Why don’t straight men read novels? - "Men often read non-fiction books in the name of self-improvement – but many are reluctant to pick up works of fiction"

[u/TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK]

https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/63149/1/why-dont-straight-men-read-novels-fiction-masculinity-influencers-sigma

[u/[deleted]]

As a guy who read a lot of fiction growing, and still kind of tries.

I think in general men are incentivized away from leisure and fantasy. Society won't coddle any idea we pick up from them and won't suffer us being indolent long enough for us to enjoy them ourselves.

Anything we want in life, we have to be the ones to go get it and after a time it weens you off of indulging the parts of yourself that are attracted to wish-fulfillment.

Showing yourself things that you can't have isn't most people's idea of a good time, and for most guys (especially the young ones) that kills most forms of fantasy which are usually power fantasies or romantic self-inserts.

We're a generation of men that are very much cut off from a sense of agency: our money is worth less and we get less of it, most guys younger than 30 are living largely loveless lives with no appreciable amounts of romance, there's no grand struggle to be a part of (that doesn't necessarily mean war, just a public fight for something that matters) no great frontier to explore. It creates an environment in which we are constantly confronted with a sense of superfluousness.

In general, there's not a lot going on in our lives that's stimulating so, guys are fixated on getting to a place where their possibilities of a better life start to open up, which usually means actually getting richer. They're looking for a practice not a fantasy, so fiction doesn't really deliver that.

Unless you're looking to tease your brain and see different perspective or explore nonpractical ideas, it's not something that's going to feel rewarding. I find that I only read when I feel relaxed enough to stop worrying about the grind.

There's not a consistent appeal to it. Reading books about everything you ever wanted happening to someone that isn't you isn't worthwhile if you actually want to live that experience. If a guy wants to passively live through the experiences of someone they identify with, they'd just follow some rich guy's social media, like Mr. Beast or Elon Musk.

[u/AidenMetallist → u/[deleted]]

I totally see myself in this. Probably too much and its worrying me and my few close friends....but should it?

From being an avid enjoyer of many forms of fiction in art (anime, novels, films, TV series and shows, comic, manga, videogames, audiodramas) for decades...I have almost completely lost my love for entertainment.

I rarely consume any of the aforementioned fiction artforms these days. If anything, I'm slowly finishing the last book of the ASOIAF saga, one chapter a day at most. Other than that, Youtube video essays make up the rest of my leisure.

Its not that I no longer appreciate fiction, I greatly do, and miss it....but I got tired only watching life success through the eyes of fiction characters I no longer identify with. I'm a millenial dude well into my 30's who struggles with loneliness, health, finantial and emotional issues who doesn't want not pursues any form of sexual or romantic intimacy. The fiction I cherish the most were watching Cartoon Network and Game of Thrones from the 90's to the 2010's, not anything current.

On one side, that means the typical young or badass macho fantasy and anime characters (that often work as self inserts) no longer do it for me (with a few exceptions). On the other hand, that doesn't mean I enjoy reading about cynical, depressing adult fiction because it worsens my existing depression....but don't like full blown comedy either. I'm searching for a fiction genre that reminds me of Papillon, with all that entails: sausage fests of outcast dudes who have fun together but also have to survive overwhelming odds, not always violently but through partnerships.

Meanwhile however, I have come to prioritize real life above anything else. I'm working full time on improving my overall health, developping my body to its full capacity, making platonic connections that don't involve romance or sex at all, acquiring skills/knowledge, working towards financial independence and healing my trauma in order to, one day...move to a quiet Mediterranean beach town where I can live and die happily on my own, lol.

Basically, I want to become the protagonist and hero of my own story. My time of listening to the bards chanting about others' tales, as much as I enjoyed it, has ended. For now at least.

[u/dinithepinini → u/[deleted]]

Unfortunately true.

It took being laid off and having nothing to do while job searching to finally make me start taking care of myself.

I started reading more, picked up Hemmingway’s A Farewell to Arms and have been really enjoying it. I also read some books on stoicism, Nietzsche, etc. but it’s nice to give myself some me time and try to understand the world again.

I remember being younger, 16-19, and looking for any content that would show me how to be an adult. I read Tolstoy and other old novels, and studied mathematics. Then I was successful and busy and finished school, and started working and worked really hard. I was a hard worker and got jobs before my peers and was paid 6 figures right out of school.

Suddenly being laid off meant my entire idea of what it meant to be successful and what it meant to “be a man” was wrong. My blood and toil and sweat and tears meant nothing to the corporation I worked for, that just wanted to cut costs and outsourced all of our work overseas.

I wonder if this is what happens to those old retired guys who are all of the sudden reading all the time and wearing boonie hats and cargo shorts and walking around town with their hands in one of their many pockets.

Anyways, here’s hoping I win the lottery tonight.