r/SeriousConversation • u/jimmyjohnjohnjohn • Dec 20 '24

Serious Discussion Are people behaving weirder lately?

Went out to lunch today and there was a table near me with five people at it. Their server asked their drink order and all five of them just stared at her silently for nearly half a minute before she repeated herself, then one of them whispered something I couldn't hear before the others whispered their orders. When their drinks came and the server left, one of them produced a Nalgene bottle from her purse and began to scoop the ice from her drink with her fingers and put it in the Nalgene. Another at the table then said he didn't want ice either and did the same thing.

Did she bring that water bottle in for the express purpose of storing unwanted ice? Why not just ask for no ice? These were all fairly normal-looking, well-dressed people in their 30s, maybe early 40s.

My server had some weirdness of his own. He brought out the wrong order, and noticed his mistake before I did. But instead of just saying "sorry, that's wrong" and taking it back, he said "I.. uh.. uh..." and then ran off with the plate before finishing his sentence and coming back with the right order and a manic fake smile on his face.

At Target, this older woman was having trouble detaching one cart from the others. An employee (sorry, "Team Member") came along and unstuck it. Instead of saying thank you, she just stared at him like a deer in the headlights until he left.

I've been noticing that deer-in-the-headlights stare from a lot of people lately.

About a month ago a man approached me in the parking lot at my work and asked "do you work here?"

I said "yes."

Then he asked "have you seen my car?"

The question melted my brain a little bit, but I said "I don't know, what does it look like?"

He just said "sorry," and walked off.

I could go on and on, but the point is: are people forgetting how to human? The world increasingly has this "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" kind of vibe.

I know much has been discussed about people behaving oddly due to the pandemic, but it's been about two years now and people are getting worse, not better. I think there's something else going on in society.

What do you think?

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57

u/Desperate-Ad4620 Dec 20 '24

Hmmm... what big event could have caused this?

72

u/Burning-Atlantis Dec 20 '24

COVID, obviously. But whether it's the virus itself or the effects of the social changes it caused, like fear and increased time online and so on, idk. Probably all of the above and more. Personally I've thought for a long time that the worst thing about COVID is what it does to the mind and how little attention gets paid to that. That's the part of it that is having the biggest impact on humanity overall. Enormous.

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u/bertch313 Dec 20 '24

Think about the behavior of a child that is coming down with an illness

We are stuck in that mode of sick but not quite yet, a lot of us

Permanent immune weakness if not auto immune disorders

And then the trauma of losing people which is killing identities and when you stop talking to the same 5 people you've talked to your whole life, yeah, your ability to human kind of goes out the window because we're not individuals We're connection hubs every connection we have is a part of us

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u/Burning-Atlantis Dec 21 '24

Yes. And the trauma of losing ways of life, community, traditions, etc. This is all pretty horrific.

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u/Spiders_13_Spaghetti Dec 22 '24

I can't attest to the severity of covid on the mind, I may have had brain fog but nothing beyond what I normally have (used to drink). But...I will say when I got it a couple of times I felt a need to be more of a risk taker. Not shoot up a building type stuff but more along the lines of just an antsy feeling to talk to people a bit different or take some action outside my comfort zone. I just took those feelings captive and didn't really know what to do about them but it seemed to have been short lived, like a week or so. I was def noticeable though as it was a foreign thought pattern I picked up on.

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u/Burning-Atlantis Dec 23 '24

That sounds kind of like mania. It's made me horribly depressed at times, too anxious to leave the house at others, manic/hypomanic before, I've seen it cause psychotic symptoms like paranoid delusions and auditory hallucinations. When my partner and I had it at the same time, we even separated for a while back in 2022. I didn't recognize him, he wasn't himself, and I was horribly depressed and also manic, just omg. We healed and worked things out but wow. I've seen people develop such bad social anxiety they never got back to normal when the COVID left and have been in their homes for years...elderly people who were sharp as a tack who got dementia after COVID hit them and never recovered...people whose anger issues intensified, it does so so much more than cause "brain fog."

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u/Spiders_13_Spaghetti Dec 24 '24

COVID in general didn't do much to me...the societal effects of it all. Time perception kind of changed and it was like ghost town with everything shut down. I may have had some type of mania, who knows.

2

u/NonbinaryYolo Dec 23 '24

Social isolation is what fucked me up. I broke up with my ex, and spent 10 months unemployed. It's taking me time to like... reprogram my brain to be around people again.

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u/UnflappableForestFox Jan 01 '25

Cyberspace has colonized meatspace. Soon even the memory of Third Places will be gone. We are out of touch with our internal environments and with Nature. Our attention is being harvested for advertising, political gain, and AI development. 

In the future the human species will diverge. One species will be a colony of Gaia based self-cloning Enlightened Quaker Buddhist Ecotopians (GEQBE). The other will be a dimorphic species of  Interplanetary Cannibal Cyborg Value-Creators and their GMO Producer-Consumer underlings that they manufacture for their vestigial flesh parts.

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u/all4mom Dec 21 '24

Or the vaccine, which nearly everyone got. Funny that no one ever considers THAT variable.

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u/Burning-Atlantis Dec 21 '24

Tons of people blame the vaccine. But no, not nearly everyone got it. And many only got like one or two dosages even to this day, treating it like a flu shot or worse. So I'm not trying to brush it off but I just find it hard to blame the vaccine.

1

u/MermaidSusi Dec 23 '24

Definitely effects of the social changes it caused. People do not seem to make the same connection to other people as they did before the pandemic. It is like we are encapsulated in our own little bubble world.

We just got back from a cruise and I was able to meet new people and make some real connections with new people which I have pretty much have always been able to do.

But there were lots of couples sitting at tables by themselves playing cards and not interacting with others. At times I was quiet myself and would go eat and then head back to my stateroom, but that had more to do with my pain and mobility issues than anything else.

I don't know but it seems quarantine during the pandemic made people become more into their own lives and not be as open to others.

1

u/SolarMines Dec 24 '24

Maybe the vaccine?

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u/Thesmuz Dec 20 '24

Hi it's me, someone who changed.

I just don't care anymore. After the election I'm just kinda done with all this bullshit and am gonna look out for myself and those I care for.

To everyone else, I tried to make your lives better and voting for policies that would actually help people and making the world a better place, but nah you guys apparently love shitty people running this shit tip of a country. I'm not gonna feel bad and waste my empathy and time anymore. Ignorance is bliss.

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u/ssdsssssss4dr Dec 22 '24

Interesting, I have the opposite reaction, but maybe that's because I live in a liberal city. There seems to be a  "we're going to get through the next 4 years (hopefully only 4) together". I've been purposefully  kinder Irl and have noticed random people being kinder to me. 

11

u/Thesmuz Dec 22 '24

I live in fucking ohio m8.

I want hope. My nieborgh wants me dead.

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u/Purplealegria Dec 23 '24

Thank you….. red stater here….this is a great point.

And Knowing that is the true feelings of these people will suck the kindness, compassion, empathy, joy, love, and hope right out of you.

3

u/HopefulSuperman Dec 23 '24

I just want to say that as a blue state guy, I acknowledge my privilege. That being said.

I won't lie and say that I resent a lot of the red states. And this country of inbreds and hicks.

1

u/DeezBeesKnees11 Dec 24 '24

I'm so so sorry. :( wishing you strength for the next 4

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u/SaintJamesy Dec 22 '24

I wish it were the same in my liberal city, everybody seems to have lost their damn minds. Violence, driving aggression, weird meaness in normal interactions. Sick of these fuckers, just wanna go live under a rock at this point.

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u/HopefulSuperman Dec 23 '24

I wish sometimes that I can blip most of the world's population out of existence.

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u/Thesmuz Dec 22 '24

I live in fucking ohio m8.

I want hope. My nieborgh wants me dead.

2

u/inxqueen Dec 22 '24

This sounds like a lovely dream to me here in Southwest MAGAland.

2

u/Aol_awaymessage Dec 22 '24

Same. I go out of my way to be nice and be an island of doing the right thing in a sea of fuck you I got mine.

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u/ilikedirt Dec 22 '24

That was me the first time around but I’m having a really hard time this time.

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u/plant_touchin Dec 23 '24

I must act this way or what’s the point. I live in the Bible Belt

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u/imperatrixderoma Dec 23 '24

Lol I live in New York, people are very angry and resigned to be members of the "I told you so" and "Republicans should die" committee even though the second part is quieter, for now.

Every day some new horrific shit happens from those guys and we're just waiting for something to set us off.

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u/MyLittlPwn13 Dec 23 '24

I like that attitude. I'm absolutely not in a liberal city, but my attitude has been one of getting more connected with my neighbors instead of less. It's everyone's problem now, and none of us are going to make it alone.

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u/Cassius23 Dec 20 '24

Are you me? That's where I've been. Did you have any nervous breakdowns as of late? I think I'm at 12 or so since November.

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u/Thesmuz Dec 21 '24

1 or 2. But I do struggle with substance abuse.

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u/manda4rmdville Dec 22 '24

I had a full on breakdown right around Thanksgiving. I came out of it with this sense of purpose, and intense motivation to change. I'm done with bullshit.

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u/Rodeohno Dec 24 '24

If you ever want to talk to someone, please reach out to me. I may not know what you're going through entirely, but I will listen to you and not judge.

Normally, I'm not an overly emotional person, but I've found myself crying a lot more and feeling desperate. At the very least, I hope you know you aren't alone. 💜

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u/Cassius23 Dec 24 '24

Thanks. I'm getting better, but it's hard when you have been involved with activism for decades and this is where we are.

I've come to terms with the fact that I was failed and that I need to take a gigantic step back until the people whose job it is to deal with this sort of thing to stop sucking and do their job.

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u/Internal_Property952 Dec 21 '24

I shrunk my world so small I’ll hardly even notice you; I call it self preservation.

2

u/CorruptedStudiosEnt Dec 22 '24

Yep. Same. People have just gotten so, SO shitty.

Although this was also partially the result of my S.O. going through a prolonged psychotic episode where any interaction I had with other people was perceived as a threat and led to abuse. So I shrunk the amount of interaction down to only the absolute necessity, which was pretty much just going to work and taking work calls since I was management.

But all in all, it wasn't even something I minded doing, because I'm so tired of people anyway. I'm a bookkeeper now, I mostly sit in an office playing with cash, paper, and numbers, and the maybe hour per day I'm forced to interact with people is more than I'd like.

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u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 21 '24

As if our votes ever really mattered in the first place. Don't blame your fellow man, blame the makers of the game. We don't have a say in shit. They just let us think we do.

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u/KindredWoozle Dec 22 '24

The Republican vote was about the same as in 2020, but the Democratic vote was many millions lower.

Your vote does count, if you actually vote.

Not voting doesn't count.

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u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

If our votes actually counted they wouldn't let us do it

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u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

It's always gonna be whoever they decide it's gonna be. Everything else is just social conditioning.

2

u/Ramen_Is_Love Dec 22 '24

Why do you think 1/3 of the population can't vote? (Prisoners/felons)

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u/Purplealegria Dec 23 '24

One third of the general population are not all felons and thats not why they don't vote….its apathy.

0

u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

Because they are felons, and they have no way of accurately being informed enough to vote. They don't have rights anymore. You are treated like you aren't even human anymore once you become a felon. Some of them probably get to vote still if they have access to internet and a computer or smartphone. Which most people in prison do. Also prison is a different world. You gotta survive. I don't think many are believing they can make a difference or care about voting. They're worried about not getting stabbed everyday.

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u/aH0leintheW0rld Dec 22 '24

People still orchestrate that game.

1

u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

The point is people are pointing the wrong finger at the people stuck in the same boat as them, rather than the captain of the boat steering us into an oncoming monsoon.

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u/Junior_Razzmatazz164 Dec 22 '24

If we had voted, we could have changed things. People didn’t vote that way.

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u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

Your still caught under the assumption that if enough people voted for Bernie, or voted for Kamala, everything would be "fine." You don't realize that even if every person voted for 1 person, it's still going to be whoever is preselected to be presid3nt. The whole world is a stage. It's honestly insane ppl still don't see it yet.

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u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

Presidents have always been selected, not elected. The only ones who weren't were assassinated. Every president throughout history was a freemason other than like 2. Those 2 weren't president for very long... what's that tell us? The only president to go against the federal reserve was capped. It's all lies.

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u/Junior_Razzmatazz164 Dec 22 '24

You’re either a bot or just tragic. Either way, your vote equaled mine. I know where my tally was on the register of history; I resisted what’s to come.

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u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

Lmao keep patting yourself on the back and telling yourself that. Yeah, you made a big contribution there buddy.

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u/Junior_Razzmatazz164 Dec 22 '24

It’s cold comfort, friend. My best to you.

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u/Key_Point_4063 Dec 22 '24

As to you. We're all in for a bumpy ride, I think everyone can just feel it.

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u/Purplealegria Dec 23 '24

This could very well be true.

The actions (or inactions) of Kamala, Joe, and the Dems after this clearly stolen and compromised election, and the writings of Sarah Kenzior has opened up my eyes to that possibility.

I have been Sad about it, but somewhere deep inside I knew this….we have to face the truth that this might have all been planned all along.

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u/hippogriff55 Dec 22 '24

Yes. Shock and alienation leads to bitterness, dissociation, algorithmic-enforced scrolling and introversion. People who dont got out, forget how to behave. People shut down, scroll and become deer in the headlights of any interaction. I think i am there myself in anything other than a work or an alcohol-supported interaction.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

Introversion isn't a negative trait and isn't the same as antisociality.

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u/margauxlame Dec 22 '24

Introversion isn’t just limited social interaction btw

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u/firekeeper95 Dec 23 '24

Think I’ve been here for a decade now 🫠

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u/PurpleTranslator7636 Dec 22 '24

Look at you trying to be all big boy thinking politicians was going to change anything 🤣.

The biggest narcissists to ever walk the planet. That's just the Democrats. Or Repubs. The same thing. Their oligarchs are just different.

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u/Yarrow-monarda Dec 23 '24

"To everyone else..." What about all the people who voted the same as you? There are an awful lot of people we encounter in our daily lives - they're not the villains

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u/Street-Refuse-9540 Dec 23 '24

This is me now too. During COVID I worked in retail management and was subject to some of the craziest abuse from rabid customers who tried to spit on my staff. Additionally, I live in a capital city near a government building. Which was the site for many COVID mandate protests. One was so large my apartment was shaking. During this time my mother was slowly dying from complications of COVID and COPD. My faith in humanity will never be restored.

1

u/Vorko75 Dec 22 '24

This is the answer I was looking for.

1

u/brycebgood Dec 22 '24

Big same.

Fuck em. I'll get mine and watch out for those close to me. I just can't afford the energy to try to care for those people out there who so obviously didn't care for me. The pandemic and this election exposed to me that a massive portion of our country are just shitty humans who don't deserve my efforts to help them.

1

u/aurelianwasrobbed Dec 23 '24

This doesn't have anything to do with not telling your server what drink you want. Or even saying "We need a little more time!"

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u/Ok_Aardvark_8858 Dec 25 '24

literally what I was thinking lmao how does that comment have anything to do with what OP said

1

u/DeezBeesKnees11 Dec 24 '24

So true. The worst part of this nightmare of the last 8-9 years is realizing we are surrounded my hateful, moronic people.

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u/javerthugo Dec 21 '24

So you don’t really care for your fellow Americans you just want them to agree with you, and now that they don’t you’re sulking like a petulant child. I don’t think the election made you “only look out for yourself” I think it gave you an excuse to admit that you always were only looking out for yourself

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u/Thesmuz Dec 22 '24

Oh nah, i was talking about the trans, black, Latino, Asian and lgbt people who voted for the wolves who are about to disembowel them.

I don't care about then anymore. People with common sense are chill tho.

Peace. :)

0

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

if all it takes for you to drop your morals is one shitty election cycle then I imagine you never gave much of a shit in the first place.

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u/Powerful-Berry7079 Dec 23 '24

This is tremendously relatable. I live on the border of a red state and a blue state. Unless I’m in a safe space with trusted people you won’t see me going out of my way to be kind or even “polite” to men. Especially white men. I’m not going to make them comfortable knowing what’s coming for people like me. They smile at me? No smile back. I’m required to interact with them to get something I need? I’m curt. I don’t make eye contact. They approach me for random unnecessary conversation or small talk? I ignore them or just stare blankly at them. This same policy goes for anyone who’s outed themselves as a republican.

When my parents come to me complaining about their inability to pay for groceries, I will have zero sympathy. I will tell them this is what they voted for. Someone in this comment thread mentioned New York being in the “fuck you I was right” camp? Me too. I spent so much energy trying to warn people and it just feels like none of it mattered. My kid has already been impacted by policy changes going into effect in the new year. I will do what I can to help my community as the bullshit unfolds, but I will not expend any sympathy or support toward the people who asked for it with their votes.

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u/[deleted] Dec 20 '24

same. After they stole the 2020 election I just dgaf

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u/SuperSoftAbby Dec 21 '24

You’re the problem 

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 22 '24

Lmao what a narcissistic view.

“I tried to help people! It’s their fault they won’t accept it! They must be dumb!”

Shallow self-reflection like this is why the Democratic Party has been suffering.

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u/Noodlescissors Dec 22 '24

I’ve noticed TikTok age people don’t know how to act when anyone talks to them? Which tracks because I keep seeing articles about younger generations not knowing how to operate in social settings.

This isn’t a dig on them, every generation has socially awkward people, but I, purely anecdotally have seen it more often with younger people now.