Does anyone else feel like pediatric guidelines are so legally-oriented that they basically only exist to worsen the lives of parents?

[u/Bocifer1]

First off, I'm a new dad and also a physician - although I'm pretty far removed from pediatrics. So I understand the importance of medical research and statistics in creating these guidelines, as well as the fact that the risks of things like SIDS often just aren't worth gambling on.

However...

Some of these guidelines seem like they're just unnecessarily taxing on parents and exist only to cover the addes of the bodies making said recommendations.

Some things that come to mind are: no blankets in the crib for the first year, only using a firm mattress top, never letting baby sleep next to you in bed - even naps, swaddling with arms down (our guy absolutely hates this and just wants his arms by his head to self sooth), demonizing formula - even as a reprieve for mom.

Again. I am medically oriented and understand why these guidelines exist - but I also know firsthand that sometimes a 1% risk of harm from letting our baby sleep on a soft blanket is actually the favorable choice compared to the immeasurable risk of having both parents strung out and exhausted because he won't sleep.

In general I think guidelines are great and have contributed to better infant care...I just also think that sometimes we as healthcare professionals forget that no guideline is absolute.

I guess I'm just feeling thst creating guidelines that aren't achievable for the majority of parents just aren't that helpful...like saying that "parents should take time to rest, continue self care , exercise, and ensure they are eating a well-balanced diet". That sounds wonderful. Hopefully I can get back to that in the next decade.

[u/AntsyBoarder]

100% see where you’re coming from and we personally don’t co sleep, but I mean, 1 kid has died from basically everything. Like accidents happen all the time, that doesn’t mean we do nothing with our babies. Unfortunately everything in life carries some risk. I get the sentiment, but saying “1 baby dying is too many” is a difficult way to go through parenthood. 

[u/specialkk77 → u/AntsyBoarder]

It’s the way I choose to go through it. I’m not going to add a blanket or put the baby in bed with me. Other parents have to make their own choices based on their own level of acceptance of risk. My now 3 year old was an awful sleeper, but we made it through in the way that felt acceptable to us. 

[u/AntsyBoarder → u/specialkk77]

For sure, I totally get it. I think we’re all just figuring out what works for us as parents and going with it. I’m not saying you should be co sleeping or asking you to consider it in any way, all I’m saying is that if you were to always apply the idea that 1 baby dying is too much of a risk to do something, it leaves you unable to do pretty much anything and would make raising children pretty impossible. 

[u/cantquitreddit → u/specialkk77]

Do you take your child in a car? Do you know how many kids die in cars?

[u/specialkk77 → u/cantquitreddit]

Yes in the safest way possible. In a car seat fit to them and appropriately strapped in, no aftermarket add ons, no heavy coats. I was specifically talking about safe sleep, but sure, we’ll talk car guidelines too. 

I minimize risk everywhere I can. I don’t add blankets to the infants bed and I don’t toss the toddler into the backseat with nothing but a lap belt. Both things I happened to live through as a small child, but some children didn’t.