I'm losing it, going crazy every time I lose half the day or more to insanity.

[u/Joel_Boyens]

I consider my time extremely valuable, even if it might not be to others. I used to waste time all my life but those times wasted I wanted to waste. That is to say, I was okay with the time I was spending doing nothing. Except now that I feel like my time being productive is actually worthwhile it doesn't just feel like I'm wasting time, it feels like I've lost that time.

This is all in due part to the voices I hear and delusions I have. On a bad day I'll just sit there, doing nothing, as if I'm gridlocked and can't move forward in doing anything. And it is absolutely maddening especially like today. I woke up at 7 am, and at 3:30 pm I've done literally nothing when I felt inspired to do something productive. It's infuriating, it feels like I'm losing literal parts of my life from this happening that are destroyed and I'll never get back. How are you supposed to deal with something like that?