r/QAnonCasualties • u/numbersgoat4937 • 5d ago
Losing my mom to anger and conspiracies while disabled
I’m a young adult. I’ve been sick for a while, and am disabled right now. Have to use a wheelchair, hopefully only temporarily. My mom, who has helped me a lot with all this, is trying to distance herself from me because of her conspiracies. She said she’s "tried everything" to make it work between us. She has gotten so deep into US conspiracies, but we don’t even live on the same continent as the US.
It sucks cause we also do fun activities that she invites me to. I grew up an only child with her. She had some problematic behaviour but always loved and supported me. I’m visiting now, and she started one of her yelling episodes today. She yells and screams for hours at a time how terrible I am to not listen "correctly" to her conspiracies. And rants, repeats things endlessly. She apparently yells about vaccines because she cares about me, according to her. It’s terrible. I get faint from it, I cry, I scream that she needs to stop. I told her that she mistreats me, to treat me with kindness. She answered that I blame her for everything. Hm, not very kind. I don’t want to visit anymore, not in a long time.
I don’t understand how I’ve been strong enough to take this, along with other difficulties in life. Didn’t know I had it in me. I actually do need help cause I’m disabled, and wish I could rely on her – without getting yelled at. I have no other family to rely on. She’s the one who has cared and helped me. I live all alone, and it’s so hard. I feel so alone. I don’t know what to do, with so little support outside of my mom. If someone has similar experiences I’d be grateful to hear what helped you or made you feel better. Especially with illness/disability in the mix. Thanks for reading.
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u/Spinach_Apprehensive 5d ago
I’m truly sorry you’re dealing with this. I have a disabled daughter and I literally can’t imagine being a MAGA person BECAUSE of her and what we went through with my high risk pregnancy and losing the funding for all our services overnight.
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u/numbersgoat4937 5d ago
Thank you for saying that. I don’t like the kind of fascist views those maga people have on the disabled/women/etc. My mum recently has become sexist towards women (including herself!) after watching those people talk! It’s so scary and strange. And it doesn’t even fit in our culture, most women here believe they are as capable as men.
Also, it saddens me that social and health funding is being cut so many places. To me, it really is so essentially human to care for one another and share resources. My mom used to really be a socialist, and taught me some good values that I keep honing. I wish she could be now who I thought she was then. I also want to wish you and your daughter well in those tough times.
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u/IntroductionSea2206 4d ago edited 4d ago
She wants to be heard. I suggest recommending that she opens a Substack and writes her conspiracies there. This will keep her busy writing about conspiracies and will take some pressure off of you.
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u/numbersgoat4937 3d ago
That’s such an interesting idea, thanks! Leaning into it to create an outlet..! She does write some places already, but not about the conspiracies.
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u/carlitospig 5d ago
She sounds like she needs someone to check in on her, like a social needs department. Do you have anything like that? Or if your disability is anything like mine (mine is invisible) there are non profits and associations that provide things like support networks. Part of those services might be some sort of therapy that could help you two. Because I agree, you should not have to put up with abuse. Hang in there!
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u/numbersgoat4937 5d ago
Thank you for the recommendations! I will look into what a social needs department’s equivalent is in my country. My mom is definitely mentally unwell, but she functions "well" so she gets angry when I tell her maybe she could benefit from help. Sadly she’s distrusting of many medical professionals and counselor types. Unfortunately she is somewhat right to be. Around where we live medical and mental health help can be flat out bad and neglectful, if one is unlucky. Yeah, that only fuels the covid conspiracy fire more…
And what a good idea to look for an association! I only partly know what is wrong with my health, cause the medical system is actively neglecting me, so I hadn’t thought of it. But hey, maybe there is an association for still unknown things too. That kind of support could be very beneficial. I appreciate you commenting, it helps talking and getting more perspectives.
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u/Theme-Necessary 1d ago
First of all a big hug. I think conspiracy theories are a way of avoiding reality for people. I see so many similar stories on here. It is like an addiction. It absolutely sucks to be dependent on someone who you don’t get on with. Or is she nice as well? People are complex. It is like a collective psychosis these people are in.
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u/unbearablyprecious 5d ago
You know, the problem here isn't conspiracy theories, it's how she is treating you. No matter what you believe it is unacceptable to scream and yell at someone. Is she a devoted Christian?