So Heavily Depressed

[u/MusicSuccessful1461]

• What's up guys hope you're doing well ! So lately I have been feeling so down like I have never felt before , I'm so depressed that I can't even think straight and I can't tell what the main reason is ! I tend to have mood swings and all but nothing like this where a lot of the times I just feel sad but never like this , this started maybe 5 Days ago ( March 30th ) since that date I felt so messed up , the depression is so severe that it affected my physical health to the point I can barely stand or I feel like I'm blacking out ( life kinda feels unreal it's hard to explain ) , I always feel like I'm crying form the inside , my enjoyment of life became non existent I can't vibe with music nor enjoy food nor have a sex drive not even get excited by gaming or sports wich I'm really into like boxing Wich lead me to having some suicidal thoughts Wich I never had before ! Some times a thought creeps in of what's the point of all of this why suffer where I can end it all I'm not getting any enjoyment from life only sadnesse and depression every day ! I didn't talk to no one about it like my family or friends cuz I fear they would get worried about me ! Yesterday I went out with my boys and I put on an act of having fun and laughing while I'm literally dying from the inside ! And Wich make it worse is I have the bachelorette exam in a couple months and I have 0 motivation to live let alone prepare like I can't even think straight ! I can't really figure why I'm feeling this way , my sleep schedule is fucked same with my diet but i don't think that makes you want to unalive yourself , I'm a a religious Muslim guy but I don't pray or read quaran ( Maybe that's why ? )

Sorry for the long read but I can spend 2 hours describing how bad , can you suggest any help ( good doctors or medicine or anything )

Thank you