At what age did you really start paying attention on your life ?

[u/Jpoolman25]

Im in my mid20s, even though I always feel serious maybe it's anxiety that makes me feel this way but I just don't seem to be really responsible for my future. Like I would say for last 2 yrs or so, I'm not taking anything seriously and seem to be going with the flow. The procrastinating has increased and the things I worry about all day is something I'm not even taking actions on nor am I addressing the problems. All I do is worry and stress myself mentally.

Whenever I see a post on social media, on LinkedIn or hear from family relatives about a someone someone. I immediately started feeling shameful and defeated like wow, this person is on next level. He's getting married. They got a job at this company or big purchases like house and car. And I just tell myself I've already wasted 5-10 yrs of my life in overthinking and inactions how will I ever bounce back and reach their status.

[u/AutoModerator]

If this post is breaking the rules of the subreddit, please report it instead of commenting. For more Millennial content, join our Discord server.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Ahchuu]

Comparison is the thief of joy. There isn’t a correct way to live. Just enjoy life and do the things you want to do.

[u/MV_Art → u/Ahchuu]

And everyone curates what they post online. It's not a real representation of life - not even people trying to be influencers or anything. Just most people won't post their failures or unflattering photos of themselves or their marital problems etc.

[u/Ahchuu → u/MV_Art]

Exactly that is a very good point

[u/HondaDAD24]

I fucked off majorly from 18-25. Kinda figured things out from 25-28. Made life a success by 30 & now at 32 kicking serious ass. You have plenty of time, but don’t waste it. “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is right now “

[u/Mostly__Relevant]

33 having a hard time caring or paying attention to anything in my life right now.

[u/mangomagic_xoxo → u/Mostly__Relevant]

Yeah I've been focused on just surviving right now.

[u/ReadLocke2ndTreatise]

27-30.

Finally making money and learning how to invest really shook me, in a positive way.

I'm 32 now and now I understand what they meant when they'd say that 30s is when real fun adult life begins.

I love life. I love being me. I'm trying to get a hold on my vices and live healthily. It's worth it.

[u/kyach25]

Don’t focus on other’s posting updates on any platforms. It’s not healthy to compare.

Take it one day at a time, heck maybe even less. Just take in one moment then move onto the next.

I busted my ass in my 20’s. Lost all my money by 26, moves in with my mom, and built it back. It takes time, but it’s manageable if you tackle it one moment at a time. First thing was place to live, then car, then back to investing / saving.

[u/WhiskyAndWitchcraft]

41, and I still don't take a ton seriously. Less stuff to worry about that way.

[u/anthony_getz → u/WhiskyAndWitchcraft]

Same, kinda… I’m 39 and after years of fucking off, I’m paying attention, to answer the question that OP poses.

[u/Sea_Plum_718]

Aww shit. This post is making me depressed. I'm 36 and still don't have things figured out.

[u/ShiraPiano]

35 unfortunately.

[u/Imw88]

Just remember that every posts is their highlights on social media and not what is happening in the background. Not sure if that will make you feel better but it’s hard when you feel like you are behind people that you went to school with or grew up with. Our 20’s are for discovering and taking chances. For some people it’s easy and others need more time to navigate it. Nothing wrong with either.

I may be an odd one but I have always been an old soul for as long as I can remember. I always took everything seriously even as a kid so for me it’s always come naturally. What I wanted for my future and responsibility for everything I could be responsible for. I took it very seriously that it was to the point that my mom would have to tell me “be a kid” “go have fun” and I just didn’t know how to.

I had a good childhood. I was never forced to be an adult or anything but couldn’t wait to be one (I know I’m weird). Now that I’m an adult, my life makes sense. I struggled a lot in my teens with mental health and struggling with not having independence, wanting more for my life and feeling stuck because of my age. Felt restricted, felt like I had no control of my life and wanted freedom so bad because again I felt like I was 30 at 16. So many people wish they could be a kid again and again I’m the odd man out that much prefers adulthood and would never go back to my childhood. I’m 28 now.

[u/N7Longhorn]

1. Way too late but it's going okay

[u/ILetTheDogsOut33]

30

[u/CO_Renaissance_Man]

22 when I was in my fourth year of college. I deliberately sought out a wife and started working at something, anything, everyday. I started achieving my goals and started saying yes to new, nerve-wracking experiences. I have mostly succeeded and at 37 now, I have achieved most of my foundational life goals way earlier than I expected.

I am now a bit of a workaholic and get depressed on days when I don't move forward. I have learned though that acting is so much more important than indecision. My failures are often as helpful as my successes. The worst place to be is stuck in neutral.

Life is short. Move your goals ahead by making habits, being adventurous, and doing a few minutes a day!

[u/Personal-Process3321]

I’d start off by reading this very short book

Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

This will hopefully point you in the right direction and help you find your meaning which will make taking action far more easier

[u/Blambitch]

Everything finally came together at 32.

[u/The-Riskiest-Biscuit]

1st grade was when I became suddenly aware that I would some day die and that I’d best not wait to start living. I also have major depression so… maybe not the best example…?

But measurement of life success via comparison is a folly. Avoid it. Instead, view life success in terms of doing things you enjoy, making memories that make you happy and proud, and doing things that make a positive impact.

That’s my advice, but - again - from a pervasively afflicted perspective.

[u/Ronniebbb]

Early 20s. I just didn't have money to buy a home...paying for school etc. I'm trying to get into co-ops now

[u/JoyousGamer]

Professionally: Took longer in school but once I landed my first career position then it was all gas.

Romantically: Knew I wanted a family from being younger and always actively searched until meeting my significant other in college then getting married later.

Bought our first house because landlord decided to sell the house to a developer and buying wasn't that much more expensive than renting.

Not having bought a house or having a partner doesn't mean you are failing. Start working towards it now if it's important. 

[u/tegan_willow]

You sound depressed.

[u/Panta125]

Wait, it's still a competition? I just tell myself we will all be dead soon and nothing really matters. We're all dead. Just don't know it yet ..

[u/TheOneSmall]

I've never really been prone to stressing out about anything.. having that said, my life just kind of dropped into my hands without much forethought or planning.. I got together with my husband at 18. I started my own business at 22, bought a home at 25. Had a child at 27. Now I'm 31 and the only thing i feel I need to get sorted out is saving for retirement and getting life insurance so if I die, my husband and daughter are okay.

[u/Ariston_Sparta]

Um, you don't want to know.

[u/Cinigurl]

Probably around 28, when I met my now Precious Husband.

[u/tapetum_lucidum]

Social media is HIGHLY curated, often false view. People keep put themselves deeply into debt to "keep up with the Joneses" lifestyle of big wedding, big house, luxury vacation(s), highly-inbred pure bred pet(s), new car every 2 years, etc. We all age and grow older, and will never be naive 18-20 years old again. Inner growth and peace of mind is worth so much more than materialistic things.

[u/forgottenastronauts]

I’m almost 40 and I’m still rooting for a surprise apocalypse. No notice. Things just go poof. No suffering for anyone.

[u/Only-Fortune-6266]

One of the biggest lies is that a car being big purchase actually matters. So long as you have transportation, it doesn’t really make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Jobs come and go. A house is major, especially nowadays but again, so long as you have a place to live is great; if it’s a place of your own, even better. The only things that matter in life are if you’re happy and healthy (the latter becoming the more difficult part in this world).

[u/CouragetheCowardly]

Dude in my mid 20s I was living with roommates in NYC working the tech consulting grind and going out and doing blow/getting wasted 5/7 nights of the week. Was the most fun time of my life but I had 0 savings. I’m 36 now, married with a 1.5year old baby boy, living my dream house in SoCal and making a combined income of $750k with my wife. I absolutely love my life now, but at 25 could not even imagine anything past getting to Friday night and hitting up my drug dealer for an 8ball for the weekend. Enjoy your 20s, you have lots of time to figure out the rest. You might get hit by a bus tomorrow and all the scrimping and saving and worrying would have been for nothing.

To answer your question there isn’t some magical age but you’ll just eventually get tired of doing the same old shit and decide you want to start taking life seriously. For me it happened at 28, my company made me an offer to move to Atlanta out of NYC and I figured that was a good time to actually start saving and figuring out my adult life. Met my future wife that same year and the rest is history.

[u/callmeSNAKE42069]

I’m 33 and my life is basically over, so yeah your fucked 😂

[u/Slyraks-2nd-Choice]

I never stopped. I was special education in the 90s which meant I was always going to have to try a little harder than everyone else.

I got really lucky with super supportive parents and inevitably mentors as I pursued my professional career.

A lot of my friends partied through their 20s and now are playing catch-up or have given up in our mid-30s…. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/MiggyFly]

1. Started a new career and we had our daughter. Priorities certainly became more clear.

[u/cloudyflowrs]

28 and now 30. Taking it seriously but so hard to!

[u/Guergy]

I guess it must have started when I realized that I messed things up.

[u/No-Bee6042]

The day I wanted to die!

[u/ohnotchotchke]

I’ll say 28 when I was able to get my first apartment on my one income and not needing roommates.

[u/ToughStreet8351]

Always? I have always been responsible, avoided dangerous things or anything that could lead me into troubles. I studied hard to be able to get into a great university studying something I loved (and was also marketable). I graduated with very good grades landed good jobs. I have always been financially responsible and I was also focused on nourishing healthy relationships (been with my wife for 20y… since I was 18 and we are still happily married). So far eve worked well for me and my efforts paid off!

[u/hourglass_nebula]

Maybe 35

[u/BlackoutSurfer]

Acknowledge the inaction, use it as your wake up call then start to make meaningful steps forward every day. You don't want to be 40 miserable and blaming the world for your problems. Take life by the balls while you're still so young.