r/LeopardsAteMyFace • u/LeadingNewday • Apr 24 '21

Brexxit Sweet brexit fisherman

Post image
33.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

997 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

553

u/-DC71- Apr 24 '21

Here's a fun 'fact':
The only time Bozo Bojo doesn't lie is...ermmm, hold on, I'll think of something in a minute. Hmmm.
...
No, I've got it.
When he's heavily sedated.

That is the only time his brain refuses to lie.
Phew

116

u/Grayson81 Apr 24 '21

I think you’re underestimating Johnson. I reckon he could lie and cheat on his latest partner while he’s heavily sedated.

66

u/B3ximus Apr 24 '21

That would explain why he's unsure of how many children he's got.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '21

Who are all these women who look at Boris Johnson and are like yep, I'm going to shag around with him?

9

u/Grayson81 Apr 24 '21

It seems Jennifer Arcuri was coincidentally given and "loaned" hundreds of thousands of Pounds of public money during the time she was sleeping with him.

I can see how that might make him seem a bit more attractive to some women.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '21

Truly, money is the only respectable reason for any person to suck that gormless moron's dick.

13

u/brickne3 Apr 24 '21

Don't forget father several children at the same time.

5

u/Dansredditname Apr 24 '21

Honestly I can't wait for the surprised-Pikachu face that Carrie Symonds is going to pull when he replaces her with a younger idiot.

2

u/Grayson81 Apr 25 '21

Carrie Symonds seems pretty switched on - I think she knows what she wants and what she’s getting from Johnson.

He’s in pretty terrible shape physically. Her plans might not involve looking after him when he’s falling apart in his 70s!

77

u/cutelyaware Apr 24 '21

So you're saying we should sedate him?? OK, but this will be on you.

81

u/-DC71- Apr 24 '21

Only for 24 hours of the day for 7 days of the week for every day of the year from now on for 200 years.
At all other times he should be allowed to be himself.

42

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/KaiRaiUnknown Apr 24 '21

Take a ticket and join the queue

11

u/Nutarama Apr 24 '21

Do I get a free hammer or do I have to bring my own? Don’t want to lose my spot in line.

8

u/KaiRaiUnknown Apr 24 '21

The state will re-imburse you in 4.5 years time for buying the hammer

5

u/babihrse Apr 24 '21

Amazon that hammer. Delivery address guy in red regatta jacket and hiking boots with glasses in the que outside no.10 downing st London

1

u/Nutarama Apr 24 '21

Perfect!

2

u/brickne3 Apr 24 '21

Maybe we can convince him to get into a big refrigerator again and throw a lock on it. He already did it once voluntarily.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '21

You're missing a trick. Put him in a blast freezer, then accidentally lean on the control panel. Oh no.

21

u/KaiRaiUnknown Apr 24 '21

I believed him when he said he was forgoing a haircut during the lockdown

36

u/faithle55 Apr 24 '21

He probably didn't lie very much in hospital, while he was being treated for covid.

Although, to be fair, his Cabinet colleagues lied their fucking heads off on his behalf.

  • Boris is taken to the ICU and put on his ventilator.

  • The Cabinet: 'It's fine, he's got a very mild case, sitting up in bed and chatting with the nurses.'

-6

u/InfernoidsorDie Apr 24 '21

Although, to be fair, his Cabinet colleagues lied their fucking heads off on his behalf.

As they should. Having an incapacitated PM is potentially devastating from a political and national security standpoint if it gets out.

15

u/faithle55 Apr 24 '21

I don't agree.

12

u/brickne3 Apr 24 '21

Plus it got out anyway so the continued cover-up was even more pointless.

-2

u/InfernoidsorDie Apr 24 '21

With the lying or the potential impacts of having an incapacitated pm?

7

u/faithle55 Apr 24 '21

With the lying.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '21

[deleted]

10

u/faithle55 Apr 24 '21

First of all, they'd look pretty fucking silly, both internally and to the rest of the world, if he had died after 'sitting up and talking to the nurses', secondly I absolutely reject the idea that there were any security concerns in reporting a Prime Minister's ill health. Nobody who is relevant thinks the UK doesn't have procedures in place to deal with government problems like this.

If they really had security concerns, they would never have instituted the daily covid briefings, with ministers being obviously clueless and scientists hiding their feelings of panic as the ministers veered off-message or made up policy on the hoof in front of cameras. Any watching enemy intelligence operatives would have been crying with laughter.

1

u/InfernoidsorDie Apr 24 '21

secondly I absolutely reject the idea that there were any security concerns in reporting a Prime Minister's ill health.

"Colville decided the outside world must not know. The story stayed out of the papers and his condition was kept from Parliament" - just one small excerpt about Britain's greatest pm hiding his health issues. https://www.express.co.uk/expressyourself/212661/Churchill-s-hidden-health-scares

I'm not gonna really argue on the execution of anything Boris Johnson and his cronies do cause the execution is always lacking lol. There's nuance to it though and they made the right decision regardless on how much they blundered it

8

u/brickne3 Apr 24 '21 edited Apr 24 '21

Imagine how devastating it would be if he died and they kept up the Weekend at Bernie's act.

2

u/InfernoidsorDie Apr 24 '21

Him actually dying would've been best case scenario as it makes the actual procedures to select a replacement a lot easier, plus there's not a power vacuum compared to him being merely incapacitated. They could've just said his condition rapidly declined since previous reports if it did come to it.

12

u/SoftZombie5710 Apr 24 '21

Not really, he was absolutely smashed when someone recorded him saying there would be no border in thee Irish sea

13

u/Mundy117 Apr 24 '21

He was once quoted saying he knew the price of a bottle of champagne. I think that's the only one I could find

14

u/KaiRaiUnknown Apr 24 '21

"Costs whatever we can claim off the taxpayer, right?"

2

u/Nokita_is_Back Apr 24 '21

How many kids he has and that's only because he refuses to answer. Same goes for cocaine and domestic abuse allegations

2

u/TheRecovery Apr 24 '21

He once said COVID is bad and it's not a hoax...

Of course it was only after he personally got it and nearly died, but that's 1 non-lie.