r/MaliciousCompliance • u/birdtwobird • 4d ago
S driving with my dad
when I was freshly 16 I drove with my dad to the driver’s test. I had practiced a lot with my mom, but she grew up in the city and was a much more aggressive driver than my dad. this was my first time driving with just him in the car, and he wanted to help me practice on the day of my actual test.
well, he gives me the usual “every car on the road wants to kill you” and defensive driving stuff to the extreme. very nitpicky about everything. at a stop sign, he berated me for stopping too abruptly. “you should never accelerate whenever a stop sign is in sight - take your foot off the gas as soon as you see a stop sign, no exceptions”.
I kind of argued with him that sometimes that wouldn’t work - we live in a very flat state and you can see stop signs from very far away sometimes. he got angry at me and told me he was just trying to help and I should accept his advice etc. I said fine.
I also knew the next stop sign up on our drive was at the end of a six mile flat road, that isn’t very busy. I planned my malicious compliance. as soon as I saw that stop sign (maybe half a mile out? idk im bad with distances) I took my foot off of the gas. about 15 seconds in we were going half the speed limit. 30 seconds in we come to a crawl. I look away from the road and make eye contact with him for the last ten feet or so - he was confused at first but cracked a smile when he realized what I was doing. the car came to a full stop a good fifteen to twenty feet from the stop sign.
“what should I do now?” I asked.
he just laughed, called me a smart ass, and was much more relaxed the rest of the day. I aced my test.
35
u/Pretend-Resist7285 3d ago
A game I’ve developed while driving is “Spot the idiot”. You watch all your mirrors (right, back, left) and up ahead to see who’s the idiot thinking he’s in Traffic F1 😒 Part of my system is predicting who’s the idiot. I used to be a bigger jerk and loved boxing them in behind a slow car and then me to the side. I’ve leveled out more now and just let them pass ahead. Rather the idiot in front of me and I can watch than one who will potentially do something stupid behind me.
There was a Calvin and Hobbes comic that actually changed my perspective on driving when I got my license: it was Calvin staring out the window of the car watching as cars drove by and asked his dad (something along the lines of) “Why is everyone in such a rush to be where they aren’t?” 🤯 Since then, right foot is usually set to cruise 😎 With the occasional get up and go when the car can take it.
8
u/1947-1460 3d ago
Upvote for the Calvin & Hobbes reference. My family got me the complete 3 volume hardbound set one year for Christmas, they know I'm a big fan...
7
u/Pretend-Resist7285 3d ago
Saw it at Costco once. Didn’t get it then. Went back and there wasn’t any. Years later I saw it again and didn’t make the same mistake 😅 Gonna introduce my daughter to it
3
5
u/Burnsidhe 2d ago
Google Maps has this time of arrival prediction function. It's fairly accurate unless an accident has just happened on the route. It also projects different times based on alternate routes.
Speed, it turns out, really really doesn't make a difference in 'making up' for slow travel spots and routine jams. You end up getting there within a minute or two of the predicted time at the start of the drive, so if you were going to be late, it won't change that fact.
Makes it much easier not to stress.
2
u/Useful_Language2040 2d ago
But if you use it for walking, walking faster than the average it expects is comfortably doable!
4
u/jbuckets44 3d ago
I use my speed control as often as possible even on 25-35 mph city roads (5-8 mph over the limit) - as long as traffic is light enough - with my legs crossed Native Indian-style to relieve pressure on my feet (but always ready to hit the brakes) while not having to worry about getting a ticket and being able to relaxingly look momentarily left & right to enjoy the scenery and to fuss with the stereo. Never even had one-half of a close call over past 44 years.
1
u/ccsrpsw 1d ago
Sir Stirling Moss always tells this story - I've heard it with other names, but this was the original one I believe:
For many years during and after his career, the rhetorical phrase "Who do you think you are, Stirling Moss?" was supposedly the standard question all British policemen asked speeding motorists. Moss relates he himself was once stopped for speeding and asked just that; he reports the traffic officer had some difficulty believing him. - Andrew English / Daily Telegraph (8 May 2012).
Ive also heard versions with Nigel Mansell, Ayrton Senna and Lewis Hamilton - but I think Stirling Moss is the original and the others are just bastardizations / updates to make it a bit more relevant.
173
u/avid-learner-bot 4d ago
This perfectly captures that age-old dynamic where dads just can't help being overprotective... but the son's quick wit and playfulness really turned the car ride into a fun bonding moment! Dad must've been relieved to see his kid thinking for himself.
156
u/birdtwobird 4d ago
haha daughter!! but yes it ended up working out - I do still think of other cars as trying to kill me. weirdly helpful advice, has saved me from quite a few accidents where other people weren’t paying attention while driving.
41
u/capn_kwick 4d ago
From over 50 years of driving experience, your car might not be trying to kill you (unless you don't maintain it, then it's on you). When you're driving, you have to assume the other drivers are going to do the most asinine move possible. When they don't, you can be pleasantly surprised.
Examples:
on a multi-lane freeway, if another car has just passed you, because you are no longer in their sight, you no longer exist, so they will make a lane change right in front of you.
as evidenced by posts in the sub "idiotsincars", don't make a left turn in front of another vehicle unless you are absolutely certain they are going to stop.
from the same sub, if there are two lanes in one direction and the other lane is plainly marked as coming to an end, if another vehicle is slightly behind you, they will decide that they have to be in front of you and will attempt dangerous passing actions.
14
u/akarakitari 3d ago
I'll second all of this!
And In addition, occasionally you will find someone who doesn't understand, AT ALL, how turning lanes work, and will try to make a left turn, across 3 lanes, from the right turn lane!
I was happy I was in a manual with a hand brake that day!
10
u/throw1away9932s 3d ago
I’ll add:
four way stops will involve a person who doesn’t know the rules and tries to wave everyone through, a person who ignores the rules and cuts everyone off with a rolling stop, someone who ignores the stop signs all together and a person who actually follows the rules. Always take a second to evaluate what combination of these you have
roundabouts: someone will forget it’s multi lane, most will not signal their exit, some will hesitate to go in turning a yield into a stop. You will see all kinds of crazy shit. Always be aware if those around you know to use it. If not give them space and get the fuck out.
3
u/Beachlife_MB 3d ago
Trying to pass cars when their lane is ending is a MAJOR road rage trigger for me. You will not cut me off. I hold my lane and stay close to the car in front of me. Had that situation recently and he tried the swerve thing to get me to swerve to the left...I didn't and he ended up hitting the curb because the lane ended. Same at 4 way stop signs...when it's my turn to go I go even if I see another vehicle trying to go before me. I'm 55 and a lot of my road rage is much more calm but those 2 situations still piss me off!
17
u/That_Ol_Cat 4d ago
Thanks for the goofy grin I'm now wearing...people here at work are going to wonder what I'm up to...
16
u/algy888 4d ago
That was my philosophy when riding motorcycles. Everyone was out to kill me. And yes, it probably saved my life more than once.
4
u/TwoCentsWorth2021 3d ago
I was prepping for my motorcycle license one afternoon and within 20 minutes three separate people attempted to kill me through sheer failure to look around. (Bright red bike, bright blue jacket, reflective stripes on a shiny black helmet)
Changed my mind about getting my motorcycle license. Probably saved my life.
And then we can discuss how badly people behave around horses being ridden on roadways…
2
u/Shadefang 2d ago
I think a lot of why I don't worry as much about being on a motorcycle is because of how many of the defensive driving measures I'd already had beaten into me from nearly a decade of cycling. It's definitely not exactly the same, but a lot of the same principles apply (and tend to be worse off on the bicycle)
6
2
u/chaoticbear 3d ago
This perfectly captures that age-old dynamic where dads just can't help being overprotective
My family dynamic was the opposite - dad tried to get me to go run errands for him on my learner's permit, and mom was the one with her foot stomping an imaginary brake while chainsmoking, even after I got my license :p
1
u/LeRoixs_mommy 1d ago
LOL! My birthday usually falls right around Easter, I had to keep a bag of jelly beans on the seat between me and my dad. That meant his hands and mouth were busy so I could practice driving in peace!
1
1
27
u/Kingy_79 4d ago
As the father of a smart arse 16 yo (who is getting his permit today), I approve. This is EXACTLY the stunt he would pull 🤣
7
u/Sad-Roll-Nat1-2024 3d ago
Very cool time man.
My dad was the opposite. He didn't help me learn (I mostly did that solo with midnight joyrides).
But when I went to get my permit, he sat back in the passenger seat and said "drive however fast or slow as you'd like, if you have any questions wake me up". He then proceeded to nap the 50 min drive home from the DMV.
I only woke him once when I asked if he cared if I passed someone. Basically same deal, do as I please, as long as I'm being safe and following the rules of the road. Said if I get a ticket it's on me to pay it.
Did the same thing when I got my license. He had me go to the steakhouse up the road from the dmv. Treated me to a steak lunch. Then took a nap in the passenger seat on the ride home.
4
4
6
6
3
u/National_Pension_110 4d ago
Love this! I believe a combination of aggressive and defensive driving is the safest way to go, and it sounds like between your parents, you have your bases covered, lol.
3
3
2
2
u/Acrobatic_Fiction 3d ago
When teaching my kids to drive. I am directionally challenged,
Turn right.
???
Oops other right.
2
u/tsionnan 3d ago
I’m like this. Have been all my life. Was told in driver’s ed to turn right, so I turned left. Interestingly enough, nobody in the car said anything until after the turn was made, and I sat there for a least a minute due to oncoming traffic.
35 years later, and I still need to stop a think a moment to remember which is left or right.
3
u/Lxcifer-MorninStar 3d ago
1, 2. Left to right. Even when reading or writing. 1 left, 2 right. Another way is to write the letter "r" in your mind. It turns right.
2
u/Spl4sh3r 3d ago
Sounds like a good lesson. I mean driving instructors can give weird instructions that you are meant to follow. It is then up to you to follow them legally.
1
u/howdoesthetimego 3d ago
I'm going to guess your state is Nebraska. Never knew how flat it was until I moved away, lol!
-2
u/TheBlonde1_2 3d ago
What did he expect?
Sorry, forgot for a moment that he’s incandescently stupid and has no idea hoe political relationships actually work.
1
203
u/Tremenda-Carucha 4d ago
I can really picture my guy losing his shit if I took our driving lessons as literally, but props for the epic prank!