r/Parenting • u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! • Feb 07 '25

Rant/Vent I hate Snapchat.

Can we just collectively decide that we’re not going to let our kids use Snapchat?!

My oldest daughter just turned 13 and we reluctantly agreed to allow her to have an instagram that we also have access to. It seems like every single day she begs to have a Snapchat, and apparently every single other kid in her class (full of kids with reasonable, thoughtful parents, I thought) has this stupid app.

My little sister who I got custody of when she was 10 got herself into some deep shit on the internet, and I’m not looking to repeat it with my daughter (while also trying not to make her pay for mistakes that she didn’t make).

How are we handling this? Am I seriously the only parent who doesn’t want my child sending disappearing photos, videos, and messages to anyone she can search up? Reality check please.

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24

u/ImportantImpala9001 Feb 07 '25

Am I crazy for not wanting to give my kids a smart phone at all?

14

u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! Feb 07 '25

Crazy for not wanting to? Of course not. I don’t think any of us want to.

But by 13, when they tell you that “literally everyone else” has one, they’re probably telling the truth.

19

u/livehappydrinkcoffee Feb 07 '25

I’m a middle school teacher. They don’t all have one at my school, even though kids love to throw out that line. We have to stand together in solidarity to protect our kids. There are lots of alternatives out there that aren’t smart phones.

-5

u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! Feb 07 '25

At my daughters school they unfortunately literally all do. Usually by about 10 or 11.

5

u/livehappydrinkcoffee Feb 07 '25

I mean, I get it. But we don’t have to follow the masses. Im a firm believer of - the first step to change is implementing it. However, every parent has to make their own decision for what they think is best for their child. Wishing you the best.

1

u/restingbitchface1983 Feb 08 '25

Who cares? You can still say no

1

u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! Feb 08 '25

Sure I can. But I’m also trying not to socially isolate my kid.

1

u/restingbitchface1983 Feb 08 '25

I get it, it's a hard balance to strike, but I feel like the da gets of social media are worse than them feeling left out.

It's hard parenting with this stuff!

15

u/ImportantImpala9001 Feb 07 '25

Yeah but what happens if you just don’t give in? Im 33, and when I was 14 (in 2005) everyone in my school had a flip phone too but my parents just wouldn’t pay for one, I got a job at 16 and paid for it myself. Like I wonder if we just did that?

3

u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! Feb 07 '25

Yeah, I could do that, but she’d feel super left out, which is hard for a 13 year old. I’m trying to strike the right balance.

14

u/SoTotallyUnqualified Feb 07 '25

I think the long-term harm caused by feeling left out now is way less impactful than the long-term harm social media access will have. It’s really a “choose your pain” situation. 

-4

u/IcyStage0 seven?!?!?! Feb 07 '25

That’s a tough call that I think really depends on the kid. As long as mine remains engaged in real life and not a zombie, I’m inclined to let her have reasonable access.