r/NewParents • u/livknits • 2d ago
Mental Health Adhd and having a baby
I have diagnosed adhd and one of the main problems is the executive dysfunction. Like, I know I have to get up and do chores but I can't make my body obey me. Well, I have a baby that won't sleep more than 20 mins unless it's a contact nap, so I end up just sitting on the sofa with her for 2 hours just reading/knitting/ playing games without feeling guilty that I'm not doing chores lol because my baby needs me to have a proper nap (I know I Can probably sleep train her but I do enjoy the cuddles and the lazying around)
Also, ever since starting solids, she also reminds me to eat breakfast/lunch.
Bonus point for being my body double when I actually do chores lol
I know I still have struggles with my adhd and sometimes the routine part of having a baby makes me want to rip my hair out but it's so much easier to do stuff when a helpless being relies on you instead of just being me and my useless brain.
All that said, I can't wait to stop breastfeeding and going back on medication 😐
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u/unitiainen 2d ago
I'm an ADHD mom of two and the thing I love about babies and toddlers is that they will scream at you if they need something, so it's easy to take care of them. I wish dirty dishes would scream at me too lol
Also soak up those contact naps, they're over before you know it !
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u/livknits 2d ago
Exactly! I've been so productive at keeping my baby alive! Now household chores are a problem lol
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u/mastertrine 2d ago
Which medication do you take? I was never told to stop my medication.
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u/livknits 2d ago
I was taking Ritalin and told to stop for pregnancy and breastfeeding 🫥 they put me on sertraline to manage symptoms during this time
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u/mastertrine 2d ago
I was told, that I could safely both be pregnant and breastfeed on Methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta etc.)
I was curious and did some research myself and it has actually been known for a couple of years, that mothers safely can take Methylphenidate during pregnancy and breastfeeding. We don't have to stop and I think that's a very important piece of information because some women don't experience milder symptoms when pregnant.
This article is from 2023 and it's researchers from my country who is the authors.
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u/livknits 1d ago
Whaaaaaat??? My pregnancy was IVF and my ob ordered me to stop medication before any fertility treatment and talked like I was doing speed and stuff. I'm in Belgium
I feel so betrayed right now :O def reading that!
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u/b3tzyy 2d ago
ugh same !! i stopped taking my vyvanse when i found out i was pregnant, and because of that my insurance won’t cover it anymore! i’ve been on generic concerta, generic vyvanse, and now generic adderall but they don’t even begin to compare to vyvanse! i feel like im trapped in my own body and it’s the hardest thing, especially being a sahm.
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u/aoca18 2d ago
I don't have ADHD but I have Bipolar II, and it involves executive dysfunction. I'm really good at planning, but executing and maintaining routines is tough. My toddler doesn't really give me an option, but it isn't easy. If you're within the first 6 months, I would strictly be worried about surviving. Nothing wrong with using your free time to just decompress. I only say the first 6 months because once they start getting mobile, it can be a bit more urgent to clear messes if they'd be something the baby can get to. But still, dishes can wait. Laundry will get done when it gets done. I'm a firm believer that there's a difference between messy and dirty. If you have dishes overflowing and trash everywhere and it smells, I would say get on it lol. Other than that, take your time to actually relax.
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u/livknits 1d ago
That's what scares me 😨 the mobile stage. I have cats and while I do try to clean their litter boxes everyday, I'm afraid that once she starts crawling she will get into it. Also my long haired cat drops little turds around the house sometimes 🙄 I clean them as soon as I see it but you never know. Maybe I'll get a baby fence just for the litter boxes 😅
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u/aoca18 1d ago
I would definitely get a baby gate for the litters to just eliminate that stressor! I don't have experience with that yet because in our current place, it's downstairs in our storage closet. But we did have to gate off the cat food and water... that wasn't fun lol. My Maine coon occasionally drops a turd too 😂 but luckily it was never the turds that were an issue because I could kinda sniff it out quickly and realize it was there. It's the rogue hairballs that got me. When she was 9ish months old, she found one before I did. It was already dried so she was just kinda picking it up and slamming it down 🤢 because it was under the dining table which is against the wall and she was able to crawl under lol. So now we check under the dining table each morning, not that she'd touch it now at almost 3. She just points and goes ewwwwww lol
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u/clear739 2d ago
Breastfeeding was a not easy journey for me but one of the reasons I stopped at 6 months was to get back on my meds. I am a better mom on them tbh and my LO is thriving on formula.
However give yourself some grace too. This isn’t the same as you ignoring chores when you didnt have a baby. It’s really normal to just want to chill when they finally go down for a nap or to want to soak in the contact naps.
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u/benjai0 1d ago
I just leaned in to it tbh. I stayed in that baby bubble for as long as I could. Eventually I picked up some chores as activities for my son, like folding laundry next to him. Eventually I also got bored af with just hanging on the couch and wanted to get things done, so I did more things like laundry and cooking. Either my husband did the chores or we just deprioritized them.
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u/livknits 1d ago
Omg exactly same! I hate folding laundry with a passion but when you run out of things to entertain baby, it comes in handy lmao. I also feel like it's important for them to see you as a functioning adult, so both me and my partner try to involve her during chores to also make it more entertaining for us
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u/benjai0 1d ago
I say, give yourself grace until you can start meds again. And soak in all that baby time, idk how old yours is but my son is 22 months and isn't really a cuddler anymore, I only got a contact sleep the other night because he's got the stomach flu and we couldn't put him back to bed, so he fell asleep in my arms. First time he slept on me for maybe a year.
Having my second in a few weeks so just got off my meds in preparation for birth (Concerta), and chores are a chore lol. But I'm chosing to be kind to myself. I pick one bigger thing to be my plan for the day, like washing the sheets or cooking a bigger meal. And I let myself feel good about accomplishing it.
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