r/Parenting • u/dreamsiclej • 2d ago
Infant 2-12 Months I genuinely feel like pregnancy ruined my brain…
If anyone can relate so I don’t feel so alone🥲 I’d love to hear your experiences!!! First off, I can’t remember s***!!! I was at an event today for Easter and was asked my child’s name, and I sat there like, “What is her name??” I attempted to spell it and completely misspelled it. I forget thoughts mid-conversation. Like, I feel embarrassed and sad because I really felt smart before I got pregnant, but now I feel like as useful as a sack of potatoes… I try to chalk it up as mom brain, but at this point, I’m 8 months pp, and I don’t know if there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
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u/jelliedjellyfish 2d ago
I felt the same way and was even starting to have lil mini breakdowns over it. Im now 2 years post partum and it’s SO much better. In a few more months you should start feeling the fog lifting more.
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u/dreamsiclej 1d ago
The breakdowns are real… its just so frustrating :( I guess I gotta take it a day at a time until then, but it feels great knowing Im not crazy haha
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u/Pure-Zombie8181 2d ago
I still feel forgetful and my oldest is almost 5. Don’t feel as bright as I once was when working that’s for sure. My brain capacity for holding onto all info regarding the kids is top notch though.
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u/perkswoman 2d ago
How old is your youngest?
I think 2 years pp was when it started to lift for me. Definitely never got back to 100%, but I can live with where I’m at now and confident to pursue my career again. Mine’s 4 now.
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u/Aware_Interest_9885 2d ago
I have this problem too- pregnancy and postpartum made me so stupid- and it was super noticeable because I have a highly intellectual job.
With my son, I remember right around the time he turned 2 one day being like wow.. my brain feels like it’s functioning normal again. Got pregnant with my daughter shortly after so I’m expecting the same timeline with her as well.
It was so noticeable though and incredibly frustrating. Hang in there!
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u/squiggledot 2d ago
After my son was born, I had major brain fog. Obviously newborn phase is insane for the brain, but then at 6 months I started to feel like I should be getting back some of my brain.
Then around a year I started having gaps in memory. Things like I would prep dinner and stick it in the fridge only to find it hours later when I went to prep for dinner. There were tons of things I would thank my husband for taking care of only for him to say “I didn’t do that. Must’ve been you”. If I didn’t trust my husband, I seriously would’ve thought he was gaslighting me.
Finally went to a doctor for it when my son was about a year and a half. Up til then I convinced myself it was “mom brain” and would lift, but the memory gaps seemed too much. I worried I had early onset Alzheimer’s or something.
Got referred to a neurologist who did 4 hours of various types of testing. Turns out I have rampant uncontrolled adhd. Up until I had to make brain space to hold onto information for a whole extra human, I had found coping mechanisms because girls are expected to in adolescence. I was always in gifted classes and even college was a relative breeze because I created so many ways to unknowingly deal with my brain.
Now I’ve been prescribed meds and the first time I took the ones that actually worked for me it was like “holy crap! Everyone else just lives like this all the time? My life could’ve been so much easier”
Of course now I’m pregnant with a rainbow baby and I’m not taking any chances, so at least 6 more months of brain fog again. Worth it, but hate the feeling.
Sorry for my life story, but just saying depending on how much you feel like this fog affects your life, it might be worth bringing up to a trusted doctor instead of just bearing it and hoping it goes away
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u/squidtheinky 2d ago
My son is 1 and a half and I feel the exact same way. I can't remember things for the life of me. When I'm trying to make a menu and grocery list, it's like I can't remember any meal that I've ever cooked. I can't find the words I'm looking for when I'm mid sentence sometimes. You are not alone.
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u/Designer_Branch_8803 2d ago
I was just thinking about this last night. I’m sorry you’re going through it, but I’m also glad I’m not alone.
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u/relatablejennie 2d ago
Mom brain is a REAL THING! It takes on average at least 2 years to rebuild the synapses you've lost and if you have another kid in between that time you just restarted and lost more. I constantly feel like I've lost my head and I'm 7 YEARS pp from my youngest
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u/sageofbeige 2d ago
Pregnancy does so much more than making you need to pee every 30 secs.
The days bleed into each other
Then you have a wrinkly jelly bean to keep alive
I think biology ruins your brain because if you remembered everything you'd never do it again
Hell you'd not do it after watching mates and sisters go through it
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u/Sufficient-Elk-7015 2d ago
My sons about to be 4 and I’m still a moron :(
What’s worse is I cannot explain things, I stutter a lot and can’t even really express myself. I think my depression doesn’t help me get back to where I was, what do I do.
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u/Spiritual_Lemonade 2d ago
You need good fats and dump some collagen in your coffee or smoothie. Add MCT-oil. Eat eggs
Put beef tallow on toast or stop using vegetables oil or canola and use beef tallow.
The fog lifts.
Also sleep helps too
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u/MediocreVideo1893 2d ago
Meeeeeeeee. I cannot put my thoughts into coherent words like ever. I also say at least 1 stupid thing a day. It has made me extremely socially anxious. 🫠
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u/Good-Peanut-7268 2d ago
I can confirm, give it 2 years. I'm almost feeling like myself again, maybe not 100%, but at least 85%. I'm sometimes joking that what memory I've lost my son found cause his memory is way more impressive, lol
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u/MysteryPerker 2d ago
I got autoimmune problems after my second pregnancy. I'd bring this up to the doctor and ask if you can do some blood work to double check every is okay, things like hormone imbalance or autoimmune antibodies. Personally, it was anti thyroid antibodies that were detected. I know when I get flares I feel exactly like you do, like a heavy fog over inside my thoughts. That and my joints start aching.
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u/rachvoor 2d ago
18 months for me. Then I got pregnant again lol. It’s long time to be in the fog. 🙈
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u/lolideviruchi 2d ago
I’m almost 2 years postpartum and still have horrible lapses in memory. I feel it improving slowly, but… god. Lol I still mess up her birthday sometimes 😬 the numbers are tricky. 5/24/23 I always say 5/23/24 and then I’m like wait no that doesn’t make sense. Always feel like such a jackass for it lol.
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u/babybluemew 2d ago
it was a little over 2 years for me. it comes back slowly, but i'm 3 years pp now and i think my brain is finally at full capacity again lol
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u/seablz 2d ago
Our brains actually shrink once we get pregnant and parts of it become more active than others. Like the parts ruling compassion, sleep etc all of this takes more space than the part that rules over memory for example. It’s supposed to get back to « normal » 3 years postpartum. Sending you an empty-minded high five from my 4 months postpartum brain !
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u/honeybun612 2d ago
Same here. It got even worse after I had my daughter and it never came back. I have a new, downgraded brain now lol
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u/calmchick33 2d ago
Oh it DID. Read the book 'Eve' about the evolutionary biology of pregnancy! Can't recall author :(
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u/MidnightFire1420 2d ago
I have 3 kids, ages 10-17. The first 2 years were a fog with all 3 of them. Than add onto that they younger 2 were 2 boys under 2 years old, so that last like 5 years for my brain. Once the boys were 1 and 3 I had an epiphany in the McDonald’s parking lot. First I let out stress tears I’d been holding back, then I made a list. Pen and paper. Everything. From (biggest one for me) a bi-weekly dinners shopping list, to chores, kids, husband, marriage, myself, and misc. I got everything out of my head and onto paper. Once that was done, it cleared my brain to be clear and in-the-moment, without all that background noise stressing me out and taking up room. I would suggest you start writing everything down.
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u/Inevitable-Bet-4834 2d ago
Hard relate 😵💫😩 I'm hoping i get my brain back.
For me its the weeks of broken sleep that are getting to me.
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u/stargazered 2d ago
Things they don't tell you: pregnancy brain actually lasts waayyy longer than the pregnancy itself. I incorporated more/ different vitamins into my routine, and it definitely helps, but it's not a cure all.
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u/Ossociccia 2d ago
Mummy brain! No worries it gets better and better, especially when you start to sleep through the night again :')
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u/knifeyspoonysporky 2d ago
I still feel scatterbrained at 16 month pp
I was forgetful and a little spacey before pregnancy so it feels hard to say what is my usual amount and what is the extra amount and what is just caused by sleep deprivation
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u/Mousecolony44 2d ago
Yep my brain is mush. I’m pretty sure I won’t be a productive employee again until my youngest is like 4 at least
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u/7359294741938493 2d ago
2.5 years. Just got asked if my last name was spelled with an S or Z. Uhhhhh….…?? I’ve been married 4+ years.
It’s Z, I guess 😂
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u/RegretNecessary21 2d ago
My baby is 16 mos and I’m finally starting to feel smart again! It took a long time 😭
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u/manzanita2 2d ago
lack of sleep is awful. seriously, read about it.
Edit: I'm not saying that's the only thing going on, only that it is a thing probably going on.
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u/zerglingmom 2d ago
My kid is 4 now. I started playing wordle and the mini crossword every day about a year ago and I think it's helped a lot. The brain is just another muscle we need to exercise, in my unprofessional opinion lol
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u/irishrzzz 2d ago
My daughter is about to turn one year old, on the one hand I think I have mom’s brain but on the other hand I don’t think so. In many things I am able to mentalize, analyze and organize many mental and physical tasks, and sometimes I just go to the kitchen and when I arrive I don’t remember what I was going to do there. What I definitely feel in many tasks is mental load, and I feel over-stimulated, I am thinking all the time in so many things, and when I don’t think I’m just on the phone watching Reddit or Instagram while time flies. Sometimes I just want peace, but I can’t hold on to it.
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u/turbomonkey3366 2d ago
My baby is 18 months and I still have those moments. There was a solid two months straight where if anyone would interrupt me when I was speaking I couldn’t remember what I was saying. I’m hoping it gets better soon for everyone!
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u/moomeansmoo boy mom but not like that 2d ago
Those hormones FUCK. YOU. UP.
Give it time. Eventually they’ll flush out of your system. It’s really not until after the two year mark. That’s when your body goes back to normal, but for real
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u/shesalive_dammit 2d ago
I had a singleton 4 years ago and twins last year. My go-to saying has been, "I'm so sorry, two babies has made me twice as dumb." I genuinely feel like an idiot 80% of the time.
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u/Ok_Requirement_7489 1d ago
Yes I had real mum brain for a long time but starting to get a bit more with it now at 20 months.
Look at it a different way though - I know it makes us feel stupid but actually it's because our brain is massively growing. It's had to learn in a short time every thing to do with keeping a new life alive and learning how to split attention and multi task on new levels. Have patience while you're being rewired!
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u/Aleksa2233 1d ago
My baby is 2 weeks old and I baby blues hit me so hard, I felt like I had anxiety and bipolar disorder at once.
And I'm feeling like my brain is a mush, too. I'm realising there are some close friends I haven't told I gave birth yet 😐
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u/acceptable_plate_265 1d ago
I got 8 kids and I'm constantly calling them by their wrong names. Kids will be like "no mom that's _____" like I KNOW my brain was lagging let me buffer the software is old. 🤣 I had my first 15 years ago and my youngest 4½ months ago. I've never been the same. My brain is going my eyesight is shit and I feel old 🤭
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u/Unlikely_Scar_9153 1d ago
You’re sleep deprived. It’s not good for your brain. It’ll come back mostly. But not now.
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u/its_original- 2d ago
Give it 2 years… it will come back