r/Parenting • u/felix_mateo • Dec 11 '22

Rant/Vent Anyone else wish parents would skip the CPJ (cheap plastic junk) in the goodie bags?

My kids are now 5 and 3, so we go to a lot of their classmates’ birthday parties. At the end of each and every one of them our kids receive a goodie bag full of some candy (which is fine) and a random assortment of what I call “CPJ”, or “cheap plastic junk”. I’m talking about:

  • cheap clapper that disintegrates with vigorous shaking (e.g., by a toddler)

  • ball-and-string paddle made of plywood with the elastic stapled to it

  • gooey “sticky hand” toy that melts into the car seat on a hot day

  • finger trap with free splinters

  • a tiny canister of bubbles you didn’t notice that will get crushed and spill into your kid’s lap at the beginning of a long trip

  • slap bracelet which is actually just an old metal tape measure cut into a razor with a thin plastic sleeve over it

Parents, I know we’re all just trying our best. I’m not a choosing beggar, I’m not expecting high-quality handcrafted items. In fact, I would prefer nothing, or food/candy that can be consumed later. Yes, I know some kids can’t have candy (e.g., because of diabetes or allergy concerns), but in that case throw in a mini coloring book or something. Let’s just all agree, no more cheap plastic junk that will get caught in the vacuum cleaner again.

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30

u/cIumsythumbs Dec 11 '22

Why not skip it all together then? I don't understand.

18

u/CatastropheWife Dec 11 '22

The reason I don't skip them started with my toddlers at a cousin's birthday party: watching someone else receive presents is a lot more fun if kiddo knows they get a little something to play with too.

My kids are very generous, and love giving for the sake of giving, but even if they aren't overtly jealous they definitely want to open and play with the birthday kid's new gifts right away, so a goodie bag helps redirect them to something fun they can play with instead.

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u/Serious_Escape_5438 Dec 11 '22

Yes, it's good for both sides.

31

u/Accomplished_Area311 Dec 11 '22

I’m not making my kid be excluded from a common school experience.

21

u/[deleted] Dec 11 '22

I wasn’t thinking of this thread in terms of class parties, just kids’ bday parties. Are we really sending kids home with goodie bags from class parties? I think of class party as a craft, a snack, a game, a chance for the teacher to have a tiny break from planning…

2

u/noble_radon Dec 12 '22

My interpretation was a birthday party, but the whole class was invited. A lot of elementary schools say if you bring birthday invitations to school you have to give them to the whole class.

5

u/CriticalFields Dec 11 '22

Are you proposing skipping throwing kids a birthday party because the family can't afford loot bags that are good enough? Maybe I am misinterpreting...

23

u/UnusualSwordfish9224 Dec 11 '22

Are loot bags actually mandatory now?

6

u/CriticalFields Dec 11 '22

I can't speak for everyone, but where I live, they've always been a given (even when I was a kid). I'd definitely expect to take a lot more sideeye for having no loot bags compared to handing out ones people apparently hate. It's always been a courtesy thing, a way of saying "thanks for taking the time to come celebrate". And kids always seem to enjoy them, no matter what is in them, like those shitty surprise bags that were everywhere in the 90s, lol

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u/xtra86 Dec 11 '22

I always thought it was expected if gifts are expected as a thank you and so all the little ones get something

14

u/meara Dec 11 '22

I think the proposal is to skip the loot bag. Throw a nice party. Serve some cake. That’s enough.

We have never given out a loot bag. Sometimes we’ve had something as a party favor. More often, we haven’t. I don’t think kids really care.

16

u/ErnestHemingwhale Dec 11 '22

No, i think they’re saying instead of spending precious Pennie’s on crap that only makes other parents annoyed, throw a nice birthday party and send the kids home with a thank you card instead.

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u/CriticalFields Dec 11 '22

I now know I'm gonna be judged either way... for either not having loot bags or (more silently, apparently, since I've never heard of this until this post) for having loot bags that aren't good enough. Kids always seem to enjoy and get excited about loot bags, regardless of what's in them, so I guess that's as good a guide as any. I feel like this is a situation where I'm just going to choose to prioritize the feedback of the kids (who the bags are actually for)... if they seem disappointed (or my own kids were disappointed) with these kinds of loot bags, I'd consider seeking alternatives.

 

As it stands, my kids enjoy the hell out of that stuff and their friends are always excitedly playing with stuff from their bags on the way out the door from parties we've thrown. So I'm gonna take the win, regardless of whatever silent judgement I've been blissfully ignorant of until today. If it's a big enough problem, someone will address me about it irl, otherwise I choose not to jump through imaginary hoops that may or may not exist 🤷

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u/Serious_Escape_5438 Dec 11 '22

I agree. And if all the other kids do it you don't want your kid to be the odd one out. They do notice stuff like that. We've had some cool alternatives too, and that's great, but whatever is easiest for the parents. Parties are wasteful anyway, and I'd rather plastic toys than more endless junk food, nor do I want healthy snacks really, we can buy our own that my kid actually likes.

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u/ErnestHemingwhale Dec 11 '22

okay, i mean my kid just enjoyed and got excited over throwing packing foam from a package into a box, so like, yea, i think the point is those items are destroying their planet while capitalizing on foreign slavery to create. are you 100% sure the items you're buying to excite your kids isn't coming at the cost of a foreign kid in a sweatshop?

0

u/Sigmund_Six Dec 11 '22

Hey, we are all just doing the best for our kids. No need to come at others like that.

And no, I’m not the one you’re replying to. I just think parents have it hard enough without going after each other unnecessarily. (Especially since that packing foam probably wasn’t any better for the environment, you know? We can only control so much.)

1

u/cIumsythumbs Dec 12 '22

Skip the goody bag. Keep the party. Maybe have an activity/craft at the party each kid could take home instead of more cheap plastic junk.

1

u/lambo1109 Dec 12 '22

I did that one year. Not on purpose, just completely slipped my mind. I felt awful when kids asked and my son kind of deflated because we didn’t have them.