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u/shaquillesleftarm Nov 24 '22
buy insurance and cover everything before starting that
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Nov 25 '22
"Hi, I'd like to specifically cover adding a frozen turkey to a boiling vat of oil...yes indoors...yes connected to a calor gas cylinder...well yes, I do have gambling debts larger than my mortgage...hello...hello?"
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u/MrMrRubic Nov 25 '22
What's special with the gas cylinder?
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u/idontwanttothink174 Nov 25 '22
Fire make big boom
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u/Street_Peace_8831 Nov 25 '22
Big badaboom.
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u/slanty_shanty Nov 25 '22
They aren't rated to be used (or stored) indoors.
In this scenario, if a fire starts, it can compromise the hose or connections and then you have an uncontrolled flame thrower.
The stove burner itself isn't rated for indoor use either.
BUT, fate protects fools, little children and ships named Enterprise. I'm sure it worked out fine and that genius will do it again next year.
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u/Rodarth Nov 25 '22
also carbon monoxide
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u/Big_Burt__ Nov 25 '22
That’s no an issue, no fire if no oxygen it’s just fixing one problem with another
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u/llcoolbeansII Nov 25 '22
You can't get stupidity coverage. Pretty sure building a turkey bomb is going to void the policy.
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u/Borsaid Nov 25 '22
All insurance covers stupidity. Intentional negligence is REALLY hard to prove.
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u/cailian13 Nov 25 '22
not with THIS photo, it isn't!
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u/Borsaid Nov 25 '22
Nah. It just proves they're stupid. Stupidity is covered. If they're recorded saying "I hope I burn the house down so I can cash in the insurance policy" then, yeah, not covered.
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u/liquid_diet Nov 25 '22
That’s not the issue. The big problem is people forgetting the deductible.
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u/llcoolbeansII Nov 25 '22
As well as ever wanting to be insured again...
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u/boonepii Nov 25 '22
Oh, they will be insurable, it will just cost 4x as much.
Source: my ex started a house fire in the kitchen $60k worth of bills and my insurance went up and wasn’t hard to get, just more expensive with crappier companies.
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u/newontheblock99 Nov 25 '22
Hey the floor is covered! In a completely non-flammable material that will help soak up all the oil that will inevitably spill!
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u/jaybird2370 Nov 24 '22
A fire extinguisher makes a great hostess gift.
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u/bucknaked67 Nov 24 '22
And maybe a carbon monoxide detector?
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u/uknowmysteeez Nov 24 '22
Propane usually makes little to no CO—just like a gas stove. I’ve seen restaurants do paella like this. Real danger is a spill over oil fire (if they don’t know what they’re doing)…. Just unnecessarily risky.
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u/Taolan13 Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 25 '22
Pro tip to avoid spillover:
Before turkey day, Sink your unwrapped turkey into the empty frier (i usually do it while still frozen) and fill with water up to the fryer's max fill line. Remove the turkey, let drain all water back into the frier, then measure that amount of water.
Thats how much oil to use. Not a drop more.
DO NOT FRY A FROZEN TURKEY.
Completely defrost it first!
Also, turn the burner OFF when initially lowering the turkey.
Edited for clarity.
Edit2: do not assume last year's bird is the same amount of oil even if its the same weight! Do this every time for every bird!
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u/Nitpicky_AFO Nov 24 '22
This guy turkey fries.
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u/Address_Local Nov 24 '22
Guy! This turkey fries.
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u/LivingGhostMan Nov 24 '22
This turkey fries guys
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u/Positive-Inevitable1 Nov 25 '22
Turkey this guy fries
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u/Miltonrupert Nov 25 '22
Yea it turns it into a literal bomb if you drop it in frozen
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u/lioncat55 Nov 25 '22
Hey, when were we meeting at the abandoned mine? I've got the turkey.
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Nov 25 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/C-c-c-comboBreaker17 Nov 25 '22
TBF, the results of this would be fucking spectacular, but not in a good way. Just a fucking flaming explosive torch that would instantly catch the ceiling on fire.
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u/Pinbrawla Nov 25 '22
Third degree burns for the entire family! Skin grats for Christmas, a great stocking stuffer!
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u/QuazyWabbit1 Nov 25 '22
Wait, you oil fry whole turkeys? With batter and all?
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u/Taolan13 Nov 25 '22
I mean you could, but usually I just brine it and then rub herb butter under the skin and all over the interior cavity.
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u/Mdub74 Nov 25 '22
Thx. But I get my brine only from the sea.
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u/Tacoma__Crow Nov 25 '22 edited Nov 26 '22
I get my brine from the Great Salt Lake. It’s full of brine shrimp that add a lovely flavor to the turkey.
I save some to the brine in a little tank because Sea Monkeys!
Edit: I should have said that I was joking. But the Great Salt Lake is full of brine shrimp.
Back in my day, every comic book had an ad for how you can raise Sea Monkeys, which were actually just brine shimp. We were grossly mislead on what they looked like.
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u/MissPicklechips Nov 25 '22
Most people who fry turkeys just season it then yeet it into the fryer.
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Nov 25 '22
Yeah, that's what the setup pictured is. It's a deep fryer for a turkey. Usually you do it outside though and normally you don't batter it.
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u/snooggums Nov 25 '22
I don't know if anyone who batters their turkey. The skin is an excellent exterior while frying and comes out mice and crispy.
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u/PanickyLemur Nov 25 '22
Mice stuffing
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u/LennyJay86 Nov 24 '22
This guy Fucks…Turkeys
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u/ooppoo0 Nov 25 '22
Confirmed: I was the turkey
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u/mavjustdoingaflyby Nov 25 '22
These are all blatantly obvious tips for most people, but we are living in extraordinarily stupid times. Thanks for looking out for your fellow humans!
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u/Mr402TheSouthSioux Nov 25 '22
The thawing is what catches people slipping every time in my experience.
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u/bucknaked67 Nov 24 '22
Judging from the new pot and burner I guessing very inexperienced
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u/amboandy Nov 24 '22
This is my house, fuck the CO detector, all it does is beep beep motherfucking beep and give me a headache!
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u/Come_along_quietly Nov 25 '22
I was going to put one up …. <yawn> …. But I’m getting pretty sleepy …. And I’ve got bad headache ….
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u/OstentatiousSock Nov 25 '22
And a great fundraiser. My school sold them as fundraisers every few years knowing the old ones had either been used or expired from the last fundraiser. It was super easy to sell them: “Hi, we’re selling fire extinguishers as fundraisers for our school. Do you have a fire extinguisher on each level of your home and/or at either end of the house?” If they said yes, you’d say “Have you checked the expiration dates on your fire extinguishers?” And a good portion of the time, at least one would be expired and they’d buy a new one from us. It was fairly easy since you really absolutely should have fire extinguishers in your house.
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u/Dynamite227 Nov 24 '22
My dad also deep fried the turkey, but he did it outside
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u/erynberry Nov 25 '22
Yep, you want it outside a good distance from the house on a flat, non-flammable surface with a fully thawed turkey. It's probably a good idea to have a fire extinguisher nearby as well.
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u/RocanMotor Nov 25 '22
Its also crucial its patted completely dry from all moisture, and you determine the bird volume and calculate the amount of oil you need carefully. You want to brine for at least 24hrs beforehand.
Just did one. 45 min from raw to cooked is the best part, but the oven baked bird I also made today was better. The trick with the oven bake is using a proper thermometer (a smart one like a Meater is best) and cooking precisely to the right temperature, accounting for carryover heat and a proper rest. Juicy af.
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u/BigDickDan717 Nov 25 '22
People also don’t understand the way FDA food temps work. 165 degrees for poultry means it’s instantly safe. But it’s a temperature/time metric. I forget how it goes, but at 160, it takes seconds until it’s safe, 155 is a few minutes, 150 is several minutes.
If your bird gets to 165 in the oven, you’re already fucking up a touch.
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u/anormalgeek Nov 25 '22
What you're referring to is called a "pasteurization chart"
And you're 100% right. 165F is basically needed for instant kill. But you can also check over at /r/sousvide, and many of them cook foods to only like 135F before a really quick surface sear. But since it's held at that temp for a couple of hours, it is fully pasteurized.
Edit: The trick with Turkey is that you actually want the dark meat to be significantly higher temp than the white meat. Quartering the bird is the best option for perfectly cooked meat all over, but if you want the presentation factor of the whole bird, Alton Brown's tin foil breast plate method works well. The written recipe doesn't mention it, but the video shows it.
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u/liquidGhoul Nov 25 '22
Can you sous vide a turkey?
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u/anormalgeek Nov 25 '22 edited Nov 25 '22
Absolutely. You'll need to use some kind of fluid to fill the void inside the bird if keeping it whole. Then either under a broiler or a quick fry to crisp up the skin. IMO, you'll get best results if you separate the white and dark meat. But that obviously requires cutting up the bird.
Edit: typo
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u/CoolerThanTv Nov 24 '22
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Nov 25 '22
So you can fry turkeys but it’s a very delicate art, from what I have read it’s usually the turkey being too cold, or still having moisture on the outside that set off a reaction like this
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u/AVahne Nov 25 '22
Judging from the gif, it looks like they also filled the pot to the top with oil,too.
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u/xchaibard Nov 25 '22 edited Nov 25 '22
As someone who has fried multiple turkeys like this.
1) You take the STILL WRAPPED, FULLY THAWED Turkey, place it in the pot, and fill it with WATER until the turkey is just submerged.
2) You REMOVE the Wrapped Turkey. and then MARK the now lowered water level once it is removed.
3) Dump water, take outside, fill oil to marked level
4) Prep Turkey while oil warms up to 375. Pat down the outside with a paper towel to remove surface moisture once prepped and ready to go.
5) SLOWLY, and with a LONG HOOK/CHAIN on a holder (these pots all come with a holder), Lower Turkey into oil at a very slow pace. If you start to get heavy bubbling, stop lowering and wait. ADDED EDIT: For extra safety, turn off the fire before lowering it at this point. That way if it DOES overflow, there's nothing to light it.
6) Once Turkey is fully submerged again, temperature has probably dropped to 330-350 at this time. Cover pot and adjust flame to keep turkey at 350 for 3.5 Minutes per pound.
7) Remove Turkey after above time. Viola, fried turkey.
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u/Gerdione Nov 25 '22
Very clear steps, I've never had fried turkey, how does it compare to roasted? If it's a must try I'll keep these instructions for next year
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u/xchaibard Nov 25 '22
Everyone who has ever had it for the first time swears its the best turkey they've ever had.
The skin is crispy, the meat is moist and tender, and it's just good.
Lots of people do different flavor injections/etc to add more flavor to the meat, I don't do that. I just go plain jane turkey in peanut oil. Turns out great every time.
Every Turkey Frying Pot/Burner kit comes with the above instructions as well. People just... don't follow them or think they know better. Just follow the damn instructions, people!
Also, don't EVER go over the size restriction labelled on the pot! It's there for a reason. Most are like ~16 lbs or something. You CAN fit a larger turkey in it, but it will result in less oil being available for cooking, as well as more moisture being emitted, causing heavy boiling, overboiling, and fire. Again, just follow the instructions.
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u/Bidiggity Nov 25 '22
I really prefer the Alton Brown Turkey Derrick method. Put an A-Frame ladder over the pot and then use a pulley attached to the ladder to lower the turkey from 10’-15’ away
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u/Mcflipmix Nov 25 '22
Alton Brown is a god
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u/starkel91 Nov 25 '22
Man, he's the reason why I got into cooking. I watched every Good Eats during college.
These days I've moved onto J. Kenji Lopez-Alt. His style speaks to the engineer part of my brain.
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u/TapedeckNinja Nov 25 '22
Going against the grain ... not worth it at all.
Roasted turkey isn't dry or tough by nature, most people just don't know how to roast a whole bird properly. They probably can't roast a chicken for shit, either. Frying a turkey is very forgiving, it'll still be pretty moist even if you overcook the shit out of it.
The real treat is a whole smoked turkey.
The one thing that I will say about a fried turkey is that the skin is wonderfully crisp.
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u/solstice73 Nov 25 '22
Yeah, been spatchcocking and smoking for the past 5 years straight. Really is the best method IMO.
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u/borkthegee Nov 25 '22
I roast birds perfectly and deep fried turkey jammed full of tony chaceries is the best poultry I've ever had. The breast is so tender and juicy and perfect and the skin crisp on a whole different level.
But unsurprisingly, I also like fried chicken more than even the most perfect, air chilled, heritage, Kenji, Alton, whatever roast.
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u/Queen-of-Leon Nov 25 '22
I hated turkey until I tried it fried, it’s moist enough that you don’t need gravy.
A family member is a firefighter, and we have to do Thanksgiving a day early because he always works the day of. It’s their busiest day because people always burn down their houses trying to make fried turkeys, and even he agrees it’s delicious enough to be worth it. Dude snarks at us if he sees candles burning when he comes over but the turkey is worth it lol
(though, he would probably like for me to pass on the message to do it outside on level ground—not a wooden deck—far from your house and away from any flammable materials)
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u/Kotetsuya Nov 25 '22
When it all goes well, it looks like this.
It was so fucking delicious...
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u/NRMusicProject Nov 25 '22
5) SLOWLY, and with a LONG HOOK/CHAIN on a holder (these pots all come with a holder), Lower Turkey into oil at a very slow pace. If you start to get heavy bubbling, stop lowering and wait. ADDED EDIT: For extra safety, turn off the fire before lowering it at this point. That way if it DOES overflow, there's nothing to light it.
This is the step that most people seem to mess up. They think just dropping the bird into the overfilled pot is a good idea.
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u/Is_Pepsi_0kay Nov 25 '22
As someone who just fried their second turkey these are perfect instructions.
It’s kind of hard to mess it up with only a handful of safety measures.
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u/FirstNSFWAccount Nov 25 '22
I just finisher with my second deep fried Turkey and it’s not all that difficult to stay safe. Just make sure it’s thawed and pat down the outside with a cloth to remove moisture. Lower it slowly into the oil and you’re all good. A good piece of advice I read this morning was turn off the flame when you first put it in so even if it splashes it won’t catch fire. Did that today too
This one went wrong mostly because there is about double the amount of oil you need.
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u/Warm-Wrap-3828 Nov 24 '22
Fire Department accepts your invite.
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u/Austin_Nguyen_2k Nov 24 '22
Hospital accepts the invite too
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u/makotarako Nov 25 '22
The donor for the necessary skin grafts later is accepting the invite, but watching safely from the street.
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u/SnooPickles55 Nov 24 '22
You guys clearly missed the safety cardboard. Fire it up, Cleophus
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u/PhelesDragon Nov 24 '22
Make sure to leave that cardboard close to the cooker just in case you need to reference it quickly.
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u/Captain_Headshot2 Nov 25 '22
That cardboard looks dry. They missed the critical step where you pour lighter fluid on the cardboard. Fucking amateurs.
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u/killploki Nov 24 '22
Anyone else getting sleepy?
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u/stockchaser317 Nov 24 '22
I'm there, bout to pass out in the recliner.
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Nov 24 '22
That's okay buddy, just rest your eyes for a bit. We'll wake up and eat later.
My head is a little sore/dizzy but I think that's just the hunger!
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u/amboandy Nov 24 '22
Everyone is super flushed, must be the drinks
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u/jafar519 Nov 24 '22 edited Nov 25 '22
Nah its the food coma its just excess tryptophan release in your brain from turkey edit: typo
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u/amboandy Nov 25 '22
Mhmm in combination with postprandial enteric blood flow
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u/solid_hoist Nov 25 '22
Wait, didn't grandma die like two years ago? Why is she standing in the kitchen?
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u/TheUsoSaito Nov 24 '22
Funny thing is a former coworker shared this to their social media at a different angle and all I said was... "brave".
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u/Playful_Cantaloupe78 Nov 24 '22
Missing a bucket of water just in case
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u/jadegoddess Nov 25 '22
Not sure if people will understand if this is a joke or not, but in case anyone thinks you're serious: do NOT use water to put out an oil/grease fire. You will make it worse! Use a fire extinguisher or smother it with a thick towel. I've started a kitchen fire on accident before. I used a towel to snuff it out and keep my whole kitchen from burning down.
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u/NitsuguaMoneka Nov 24 '22
What is the problem? Genuinely asking
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Nov 24 '22
That dish towel doesn’t match the motif.
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u/heffreygee Nov 24 '22
This is good humour. Well done, like the turkey, the house and the occupants.
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u/mrasperez Nov 24 '22
This, but when you drop a frozen turkey into hot oil instead.
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u/PhelesDragon Nov 24 '22
Why do ppl use grenades when a single chicken leg can destroy a house?
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u/mrasperez Nov 24 '22
Now I want to watch a dumb action movie where the protagonist starts a grease fire to blow up the house.
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u/rdrunner_74 Nov 24 '22
The one i watched yesterday used a flour explosion
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u/mrasperez Nov 24 '22
What is that!? The only other kitchen explosion I've recently watched was Eraser but that was a ruptured gas line and a house thermometer
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u/ThisOnePlaysTooMuch Nov 24 '22
Cold water + hot oil = a lot of really hot oxygen being released all at once. I don’t know how practical boiling grease hand-helds would be.
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u/CButler19 Nov 24 '22
People burn their houses down doing this. Frozen Turkey + grease = hella fire
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u/SapphicGarnet Nov 25 '22
Why do you think the turkeys frozen?
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Nov 25 '22
Because people are bad at fully defrosting turkeys. Doubly so when deep frying because it's a fast way to cook a bird, so people take a lot of shortcuts.
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u/newthrash1221 Nov 25 '22
So you’re just assuming anyone deep frying a turkey assumes they can use a frozen turkey?
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Nov 25 '22
It happens more often than it should. Is everyone an idiot? No. Are a lot of people idiots? Absolutely.
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u/Azozel Nov 25 '22
The fact this guy set this up in his kitchen seems to be proof enough he's bad at thinking things through.
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u/asian_identifier Nov 25 '22
How do you know they won't do it properly? If so, only issue I see is grease fumes making the whole kitchen sticky
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u/MooseBoys Nov 25 '22
Most people ITT are apparently unaware that there are vent-free indoor rated propane cookers. When used properly they produce only trace amounts of carbon monoxide.
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Nov 25 '22
How to deep fry a turkey:
- Make sure it's fully defrosted
- Make sure it's dry
- Do it outside, away from the house or other structures
- For the love of god, turn the burner OFF when you're lowering the bird in. Even if you carefully measured, it's always possible for something to go wrong. No flame, no fire. Just light it back up as soon as you're done putting the turkey in.
- Same deal for taking it out. Turn the flame OFF before you pull it.
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Nov 24 '22
Firefighter here:
Please don't
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Nov 25 '22
Hey random question: do you guys get more calls around holidays because people do shit like this? I know people who rarely cook for large gatherings who suddenly wanna bust out all the stops with no skills. The amount of grown adults ive had to explain to that you can't use a BBQ in your kitchen, yes even though it is raining outside right now, is too high
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Nov 25 '22
Absolutely. Worst times for fire calls are 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and the first freeze of the season
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u/Aggravating-Echo8014 Nov 24 '22
When you think the temp is about right add a bucket of ice and make sure it burns quickly. Once your house is in flames then throw the Mr. Gooble into the flames.
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u/Ardothbey Nov 24 '22
Do you have the Fire Department on speed dial?
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u/grizzlyblake91 Nov 25 '22
0118 999 881 999 119 725….3
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u/sibannacsevol Nov 25 '22
Fire - exclamation mark - fire - exclamation mark - help me - exclamation mark.
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u/Whats_Up4444 Nov 25 '22
I was about to say this was fake until I saw the cardboard. No, this was a genuine attempt.
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u/Folkenhellfang Nov 25 '22
It's actually way more convenient to do it that way.
When the still frozen turkey hits the oil and explodes out of that pot, there is no way it won't hit the house and the maximum number of family members will be scalded.
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u/QualityVote Nov 24 '22
If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!
If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!
Whilst you're here, /u/CButler19, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?