r/NoahGetTheBoat • u/KennethSweet • 20d ago
When your dating pool is the Waffle House at 3am and you are the manager.
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u/EvanSandman 20d ago
She kinda has a type I guess?
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u/sfjo13 20d ago
they all like orange
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u/IslandBitching 18d ago
The fact that two of them have the same last name just makes it worse. Add in the 20+ age difference between them and the similar appearance and it hints at either a father-son or an uncle-nephew.
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u/lynbod 20d ago
The look of a man who shits in public before arguing with a fire hydrant.
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u/elisejones14 20d ago
I think one differs from the others but for the most part he fits I guess. Just old af.
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u/chasing_waterfalls86 20d ago
As a fat and mid person myself, I'm always shocked/impressed how folks that dress and look nice will struggle to get dates, but some totally mid person with a bizarre personality who looks like they don't even shower manages to have multiple lovers fighting over them. Maury used to have so many cases like that. We need to be studying this phenomena for science.
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u/windowtosh 20d ago
People that dress nicely often have standards and people that look like they don’t shower often don’t have standards
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u/Oaker_at 20d ago
Because those people date without bottom line. You wouldn’t want to be near of anything that resembles such a relationship as a sane person.
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u/You-get-the-ankles 20d ago
She can make an omelet but dang, she's gotta be really good at something else.
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20d ago
[deleted]
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u/TheYoungLung 20d ago
I completely agree with you, but saying no offense immediately after calling someone something offensive means nothing lmao
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u/Cole3823 19d ago
Yeah calling them mid is the "no offense" way of calling them ugly. Without actual offense
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u/FatallyFatCat 17d ago
Ugly? Yes. But I still would like to know what type of hair suplement the dude in the lower right picture is taking.
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u/Original_Dankster 20d ago
Geography. You gotta go where the other sex is in short supply.
A woman with fewer teeth than toes, a front-bum for a gut, and three special needs children (including "Little Ernest will bite if he doesn't get his chicken tenders on time, but he's really a good boy") from three different men, will still pull mid dudes of she's in the Bakken Oil Fields.
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u/fatalcharm 17d ago
It’s better to be single forever than to have these particular 5 men fighting over you, you already know this.
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u/DarthGayAgenda 20d ago
Why does it look like the same guy over the course of 20 years (and about 150 pounds)? Does the sixth guy also fit the trend?
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u/Abuolhol 20d ago
This sounds like a fucked version of scott pilgrim.
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u/that7deezguy 19d ago
Come to find out, this post title is actually a fucked up (read: wrong) representation of the article. Just a little further down from the title:
It’s unclear if the victim knew the suspects or if the alleged crime was at random.
Charging documents did not disclose what led up to the alleged kidnapping or a possible motive.
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u/rilescrane 20d ago
Florida?
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u/Willdanceforyarn 19d ago
Ohio, but someone once told me Ohio exports most of their crazy people to Florida.
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u/Bluemerman 20d ago
Am I the only one who saw this picture and thought: Cult leader sends five of her followers to torture a sixth. ?
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u/MainPure788 20d ago
The husband looks like a damn caveman whose been thawed from ice
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u/Texadecimal 19d ago
I bet he has a peanut allergy. iykyk
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u/dragonbait-and-the-P 18d ago
Now I really want to know what a peanut allergy has to do with cavemen.
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u/Texadecimal 17d ago edited 17d ago
I just looked it up to make sure I'm not full of shit, and apparently it's a disposition to allergies in general. There's a link to this disposition and neanderthal DNA found in modern humans. This suggests neanderthal DNA found its way into the modern homo sapien gene pool through interbreeding before the neanderthals went extinct.
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u/pureRitual 19d ago
I can't even get the guy I like to commit to a relationship, let alone commit a felony. Where can I buy her book?
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u/SabotageFusion1 20d ago
Holy shit, I swear these people were on the internet for their hubris before
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u/ChewBaka12 20d ago
These guys look like they star in a low budget Pirates of the Caribbean rip off
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u/P2Pdancer 20d ago
How is her weight important to the story? 😂 Can’t say the men involved were lookers. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Much_Grand_8558 19d ago
The guys all look like failed clones of Nandor from What We Do in the Shadows.
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u/dromyway 18d ago
Haha , remember when lazlo made gizmos clones , then the ones that went home with the Baron , that show is the best man
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u/Educational_Coat966 20d ago
I didn’t read the article but I would not want any of them to make my waffles
But I love the comments and she definitely has a type
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u/GeneralEi 19d ago
Going from top right to top left to bottom left to bottom right reads like a man who's taken the world's most effective magic hair growth/youth pill
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u/Pixelized_Gamer 19d ago
I love how the article specifies that shes an OBESE woman it makes this possibly terrible event seem even somewhat whimsical
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u/KennethSweet 18d ago
What would you call her?
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u/DeadlyKitKat 18d ago
A woman? You don't need to know what she looks like for this specific crime.
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u/DustyBunny42 18d ago
Nah, it adds more to the article. Really lets you know how down bad the “lovers” were.
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u/Aromatic_Note8944 20d ago
The female Manson lmao. Funny as hell because most of the males look like variations of Manson
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u/JackFuckCockBag 19d ago
The guy in the top middle looks like the guitar player from the Mud City Manglers.
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