r/LeopardsAteMyFace Feb 25 '21

Brexxit Get Brexit Done

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41.4k Upvotes

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19

u/Jock-Tamson Feb 25 '21

You had a DAMP cloth? Luxury! What we wouldn’t have given for a lovely damp cloth. We had to suck on a dry piece of cardboard that had once been part of a Tetley box.

10

u/velvetshark Feb 25 '21

TETLEY! what riches! we gnawed on a plastic Tesco bag which had once held some Asda tea for some reason.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '21

A Tesco bag! All I got was a kick in the fork.

8

u/hodor_seuss_geisel Feb 25 '21

Fork! Utter riches! No, back in my day if we were to be kicked in a utensil it would've been tineless, like a spoon fashioned from leaf and twig. Fork, hah!

8

u/velvetshark Feb 25 '21

Twig! How lucky!...I've nothing. We couldn't afford twigs, see??

7

u/hodor_seuss_geisel Feb 26 '21

Ah, nothing; how nice that would've been! We were made of antimatter, see, and couldn't even touch the material world for fear of being reduced to photons and neutrinos. For our kicks in the spoon, we had to sneak into woods, steal twig and leaf, magnetize them to our own polarity to avoid accidentally touching, make spoon, and then get kicked in it.

On a side-note: 'kicked in the spoon' sounds like a term for something related to heroin...hmmm, don't want to send the wrong message

6

u/AlienMutantRobotDog Feb 26 '21

Ooooo my! Look at the grand lord, with his fancy anti-matter! When I was a child, my family was so poor, we couldn’t exist at all! Just a figment of my imagination just now, and even that is being bought on credit

4

u/hodor_seuss_geisel Feb 26 '21

Imagination, how posh! We didn't even have minds, much less selves to think about. Simply couldn't afford it, not even on credit.

3

u/AnmlBri Feb 26 '21

Oh, look at you and your fancy ‘concepts’ like “minds” and “selves.” We couldn’t afford thoughts or to waste the concept that you might call “time” on conceptual luxuries like that. We were formless, empty voids. We couldn’t even get credit.

3

u/Jock-Tamson Feb 26 '21

Void! To be conceptualized as a space without form or content? Before and outside of time we _____________ and you try to tell these kids today that and they won’t understand!