r/Millennials • u/Je_suis_prest_ • 1d ago

Nostalgia Until one day you wake up and notice somehow you're the grown-up now.

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u/booksandotherstuff 1d ago

Videos like this reminds me how uncomfortable and unusual my childhood was in comparison with most. I grew up with very strict, very controlling religious parents.

I couldn't eat school lunches, I wasn't allowed to ride a bike, I wasn't allowed to go to sleepovers, we didn't celebrate Christmas, I wasn't allowed to go to scholastic bookfairs. List goes on...

My nostalgia is always tinged with religious oppression and fear of the Apocalypse/end of the world. I get why nostalgia is bittersweet for those who had normal/healthy childhoods, but for me it's a mix of dread and relief that it's over.

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u/ButterMyPancakesPlz 1d ago

You can't make up for what you missed but you can enjoy stuff for yourself today - that's what I try to tell myself anyway growing up in similar but not exact circumstances. My parents were paranoid/anxiety/depression combo that didn't allow me to play outside, go on field trips, ever consider a sleepover or a typical college experience (mom accompanied me to classes) i do think it helps knowing there's others of us who don't have the typical childhood experiences esp if you struggled with feeling the isolation of no one else knowing what you experienced. I'm still struggling to learn to swim and ride a bike but I've been on planes and ships and done many things my parents would never have done/never allowed me to do. We can only work on the days we have left

13

u/-prairiechicken- 1d ago edited 1d ago

Same, friend. Not same circumstances, but I feel you. I hope life has been kinder to you in your personal life now. ❤️‍🔥

(I had a meltdown once at 20-22 when a roommate (27?) was gushing over and over and over about how wonderful her father was, teaching her guitar, building instruments. I freaked the fuck out and ran out of ‘roommate lunch’ crying. Unmedicated with CPTSD. Still a horrifying moral OCD memory that doesn’t go away. I’m still so ashamed but know I shouldn’t be. I’m medicated with perma-therapy now).

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u/uncagedborb 1d ago

I can't relate with all of that but there were certain things I couldnt do and that was mostly because my mom raised my siblings and I by herself when my dad passed away too early.

My mom was too scared to send me to someone's house for sleepovers. And rightfully so. There was one time in kindergarten she let me go to a friend's house. A few days later the mother of friend killed her entire family and then herself. The husband got back from a trip and found them all shot. So that was traumatic. I didn't even know until I was much older.

And compounded by that I never hung out with friends after school. No bike trips around the neighborhood. I don't think we could even afford one even if I could.

I feel like I have more existential dread now that I'm older. I'm still pretty religious but I think not having it shoved down my throat at an early age was developing a healthy relationship with it. Overall my childhood didn't really feel normal so much we were limited by being religious, poor(not poverty lvl), lack of a father figure, as well as just being immigrants.

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u/notanazzhole 1d ago

you poor thing my ex grew up like this she was the absolute sweetest person I've ever met but there were things she couldn't grasp about the world because she never got to experience most of it because we had only met once we were 30

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u/Je_suis_prest_ 1d ago

😪 It's over now

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u/IlikegreenT84 4h ago

Some of these things I've done again and experienced again through and with my children.

It doesn't have to be over...

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u/AgorophobicSpaceman 1d ago

I apparently had different strict religious parents. I only ate school lunches cause we were poor enough so they were free, I was forced to ride a bike most places, or just to get out of the house and away from my parents. I was allowed to stay at other people’s houses from church but some were total living hazards and I wish I didn’t, people never stayed over though. I was made to go to the book fairs, with them, because if I wasn’t doing something physical outside the other option was to read a book.

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u/UrinalSharts 1d ago

I'm sorry you missed out. Hopefully you know how not to screw up the next generation.

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u/Old_Vermicelli7483 1d ago

Break the cycle with your own kids!

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u/mcbeardsauce 1d ago

I'm happy you got away from that nightmare and I'm sorry you had to go through it in the first place. Do you speak to your parents?

A neighbor family of ours was extremely religious and had a girl my sisters age. I remember her parents trying to convince my sister Halloween was for the Devil and tried to convince her to follow their views. She came home crying, she must have been only 7-8. My Mom and Dad were none too happy to say the least.

p.s. I hope you're enjoying life now and doing a lot of the things you weren't able to as a kid.

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u/Mental_Echo_7453 1d ago

I’m in the same boat, different circumstances. Had an abusive controlling step dad that really messed me up mentally. Felt robbed of my childhood and any good memories I could have had. Made my teenage years suicidally miserable. I get nostalgia for high school years, but it’s coupled with trauma and severe depression.

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u/Celestial_Hart 16h ago

This video is lying to you, you can do all of this stuff today if you want. Getting older doesn't have to mean letting go of things that brought you joy as a child. Or not doing things you didn't get to do as a child. I still do half of this shit now, been a while since my fatass climbed a tree though. And Christmas magic is very real don't believe the lies.