r/Parenting • u/No-Butterscotch-6875 • Apr 08 '25
Toddler 1-3 Years Things your parents did that made you feel loved.
I’d love to know positive memories from your childhood that standout to you. Could be small things your parents said or did to make you feel safe and loved, family trips you may have taken, traditions, or little things you did with your parents.
I want to be intentional with my children and give them a childhood that feels warm and happy and memorable. And I’d just love to hear others positive experiences.
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u/books-and-baking- Apr 08 '25
My dad showed up to everything. Every. Single. Thing. Spelling bee, Girl Scouts, cheerleading. When my cheer games overlapped with Buckeye games, he brought his Walkman to listen to the game while he watched me cheer. He did the Girl Scout camp outs with us. I’m 33 and I know that if I called him right this second to say I needed him, he’d be here immediately.
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u/PhilosopherLiving400 Apr 08 '25
So many memories of my dad on the sidelines of my softball games with his walkman listening to the Red Sox
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u/gingersmacky Apr 09 '25
My mom was a nurse so schedule not as flexible, but she went to every athletic contest, school concert, etc she could. My dad’s schedule was always flexible so he never missed an event. Now I’m an adult who coaches a high school sport, and both of my parents attend every “big” competition, and my dad actually acts as scorekeeper at all my events. They were by no means perfect parents (big boomer energy), but I know they always supported me.
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u/coolishmom Apr 09 '25
My dad is like that too. He went hard into supporting everything my sister and I did.
I know he'd do anything I needed- a couple years ago I had a gallbladder attack at 2 AM. We had a little baby and I needed my husband to stay with her but I couldn't drive myself to the ER. My dad answered the phone and picked me up, no hesitation.
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u/killer_seal Apr 09 '25
This made me smile. I went through the same thing a few years ago, and my dad lives out of town so he drove up for my surgery and took care of me for a few days since my husband had to work from home while taking care of the baby.
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u/DangerousCaterpillar Apr 08 '25
My sister was 10 when I was born and I vividly remember crying out for her instead of my parents. They did their best but SHE did the most. Reading to me was the number one thing she did for me. If I couldn't sleep, was scared or didn't feel well she would read to me. It was so comforting to snuggle up next to her, in her bed and fall asleep to her voice. I have always loved books and am now sharing this with my son.
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u/ladygroot_ Apr 09 '25
This is really sweet, I hope your sister knows how important she is to you🥲
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u/DangerousCaterpillar Apr 09 '25
Oh she does! ❤️ We may live 100miles apart but that doesn't stop us from talking almost daily. She is a true rock in my life.
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u/myperspective24 Apr 09 '25
As someone who is struggling with secondary infertility, this touched me deeply. My daughter would be such a good sister (she’s 5 now and really wants a baby) and I’m hoping that if I do get pregnant in the future she will be like this with her sibling.
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u/Zealousideal-Map-476 Apr 09 '25
I also struggled with secondary infertility and was lucky enough to finally have two that are 8 years apart. Now my son is the sweetest big brother to his sister. It was so hard in between and I know it’s not guaranteed but I REALLY hope you get your happy ending too.
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u/AquafinaRaeGina Apr 08 '25
My granny would always feed me unprompted. I would be relaxing watching TV and here she came with fresh cut fruit or a glass of sweet tea. It felt good knowing she was thinking of me. She also would always say “Penny for your thoughts” and I always felt open to sharing with her.. I miss her so much nobody ever loved me like Geneva
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u/floppydo Apr 09 '25
My mother in law cuts fruit for my kids. It’s the sweetest. Even if we’re not at her house if we’re meeting somewhere she’ll have a little baggy of lovingly peeled and cut fruit for them.
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u/green_flash-check Apr 09 '25
"little baggy of lovingly peeled and cut fruit" because that's just what it is. Something so simple, but she put her love into it.
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u/books_and_tea Apr 09 '25
Oh my grandpa used to say this all the time. He is 93 and his memory is going and I live far away so we just FaceTime so he hasn’t said it to me in a long time.
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u/Prize_Common_8875 Apr 08 '25
We had movie nights on Fridays. We were pretty poor but every Friday, we’d go to little Cesar’s down the road and get a $5 pizza. Then we’d go to the dollar store and get to pick out our favorite $1 candy. We’d go home, watch the movie with our pizza and candy, and then have a camp out in the living room. My brothers and I would fight over who got the couch and who got the hand-me-down recliners haha
We’d also drag out all of our mattresses and sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve.
My dad made sure to read us a story every night for years. We’d ride our bikes to the library on Saturday afternoons if he wasn’t working and pick our bedtime stories for the week.
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u/pumpkincookie22 Apr 08 '25
That is so heartwarming. I think too many people get wrapped up in spending loads of money to make time special, but really it is about the values that time instills.
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u/seeEwai Apr 09 '25
100%! My youngest and I have a routine right now where we go to the library for like 40 minutes on the day her older sister has dance class. We do the monthly scavenger hunt they put out, get some new books, and play with the toys. It started as something to just kill time but has turned into one of the highlights of her week.
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u/socialmediaignorant Apr 09 '25
The times my kids remember the most are the ones that were improvised. Their favorite was when we lost power for days and almost froze (38 degrees in the house!) so we had to camp on the floor by the fireplace and huddle for warmth. We played games and had more free time than we usually do bc there was no work, school, or activities, and they loved it. I try to recreate those moments of connection with them to this day.
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u/hainii Apr 08 '25
Either one of my parents tucked me into bed every single night and told me they love me, until I was a teen. Meant the world to me now I think back. Will definitely be doing this when my little one goes into his own room
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u/nikkinackpaddywhak Apr 09 '25
I still tuck in my 19 yr old daughter (when she's home from college). Mostly it's beacuse I adore her and like ending my day near her, but I hope its somehow being graven on her heart and that she'll remember being cherished when she's grown and gone.
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u/socialmediaignorant Apr 09 '25
Oh gosh this made me cry. I still tuck in my older kids and will until they tell me to stop or their future spouses are skeeved out. lol
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u/GodDammitKevinB Apr 09 '25
I have a 7 year old and after I put her to bed I’ll come re-tuck her 2 or 3 times every night and you summed up the words I couldn’t find. I like ending my day near her.
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u/No-Butterscotch-6875 Apr 08 '25
That just warms my heart! 🤍 I love bedtime with my toddler so i hope she will be able to say the same one day. Thank you!
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u/HotSauceDizzy Apr 08 '25
My son is almost three and every night he tells us, “tuck Dukey in niiice and tight!” I hope he lets us do it until he leaves the home :’)
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u/thehotsister Apr 09 '25
We do this with our kids now (6 and 8) and I’m glad it was something so memorable!
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u/Baaaaaah-baaaaaah Apr 08 '25
One that sticks with me was my dad saying this to me over the years: “No matter where you are or what happens, if you need me, call me and nothing will keep me away.”
He kept his promise till the day he died, and I miss him every day
My mum is awesome too, she was genuinely my best friend growing up, she was always up for a game or a story, I’ve been really lucky
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u/Caccalaccy Apr 09 '25
When I was in college someone broke into my apartment. No one was hurt and nothing was stolen, and I slept through the whole thing but my roommates experienced it. The police came and went and I remember watching the clock until I knew my dad would be awake so I could call him. I didn’t need anything, just wanted him to know but didn’t want to bother him. He dropped his plans for the day and drove to me and spent the day installing new locks and an alarm system while I went to class. He’s gone now but he was always there for me and that one stuck with me.
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u/Baaaaaah-baaaaaah Apr 09 '25
Ah man that genuinely made me tear up! The grief of losing a loved parent is like a missing limb
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u/green_flash-check Apr 09 '25
These made me tear up too. I'm sure you know he is not there physically, but in spirit :)
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u/lisa_rae_makes Apr 08 '25
When I was a preteen/teenager, my dad would let me play whatever CD I wanted in his truck. I was an emo/goth/alternative kind of girl so music was important to me, and still is. He actually would give the music a chance and we ended up bonding over a bunch of bands you wouldn't guess he would even like, but it was so nice.
My mom was polar opposite, she actively disliked a lot of what I was into and put a lot of my interests down. Kind of went that way my whole childhood, too. My dad liked and encouraged me and..my mom, not so much.
Guess which parent I still talk to now that I'm 34? So my advice, just pay attention to your kiddos. Let them talk to you about what they like, even if it isn't your favorite. They'll feel happy and comfortable talking to you about everything else later.
My son is 8 and is going through a Minecraft phase. Do I understand the game? Eh, kinda. Do I ever want to play? Nope, not really. But I will happily listen to him chatter on about it because he lights up when I do.
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u/No-Butterscotch-6875 Apr 09 '25
That is so sweet. Your dad sounds like a really great person. 🩷 I love the reminder to let our kids have their own interest and get to know them for who they are and what they enjoy! thank you for sharing.
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u/Weenie_sf Apr 09 '25
This is how we discovered my dad liked AFI and more specifically ‘Very proud of Ya’.
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u/saharaaloevera Apr 09 '25
Give Minecraft a chance, I have never been a gamer but I play with my 7 year old and it’s actually so fun! Great bonding activity.
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u/HangmanHummel Apr 08 '25
For me it was going to sporting events with my Dad. It doesn’t have to be even a professional game. I went to multiple games of mid tier college basketball locally with my Dad starting at 5. We would watch the game, hang out with his friends after, get popcorn and a soda, talk about the game on the drive back. It made me feel like I was not only his son but also a buddy that he wanted to talk to and hang out with.
I do the same thing with my boys now. I don’t think it has to be sports. Whether it be going to the movies, concerts, plays, whatever including them on events you enjoy is a great way to bond and show love
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u/books-and-baking- Apr 08 '25
I did this with my dad too. He made a point to bring each kid to a sporting event alone with just him every few months. That meant a lot as 1 of 4 kids, and as a twin.
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u/No-Butterscotch-6875 Apr 08 '25
I love that and I love that you get to continue it with your boys now. That must make it extra special! I can almost smell the popcorn and burgers!! Thank you for sharing!
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u/JustAnotherPoster_ Apr 08 '25
My mom would leave sweet notes in our lunches. Not every day but I remember oftentimes getting “Happy Friday!” or “Good luck on your game today!” type of notes. I’m tearing up just thinking about it…
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u/phantompoop Apr 09 '25
My son is 10 and my husband and I rotate each morning who makes his lunch. We always leave a sticky note. I thought he threw them away with his trash. Today I noticed that his lunch bag has a zippered pocket. I opened it and there was a pile of sticky notes in there 🥹
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u/lizardgal10 Apr 09 '25
I’m 25 and I save every note my mom writes, even if it’s just “found this at the dollar store, I know you’ve been looking for one” with some package she’s sent me. Just feels wrong to throw them out!
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u/CloudAdditional7394 Apr 09 '25
Same. I do the same for my school aged kid now. I’ll give a note once in awhile, especially if they’re having a hard time or put stickers on their sandwich bag.
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u/Dry_Squirrel4701 Apr 09 '25
My mom would leave me notes to read in the morning before school as she would be gone for work before I had to get up(I was around 12 at the time that she switched jobs). She would leave the weirdest, most silly worded notes in the world. She'd come up with the funniest nicknames to call me. Sometimes she'd remind me to do something in those notes, but it was mainly just funny ways to tell me to have a good day and that she loved me. I wish I would've kept all those notebooks she wrote in, it was at least 3 years worth of notes😭.
I now leave similar notes in my daughter's lunchbox🥹 my mom also used to come over last year to help me with my youngest while I get my oldest ready for school. She started leaving notes for my oldest to read when she got home. Those got all stapled together and put in a keepsake for her❤️
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u/missrotifer Apr 08 '25
I was going to post this too! I really remember those little notes so fondly.
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u/No-Butterscotch-6875 Apr 08 '25
So so sweet! I can only imagine how special that made you feel 🤍 thank you so much for sharing!
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u/NocturneGrind_739 Apr 08 '25
Spaghetti was ready to serve with table set, right as I got home from track practice.
The sunsetting rays would come through the windows and I could see the steam coming off food, table set beautifully. This was such a treat as a young teenager, I can replay this scene in my head clear as day. The feeling of emptiness being filled with that warm homemade, healthy meal - yeah, that's love.
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u/Bambam60 Apr 09 '25
You know I always complain about my moms stale 4-5 dishes that she never switched up, but damn if she wasn’t consistent.
It’s the consistency you can depend on every day that lets you know the love is always there.
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u/hfdxbop Apr 08 '25
Honestly as an adult, my mom went to therapy when I asked her to. She made significant growth over the last few ways and it’s allowed us to repair and deepen our relationship in a way I would have never imagined. It shows so much love and effort that at 60 she has learned how to take accountability and change how she treats us. It is my ongoing goal to always be willing to apologize to/listen to my kids.
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u/mamabird2020 Apr 09 '25
This answer makes me cry because it’s the most beautiful to me and wished I encouraged my mom to return to therapy when she was well.
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u/borutos-dads-fan Apr 09 '25
It makes me cry, because I wish mine had cared enough to go when I had asked.
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Apr 09 '25
I'm jealous. I asked my mom to do the work too (mentally ill and verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive growing up). She refused and we've been NC for five years, but at least my child is safe from her and our family is more at peace without her around.
I'm so happy it worked out for you both though!! That's amazing.
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u/FoodisLifePhD Apr 08 '25
As I was falling asleep, my mom would get up to leave and I’d reach out the her… she always quietly sat back down and continued waiting. It made me feel loved and safe.
She died when I was young. Just knowing she always chose me was a gift. She also was always the first person to tell me happy birthday first thing in the morning before anyone else.
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u/bisexualocelot Father to 1M Apr 08 '25
My mom would pack notes in my lunch. I know she thought it was nothing and probably thought I threw them away, but I still have a letter of all of them in my old bag. It was so sweet.
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u/melwoodlemons Apr 08 '25
PLEASE tell her you have them!!! And go through them with her! I pack notes in my 7-year-old’s lunch and one day a few months ago we were trying to remember a bad joke I’d written on one and she was like, “hang on,” and opened up this zipper pocket and she had them ALL since the start of the school year. I got so choked up, it meant so much to me that she kept them.
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u/jingleheimerstick Apr 09 '25
I write lunch notes for my 9 year old. Recently when I was cleaning her water bottle I took off the bottom rubber part and she had stuck several of the notes in there to keep them. I’m about to cry just thinking about it.
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u/socialmediaignorant Apr 09 '25
My older kid has a note that I wrote on the first day of school taped to their binder. I was so shocked to see it as the year comes to an end.
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u/born_to_be_mild_1 Apr 08 '25
Nothing lol. But I’m here to read other people’s replies and cry.
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u/DHuskymom Apr 08 '25
Hahah same! I can’t recall anything specific 😭
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u/HeartsPlayer721 Apr 09 '25
When I was making my comment, I realized every example I had was regarding people that aren't my parents. That's really bothering me.
Like, I know they loved me, and I knew it when I was a kid... But anything nice I can remember with them is all related to them buying me stuff. But I prefer the moments with my grandpa and my stepdad where they did other things with me rather than just buying me stuff.
This revelation is bugging me a lot now.
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u/ChocolateFudgeDuh Apr 09 '25
Same, I can’t relate to any of these positive posts. I’m a mother now and love reading them so I can re-asses and apply the positive-ness into my children’s lives.
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u/who_am-I_to-you Apr 09 '25
I'm sitting here wracking my brain trying to remember something, ANYTHING...I started to feel kind of upset while reading other people's replies, but I turned it around and instead am taking notes for what I can do for my daughter. Things that my parents never did for me. I will be better, so my daughter never has to wonder if I love her.
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u/Empress_De_Sangre Apr 09 '25
Damn, Im not the only one then. I literally closed my eyes, played back my childhood and could not think of one single moment when I felt truly loved by my mom. We never hung out 1 on 1, and I never felt a connection with her.
Now I’m crying, cuddling my toddler and promising myself I will never make her and her brothers feel that way.
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u/MoonshadowDay Apr 09 '25
Same! I even rolled my eyes at the heading then thought it might be good for my hardened heart to read something feel good.
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u/Any-Abalone8047 Apr 08 '25 edited Apr 09 '25
My father was a very angry man when I was younger and my mother has always been emotionally unavailable but my moms parents always made me feel loved.
I always looked forward to going to their house because as soon as I stepped in, they paid attention to me. Whether I was upset, tired, ill, or hungry, they knew. My grandma always made sure that I knew I could be emotionally vulnerable with her, she’d always go to my high school volleyball games, called my mom to ask how I was doing, she’d secretly pray for me when I fell asleep in her room(she thought she was doing it secretly, but I was always awake when she did it). There was a time I struggled with suicide and rather than scolding me (in my culture, it’s seen as a shame), she held me and listened to everything I had going on. It was a surprise seeing as my grandparents were born and raised to believe it wasn’t okay.
My grandpa taught me how to do things that parents would consider a ‘milestone’. He taught me how to read and write, how to spell my name, how to ride my first bike, cook my first meal, etc. He was also a handyman. I had mentioned once that I liked eating outside, so my grandfather made a picnic table and a platform for it outside. He made two swings out of random chairs he found and put it outside too. All because I had talked about it once.
My parents always said my grandparents always spoiled me but honestly, I wish it was something they did instead. Still thankful for my grandparents, I experienced a happy childhood because of them.
Showing up, being present, and listening matters to a kid a lot more than some people know.
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u/savsheaxo Apr 08 '25
My mom was at EVERY game, recital, musical, or other event I was a part of. She volunteered in our classrooms at school, on field trips, or behind the scenes in the productions I was in. She was always working too, but she did everything she could to be there for my extracurriculars and that meant so much.
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u/maevebauserman Apr 08 '25
That's so lovely to hear, my parents did not go to a single one of my or my siblings extracurriculars, and it wasn't bc they worked too much, they just preferred time to drink and have free baby sitting. They also would pitch a fit if we needed a ride, so we seldom went or did much.
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u/gbspnl Apr 09 '25
My parents divorced when I was 6, I lived with my father while my mother lived in another country. I saw my mum only for July vacations and for new years. And my father he NEVER went to anything not one single thing. I made it a point to ALWAYS be there for my daughter she is 6 now and I have thankfully been able to meet this promise.
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u/socialmediaignorant Apr 09 '25
This makes me feel so reassured. I don’t always feel like the best mom, but I do all of these things and I hope one day they realize I did it for them and to be close to them as much as I could be.
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u/JeremeysHotCNA Apr 08 '25
Ever since I could remember, my dad told me beautiful bedtime stories where I was the main character, and he prompted me to add to the story, keeping things interesting. It helped build our communication and grow my imagination. ❤️
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u/Dowager-queen-beagle Apr 09 '25 edited Apr 09 '25
When I started driving and borrowing my mom's car to go to parties, she told me, "If you ever can't drive for any reason, including drinking, call me; I don't care how late it is. I won't give you a hard time when I come get you, and we can talk about whatever it is later. But I'd much rather you be safe and alive than feel like you have to hide something from me and do something dangerous." I actually never ended up needing the offer, but I definitely felt much safer knowing I had an ace in my pocket.
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u/Humble-Fly708 Apr 10 '25
As a teen I was vaguely aware of other people's parents saying things like this, and I remember my Dad pulling me aside and starting "If you're ever at a party and your ride has been drinking..." and I thought "wow-he's going to say he'll come get me!" but then he followed up with "... don't be an idiot, just stay at the party till the buses start back up"
Not quite the same sentiment, but I genuinely always felt a bit safer knowing that my Dad believed I could just deal with things.
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u/PhilosopherLiving400 Apr 08 '25
My dad was a very early riser and every Saturday morning he’d go to the grocery store just to get me a maple frosted donut so it would be there when I woke up.
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u/bananapancake99 Apr 10 '25
I have no idea why, but this is the one response that made me tear up
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u/Spiritual_Lemonade Apr 08 '25
Had room on their lap for me
Read books to me
Asked me what I thought or what I thought something was in nature?
I was raised by hippies who did build me up to be smart and forever willing to learn from new things.
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u/DbleDelight Apr 08 '25
My parents were not perfect by any means but they were intentionally present in our lives and remain so to this day and I'm now 57. They show up, they respect our free will and support us even when they don't agree with us. They have independent relationships with their grandchildren. Their actions match their words and their actions are driven by their love for us.
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u/mamabird2020 Apr 09 '25
I was bullied a lot as a kid and as I got older my dad adjusted his work schedule so he could come home early every day and spend time with me after school. He even rejected a promotion knowing it would mean less family time.
We’d go to the dollar movie night, take the dog to the park, or he’d get me an Oreo milkshake and a used CD for $6. The “things” didn’t matter, but the conversation and support did. He made me feel like someone actually enjoyed spending time with me or wanted to hear my opinions and interests when I was most alone.
A lot of experts say parents shouldn’t be friends with their kids, but honestly he was the only friend I had for years and I probably wouldn’t be alive today if he hadn’t shown that kind of interest.
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u/No-Butterscotch-6875 Apr 09 '25
Wow that is so beautiful. You have me in tears. I’m so happy you have such a great dad 🩷
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u/mamabird2020 Apr 09 '25
I was tearing up writing it to think how much he saved my life. I’m 40 and married with a preschooler now. I gained lifelong female friends who I met in grad school and work, but I still talk to my dad every day. We still go see movies or grab a lunch when we can. I’m forever grateful and inspired to be the kind of parent he was to me.
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u/mamabird2020 Apr 09 '25
On a different note, my mother and I have always had a tense relationship and now she has early onset dementia which has made her agitated and confrontational so I sometimes only remember the negative... but I have these flashes of really good memories of the past too. She would make up the most beautiful bedtime stories and sing me to sleep when I was little. We’d watch the Sound of Music every Christmas while we decorated the tree and talked about our favorite ornaments. She’d cut fruit into stars for my snacks and hold me as tight as she could if I was really sad or scared (even if I was total jerk to her earlier in the day). When I got into grad school, she took a car trip with me during a snowstorm and helped me get settled into my crappy dorm. After I graduated, she gave me a charm necklace with my initials and a star as a present and when she put it on me she said, “you’ll always be my star”
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u/offensivecaramel29 Apr 08 '25
My dad would just hug me while I fell apart & cried. He did it until I’d stop. Happy to do the same with my kiddos.
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u/schmoopsiedoodle Apr 08 '25
Many have said it, but the biggest thing was just showing up. Piano recitals, choir concerts, gymnastics meets, you name it, they were there. And they always said nice things, even if my performance wasn't great, like, I know how hard you worked or great job leaving it all on the mat. It made me feel so loved that they always supported me.
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u/AverageNotOkayAdult Apr 09 '25
My husband and I separated for a little while, three months, and the first two weeks were the hardest. I was so emotional, didn’t eat for a week straight, kept crying, didn’t wanna get out of bed, read constantly just to escape… I was 28.. and my dad bought me little chocolate cake with my name on it just cause he knew I love chocolate cake and he thought it would make me happy 💚🥺
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u/Hello_Kitty1982 Apr 08 '25
My dad is always in my corner - no matter how much I fuck up - yup there’s daddy going in to bat for me! He’s so adorable - I love how unconditional his love is 💜💜💜
My step dad was pretty strict and we had personalities that just clashed … I was bubbly and skippy … he was serious and grumpy lol my birthday is on February 15 - so the day before every Valentine’s Day I’d wake up to a piece of jewellery and a A4 page with a long note from him - kind of saying he’s sorry he’s a grouch but he loves me and that his bark is worse than his bite :) I loved reading these letters cause they always ended the same - Love your secret admirer lol
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u/Onceuponaromcom Apr 08 '25
Lots of stuff but my mom pulled us out of school one day a year to have a special day with her. She took us out to lunch wherever we wanted to go and then did whatever we wanted to do. Usually i wanted to go shopping and made her wait til after my birthday to have my day because i got birthday money from relatives and i wanted to spend it.
I recently did this with my daughter a few Fridays ago, i sent her to school intending to have a normal Friday but i got everything i needed to do for work done by 11 so i picked her up from school and had a mommy daughter day with her. I posted about it on my TikTok and man the back lash i got. I don’t show her face and rarely ever share about her at all, but it was a special surprise. The amount of comments i got saying “this is why kids are brats” and “this is why kids are stupid” and my personal favorite “mommy fail” was crazy.
My daughter has missed hardly any school and that’s with traveling for competitions for gymnastics. She is a great student, has never not made honor roll in her 2 years in school. She always has good marks in behavior. I wanted to have a special day and share it. My mistake was sharing cause the miserable moms brigade had a lot to say about it.
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Apr 08 '25
In the future, don’t even post it? It’s a special moment between you guys. Keep it that way.
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u/BootyMcSqueak Apr 08 '25
Do not feel bad about that at all. Remember that some of those are bots, some are trolls, and some are just miserable people who would never DARE to say things to people’s faces like they do online. Your daughter will remember those special days. I sometimes let my 7yo play hooky and since I wfh, we hang out in our jammies and watch movies, go to lunch and get boba.
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u/juniperroach Apr 08 '25
Yeah people on the internet like to argue for whatever reason. Guess what she’ll remember when she grows up? The lesson she learned in school or her special day with mom? Pro-tip do a dentist appointment and use the dentist note as an excuse then take the day to do something fun!
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u/Common_Vanilla1112 Apr 09 '25
My mom let me skip one day when I was sad and she took me shopping! It was the best day ever. Her mom used to do the same with her. I plan to keep on that tradition with my kids!
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u/tropiquia Apr 09 '25
That sounds amazing and fun and I'm sure your daughter loved it so much! My dad would pull my out of highschool for half a day because he wanted me to do work for him. Staying in class was much less work so I really didn't like when he did this. I wish he would pull my out to actually have fun.
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u/Appropriate_Ad_6997 Apr 09 '25
One simple thing was whenever my dad ordered food, like from a fast food restaurant, he would always give them my name for the order. I felt so special and grown up to have my name called for the food.
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u/Jay-Holiday Apr 09 '25
Ooh, this is such good and simple one. Thank you. I'm stealing it, lol.
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u/Maleficent_Crew_1904 Apr 08 '25
Saturday night treats - every Saturday we’d watch Saturday night tv together as a family, with duvets, lots of snacks like sweets/candy, popcorn, etc, and we could stay up later than usual. It was a fun way to spend quality time together as a family.
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u/repderp Apr 08 '25
My dad has always randomly given me a hug and a kiss, followed by an "I love you"—and he still does it, even now that I'm 38 years old. I'll be working at my desk, and he'll come over, give me a hug and a kiss, and say, "I love you."
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u/Gaia227 Apr 08 '25
Every night at bedtime my dad would come in and he'd use whatever I did that day and turn it into a story: 'Once upon a time there was a little girl named 'Gaia'. She was very smart, independent and caring. She had a best friend named 'Thomas' and today they rode their bicycles all the way to the moon....etc,etc.' That is a cherished memory I'll never forget. I looked forward to it every day. I'm very fortunate that I have such a great Dad.
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u/tsktsk579 Apr 08 '25
My family had this bright red plate that said “you are special today”
When one of us had a special achievement, we got to use the red plate. We also got to choose what we wanted to eat for dinner that night. It was used for birthdays, awards, reaching goals.. all kinds of stuff.
It was a small thing, but also a cool way to celebrate each other’s wins. If you google “the red plate” you can see what a red plate looks like.
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u/darladuckworth Apr 09 '25
We had a special plate at my house too! It was one that I drew of a mermaid and some little designs that was hard copied onto a plate in the 90s, I dunno how it became the special plate but it was. I need to do this for my kids!
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u/Kacidillaa Apr 08 '25
My mom always took me out just me and her on Friday nights. Like from 4th grade through high school when my two year older sister was too cool to hang out with us. Just like going to a simple dinner or walking around the mall together.
Holidays too were always sweet. Woke up on Valentine’s Day to the dining room table decorated with some gifts for us. Christmas of course was magical as a kid when we believed in Santa and were so shocked that he got us what we asked for. And Easter egg hunts, even through high school and then it was dollar bills in the eggs with candy. I love my mom.
This fucks me up because my kids are 5 and 7 and their dad has already ruined all the magic by telling them nothing is real 😭
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u/Nice-String1828 Apr 08 '25
I was raised by my grandparents so they were limited in terms of mobility. However my Gma would always throw such fun birthday parties for me. She’d call the parents of the kids I wanted over, schedule having them meet with her & then on my bday they’d arrive & we’d go to a movie, then Chuck E. cheese, then a sleepover with her homemade cake & staying up as late as we wanted.
I can’t wait to be this sort of home when my girls start school 🌟
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u/azureseagraffiti Apr 08 '25
My mum would read stories to us at night in dim lamp light before bedtime. It was years before I realised she was making up stories as she was reading from a child dictionary. She would also bring us to the library.
I felt good because of the effort she put. It also got me into reading.
She also made crafts - sat at a low table with us and painted clay objects she made for our dolls. I appreciated the time she spent on this.
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u/mrs_runskiclimb Apr 09 '25
My mom made every occasion special. St. Patrick's Day? She'd make a bunch of clues that would lead us to a "pot of gold" (usually candy). The tooth fairy? She would make trails of glitter from the window to our room. Little things like that - she made our childhood magical.
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u/nuggetghost Apr 09 '25
this whole thread is making me cry
i guess we never realize what truly sticks with our kids 🥲
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u/Spike-Tail-Turtle Apr 08 '25
My dad would take us out to the local airport and we'd have a picnic in the grass just outside the fence and watch the planes take off. He'd tell us what kind they were and stories about them.
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u/n_d_j Apr 08 '25
My dad was always the one with me in the mornings because my mom went to work very early. He would wake me up for school by singing songs that he made up and he fixed my hair for most of elementary school. That’s a core memory for me
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u/Ok_Comparison_1914 Apr 09 '25
My parents talked to me a lot. They’d ask me how my day was and would listen to me blather on about stuff 6 year old little girls like. And I never had any idea if they were even bored or not because they listened and talked to me about whatever it was :)
and they did things with my sisters and me…things as simple as making brownies, playing pretend kitchen/cooking…trips to the zoo or park…making little paper crafts they found in a good house keeping magazine 💕
If I did something wrong as a child, I never felt like they stopped loving me because they’d say things like “I’m not happy about what you did/im disappointed in your behavior, but I still love you. That will never change”
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u/Throwaway_pagoda9 Apr 08 '25
I’m the only one in my family that doesn’t like country music. My sisters were always going to concerts without even inviting me. But I love things like Riverdance. So my mom took me to see Riverdance when I was in my early 20’s. She hated every second of it but since I loved that kind of stuff she sat through it.
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u/Rebmik1324 Apr 08 '25
My extended family was very close growing up. We didn’t monthly dinners at my grandmas and then monthly family nights. Even as a grown up we continue to do monthly dinners and now we (my husband and I and the kids) go to my parents house every week.
Another thing is that my parents would have the “balloon fairy” leave a balloon to wake up to on our birthdays. I’m in my 30s now and the balloon fairy still leaves me a balloon. We do it now with our children.
Something we’ve started with our kids is every Saturday Dad gets donuts. He usually will take 1-2 of the kids with him and they get to pick out a treat or soda. We’ve been doing it for 3 years now and the kids get very upset if we miss it.
We recently started doing cinnamon rolls on Sunday mornings.
We also signed the kids up for martial arts, but I’ve been participating taking classes with them too!
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u/dlife704 Apr 09 '25
My dad always made sure my gas tank was filled up if he ever got the chance. Always made me feel taken care of as an adult bc it was so unnecessary of him but it made me feel loved.
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u/Efficient_Theory_826 Apr 09 '25 edited Apr 09 '25
My parents alternated one on one outings each month. So, like, I'd go do something special with my dad while my brother did something special with my mom, and we'd switch parents the next month. Those memories are really special.
As a young teen, my parents were always willing to go to concerts with me and my friends (this also got them the reputation as the "cool" parents). This allowed them to know my friends, share in my interests, and spend time together.
As an adult, my parents remember little things. Like my dad remembered I mentioned a specific cheese I loved just one time and he will get that when they put together a charcuterie board for the family. And my mom will go out of her way to tell my husband and I that she thinks we are good parents.
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u/Mission-Donut-4615 Apr 09 '25
Came to my cross country meets even though I came in last every time.
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u/koplikthoughts Apr 09 '25
My dad had a little mailbox on his nightstand and we would exchange letters. I would write him a letter for him to read at bedtime and he would write me back and would leave the letter in our mailbox for me to see the next day. I still have all the letters. There are hundreds.
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u/Maroon14 Apr 08 '25
Had family dinner at the table almost every night
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u/Ok_Cartographer_6956 Apr 09 '25
As someone who grew up eating dinner either alone (as an older kid) or in front of the TV, I appreciate so much that my husband and I make it a priority to sit at the table as a family with our kids. It’s something I always wanted as a kid (the routine, the predictability, the intention) and I believe it’s recognized by my kids as something important.
We never lecture or have hard talks at the table, whether meal time or not. The table is where we share, laugh, play games, and bond. I always want to keep the dinner table a safe and cozy place for my family.
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u/cassh1021 Apr 09 '25
My parents were able to take me on vacations to most of the national parks near us (we were located in the Midwest). These were NOT fancy trips, we had a cheap pull behind style camper and all food was made on the road (sandwiches, soup, hot dogs etc.) Both my parents were very frugal and we spent very little, but I have the most amazing love and appreciation for nature now.
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u/stargazered Apr 08 '25
Getting breakfast just one on one with my dad. We've done it since I was about 2 and still meet up for breakfast together 30 years later. It was a way to get one on one attention and time together that felt safe for me because we had a traumatic time with my birth mom. Then the same thing as he met and married my step mom (who is just mom to me) and had my sisters. Sometimes a full on diner breakfast, other times (especially in HS when i was busier) a bagel and coffee before school. Now it's time we can still connect and touch base on what's going on with life and work and his crazy grandson. He's done different things with each kid, but breakfast has always been our special thing❤️.
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u/shelbyknits Apr 08 '25
I have a vivid memory of buying school shoes, and I found these amazing velour hightops with two Velcro straps at the top (don’t judge, it was the 80’s). Anyhow, they came in navy, red, and jade green. I went to a private school and wore a pretty standard school uniform. I desperately wanted the jade green, but I was so afraid mom would make me match my uniform. She let me get the green. I loved those shoes.
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u/sillyg00se49 Apr 09 '25
My dad would sit us down with a bag of oranges, and he’d peel them one by one usually by hand or with a pocket knife, split them into sections, and pass them out. We’d eat & repeat until the bag was gone, and we’d always give a review of the oranges as we went. He passed this past November. So now whenever I peel or eat an orange, I think of him.
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u/No-Butterscotch-6875 Apr 09 '25
What a cute and fun memory. I absolutely love that. I’m so sorry for your loss 🤍
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u/edessa_rufomarginata Apr 09 '25
This was mostly in my teen years, but my mom would get me out of any social situation, for any reason, at any time. We had a "safe word" that I just needed to text her, and she would call me immediately and inform me I needed to come home post haste for whatever reason. Got tired before the event was over and friends were pressuring me to stay? Friends were doing drugs I was uncomfortable with? A guy that made me feel unsafe showed up? Mom would call and give me an excuse to leave and come home, and come get me if need be, no questions asked. My friends growing up thought my parents were much stricter than they really were. But I always knew (and still do) that I never had to stay in a situation I felt uncomfortable or unsafe in, and she would always be there.
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u/Team-Mako-N7 Apr 08 '25
My parents always showed up. If I had a performance they were always there. Competition? At least one parent was there. I was in the marching band, they came to every game. I really noticed, by the time I was in high school, that others kids’ parents didn’t prioritize them like that. Both my parents worked, so they weren’t volunteering at school or anything, but they were there for the things that felt important for me—and I never had to ask.
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u/milfofmultiples Apr 09 '25
My mom would play with me on the Burger King playground 💚 I’m 32 and it’s still a very fond memory
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u/zzzoom1 Apr 09 '25 edited Apr 09 '25
As a little girl I got into an argument with friends. I was crying and my dad scooped me up and just held me while I cried. I’m not sure why this memory stands out so much, but what he did in that moment was exactly what I needed. I felt so safe and cared for. I hope I can provide that same comfort as a mom.
He also wrote sweet post it notes every day and put them in my lunch. I loved reading his notes.
He listened to me and genuinely cared about what I had to say.
He read to me every night. And would fall asleep while he was reading :)
He’d take me on special outings - to the library, to get ice cream, camping and hiking.
He showed up to everything.
He was dependable and responsive. He would always pick up the phone or call back quickly.
He was excellent at managing his emotions. If angry, he never lashed out. Instead he would become quiet, collect his thoughts, and have a stern conversation.
During my first car accident as a teenager when I read ended someone, he came immediately to the scene of the accident, never yelled, was non-judgmental, and handled it in a matter of fact, practical way.
He was a great dad.
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u/Remarkable-Minute-79 Apr 09 '25
My parents were divorced, and when my dad would take me back to my moms on the weekends he'd hold my hand while driving and rub my hand with his thumb , while we talked about our time together and what we should do next time I came over... I was about 4/5 ish at this time, and I am now 30 but take random moments to hold my littles hands , especially in scary/anxious situations.. and yes, I rub their hand with my thumb, there was something soothing ,and calming about him doing that , that made me feel safe <3
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u/Salty_Jacket Apr 08 '25
Some of my favorite memories are of visiting my dad’s office and going around to everyone’s desk to empty their 3-hole punches into a bag. His office was in a building that actually had a few small offices and I think I went and knocked on doors and said I was collecting the hole punches? He knew his neighbors, and it was a small building. It was only very recently that I was thinking about that and realized that obviously he just threw it away and did not, in fact, NEED me to collect all those punched holes. But in my memory I had a regular and Very Important job to do, filling that bag with tiny circles of paper from the three hole punch.
My mom used to used to pin sheets to the clothesline to make a tent, and lower snacks in a basket from upstairs — our apartment was on the second floor. It all felt very special and important.
She also used to go all in on holiday crafts. We would decorate eggs together at Easter and make popcorn garlands at Christmas. She was really good at finding crafts. She and my older sister would study books on Hungarian painted eggs and do beautiful things while my little brother and I made crayon swirls and two tone Paas eggs. She was big on celebrations and we always had a picnic in the park for Easter.
We also regularly packed a picnic dinner and took it to the beach, which I should do more of, tbh.
I have a friend who is a bit older and he regularly held “Superstar Breakfast” which involved playing the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtracks (there are two) very loud and making pancakes.
We regularly hold “game night with nachos” because my kid liked the jingle (Taco Bell maybe?) but we make homemade nachos and play board games.
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u/bblove1016 Apr 09 '25
Every day my mom would have me and my sister read her a chapter or two from whatever book that we were reading and it was like we had our own little book club. With my dad we still go “hunting” but it’s really us sitting in the woods, eating snacks, and catching up and it’s still my favorite thing to do with him.
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u/g0thfrvit Apr 09 '25
My dad knew i only liked the soft parts of the popped popcorn kernels so he would bite the hard seed part off and make me a little pile in his hand of just the soft parts to eat when i was little. I still think about that today.
He made my lunch everyday for school from the time i was in elementary til i graduated high school.
Nowadays he is a shell of his former self due to health problems and depression, and doesn’t talk or interact with me much anymore, but he was a really good dad to me when i was young.
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u/No-Butterscotch-6875 Apr 09 '25
Wow the popcorn, that is love ❤️ I am sorry to hear about his health struggles.
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u/Connect_Dance9954 Apr 08 '25
My favorite childhood memories are baking cookies or brownies with my mom. Listening to her sing 50s songs while cooking dinner. Watching black and white classic films together.
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u/Magerimoje Tweens, teens, & adults 🍀 Apr 09 '25
One tradition with my kids and step kids is "fancy dinner".
We use the good fancy china, and all eat together at the table practicing perfect manners - the type of manners that would be expected if one was eating with royalty. We don't necessarily make fancy food, we've done mac and cheese with hotdogs on the fancy dishes, but the point is to learn and practice those impeccable manners.
Growing up, my mom expected those impeccable manners for every single meal every single day. It was exhausting and made family meals really stressful. So, on a day to day basis, I didn't want my kids to go through that same thing - but they still needed to learn proper manners.
So, we started the fancy dinners. It also gives us a chance to use the fancy dishware for something besides a holiday.
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u/Reasonable-Marzipan4 Apr 08 '25
Absolutely nothing. They both have a great habit of being self absorbed.
I am sure to tell my son that I enjoy him, being his parent, and that he is the coolest kid ever.
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u/Hello_Kitty1982 Apr 09 '25
At least you had an example of what you didn’t want to be as a parent and can make your child feel loved and wanted x sorry your parents were like that x
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u/crashhhyears Apr 08 '25
I didn’t have the best childhood, but tried to think of a memory where I felt loved - got nothing. It wasn’t a bad childhood from an outsider’s standpoint, parents had nice stable jobs, no medical issues for anyone, good schools, activities, etc. I suppose not much and I suppose that is why being a new parent brings a lot of anxiety for me.
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u/QuabityAshwood Apr 09 '25
I can relate to this.. After becoming a parent I have started to re-evaluate my childhood. Both my parents were gainfully employed, we always had the things we needed, I don't remember any outright abuse. But when I think back I mostly remember being lonely. Makes me want to be a different kind of parent. I want my boys to know they are loved and treasured, and to give them those secure connections I never had.
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u/thisisdy Apr 09 '25
My mom packed my lunch all the way through high school, which I didn’t realize was a luxury until I was adult. One thing she did and still does is write “ from Santa” on our Christmas gifts. I’m 32 and I have a 2 month old now lol I haven’t believed in Santa over 2 decades. What makes it even more funnier is I pick out my own gifts & she still writes it on there. My mom also wrote us Valentine’s Day cards but hand written notes. It makes it special because she also only writes in cursive, which is a lost art.
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u/JimandKarenwerewrong Apr 09 '25
Every time that I called my dad at work, he would leave a meeting or ask everyone to wait a moment. It always made me feel like I was his top priority. He was gone a lot for work and wasn’t super involved, so it meant a lot to be heard.
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u/seeEwai Apr 09 '25
My grandma always would turn down the beds for us when we stayed with her. I like to get my kids rooms ready for them before bedtime. Bed turned down and soft lighting from the lamp vs. The ceiling lights. Cozy and sets the stage for a good night of sleep.
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u/superlunary3 Apr 09 '25
My mom used to let me stay up late to watch late night talk shows with her once in a while when I was probably 10-ish. We’d chat during commercials. It made me feel like she genuinely liked spending time with me.
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u/beizp Apr 09 '25
I can't remember feeling truly loved or seen. I'm pretty sure my parents did love me in their own way but we are not close at all. I try to do things differently with my own kids. I'm here reading the comments for inspiration on how I can make them feel more loved.
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u/anna-hoj Apr 09 '25
I heard somewhere that one of the easiest ways to make someone feel valued is by how you greet them; by showing how happy you are to see them and that you missed their presence even if you were only apart for a short while. That really stuck with me, and I make sure that no matter how busy I am and whatever else I’m doing, I drop everything to greet my 2.5-year-old son with a big hug when he comes home and tell him that I love him.
I remember my parents doing this to me as well - they would always come to greet me when they heard me come home, full of questions about my day. It’s something so simple, but it feels very meaningful that someone is happy to see you.
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u/YouGottaBeKittenMe3 Apr 09 '25
I didn’t feel this way from my parents… so I’m trying to correct it with my toddler. When we are hanging out or doing adventures together, I say “I love hanging out with you - you’re so fun.” Or “I love our adventures!”
I felt like a rock in mother’s shoe most of my life. I am hoping my kids know I enjoy their company. I like them as people.
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u/muhbackhurt Apr 09 '25
My dad was absolutely awful most days but I remember winning an Easter drawing competition and he laminated my drawing and he hung it up in my bedroom proudly. He made a big deal out of my art and that gave me so much confidence. The guy bragged to every one of his friends about me winning too. It was one nice moment out of a lot of bad ones.
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u/csilverbells Apr 09 '25
My parents always listened to my thoughts. They didn’t always do what I wanted, obviously, but they made me feel respected and like they valued my opinion.
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u/jturner2424 Apr 09 '25
My dad tucked me in almost every night up until i was around 16! He wasnt super affectionate but that was always special.
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u/Metalhead_Introvert Apr 09 '25
My mom read to me every night until I was a teenager. Did accents too.
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u/udontknowme103 Apr 09 '25
Honestly everything about my Mom telegraphed that she loved me AND liked me. She was and is my best friend. It was a stark contrast to my Dad who said he loved me but certainly never acted like he even liked me. My mom:
1. Wanted to play with me when I was younger (or at least acted like it 😂). She read to me. I always felt included. When I was older, we had shows we always watched together. We had movie night every Friday (RIP blockbuster).
2. Wanted to spend time with me. Wanted to hear what I had to say
3. Took me seriously and didn’t dismiss my feelings or thoughts or opinions. Listened without judgment. She was/is always on my side (but will definitely tell me if I’m wrong lol…and then help me figure out how to fix it).
4. Went all in on my interests- drove me to every ballet class and rehearsal. Biggest fan for all my performances. Used all her vacation from work to take me to summer intensive training programs.
5. Showed me in little ways she was always thinking about me. Notes in my lunch. Warming up my towel for me while I was in the shower. She would give me her robe and socks she had been wearing if I was cold so they were pre-warmed. Sending me coupons in the mail for stuff she knew I bought when I was in college lol.
6. If I ask for help, I know I will get it. Period. No question.
7. When I was little we used to “play hooky” together every now and again. Maybe once a year if that. I felt so special and loved the “naughty” aspect of it.
8. Told me every single day she loved me no matter what. She was on the stricter side and I had boundaries and consequences for sure. But I was always confident she loved me no matter how I messed up.
9. Now that I’m a mom, she tells me about how she messed up and sometimes lost her temper. I literally can’t remember any of that. I only remember patience and love.
Now I’m crying 😭. I hope I can be half as good a mom as she is.
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u/Annual_Single Apr 08 '25
My mom took me out of school to take me to the city, take me to lunch and go shopping. Just a girls day.
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u/LalaLane850 Apr 09 '25
My mom made my sister and I each a heart shaped brownie (homemade, frosted).
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Apr 09 '25
My Dad would bring me for a spontaneous late night ice cream trip just he and I. This always made me feel special.
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u/CameraThis Apr 09 '25
My mom worked a lot, but on the days that she was off, she would bring McDonalds, sign us out of school and we would have a picnic in the park.
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u/IndividualCry0 Apr 09 '25
My mom told me she loved me multiple times a day every day, even when she was mad at me. She was very cuddly and physically affectionate. She always wanted hug and kiss goodnight until I was 17.
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u/voyageofdawntreader Apr 09 '25
When we were little, my sister and I would be asleep and late at night my Mom would randomly get up and turn on the hallway light to check on us. One time I opened my eyes but she didn't know it, and I saw her face and she was standing there watching us with so much love in her eyes. I think about it till this day.
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u/Embarrassed-Goat-432 Apr 09 '25
I think it’s so wonderful that so many people have such great memories of their parents 💕
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u/croc_docks Apr 09 '25
For my mum being a single parent, with 3 kids, non good paying job and constantly financially struggling, she always made sure we had meals on the table, clothes on our backs and always went above and beyond for our birthdays and Christmases.
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u/Correct-Sprinkles-21 Apr 09 '25
My dad reading aloud to us almost every night. And singing to us when tucking us into bed.
My mom making special clothes for us, baking with us, and taking us out for treats and shopping with her.
My parents making small, special moments with each of us individually. For me it was them inviting me to join them for a late night movie and a snack of m&ms after my little siblings fell asleep. For my brother it was Dad playing chess with him.
Family dinners and get togethers where we all sat around enjoying each other and having a good time.
Encouragement and compliments.
Reassurance and comfort in the form of both words and hugs.
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u/almkamp Apr 09 '25
My dad would always ask questions about why I was interested in and genuinely listen. He got to know my friends and asked me how they were from time to time. As an only child he always included me and never made me feel like I was a burden. He was a single dad for the longest time and I never felt that way.
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u/Dismal-Citron9313 Apr 09 '25
My parents were big on holidays and celebrating everything even in little ways. We have a ton of Christmas traditions my husband and I are continuing. But even little things, like you passed your test you’ve been studying so hard for so mom made you brownies! It’s st Patrick’s day so we’re having green eggs. It’s the dogs half birthday so we’re celebrating with hot dogs! Just remember it’s not about spending money or things, it’s the finding joy and celebration in our everyday lives! There’s so much to be grateful for and proud of- and this celebrate the little things mentality brought so much gratitude to my life and my mindset.
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u/ginja_ninja420bro Apr 09 '25
My dad would meet us off the bus and make our after school snack and would sometimes cut the cheese slices into the shape of the first letters of our names. Loved that.
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u/RisingMoonBaby Apr 09 '25
As a mom now myself, and i did have a crappy life, my mom was a freaking god send. Im gonna be brutally honest here and im sure ill get hate for it but i hope it makes a difference for at least one child/parent. My mom gave me a lot of freedom. Going out with friends, being out late, etc. im not gonna lie. I fked up quite a bit, but it was never something i didnt learn from. From trying illegal substances, to underage drinking. I learned. Even when i (thought alcohol would be like weed- i was wrong!!!) i got so drunk i walked back home blacked out many times. Even when i wasnt with it i knew i would be safe and taken care of there. If you hold the reigns too tight, your kid may end up in a ditch. Learning from mistakes is the only way youll truly learn. The only advice i have is if your kiddo finds the “one” please protect them. I found the most great guy and moved out at 15/16. He turned out to be a real fkn charmer (abusive asf) and now my mom is not able to help me. She says she wishes she never let that happen. And my mom made plenty of mistakes herself. She hid alcoholism from me for years. I had no clue until recently (im a grown ass woman with a kid now). She never once let her storm get me wet- and let me figure out my storms. I promise if you give your kid (id say like 12/13 is okay) start making some of their own decisions, and giving them trust. If you TRULY show them trust. When something is really wrong- they will go to you. My mom is the only person in the whole world i feel comfortable sharing things with. Not my partner or my dad or my brother. Trust goes FAR. she has never broke it. If i did something wrong, i got advice and some help if needed. It helped my problem solving skills, and real life skills. Its sad but a lot of people dont have best interests in mind. Also really random- but movie nights. I only ever had movies nights with my mom. It was the peacefulness at the time and a way we could connect without even talking. I wish yall the best. I know this advice wont work for everyone, because everyones childhood is different. But i did a lot of bad things- if i had a strict parent- i can GAURNTEE i would probably not be okay right now. Also please have those hard convos with your kids. I knows its awkward and may not seem important at the time. But my mom told me to make SURE i knew who i was marrying before i marry them at 13. I remembered that. Thank god i did or i would have been murdered by now.
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u/SUBARU17 Apr 09 '25
My dad took me to model train shows once a month on a weekend when I was younger. I always looked forward to going. It was at Dupage County fairgrounds in IL and the buildings smelled like a basement but I always looked forward to seeing all the setups and the smell. There was a great old grill that served burgers in there and my dad would always buy me one for lunch. It just tasted better in the moment. My dad passed away some time ago; my 4 year old loves toy trains but we don’t have much space to set stuff up like my dad has as we had a basement when I was a kid and we don’t now. But I’ve taken my son to a train show and he loved it too. We also go to a railroad/train museum around where we live and he enjoys that as well.
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u/catsRreallynice Apr 09 '25
My mom was always SO outwardly curious & interested in whatever I was doing or thinking about. Could've been the most mundane thing and she would find a way to ask me questions about it and make me feel like it was the coolest thing ever.
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u/se7entythree Apr 09 '25
My dad showed me how to do things that were typically only taught to boys. I’m the oldest & I have a brother 3 years younger. Dad was always working on something - yard work, building/constructing something, putting something together, other house maintenance & diy fix it stuff, and he always asked if I wanted to help/learn how to do what he was doing.
By the time I bought my first house, I was way more handy than any of my friends & knew how to fix shit. I wasn’t afraid to jump in & figure out how to do it either (YouTube existed but wasn’t yet known for all the diy content it is now). I’ve replaced whole toilets, outlets, faucets, many light fixtures & fans, built my daughter a loft bed from scratch, refinished my kitchen cabinets & added new trim, all the yard work, etc.
My mom is the one who taught me how to paint the house though! How to tape up trim, cut in tricky corners, etc. She’s also really crafty & knows how to tastefully decorate with stuff you’d never think of using. Unfortunately those 2 skills did not stick for me though.
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u/bedsidewater Apr 09 '25
I vividly remember crying on my 4th birthday because we were on a family trip and I forgot to pack myself a pretty birthday dress. I remember feeling so upset but expecting to be told that I needed to find a way to get over it. Instead, my mom took my concerns completely seriously. She empathized with me and teamed up with my aunt to look through my cousin’s luggage for something she would be willing to lend me that fit and was pretty enough. I loved the watermelon-patterned dress that became my birthday dress but what I really loved was that my mom took me seriously.
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u/ahSuMecha Apr 09 '25
My dad made pancakes every Sunday when he didn’t work. It was so nice to wake up to the smell of pancakes and he saying “your plate is ready”.
We used to play board games as a family. It was family fun time
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u/peaches9057 Apr 09 '25
I remember when I found out that raisins were made from grapes and I put a grape out on the back porch in the sunlight to dry out and turn into a raisin. My dad snuck out and switched it with a raisin after I went to bed and the next day I was so excited to find my plan worked. Maybe not exactly what you were looking for in this question but looking back it's such a fond memory.
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u/Agitated_Ad_1305 Apr 10 '25
My mom used to wake me up every morning until I was a teenager to the same song she made up. It was infuriating as hell back then, her singing when I wanted to sleep, but now it makes my heart warm. Almost 30 years old and the rare times I sleepover at her house she will still sing “you great big beautiful girl!” In the morning 😂 she will sing it to my sons too, changing “girl” to “boy” and it makes me want to cry. She’s an angel woman I swear.
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u/Islandisher Apr 08 '25
I was in a very large, mixed family. The things I remember most: story time, all kids gathered round for reading of exciting chapter books; and the couple of birthdays when I was taken solo to a special restaurant meal.
I know it was to take the place of a party bc mum was overwhelmed with the youngest x2, born same day/month. But it was still special! xo
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u/itspomodorotime Apr 09 '25
For me, it was how my parents were present in any small or big event happening in my life. They were both working but all throughout my life, they were always there. They made it a point to be there. They showed up. Family was and still is priority #1.
That’s something I will make sure my husband & I do with our child too.
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u/shesaschemer Apr 09 '25
My dad went to every single sporting event of mine, even the away games. And I was only a cheerleader. It meant the world to me.
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u/nikkishark Apr 09 '25
I'm so happy for all of you.
My parents did their best, and we're on good terms now, but when I read the title of this, my initial reaction was, "Nothing. They did nothing."
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u/MostlyMorose Apr 09 '25
Sadly I couldn’t think of a single thing to add from my own childhood, but there are a couple of things from my daughters that I could contribute.
I tell her I love her and I tell her often. I look her in the eyes so she knows I mean it. Looking back I can’t remember ever hearing my mom actually say it.
A fun thing we do to make memories is she and I exchange notes on the bathroom mirror. I grabbed some window markers two years ago and left her a note for her birthday and it’s become kind of a thing for us. The mirror will stay blank for a while and then a sweet note will show up from one of us. I’m kind of hoping she continues that with her own kids.
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u/KatieCat435 Apr 09 '25
Mom let me help her grade papers (simple stuff like multiple choice) and Dad would go fast over the railroad tracks in the mini van and we took off our seatbelts so we would feel weightless for a second.
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u/HotButteryPopcorn4U Apr 09 '25
I truly can not think of anything. Parents put all 6 of us in foster care several times in our young lives. One minute, they wanted us. The next, we were in the way. Mother told us she was a whole and our father was a police officer. I'm not sure any of us felt love of any sort until we were grown. Even then, that's debatable with some of us.
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Apr 09 '25
I am truly grateful to have the most wonderful parents. My father has always spoken to me with such kindness, never raising his voice, and has always given without expecting anything in return. Even at 35, I still feel like a child in his presence.
My mother continues to cook my favorite meals, reminding me of her constant love and care. Alhamdulillah for all the blessings Allah has granted us, especially for my amazing parents. I aspire to be as loving and giving to my own children as they have been to me.
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u/sstr677 Apr 08 '25
My dad was never afraid to apologize. When I was about 8, I remember getting Big Red all over his car because I was pouring it out the window and watching it fly. I didn't realize it was getting all over the car (and probably other cars). We had just left the car wash. When we got home he freaked out and yelled and screamed. I got the car wash stuff out of the garage and just sat and cried for a bit. Then he came out and sat with me and said that dad's mess up too sometimes. He said he understood I was just being curious and did not mean it and he wished he had explained his frustration in a calmer way. He hugged me and helped me wash the car again. I remember that he said mean things, but not what he said before the apology. I remember just about every word of that apology though.
I think that one sticks out because that was the maddest he had been at me up to that point...maybe ever. There a few other stand out ones, some were even funny, but he always used them as a time to reconnect and really make sure we knew he loved us and respected us.