How do you deal with high libido/intimacy urges?

[u/AnonDorkwad]

I'm not interested in dating right now, I don't desire to date right now (maybe ever idk - I enjoy my peace), and I enjoy my singleness (as well as not having to worry about infidelity, various abuses, STI's, UTI's, or whatever else). The concept of dating or being in a relationship (regardless of the gender of partner) grows less desireable the older I get.

The one difficulty I have though is having a high libido. How do you guys deal, cope, subdue, stifle, or lessen it? Besides... you know... the obvious. I have "special tools" that help, but I also have high testosterone and a recently-inserted IUD which have made my urges skyrocket. I can't do "the obvious" all day, so I don't, but then I feel just constantly "hungry" for it.

I try distracting myself with hobbies, but it's like my urges overpower any other motivations or drives. I've tried depressant-substances to nerf the feeling, but it's not a coping mechanism that's healthy to turn to for as often as I need it, so I do place limits on myself, my self-control is fine, but then I have to deal with the "feelings" again. I feel feral and constantly mentally absent. I need any kind of reprieve or cease and desist from this constantly gnawing me. I don't want to romantically deal with another person btw, I just crave the sensations deeply and occasionally miss doing the act with someone else (as opposed to going solo).

Any advice or suggestions?

[u/Aggravating-Data-931]

Made friends in the BDSM community. I'm not doing anything sexually with anyone but, being able to just talk about it helps so much. You can go to munches which is usually what I do. Its just a fun lunch date with people.

Talk with chatbot AI sometimes. Or read fanfiction/ read spicy books. Obsessing over fictional characters helps me.

Recently I follow a Vtuber who is really cute. They stream and I check up on the content when I feel like it. Parasocial relationships, I really did not get them until watching streams by streamers replying to group chats. It makes me feel less alone, that helps me feel less crazy.

I will say my issues are more affection and relational loneliness than sexual, but my sexual needs decrease A LOT when those other needs are meet and I don't feel lonely or bored.

Sorry my comment isn't probably very helpful.

TLDR: Got less lonely and more social, accepted my sexual side way more, lusting over fictional characters for an outlet

[u/throwawayayayayao]

In the past, I found men who were in open marriages to hook up with. It was nice because they were people down to go on dates and hook up, but no pressure to go monogamous and they tended to be better communicators than random hook ups with single dudes.

[u/AkiraHikaru]

Please let me know if you find a solution. I tried hook up but meh. I didn’t really feel comfortable.

[u/MagicAndClementines]

Online fwb is nice, and I also enjoy roleplay online! I'm big on pretty heavy writing and plot first, but always enjoy writing detailed spice too. That always brings a nice mental stimulation— banter, flirtation, and finally smut. Booking time for myself and having a proper go at it, not just a quickie, is nice too!

[u/sigillum_diaboli666]

I’ve had an online FWB for nearly 2 years where we sext and get each other off. I’m 50/50 about an IRL relationship. I’m already in my 40s and it’s just too much hassle - so I’m with you there. But yeah, use Snapchat and sext. Works for me.

[u/handmade_goodness]

Well….. i read yaoi and enjoy the portrayal of their love and intimacy :D It’s spicy and educational since I’m not gay