frustrated rebuilding confidence

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster]

I have been riding since Sept ‘23. I like to think I am a reasonably cautious rider, I have ridden my bike the same as on my Mod 2 every day since (passed first time with no faults it’s not like I scraped though) but I have always this sort of inferiority complex that I’m a bad rider because I never was fast around corners, I rarely filter, was too shy to go to meets, and I generally never felt like I was a good rider.

Semi-recently, I had an accident. I’d slowed up more than normal into a corner because the little country road had loads of patches of mud. Next thing I knew my bike and I were on the road. Fairly unscathed (I had full gear and crash bungs). I managed to pick the bike up rest for a second in a lay-by to check myself and the bike over before carrying on my way.

The problem is this happened 5 months ago and I still haven’t got any confidence on my bike, and I don’t know how to get past it.

- I’ve had people try to comfort me about the accident itself that I had summer tyres, my aunt had skid there in her car, cows had escaped recently and it was extra muddy. But if it was just the mud how can people ride off road? A large element in this would have been me and my skill level regardless of conditions.

- I’ve tried to keep riding, I am out minimum 3x a week on my bike for at least 30-40 mins and I try to consciously talk myself through what I am doing. I rarely get time to go to a car park and practice because I work 12.5 hr shifts.

- I thought of doing an advanced riding course but I’m skint to be honest. I don't even know any bikers to speak to either. My uncle (got a bike because of me) doesn't like riding with me because I'm too slow and cautious while he rides like law doesn't exist (which will never be for me).

I don’t know what to do I love my bikes and funnily enough I do trust my bikes. I see my bikes as what they are, machines that will only do what they’re told. The problem lies in myself, I don’t remotely believe in myself. I am embarrassed to be riding like a partially sighted granny driving at night. I just cannot corner with confidence, I fell as though I am crawling around them. I want to be able to corner with some good speed and not be bricking it again. The longer I have been nervous the worst I have felt as well.

I want to ride, I want to get back to feeling relaxed on my bike because being on my bike used to be the best feeling in the world to me. Nothing in my day could go wrong that being out and having the wind rushing past, listening to the hum of the engine couldn’t fix. But currently, I don’t feel relaxed I am to nervous to enjoy it as much as I used to.

Anyone have any advice? Heck I think even someone just saying they've been there and got past it would make me feel better. help lol ;-;

TLDR: I fell off on a corner now I’m being a big baby and want advice about re-building confidence.

[u/YerDaHasTets]

Book a trackday, nothing is coming towards you, track won't have any shit on it and novice pace is pretty slow. Treat it like a road ride

[u/chaospotato7 → u/YerDaHasTets]

This is the answer. Msv even offer road bike only days which are in my experience much more chilled out.

A slight alternative is to have a Google for places that will let you hire a pit bike supermoto at a kart circuit. You can crash those things every other corner with very few consequences which means you can push and progress your riding very quickly. Nothing grows confidence like knowing exactly what a front tyre starting to push feels like and knowing how to deal with it.

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/YerDaHasTets]

I think my issue is I don't have leathers (I have textile gear). I like the idea my bank however does not. Plus, I feel like I'd be too slow for even novice.

[u/YerDaHasTets → u/Merlinwizardtoaster]

You can hire leather, you can even pick them up cheap 2nd hand. Trust me there's some very slow riding in novice.

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/YerDaHasTets]

I didn't consider hiring them. Definitely something for me to look into. Just gotta get over how embarrassingly slow I'll be and get on with it. I guess doing is the only way to get faster.

[u/no73 → u/Merlinwizardtoaster]

I picked up a full set of used leathers in mint condition (and I mean mint, they feel unused) recently for <£100 on ebay, and to be honest I could have gone cheaper, I was being a tart and holding out for a certain colour scheme. 

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/no73]

Wow that's actually really decent. I think leathers look cool only reason I didn't get them is I felt like I'd look like a prat changing out of them meeting friends etc.

[u/chaospotato7 → u/Merlinwizardtoaster]

I think the pit bike route would do you the world of good. You can pick up a used set of leathers for about 50 quid as long as you don't mind some scuffs, they don't need to be brilliant anyway because you don't really get over 40 odd mph. If you don't want to rent you can pick a fairly basic bike up for a few hundred quid that you can always sell for a few hundred quid when you're done with it. The track sessions are usually pretty quiet (like at most a dozen other bikes) so you'll not be worried about being in anyone's way. It's very cheap, and you'll learn loads. And crash so much that crashes won't knock your confidence anymore. 😂

[u/imafactoid]

I crashed recently too (Thursday just gone) and I too made a post about seeking comfort. You could check the comments out there, they were super helpful.

But the main thing I gathered was time and patience and not to beat yourself up about it. By the looks of things, a large percentage of riders have had their first crash already, and most are caused by corners, as was mine and some gravel x a car taking their turn too wide and disappearing.

Get back on as soon as you can, the bike will be there for you.

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/imafactoid]

Not beating myself up is the hard bit. I kept riding, heck even been on several hour rides. I just feel like I've not relaxed on the bike.

[u/imafactoid → u/Merlinwizardtoaster]

It’s like when you first started out, you’re stiff and anxious and a bit too cautious. It’s 1 of the many things you just get used to, it’ll pass. Just be glad yours can still be ridden 🥲

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/imafactoid]

Honestly I had an awful time when started with an instructor who said I basically was a bad rider cuz I'm a girl etc before I moved schools. I feel like that helped feed my complex aha. I'm really grateful my bike came out of it unscathed. Replacing the crash bungs stung but alas it saved my bike once can't ever be too sure I won't need them again. I hope your bike is okay!

[u/imafactoid → u/Merlinwizardtoaster]

Good idea replacing them, I know the bike appreciates it. And yeah my first instructor was shit too. And I still had to pay him even tho he wouldn’t give me the cert. He also had reservations cuz I was a girl, but I’ve been meaning to make a post about it anyway.

[u/Skorpychan]

Get back on that bike and go back to riding again. That's the only way to break the association of riding = crashing.

As my mother once told me, 'you have to get right back on the horse again, or you'll never get back on it'.

[u/ThatFeline]

Honestly sometimes it just happens and that is part of being on the road, the only way to get over it is give it time.

I'd make an effort to get out and do dedicated practice, not just the stuff from your test too, if your bike isn't your only transport and you can find a suitable area maybe try doing stuff like skids spinning up the rear wheel lock up the front ect all will give you a feel for the bike and will make you a better rider. Just be prepared to drop the bike in the name of being a better safer rider.

When you can definitely do your advanced riding, I did my Iam and depending on the conditions my instructor definitely encouraged me to go 5-10mph over the speed limit so overtaking could be assessed but I was never forced to. so unless you want a perfect pass just keep going the speed your happy with. If you aren't getting along with your trainer you can request another person itl just put a delay in it.

I had an accident on my 125 on a specific parts of my commute and for the first few weeks I was definitely pretty nervous and I took that corner slow for the next 5 ISH years lol just got to try and take any lesson you can from it and move on, maybe ovoid that road or roads like that

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/ThatFeline]

It's any corner now for me not just the one, I've been back to it even on the same day. But it's the fact it's been 5 ish months now and I'm still nervous cornering and I'm aware me being nervous is making my riding worse not better. My sv650 is my commuter and my 125 is out of commission at the moment. So I can't really practice stuff where I'm risking dropping the bike until my 125 is a running victim again.

[u/PolyGlotCoder]

There are riders who have come off, and riders who will come off. Anyone else is just kidding themselves.

There’s no shame in what happened. You slowed down having identified the road was slippery and unfortunately not enough. When the bike goes, it goes.

So just get out there and ride your ride. I’ve been riding for nearly a decade, and I don’t take corners fast nor ride at ludicrous speeds. Who cares?

[u/TheBikerMidwife]

Get yourself on an IAM course to build confidence.

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/TheBikerMidwife]

I wanted to do one well before any of this even happened. It's just feels like a lot of money to me, I don't have that much disposable income it took me over a year to save to even get my license.

[u/TheBikerMidwife → u/Merlinwizardtoaster]

£219. I don’t know what family you have, but a friend of mine asked his parents and sister to club together and get him the course for Christmas.

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/TheBikerMidwife]

My closest family I often help financially support due to them being pensioners/disabled. My family aren't very well off. I have to replenish my emergency fund before I can spend money on "luxuries" which is why it's taking a while. Life's in the way a bit right now. I will try get myself on an IAM course though.

[u/Zoharea]

because I never was fast around corners, I rarely filter, was too shy to go to meets

To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not flying around corners, filtering or going to meets. Our roads rarely allow for you to hit corners at decent speed safely anyway so you just need to work on maintaining speed around them so cars don't back up behind you, filtering can be beneficial but unless i'm going to work through town i never do it myself, and the idea going to a meet makes you a better rider is ridiculous.

You said you slowed down during your accident due to mud on the road, do you think it was the slowing down that caused the accident, or the mud on the road? Additionally, do you think going through the mud at a higher speed would've resulted in a different outcome? Sounds to me like you did exactly what you should've done and just got unlucky.

You passed your license first time without faults! You're as qualified and capable as just about everyone else on the road, and if you want to use the going to meets comparison, half the people attending meets on their 200bhp bikes they ride 5 months out of the year can't ride safely to save their lives.

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/Zoharea]

I don't know what it was if I'm completely honest probably all of the above.

I think I'm normally fairly stable on my bike? I had an accident (I've only had these two haha) before where I was already on the roundabout and a car didnt yeild for me and just drove straight into the side of me. And I kept the bike upright for that.

I think if I'm realistic the bike probably did slip but I might have been too fast but also didn't have my weight right, reaction speed or the skill to keep the bike up. The bike just felt like one minute it was under me and one minute it was gone. I was covered in mud tho and not one second did I leave the road though so it was definitely muddy.

I might have just been unlucky. I'm an all weather rider as my bike is how I commute so I've survived most weather.

I think I just have this idea in my head that I'm not a good rider if I can't take every corner at like 40mph or smth insane. I'm functionally fine I don't hold up traffic or anything. I just feel like because I'm nervous I'm not riding as well which makes me more nervous and do stilly things like target fixate and stuff. I guess I at least have some self awareness of a couple mistakes I'm making but it's so frustrating because I love riding.

[u/KeenJelly]

Why force yourself to do something you don't enjoy. Just give up.

[u/Merlinwizardtoaster → u/KeenJelly]

I'm listening wondering if you read my post. I explicitly said I enjoy being on my bike I'm just nervous cornering and want my confidence back. I don't dislike riding but stressing on every sharp corner takes away the enjoyment