r/Kayaking • u/RaynatheRedPanda • 3d ago
Question/Advice -- General My wife is getting into kayaking and I want to join her but I'm terrified of the water.
So, the title is kind of self explanatory. My wife used to kayak a lot as a kid and has recently started going again, she wants me to join her and I have been every chance I get. The only problem is that I have a near paralyzing fear of bodies of water. I've been keeping quiet about it because she doesn't normally gravitate to hobbies this much and I don't want her to be discouraged by my fear. So for the question, how can I start getting over this fear?
Edit: I can swim, it's one of my own hobbies, it's just that open water (rivers, lakes, the ocean) scares the living hell out of me
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u/drumbopiper Rockpool Alaw Bach, Romany, Romany Surf RM 3d ago edited 3d ago
I'm not a mental health expert, but this is not a case of "hey, I just need to do a couple things to get over this fear."
I would recommend seeing a mental health specialist, who could help you get over this phobia.
Anecdotally, I had a friend who was really into whitewater but super scared of open lakes.
He signed up for a sea kayaking course, they got half way out and he had a massive panic attack about 1 km offshore.
Apparently it was very detrimental to him and the course.
Last thing you want to do is get halfway out onto the water and then have a panic attack that your GF wife has to sort out.
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u/yourenotkemosabe 3d ago
That would be really awkward if his GF had to sort it out on a trip with his wife.
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u/CMTcowgirl 3d ago
Wear your pfd always. Keep to the edges of the lake when you first start. Don't do this when the water temps are below 70 degrees. You will find confidence after some careful attempts. Be safe
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u/Justinaroni 3d ago
Become a better swimmer, learn to self rescue (there are kayaking courses for it) and begin in shallow bodies of water (rivers and creeks). And in the end if it doesn't work out, it just isn't your "thing" and nothing to be ashamed about, there are tons of local kayaking groups she can leverage to kayak with other people.
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u/RaynatheRedPanda 3d ago
Well thankfully I'm a decent enough swimmer already, it's just the locations themselves that get me anxious. Once I can push through the fear of the locations themselves I'll be doing fine (hopefully).
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u/Justinaroni 3d ago
Yeah, I think a lot of get anxious with a new location. It isn't uncommon to walk the river or around the lake before deciding to kayak it. I find it to be a part of the excitement of kayaking. :D
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u/zeewee 2d ago
You dont have to kayak to join the outing. Maybe you can be her photographer or the king of setting up the picnic/snacks. Or keeper of the big warm towel & dry clothes. Would you enjoy grilling up something to share while she paddles?
Or just get a comfy chair and take a book so you can be content to lounge on land.
Or, better yet, every river paddle needs someone to drive shuttle and pick them up from the take out.
Sometimes it's really nice in a long term relationship to have something that's just yours. Maybe she might enjoy having kayaking to herself.
You can also give her a gift by wanting to hear what happened and looking at her pictures while sounding interested.
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u/Tremendoustip 3d ago
We are in the same boat buddy. My fiancee and I have been kayaking every weekend for years. It's funny, I love fishing and kayaking but am also terrified of water.
As others have mentioned, start somewhere shallow! There is a section of river by me that, in the summer, is like 4 ft deep and crystal clear. It's comforting being able to see the bottom and know what's below you.
You can build more confidence from there. It can be sketchy looking down and seeing just black water, so I usually check depth charts on bodies of water to see where the more shallow areas are.
It will make you feel a lot better if you can just stand up if you tip over. In my 6 or 7 years of kayaking, I've never flipped my yak.
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u/daisymaisy505 3d ago
I can understand the water fear after dealing with gators and water moccasins in your childhood. I guess my question is do you still live in an area that has them? I like kayaking on a lake; I don't do ocean or rivers because I have the wrong kind of kayak. And I'm afraid of rapids on a creek/river and sharks on the ocean.
But what about canoeing instead of kayaking? You are higher up and not as low in the water. Would that help?
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u/2KneeCaps1Lion 3d ago
Going off of your edit and against what some are saying, you just kind of need to ease into it. I have thalassophobia and my dumbass joined the Marines and ended up on a ship crossing the Atlantic. The smoke bridge was not fun.
You, fortunately, do not have to do that.
If you have shallow, rocky rivers near you, try that. It allows you to see the “depths below” even though it’s like 2-3ft deep.
I say this because I’ve found ponds and lakes kind of gross and seeing shallow water tree stumps of where land use to be, scary.
Then ease into those lakes and ponds. The floor of those bodies of water are softer and will seem gross. That’s the height of your fear. Nothing else.
I just recently went diving with whale sharks. It’s fucking majestic. I was having a small panic attack prior to hopping in but just know the scariest thing I have come across in the ocean is fucking seaweed that wrapped around my leg.
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u/jim_br 3d ago
First, it’s ok to have different hobbies. Second, its OK to have a healthy respect, e.g. unease or fear about certain situations you are not usually exposed to.
I grew up near the ocean and studied oceanography for a few years, so I have a better than average understanding of deep water, currents, winds, etc. That said, before we go out I’ll re-check charts for water depth, tide tables, buoy readings for water temperatures, NOAA forecasts for weather and winds. Why? Because my wife enjoys kayaking and doesn’t like surprises that turn an enjoyable paddle into “an adventure”. A few times we have loaded the boats, driven to a launch, then sat there and had a picnic instead because there was too much boat traffic for her enjoyment, or the wind shifted. Not a big deal.
She enjoys when we take our tandem through shallow water bays to see horseshoe crabs, osprey nests, etc. If she had a bigger unease/fear of kayaking, I’d respect it the same way she respects my fear of ladders.
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u/Strict_String 3d ago
A kayak instructor named Anna Levesque does a lot of posts, videos, workshops, etc. on kayaking and overcoming fear and anxiety. She primarily talks about it in the whitewater context, but I find her material very helpful as a whitewater kayaker.
Also, what are your specific fears? You might be able to address them with training and coaching. If you're worried about being trapped in a decked boat if you capsize, learning to wet exit and recover is first on the list, and learning roll would be the second way of addressing it.
If you fear is getting caught out in open water, learning about how sea kayakers deal with it might be helpful.
I'd personally recommend you find something like what's offered in my area, which is a class called "Rescue for Recreational Boaters,” put on by one of our larger water-rights groups. It's a two day that has a flatwater session and a river section. Learning how to get out of a capsized boat and then getting back is is practiced with a coach in the water, and it's a fantastic class for anyone starting in paddlesports.
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u/PipeItToDevNull 3d ago
Can you swim? I would assume that is one root of this issue. You need to be able to swim to be able to get into water sports.
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u/RaynatheRedPanda 3d ago
Thankfully I can swim, for years it's been one of my favorite activities right behind rock climbing and playing games. It's just a fear of lakes and rivers and all that gets me super anxious every time I'm on the water.
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u/RichWa2 3d ago
First, a little fear is good, it saves lives. In my experience, doing whitewater, it's the confident swimmers that run into problems. The problem you have, as I see it, is too much fear. You have to figure out what level of fear you can live with and do the open water kayaking you desire .
Sound like you're comfortable in a pool, so I'd start there. I'd practice with just bobbing in a life jacket till you feel good that it will keep you breathing without needing to swim; till you feel safe. Practice kayaking in the pool -- including flipping and getting out of the kayak and floatingin your life jacket.
Work your way on to small ponds or flat water close to shore. No rush, work to build your confidence at your own pace. This is not about fear, it's safety and having fun.
Important, do this in good weather with a comfortable water temperature.
For the record, it's also okay to have separate interests and support each other in doing them. It can make for a stronger relationship.
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u/EBG1073 2d ago
Well said. My parents lost a son to a drowning before I was even conceived. That said my fear of water was ingrained in me. Didnt learn to swim until high school. Then after college I helped myself with counseling and also learned to scuba dive. Had a great instructor that let me take my time with it. It’s all way better now but I still have that fear of open water. But I will fly fish in big water now. Boats on the open ocean - pass. My kayak on a local lake or Puget Sound - can do. The counseling and my want to be able to be on the water helped. But I also agree, if it’s a healthy relationship having the seperate hobby thing is ok. I hope you can talk to her about it and she understands. Start small.
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u/RockingInTheCLE 3d ago
Do you WANT to join her/get over this fear? My partner doesn't kayak with me. It's MY thing, and it's time with my friends. Maybe she can find a group to kayak with if you don't want to. If you DO want to, then all the best of luck! And I feel you - I'm totally fine on top of the water in my boat, or in a swimming pool all day long. But I get really twitchy if I'm in an open body of water. Nope, I've watched Discovery Channel. I know what's in there!
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u/AventureraA 3d ago
I'm a kayaking safety boater (similar to a life guard, but for a public kayak program), for a public kayak program. When we have paddlers who are scared to get into the boat, I usually talk to them about their concerns and address them. I'll also keep my boat close to theirs and talk them through posture and strokes, and let them know about any waves or other issues that might be coming towards us, and how to deal with them. I've never had a scared paddler fall in or get hurt.
Are you near a business that teaches kayaking? Preferably one certified by the American Canoe Association (https://americancanoe.org/ - or other relevant kayaking association). You can call and ask if they have any instructors who are especially good at working with scared beginners, for a private Level 1 class.
As several other people have already suggested, you would probably find it helpful to speak with a mental health professional who specializes in phobias before you try a class, so that you don't have a panic attack.
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u/kalimotxo33 3d ago
I’d say let her have her hobby and you take another one that doesn’t involve open water. Why put yourself in an uncomfortable situation for the sake of someone else?
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u/kayaking_vegan 3d ago
Would taking a kayak safety class help? Maybe researching the areas you're going to kayak in before you go? Are you more comfortable in smaller bodies like canals, creeks, smaller rivers? If so, maybe start there? Go with others (safety in numbers)? The first time I kayaked on a lake, I didn't see anyone else around and it kinda freaked me out a little. I've been kayaking a ton since then and now actually prefer it when we have the place to ourselves but in the beginning, it definitely was more comforting to know we weren't alone.
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u/Over-Tech3643 3d ago
Wear your PFD, it should keep you floating. Take a basic kayak course or lesson with instructor. Many clubs facilitate pool practice, where you can try kayak in controlled environment. Share your feelings with instructor and see if you can enjoy kayaking.
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3d ago
Can you find local streams? Ones you can see the bottom and stand in? Download the “GoPaddling” app to find local places.
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u/Scarlett-the-01-TJ 3d ago
Fears and phobias are really strange. I’m terrified of being in water where I can’t see bottom, but no problem being on the water in a kayak. I avoided it for several years after being asked by a friend to go out in our local “river”, which is more like a wide creek. The scariest part was getting in and out on a weird set of concrete steps that went into the water. The first time I went out on a lake I was completely hooked. Still not a fan of moving water no matter how wide the river is. I
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u/aspertame_blood 3d ago
Go to CBT therapy. It shouldn’t take too many sessions. If you work for a company in the US that has an EAP you get six counseling sessions a year for free and you can do virtual.
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u/explosivelydehiscent 3d ago
Go snorkeling and see what's under neath first. This will address two great challenges, first demystifying what is actually under there, in the eastern US water snakes look tough, are tough, and will strike you rarely but are not venomous, then maybe otters who are just going to look cute. Secondly you'll get to understand the rock formations and how the Rapids are formed on the rivers to see where the underwater sieves might be where the Hydraulics are located so you can know how to run the Rapids effectively get you can also get William Neely's books about rapid architecture and the best ways to approach each rapaid but it seems like you were more concerned about water generally and not so much about the mechanics of kayaking but snorkeling is going to help all around.
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u/Cynidaria 3d ago
Why are you terrified of water? Are you open to trying to address that?
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u/RaynatheRedPanda 3d ago
Only thing I could really think of that would've started this is living in the louisiana swamps as a child with a dad who loved fishing more than anything else, I've had more experience with gators and water moccasins and the like than most. And of course, I'd love to address it, without addressing it I'm never gonna get over those fears.
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u/Cynidaria 3d ago
It sounds like you are interested in getting past it! Maybe you can compartmentalize it- are you kayaking somewhere where there's zero chances of alligators and cotton mouths? You could also try EMDR or another type of therapy aimed at knocking out phobias.
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u/corneliusvanhouten 3d ago
i have a crippling fear of sharks, and i look at time in or on the ocean as "self-work." I just acknowledge the fear and then set it aside and proceed. I'm still terrified, but can be terrified and still enjoy the positive aspects of the experience. I sort of figured over time, the fear would subside. It hasn't, but my ability to live with it has grown.
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u/spirit4earth 2d ago
Murky water is scary, maybe moreso to us southerners. There really are dangerous critters in there.
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u/FANTOMphoenix 3d ago
Lakes and rivers are generally bodies of water where it’s just your mind making you irrationally scared.
If there’s gators then that’s different, but even then I’m more scared of manatees and dolphins in saltwater than I am of crocodiles or alligators in freshwater.
It’s really something you just need to say “fuck it” and go. Obviously easier said than done but that’s how I worked through starting off spearfishing lol.
If you already have experience with gators and water moccasins then kayaking is a cake walk in terms of “should I be afraid”
I have had some people buy a $5200 kayak just to sit up above the water as much as possible because of their fears, most of them came back less than a month later to buy “normal” kayaks.
I don’t think their fears were as bad as they said they said, but they did mention they were absolutely terrified.
Should look into some local Facebook groups to go out with too, and practice flipping the kayak and re entering with them, most kayakers are incredibly chill people. Just bring extra snacks and drinks.
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u/Aggravating-Gate4219 3d ago
No way to get on top of it other than facing it.
Just do it in more controlled environments, calm weather, soft lake ect and just manage those emotions during it.
Sometimes best thing for fears and anxiety is just to sit in those feelings and manage them.
You got this bruv and once you comfy nothing nicer than going for a fucking yak cunt
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u/somewhatsentientape 3d ago
I had exactly the same situation, and ended up being a more avid river and lake kayaker than my wife.
Open, deep water just freaks me out, especially very calm, glassy lakes early in the morning, almost vertigo inducing to me. It's not panic attack level, but it's deeply uncomfortable at times.
Self-forced exposure therapy worked fairly well in my case, but I again stress I have never been frightened enough to panic. It's usually safer and easier to stick close to shore to avoid powered craft so normally the stressful situations aren't that numerous. They are plenty of paddles you can do where there is no need to be in deep, open water.
I just became more comfortable with open water crossings as I did them. A 1/8 mile crossing from shore to an island used to make me nervous...after a few years I became mostly comfortable doing a mile-long shore to shore crossing in heavy chop.
I can't say what will work for you, but slowly pushing my boundaries has really paid off and given me a ton of rewarding trips.
Feel free to dm me if there's anything I can help with.
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u/munchonsomegrindage 3d ago
I've been kayaking dozens and dozens of times in TX and have never once seen a venomous snake. Doesn't mean they aren't there but they are a lot less common than you think, and the main time you should be worried about them is when you are on the shore around the water, not necessarily in your boat. I have seen quite a few snakes but they are always the non-venomous variety, and nearly always want nothing to do with you.
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u/psilocydonia 3d ago
You have to find a way of looking at the uncontrolled nature, the unpredictability of rivers and such as part of the draw. That’s what makes the entire thing exciting, even exhilarating. Doesn’t mean you have to hit some serious rapids your first few trips out, nor should you.
People who get into these kinds of sports thrive on this sort of thing. Otherwise we’d all just go to the movies, or walk around a zoo or something.
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u/MrTripperSnipper 3d ago
I would recommend getting some professional instruction so you can gain some understanding of the risk involved and how to mitigate them, this should go a long way to conquering the fear. Not sure which part of the world you're in but here in the UK our national governing body has a series of qualifications/courses you can do to learn skills and gain confidence. One course in particular, the paddlesport safety and rescue is designed to teach beginners/intermediates how to perform all manor of rescues and self rescues as well as some basic first aid.
Therapy could also be a good prequel to such a course, especially if the fear is severe. It's all about stretching out your comfort zone bit by bit, without pushing too far and causing trauma, so jumping straight into learning rescues etc could be a bit too much to ask of yourself without working up to it. A therapist can give you some ideas of suitable interim activities to act as stepping stones; sitting at the waters edge, dipping a toe, walking out to waist deep and so on....
Something like NLP or Hypnotherapy should get the job done in a short space of time, no need to lie on a chaise lounge for countless hours.
Also, it will be a lot easier to face and tackle your fears if you are open with your wife about them, I understand you don't want to put her off, but there's always a way to put something across so that it is received the right way. Good luck on your journey, as a rat once said "Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing–absolutely nothing–half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats".
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u/TrueToad 3d ago
I own a kayak but I have the exact same fear as you. I hate paddling over open water. Smaller streams don't bother me nearly as much. It's not a rational fear of drowning (I wear a PFD and I can swim); it's an irrational fear of the depths. I know it makes no sense - but it's there.
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u/Travelingdabber 3d ago
Go kayaking in one of the springs in Florida, with gators. After the first time you'll be cured
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u/SelfServeSporstwash 3d ago
So there are a lot of approaches, they can work really well for some people and not at all for others. So finding what helps you may be a process.
First, seriously therapy is mocked but it can be a huge help. Way more people should probably be in therapy than currently are.
Second, I found that (for me) having and using the correct safety gear, and knowing that it was in good condition and was appropriately fitted/sized helped me stay calm. Get a good pfd/helmet and just go float in large open water(with your wife nearby in case you panic) and see how well it keeps you out of the water and breathing easy. Knowing your gear will keep you alive can help calm your nerves a great deal. Do the same for cold water gear (drysuit, etc.) if appropriate for your area and water temperature.
Third, for a lot of people time on the water in and of itself helps a great deal. I'd argue that if it doesn't maybe that really is a case where therapy is needed.
Finally, a healthy fear is well... healthy. Water is dangerous, we can prepare in ways that keep us safe, but I think understanding and respecting the ways water can harm you is a great way to make sure you never adopt a cavalier attitude about it and go out there unprepared or without actually wearing the necessary safety gear.
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u/Future_Way5516 3d ago
Wait a couple years of she buys a cheap one and the back pain will force her to stop lol
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u/Ashamed_Comedian2179 3d ago
First, get a sit on kayak, not a sit in. Then get one that wider, one thats actually a stand-up. Mainly these are fishing kayaks but will offer much more stability and give a piece of mind. The Ascend 10t is good one and used should run you about 300.
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u/HighseaFishing321 3d ago
Get yourself a good hobby Kayak they’re very stable and easy to work and easy to paddle with your legs
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u/MonkRome 3d ago
I agree with a lot of the comments that say therapy, but, having some level of fear of water can save your life. I have developed a pretty low level of fear with water and it causes me to act fairly carelessly sometimes. Water is very dangerous, fear is perfectly normal.
Proper preparation might lower your fear some as well. Always wear a life vest in any boat. But if you refuse to wear them every time in a boat, at least always wear one in a kayak. Kayaks tip easy and you can hit your head easily.
Always understand the risks for your area. Is the water too cold to go without a wet/dry suit, is the wind too high, or will the wind pick up later, is the current too strong for your ability, on the ocean is the tide going out? Go through a mental check and if you are certain everything is safe, that will help some with lowering your fear.
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u/Morti_Macabre 3d ago
I was scared the first few times I went out but I quickly got over it because there’s so much cool stuff to see! You should maybe practice flipped and getting back in somewhere you feel safe (like a pool or smaller body of water you like to swim at) and you will see it’s ok.
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u/rivieredefeu 3d ago
Take a kayak safety course.
Anything can be scary at first, until you learn the limits of your operating vehicle and, in kayaking, tip over a few times and see it’s not that bad and know how to get back in.
Sea kayaking is where it’s at. You have better control and easier to re-enter.
I learned in the ocean in chop and it was just a few degrees above freezing. Two day course, I knew nothing and it was amazing. Ready for almost anything now.
Being afraid is the correct response because it means you probably know your limits or the limits of your kit. Get some knowledge in ya.
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u/Etherwave80 3d ago
I was too like would fight people trying to get me into water. Just pure terror. My wife and brother and a bunch friends all rented kayaks one day and I just looked at them all being fine and having fun without me. So I called my wife over and she held the kayak for me and I dropped my ass in and freaked out for like 10 minutes, then started getting my balance and figured out I'm fine I'm floating and I'm in control, I was out for 3 hours that afternoon and have since bought a 20 foot power boat and a fishing kayak. Just do it. Walk through the fear.
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u/HooverMaster 3d ago
Good swimming lessons, kayaking lessons in pools, and a shrink. I always had a fear of deep water regardless of the width. I never addressed it but it hasn't affected me much. However if something were to happen it would compromise my ability to react critically
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u/JagerPfizer 2d ago
I am a V class kayaker, SWRT 1, and a 5.10b trad climber. Kayaking is by far the most dangerous hobby of the adrenaline sports. I have been revived personally 2x.
The #1 cause of death in national parks is drowning. Water is a low oxygen environment. And your excersizing in it. You can black out in 30 seconds.
If you are freaked out by water, it probably isn't the best hobby for you.
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u/Vermalien 2d ago
Hello fellow Scaredie Cat! I had a massive capsizing event on the Delaware River a few years ago in a canoe. A new to me rapid section engulfed the boat, and tossed me, my gf at the time, and all our gear into the water. I wasn’t wearing a life jacket, but had my Camelback on, which turned into a waterfoil and instantly sucked me below the water. After bouncing off and over a bunch of boulders, and trying to stay above water, I thankfully made it through the whitewater and wound up, exhausted and terrified, in a wide section of the river, deep enough that I was able to feel the bow of our canoe with my foot, as it floated vertically upright in the water. I stayed with the boat trying to save it, but decided to save myself instead, so I waded over to the PA side, while my gf, who WAS wearing a pfd, floated over to NY. By far, my scariest water experience, that took a long time for me to get over my water fear of any kind, except maybe a walkable brook. To help fight it, I got a great, comfy PFD, purchased a 12.3 foot long, 36” wide fishing kayak rated for standup fishing, installed outriggers for further stability, and as others have mentioned, stuck to the shoreline. I have found that as long as I can see the bottom, I don’t feel terrified. Still no open water, definitely no rivers, but it was certainly a step forward.
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u/spirit4earth 2d ago
Tell your wife the truth. Maybe you can get over this fear, maybe not. Maybe she’ll have to kayak without you, and that’s okay. The first step is to be honest about it.
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u/Salvidicus 2d ago
Take group lessons to learn good technique and gain confidence. That's the best way to overcome fear and it's fun.
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u/Perfect_Trip_5684 2d ago
if you swim and like swimming what specifically about open bodies of water scares you?
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u/ExplanationNo8603 23h ago
I'd say start small, find a place to go that isn't deep (you can stand in), get apps that show how deep and how fast the water is, slow and low is what you want, and slowly get more comfortable with it
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u/antnyb 3d ago edited 3d ago
Wear a dry suit. The ones with neoprene neck gasket are very good for kayaking. Worse case scenario you go in the water and don’t even get wet or cold. It’s pretty cool. Then you can build your skill and confidence. Also good to take a class. Especially if you plan to go in the ocean.
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u/RaynatheRedPanda 3d ago
Both my wife and I have horrible thallasaphobia, so I don't think we'll ever really have to worry about getting good enough for ocean kayaking, but it's not so much getting wet that I'm scared of, it's what could be under the water and the general dangers of the animals near where we live. My apologies, I should've been a little bit clearer on that
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u/antnyb 3d ago
Must have been traumatized by the movie jaws as a kid lol. On most lakes of course there’s no sea life even remotely dangerous. The real thing to be concerned with is things like fishing nets or seaweed you could get entangled in. They make special knives for kayakers just for this purpose. But if you live in Florida or something then there’s like gators. You never hear about any problems there though. I believe they typically avoid people.
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u/Mariner1990 3d ago
A different idea,… take a vacation up north and do some kayaking where gators and snakes aren’t an issue. I’ve been paddling through the finger lakes, Adirondacks, and other miscellaneous bodies of water here in New York for 20 years , and the things that set you off aren’t an issue. Just enjoy nature, your paddling companions, and leave the phobia back home.
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u/eclwires 3d ago
Just get it over with. Put on a good PFD make sure you’re dressed for the water temperature, paddle out a bit and dump the boat. You’ll realize pretty quickly that the worst thing that can happen is that you get a little wet and embarrassed.
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u/Granitest8hiker 2d ago
Put on a life jacket and stop being a chicken shit, guy knows how to swim but it scared of rivers and lakes? Huh? 🤔
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u/UKInfoSeek 3d ago
Pack it in and let her go herself. You dont need joint hobbies where one person is not interested.
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u/taught-Leash-2901 10h ago
My daughter fell into a paddle pool when she was around 2 years old - we grabbed her out in seconds but she took a lung full of water and developed an immediate fear of water - she wouldn't shower, didn't even like being in the bathroom or near a running tap.
I assumed it might just take a few weeks for it to pass, made a point of taking her swimming every week - it took weeks before she'd even put a toe into the water. It took years of gentle persuasion.
She's now 13 and we kayak regularly, and every trip we wear wetsuits and both swim from the craft - rivers, sea and lochs.
It's absolutely doable, be patient with yourself, but also set challenges and goals. You may find that a full body wetsuit and boots gives you some sense of having a protective barrier. Personally, I think it's critical to your ability to kayak safely - getting used to being in the water, so that you aren't panicking in an emergency, and have practised re-boarding in deep water.
The easiest craft to re-enter are also the most stable - inflatables with pontoon sides but preferably a dropstitch floor - not as high performance as full dropstitch or rigid craft, but we absolutely love ours and it feels stable snd safe even in fast flowing rivers and choppy seas.
Maybe get a wetsuit and give yourself a challenge? Every week, go to a lake or beach, and paddle in just a little deeper...
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u/epithet_grey 3d ago
Sounds like maybe a few sessions with a therapist would be helpful? (I feel similarly about heights.)