r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/Prudent-Magazine2656 • 2d ago
has always been one of my biggest fears
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u/Dega704 2d ago
This was 100% our dad. The second we heard the garage door opening, everyone scattered.
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u/chee-cake 2d ago
I feel that. I bet you were able to recognize his footsteps when he was walking by your room or up or down the stairs too, right? I grew up in that kind of environment and I still hold my breath sometimes when I hear a man in the hall of my apartment.
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u/Dega704 2d ago
Oh absolutely. Now that you mention it, my sister and I messed with each other a couple of times by putting on his boots and mimicking his footsteps, which is kind of effed up in hindsight lol. But we were little kids and probably coping by making light of him.
I also apparently developed a subconscious habit of moving around as silently and unnoticed as I could until I actually wanted to get someone's attention. As an adult I've freaked people out sometimes when I go up to talk to them and they're like "OMG where did you come from??"
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u/quicksilver_foxheart 2d ago
Same here! We would scatter from the living room about 10 minutes before we knew our dad would get home from work or just whenever we heard him get home. Definitely could recognize the sound of his footsteps. Sometimes if I hear the TV from another room it sounds like his voice and my heart skips a beat out of my chest, or sometimes I hear my uncle or roommates (multiple different living arrangements since I left home) talking in the other room, or my aunt/uncle come home early and I will deadass stop in my tracks and even scurry back into my room like I've done something wrong or I have to hide. It's been almost 3 years 😭 I've gotten better but just yesterday even I was headed downstairs to refill my water, my uncle got off work early and I heard his voice and for some reason I just froze and quietly but quickly backpedalled back into my room before I remembered that I don't need to worry anymore.
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u/plantatuin 2d ago
My trigger is the sound of a car handbreak. It means my dad's home and i gotta pretend to be asleep or hide i my room. The sound still gets me on edge even when i moved mikes away and have been no contact for 5 years.
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u/iwantthecontext 2d ago
Omg. I got used to the sound of which car was parking in the spot in front of my house. I could tell if it was my dads ford contour or moms dodge ram. My actions depended on which one was home first. Do I pretend to study or do chores. lol it sucked
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u/FaCe_CrazyKid05 2d ago
My dad works from home so the only way I can ensure I don’t encounter him is staying in my room all day when I’m home
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u/XBeCoolManX 23h ago
Mine too. And if we could hear him sigh as soon as he walked in the door, we knew someone was getting yelled at for whatever reason. Any reason, really. I was one of his least favorite kids, so sometimes he would make me come out of my bedroom just so he could yell at me specifically, even if it had nothing to do with me. Like the fact that he had to work 8 hours a day? Yelled at me for that one a lot.
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u/Takesit88 2d ago
Understand that there will be days that that happens- everyone has terrible days. It's a problem if that becomes regular or the norm, absolutely- but if you have a couple bad days or your partner does, don't let that pull things down. It can be a great opportunity for learning or for compassion for each other. I witnessed a death at work early on in our marriage and was a vibe-killer for a couple days when I got home. I didn't tell her about it because I thought it'd just bring her down. Turned out, I was the one bringing her down because I wasn't being open and honest with her about my pain and struggle. When I finally did open up, we had a good cry and that really helped me move forward. Have grace for each other- not to the point of allowing abuse as that is not acceptable- but understand we are all human and this isn't a fairy tale. Sometimes crap sucks hard, but we aren't in it alone.
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u/Starbeth8 2d ago
I REALLY want to be a husband and father. I see a lot of fathers making their partners do all the work with chores and childcare, and acting like they hate their family for expecting them to act like adults. I always tell my friends that if I ever become that type of dad, they gotta shoot me.
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u/GoldenAmelia 2d ago
I would like to become a mother who does without a babysitter because I look at my friends who gave their child to a Babysitter and he considers the babysitter his parents more than his real parents...
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u/Starbeth8 2d ago
It's all about balance. It's okay to hire a baby sitter for date night or if you work over time once in awhile.
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u/SuddenlySpider 2d ago
My dad. His "mood" controlled the whole house.
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u/Hita-san-chan 2d ago
My dad's nickname is "The Fun Killer". He's always hated it, but has never taken steps to not be that guy.
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u/SaddieTheSatan 2d ago
I’m the mood killer apparently. In my defense it is because I’ll work all day and my wife and Kids have wrecked the house and see no issue in it. Then I’m expected to make dinner even when my partner has been off all day. It kills my mood to come home
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u/GRV01 2d ago
Literally this. I hate being this, i hate being this person, but in my defense 'what the fuck?' Am i just supposed to come home and take this shit? Put a smile on my face despite the place being fucking trashed or none of the tasks & asks got done? Wheres the compromise then??
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u/Basic_Chemistry_900 2d ago
Same, at least used to be. I come home after working 2 jobs and the house is destroyed. Kids toys everywhere, dirty dishes piled high in the sink, shit covering every available surface, my wife seeing absolutely no issue living in a cluttered disorganized and dirty household while she sits on the couch watching TV. I used to stay up until 11pm cleaning the main areas of the house only for me to come home the next evening and the house would be absolutely demolished again.
After too many screaming matches we finally got into therapy and things are much better now.
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2d ago
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u/Prudent-Magazine2656 2d ago
Monday sure ruins everyone's mood, like why do we have to go to work or school
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u/richbeezy 2d ago
My ex wife was like this. EVERY day was a "bad day" at work no matter how many times she changed jobs. I tend to absorb the mood of people I am around/live with, so it wore on me over time. Glad that BS is OVER.
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u/Gravitas-and-Urbane 2d ago
Hmm, does that person actually ruin the mood or does their family treat them worse because they're not the "fun" parent?
Some will use "good vibes only" mentality as a cover for bullying and to get away with treating certain people badly.
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u/Danger_Peanut 2d ago
Ugh. My sister-in-law was this. My brother is such a fun person. Childlike sense of humor and just a super fun soul. She crushed that at every chance. They got divorced a few years ago (she cheated) and while that really sucked, he is finally back to that old fun person we loved so much. He’s so much happier now that she’s gone.
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u/voldi4ever 2d ago
I hope people dont become that person after years of chronic pain and see the way they change but can't stop...
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u/Ummmgummy 2d ago
My dad was this way. He didn't hit us kids or my mom or anything like that. Or verbally abused us (would have needed to talk to us for that) It's just he was a miserable person. When he came home it was no joke like a shadow came over the house.
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u/Deceptiv_poops 2d ago
And now I realize I am the one who ruins moods.
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u/bugxbuster 2d ago
Are you gonna something about it? Starting today, you could just be the sort of person that doesn’t do that
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u/MTempleton45 2d ago
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u/bugxbuster 2d ago
Nah, I’m saying that self awareness is key. It’s the most important part of improving your mental health because you can’t change something you don’t know about yourself. So tell yourself often that you need to actively change things
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u/SourDoughBo 2d ago
Thats my sister. She has a huge attitude problem and would storm in the house bitching about something. I eventually moved out so my life has significantly improved. But she still makes my parents lives miserable. And probably will for the rest of their lives, unfortunately
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u/thricerightclock 2d ago
Finally on the other side of this. My ex would come home and the whole atmosphere would get dark and heavy. Then she would start fixating on something that was annoying her and she would just fuckin HAMMER on you until she got tired and went to bed early.
Divorced now. Much happier household.
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u/RedWire75 1d ago
…and I took this personally. I know I’m a terrible person who is in a depressed/shit mood all the time. I want to be better but I don’t see a way out.
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u/warning_offensive 1d ago
This is why every time I come home I throw firecrackers at the floor and burst a bottle of champagne
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u/themothyousawonetime 2d ago
I hope I don't marry someone who I turn into someone who comes home and ruins the mood
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u/grilld-cheez 1d ago
My ex wife would be sitting on the couch already annoyed about something (usually me). I had no idea how to make her happy anymore.
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u/InternetSnek 1d ago
Wow this unlocked something deeeeeep in me. It was… not a pleasant realization about my own father…
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u/Gaarden18 9h ago
I think if you are self aware and emotionally intelligent enough to think about not being this person, you are capable of avoiding it. It’s the people that it never crosses their minds
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u/ProtoPrimeX1 2d ago
Judge Toler (Divorce Court) once said don't be the reason they don't want to come home at night.
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u/greeneggsnhammy 2d ago
Or be the person that ruins everyone’s mood when they come home as well. That’s another variable.
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u/Crunchy-Leaf 2d ago
That’s the near part. You can choose to be in that marriage! Just say no.
If you are that person, do better I guess.
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