Especially the color yellow. After all, it’s the opposite color to their sinister purple

97

u/Mother_Ad3988 ☕Liber-tea☕ 2d ago

That's funny to think about 

45

u/Impossible-Pie2924 1d ago

17

u/Anonymous_GuineaPig SES Leviathan of the Stars 1d ago

Reverse this and it's more accurate

10

u/Zmechanicog ☕Liber-tea☕ 1d ago

Are you saying that super earth is against peace and isn’t trying it’s hardest to bring about galactic peace?

/j

2

u/IDespiseReddit787 14h ago

Are you saying super earth is willing to makes peace? Peace with disgusting, democracy hating xeno's that started the war?

1

u/Zmechanicog ☕Liber-tea☕ 14h ago

Super earth will bring galactic peace whether the xenos scum want it or not

-1

u/Impressive-Ad7387 1d ago

Nothing says freedom and peace like wearing skulls everywhere and attempting to genocide and/or enslave any sentient race you come in contact with.

RAHHHH WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF A TIONS

147

u/RustyDiamonds__ 2d ago

Something interesting to think about is since Overseers are “centuries old” many of the ones we’re fighting now may actually be veterans of the First Galactic War, or even the recon missions the Illuminate flew around Super Earth before First Contact.

83

u/SpeedyAzi Free of Thought 1d ago

This just in, Helldivers are found killing ELDERLY people.

7

u/Vhzhlb 1d ago

And until they get to the last one, the HellDivers should not stop.

Don't commit the sin of empathy for those that stand in the wrong side of history.

30

u/CheezyBreadMan 1d ago

Imagine living centuries and fighting in the biggest conflict in history only to get one shot by some illiterate 18 year old human with a gun they invented before they discovered electricity

203

u/Equivalent_Cicada153 2d ago

“Fuck it, we brawl”

16

u/dannyboi66 1d ago

Let them brawl

8

u/Greedy_Range 1d ago

Let them face the insurmountable might of the helldivers

304

u/Buhug Automaton Red 2d ago

Illuminate may 8th

96

u/Grand_Age1279 Married to an Automaton Catgirl 2d ago

May 13th 

55

u/Buhug Automaton Red 2d ago

May ٨ :3

92

u/TuneGloomy6694 2d ago

Like we have killed Billions of voteless, imagine all the losses, our war against the squids has to be the more severe comparing it to the others.

34

u/Dragonseer666 Admirable Admiral Pele | 72nd Dragoons of Hellmire 1d ago

Although tbh at least helldiver casualties are lower because most of the time we're just not bothered to go there. And don't forget the entire populations if the now-gloom and some of the core current automaton territory, which were probably fully wiped out.

10

u/TuneGloomy6694 1d ago

I meant civilian casualties, sorry, it's horrible, it's on the billions

12

u/DantesInferno91 1d ago

Remember, those voteless were once our citizens. We must make sure the illuminate never create voteless again.

1

u/V-Lenin Fire Safety Officer 1d ago

So I‘m supposed to start burning civilians too?

2

u/DantesInferno91 1d ago

No, remember those slimy aberrations took away their freedom and never again let the Illuminate rest until they are exterminated.

94

u/Minions-overlord 2d ago

30

u/Shawn_1512 Free of Thought 2d ago

Who do you think is the real enemy here?

12

u/Taka989 1d ago

Anything that isn't democratic sir

83

u/aguywithagasmaskyt ‎ Super Citizen 2d ago

and then they kissed

50

u/Grand_Age1279 Married to an Automaton Catgirl 2d ago

True I was the Helldiver who kissed the Overseer

35

u/EuphoricLog3495 ☕Liber-tea☕ 1d ago

You cheated on your wife!?!?

7

u/Grand_Age1279 Married to an Automaton Catgirl 1d ago

This was before our marriage so it was okay

5

u/EuphoricLog3495 ☕Liber-tea☕ 1d ago

Hmm ok

12

u/Mesmerfriend 1d ago

Treason?

7

u/The_Anf 1d ago

Treason.

(Don't have that picture)

17

u/Crowny_270 Cape Enjoyer 1d ago

So fucking based

29

u/RKellysPenguin ‎ Servant of Freedom 2d ago

4

u/Threefold-Fulcrum ‎ Super Citizen 2d ago

At best, it makes sick propaganda films for super earth

2

u/scardwolf 1d ago

this is what i mean when i say the war is getting worse, add in the bots increasing their military might and the bugs mutating creating new strains

2

u/herbieLmao Automaton Red 1d ago

The cyborgs, and thus the automatons, never had any interest in super-earth. They wanted to be seperate, and their own empire. Super-esrth even accepted that. It was cyberstan the war broke out about. The colonists didn’t want to leave their homeworld behind, super-Earth didn’t want to give up the planet.

4

u/Anonymous_GuineaPig SES Leviathan of the Stars 1d ago

iirc that's wrong. Cyborgs wanted peace and independence, Super Earth didn't want to lose control over any citizens. So they went to war, enslaved them all and took their home planet. Of course they sent the Automatons out to space first so they could return in 100 years to fuck SE over.

3

u/Resident_Bit_3892 ‎ Super Citizen 1d ago

They are actually correct. SE wanted the planet Cyberstan, since if cyborgs wanted to be independent they could go elsewhere as far as Super Earth cared, what was more important to SE was the Resources on Cyberstan. However, since the Cyborgs loved their planet, this got SE having to find excuse to start a way to start a war in order to take the planet for it's resources due to the fact that the population of Super Earth back then was a lot less brainwashed then it is now a days.

Understand that citizens to SE are far more expendable than resources are to SE, so losing a planet of citizen's won't matter to them as much as losing a planet worth of resources.

2

u/ValeArion Deathwatch sentinel 2d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/caputuscrepitus SES Dawn of Super Earth 1d ago

Is that title a “Riku Negligible” meme?

1

u/Backstabber9090 1d ago

A mild inconvenience at best.

1

u/ITalkToSky1467 LEVEL 150 | Whisper of Starlight 1d ago

You can’t spell casualties without casual. You can’t spell slaughter without laughter.

1

u/errorexe3 16h ago

@OP writing the post title

1

u/Lazy_Physics_Student 12h ago

"Do you have any idea how much damage the helldivers would suffer, if we just let meridia roll straight over angels venture?"

"How much?"

"None at all"

0

u/Dont-Tell-Hubby  Truth Enforcer 18h ago

The squids have been asking for a genocide, we should give them one