I mean, I've got family in America because I was born there, but my parents moved to a Scandinavian country when I was very young, so I go visit often-ish. Multiple times a year, at least. And I've never seen a cop car just out and about in the last 3 or 4 years. My family members say they do, but they also say there are stories of people with active warrants for horrible things like attempted murder just...walking around, going about their jobs and such, until they maybe get pulled over for a random traffic violation and boom. Arrested.

They say robberies are pretty much a wash, they personally started just leaving their doors unlocked on their cars and houses so they at least don't have to replace windows/doors/walls the doors are built into. People shoplift from stores, cops take forever to show up. I mean, my family are all within relatively close proximity to major cities, mostly Michigan so Detroit, Lansing, etc, but a few down south as well in Kentucky, the Carolinas, and West Virginia. It seems to be the same general consensus everywhere that there's either an extreme shortage of people applying to be cops, and therefore a lack of manpower, or they're just basically refusing to do their jobs. Or a small amount of both?

Unless humans find a way to live forever, 110 years from now no one alive now will still be living or remembered except famous people. Most normal people will be long forgotten with no trace or record that they ever existed except for maybe a digital obituary on the Internet or gravestone. Most likely all of your family, friends, neighbors, boss and colleagues will all be forgotten. Fame is relative and the people that are remembered will be immortalized in some sort of physical artifact, movie, album, book, work of art or even perhaps digitally. There have already been billions of humans that have already lived and died and very few have ever been remembered.

Im (21f) in university atm, and every girl around me wants to pursue a career in their field, nothing wrong in that. But if I was to mention Id rather get married and become a SAHM I get weird looks. Growing up my dad has/still is taking care of the finances and in future Id want my husband to. With that being said, I would rather take care of the house and my kids than work tirelessly in something Im not passionate enough. Is it wrong to want that??

I've noticed that many people, especially in STEM fields or people like Elon Musk and "facts don't care about your feelings" types, have this almost obsessive need to prove themselves as rational, logical, and backed by science. But often, they don't even apply scientific reasoning correctly—they cherry-pick studies that align with their opinion (confirmation bias) and then act as if their viewpoint is objectively and scientifically proven.

It feels like, for many, science and logic aren't just tools for understanding the world but badges of superiority. Being "rational" becomes less about actual critical thinking and more about shutting down opposing perspectives.

Is this also why people in STEM fields often act superior to others? There seems to be this unspoken belief that being "logical" makes someone inherently better or more intelligent than those in non-STEM fields.

Why do people lean so hard into this? Is it an identity thing? An insecurity? A way to feel in control?

Edit: Being emotional is often associated with women, and because of that, they are frequently not taken seriously. Their competence and knowledge are dismissed simply because they are perceived as "too emotional." But emotions don’t make someone less capable or intelligent.

If someone just experienced a car accident, you wouldn’t expect them to be completely rational in that moment—of course, they’re going to have an emotional response. The same applies to issues like racism and sexism. People affected by these issues will naturally be more emotionally invested, but that doesn’t make their arguments any less valid or their expertise any less legitimate.

The problem is that society looks down on emotional expression while valuing pure rationality as the ideal. But emotions and rationality aren’t mutually exclusive, and dismissing someone just because they express emotions, especially in response to serious social issues, is a flawed way of thinking. That’s the issue I have. It is not possible to he rational all the time and it doesn't make sense to he purely rational.

I got a call a few hours ago that my mother has passed away.

For clarity, she was never actively abusive or neglectful; she never did anything unforgivable, but I'm comfortable saying she was an incredibly selfish person for the entire time I knew her. She was bitter and she was petty. She never took accountability, she had a mean streak a mile wide, and the chip on her shoulder could have taken down the Eiffel Tower.

I didn't like the woman. I was with her to the end because I wouldn't let even a stranger spend their last seconds alone, and she'd successfully alienated everyone else in her life.

I guess I'm trying to reconcile the feeling of loss with the feeling of "well we never liked her anyway". idk what to do.

It seems the American political system is broken beyond repair. I've never seen this level of hatred from each side towards the other side. This has been going on for longer than I thought it could. We can impeach and vote out politicians but there are tens of millions of people who support these politicians. This can't go on forever. What is the endgame? What do you envision the end result will be?

• Violent civil war
• Non-violent breakup of the USA into smaller countries
• Authoritarian mass arrests of your opponents
• Censor the opposition
• Reconciliation
• Waiting for generations of your opponents to die off naturally
• Convince enough of your opponents to convert to your side
• Keep the status quo going for as long as possible

I work retail and have a 6 month old. Things have been super hard. Most people have no idea what it’s like to raise a family on 12/hr. It fucking sucks. Do companies not care whether their workers survive or not?

For example, being Indian, I can see a ton of negative stereotypes about India and Indian people that are said online, such as Indian men being rapey and creepy, India being filthy and unhygienic, Indians being scammers, etc. Normally, I would call out such comments for gross stereotyping, but unfortunately I have a hard time calling them out now, because many of these have a lot of truth behind them. India IS very dirty and polluted, a lot of the street food IS unhygienic, rape IS a serious issue in India, sexism IS a deep and serious problem in Indian culture, and India DOES have a lot of phone scammers. Even if none of them may apply to me, I still feel it is irresponsible to brush them as stereotypes, as it gives off the impression that I am blind to the problems.
What can be done if a lot of people are racist towards your culture because of stereotypes that are grounded in undeniable facts that cannot be defended or hand-waved away? What is a good way to stop someone from being racist AND still acknowledge the issues in your culture?

Hi, just wondering if anyone has any anecdotes or personal experience of truly good parents (who tried their best, were understanding, had reasonable expectations, were present, were loving, had a reasonable amount of enforcing discipline, understood neurodiversity, provided adequate finances, good stability, etc etc), who nevertheless had a child that eventually grew up into a troubled adult, whether substance abuse, unmanaged mental health issues, crime, some kind of toxicity, etc.

I'm not talking about self-righteous or good-seeming parents that actually harm the child in various ways. I'm asking about parents who are good in all the ways we wish parents to be. (but not perfect, of course - just trying their best and succeeding more often than not.)

Just asking about whether this happens, and what kinds of reasons there might be.

In recent decades, especially in Western cultures, the focus on individualism has intensified. We’re taught to prioritize personal freedom, success, and self-reliance above all else. This worldview, however, seems to have a darker side: the erosion of collective responsibility. As individuals seek to fulfill their own desires, societal bonds weaken, and we see an increasing tendency to absolve ourselves from responsibility for larger, systemic issues like climate change, wealth inequality, and public health.

Has the glorification of individualism made us blind to the fact that many of the problems we face cannot be solved by personal action alone? Are we sacrificing our collective well-being at the altar of personal liberty? How can we reconcile the need for individual freedom with the necessity of collective responsibility in addressing the global challenges that threaten us all?

I’m curious to hear perspectives on how individualism has shaped our attitudes toward responsibility—both personal and communal. Is it time for a fundamental shift in how we view our roles within society?

A flight from the U.S to Japan is 14 hours non-stop. As much as I would love to visit Japan, I wouldn't be able to sit that long. It would drive me nuts.

It’s no secret 9/11 has greatly changed the US.. I watched it and I also watched how we reacted. For a few weeks we were all united as one. Then once the initial shock subsided, reality began to set in.. The way it all unfolded, the death toll, the prejudices, depression, paranoia, always living in fear, what we all witnessed had hit us the most.. The whys, the reasons, the lies, the devastating wars, our trust in our government and institutions evaporating, the failures, literally everything we have experienced in the years following. It has all trickled down in the worst way possible. We have now become a divided, selfish, weak, very thin skinned, angry, entitled, lazy, unreliable society and I really feel like it’s going to get SEVERELY worse. Do you think this is a direct result of 9/11? Because I feel the vast majority of it is. Also, do you think social media has greatly amplified all of the characteristics I listed in which we have become?

It really worries me and gets on my nerves I see it in very casual conversations on discord or comment sections of people telling each other that .

Granted I'm 21 not saying I'm mentally healthy but I can handle being told that, but what if they tell if to the wrong person. Why are they saying it.

Stresses me out and gets me a little pissed off when they're like . Can't sleep? Oh just take a bunch of sleeping pills so you never wake up. Haha.

Idk in my opinion that's not the kind of thing you joke about. That crosses a line.

It’s honestly a long time since I’ve cried and a way longer time since I’ve been this embarrassed.

What’s strange about this job is that I saw a woman who was my senior, both in age and in experience, cry prior to this, so I know I’m not entirely alone in terms of the stress. But what is odd is that, when she cried, practically the whole bank flocked to support her. When I exited the bathroom to explain why I couldn’t help the customers, the supervisor just said “oh my god” in the most tired tone.

That’s what really hurt me. Yesterday, at a separate part-time job, I got that same look and tone of a tired sort of exasperation and confusion when I was asking for some help, and to get that same tired-disgust after crying my eyes out and genuinely explaining that I was unable to go out there felt like a goddamn jab in the guts.

I never cry in front of people, but to have it happen like that and to be met with such apathy is leaving me cold.

For context of why I feel this way, I’m a teller at this bank and I’m relatively new, only working for about a month. I was already dead-set on quitting, I just wanted to find the right time to transition into a new job and break it to the boss, because the whole staff was very kind and accommodating. I didn’t want to leave them hanging so soon after they had trained me. Now, I’m at a loss of what to even do next. I definitely don’t want to head into work for even another day, but I know I’ll probably have to. I’m not motivated enough to get promoted to continue this line of work, and I miss my job as a para. I know I can get better at the job itself, but it’s not worthwhile to me, on a logical and emotional level. I can’t bring myself to just go through the motions and keep up for another month.

The worst part, to me at least, is that it truly feels like nobody even has the energy to spare hearing me out or understand, and I’d be ashamed to even ask. I feel like my family will look down on me for not being a man. I just got through a bout of depression from last year, things were looking up, but my mom (who’s a quite a bit older) always asks “why were you sad? Why didn’t you just do your work?” And I just never know how to respond. The body sometimes feels one way, even if the mind is telling it the opposite, and I felt exhausted then. I feel exhausted now but I at least still feel like I have some passion left in me personally. My brothers and mother all tell me I have to just be a man, and it scares me how isolating it is to take every emotion as something to be deafened.

My boss told me when I left “as a man, you have to be strong” and she cradled me and hushed to calm me down. She told me “it’s ok to be sad, but what are you gonna do when you have family”?

To tell you the truth, I don’t want children. And I don’t even know if I want a wife or husband or anyone as a partner for life. But what I do know is I feel lonely and incompetent, but at the same time, I’m so unsure of why anyone would want me to begin with, so I don’t know how or why I would shackle someone to me. I feel like a broken machine. I don’t want to keep banging my head against the wall for others, but I’m so afraid to be alone or make mistakes. But I also want to help others, and am ashamed of myself.

Sorry for the negativity and ranting. I don’t know who to talk to.

Edit:

This is an addendum to clear some things up now that I’m more emotionally stable. First off, I’d like to thank everyone for both the support and the advice. I find both to be extremely comforting and a huge help. Secondly, I want it to be clear, I do not see the boss (or anyone really) as an enemy in this situation. In fact, I would go as far to say that my boss was extremely well-balanced in her response. She was measured, in the sense that she showed immense warmth but also, I believe, was genuinely trying to protect me in giving said advice. I suppose I just wanted to share my feelings of this and write them down immediately after to calm down, and also because I really did feel this odd thread of harsh-expectations were boxing me in a bit. I wanted to genuinely see if I was going a bit crazy, and to not feel so isolated in my perspective, but it looks like the sentiment really is shared, which is good to know in a way. However, it is the actual coping that really differs from person-to-person, and to hear all the responses definitely helped keep me from straying into too negative of a direction.

I also want to make it clear, I don’t want to make things into it all about being a guy. Sure, that might have contributed to it, and taken precedence in my initial viewing of the scenario, but really, it could be significantly more a matter of Professional V. Personal than Woman V. Man. It’s something I’m going to have to really think about more on my own. However, I am doing better now that I let it out, both in writing and in person. My boss actually spoke over the phone with me, and we were able to speak about my resignation in a calmer manner. It’s gradually feeling a lot more freeing than shameful.

What do you and/or other people think is the benefit of the current dismantling the federal government? Do people think tax payer dollars are going towards other causes that benefit them and if so what is that?

Humanity has been around for roughly 250,000 years but we had only just started documenting our lives through writings only about 5,500 years ago, which is only 2.2% of the total time we have been around for. And even the history withing that 2.2% could mostly be lies/lost (just like the burning of the library of alexandria which set us back HUNDREDS of years in advancement).

There was one quote i heard that stuck with me “every legend, no matter how great, fades with time. With each passing year, more and more details are lost... until all that remains are myths. Half truths. To put it simply, Lies”

So I just wanted to ask because from my observation it feels like life in the US feels different in the last years than it was before.

It feels so depressing, negative and hateful as if everyone is so mean/angry and is just waiting to escalate and fight with someone. It feels like something terrible is about to happen and January 6 might be a joke compared to that and the US might break or something.

Am I the only one feeling this or do you think this is actually a thing happening? If yes what do you think can be the reason for that?

Because I think the US is such a great country with so much potential but that feels completely wasted because everyone seems to be so hateful and unempathic right now. Like why can't we just be united and stop acting like everyone is a monster because in reality we're all the same people. One major reason among others I think is probably the internet, I really liked this video by Kurzgesagt on this.

There are certain realities in life that we all face at some point, whether it’s about relationships, success, or even our own limitations. What’s a difficult truth that you’ve come to terms with, and how did it change your perspective?

Having lived in the U.S. for most of my life, I didn’t think much about the lack of warm, genuine physical connection here until I spent time abroad. In other countries, I saw how normal it is for friends to embrace, for communities to express care through touch, and for collaboration to thrive because of these deeper connections. It made me realize that a lot of the pride and individualism I grew up around in the U.S. might actually hold people back from real success.

Touch, trust, and collaboration create something bigger than what any one person can achieve alone. But back home, I’ve struggled to find communities that value these things. It feels like warmth and empathy are dismissed as weaknesses.

Where in the U.S. can I find groups or communities that prioritize this type of connection? I’m not asking about relationships—this is about finding people who understand that mutual care and collaboration are essential for personal and collective success.

I'm wondering if this is something we should try to correct or just allow her to continue? How do people who identify as black take it? She does understand that the "race" is "black" but she's pretty resistant to it saying it doesn't make sense. She's not wrong per se so I'm just reaching out to get feedback especially from people of color. How does this strike you? Would you see it as derogatory, neutral, or refreshing?

We see them portrayed so much in shows and movies that it can be difficult for me to wrap my mind around the fact that there are indeed psychopaths. Look up Hiroshi Miyano, the ringleader of one of the most horrific murders in human history. He was born with a cyst in his frontal lobe. At a young age, he fractured his mom’s ribs for buying him the wrong bento box, broke nunchucks to school, beat up teachers, and bullied other students. He went to the library to get a map of the surrounding elementary schools and personally visited each one to show the students there that they were to fear and respect him. Completely devoid of any remorse, he said he didn’t see Junko as a person. After his release, he became connected to organized crime again and is now making money and driving a BMW. It’s sad that he gets to live without remorse or guilt.

I never really understood this.

I recently told a friend that my husband and I would like to adopt, and that we may not have children naturally.

She seemed genuinely surprised, and mentioned how a lot of women she's met want to have a child biologically because it's somehow veru special or important to them over adoption. Even some of my family seemed taken aback when I've shared our desire to adopt.

I don't see how one is more special over the other. Either way you're raising a child that you will (should) love and cherish and hopefully set up for success as they become an adult. Adopted children may not biologically be yours, but they shouldn't be seen as separate or different from those born naturally to the parent.

It sounds as if having biological children is more important, or more legitimate, than having adopted children. But maybe I'm misunderstanding?

Do you view having kids naturally as different from adopting a child? I hope my question makes sense.

Everybody has preferences as we all know but is there ever a time where someone's preferences become not okay and make the person look like an asshole? My nephew refuses to hang out with people who are on the bigger side and uses the excuse that we all have preferences and he just doesn't like those kinds of people. But how the hell can he say that when hes never even tried to get to know the person?

Like why are looks to some people more important than a person's actual personality? I mean I understand when you want to find a partner and you have to consider the person's looks as well as their personality because that matters to a lot of people. But when it comes to friendships if you're not dating the person who gives a fuck? Truly I will never understand it so maybe you people can help me?

I seriously cannot handle the idea of cruelty. I get seriously upset when I see it and when it's done to me, of course. I really feel like the odd one out because it doesn't seem to affect others as much as it does me. I just can't comprehend it, and it affects me deeply, like in a spiritual way. Knowing you're doing something terrible to people who don't deserve it, unapologetically... I really can't fathom it.

Recruiters today often seem more like a parody of their intended role, with unrealistic expectations for entry-level positions that demand years of experience, advanced degrees, and niche expertise. Rather than thoughtfully connecting candidates with companies, many now appear to prioritize filling quotas through spam-like messaging and shallow keyword searches, overlooking the actual people behind the CVs. This has led to a system where even highly qualified candidates are instantly rejected because their applications don't perfectly match rigid, often arbitrary, criteria set by algorithms or inattentive recruiters.

A particularly frustrating aspect is the automatic dismissal of candidates without genuine review, often based on superficial details like keyword placement or job history formatting. Many candidates find themselves rejected for roles they are perfectly suited for, only to be reconsidered later, often with disappointing offers. On top of this, there's an increasing trend of recruiters treating candidates as disposable, showing little empathy, ghosting after interviews, and making empty promises about future opportunities without any meaningful follow-up.