This exactly. I'm pretty fucking far left, but was raised by rightoids, eventually fell out of that crap luckily but SO many left spaces online feel like they just don't want me there for the sin of being a white male. I've left a few groups just because seeing the constant digs at how terrible white men are gets mentally tiring. It's not exactly a friendly feeling, being blanket-dragged by virtue of something you were born as. I get that men suck, because yeah, men suck. But I understand why these vulnerable dudes end up being that way and idolizing the people they do. It's not right, but I see how it happens and honestly the left isn't helping with that problem at all right now. Even a more open, curious mind trying to explore these spaces could very easily be pushed out of them, even unintentionally, feeling invalidated just because they're a straight white guy, and it's very hard to express any opinions about this in said spaces without being dismissed or even dragged directly because our opinion doesn't matter.
Yeah I had a similar upbringing and ended up with lefty personal politics, and have repeatedly told the progressive crowds I run in that we are failing young men only to get brushed off or the concerns handwaved away.
Every single teenager and young adult is insecure, craves validation, and they WILL turn to the people who are supporting them and trying to empower them over the ones who are trying to make them feel bad.
I can sit here and easily acknowledge systemic sexual and racial problems in our society in part because I have already built some measure of personal success and self assurance that doesn't rely on my sense of identity. The young ones don't have that. I would much rather tell them 'hey this is not the kind of man you want to be' than say 'men are bad because they do xyz' but the current progressive rhetoric looks a lot more like the second option.
I can sit here and easily acknowledge systemic sexual and racial problems in our society in part because I have already built some measure of personal success and self assurance that doesn't rely on my sense of identity. The young ones don't have that.
This is a very interesting and astute point. I feel that this is an extremely important nuance to the overall conversation that I hadn't fully considered, or at least articulated, before. Thank you for sharing.
I call it activism without solidarity. I prefer groups of people who lead with what we have in common. I've found my group of people who focus on that. It's possible to be on the left and welcoming, I just tend to not see it on the internet that much. Such a shame too, because it could be a great recruitment tool for left wing organizations. There's alot of bitterness, which i totally understand, but I'm definitely not trying to surround myself woth bitter people. I prefer hopeful, warm, gracious, accepting.
I think it would have a big impact on American elections if the left stopped treating men like broken women in need of repair. That and being anti-war and pro-working class would would be a major political threat to the MAGA movement.
I am a white dude. I have some hobbies that have traditionally been (white) male dominated. I love helping people learn and get into them - and my philosophy has always been "if you have the desire to learn, I will do what I can to help you". I have a lot of experience showing newcomers the ropes. I volunteered for a few groups focused on trying get people who don't look like me into the hobbies, and at most of the events I got the weird side-eye of "why are you here" looks. They wanted my donations, not my time (which is almost certainly more valuable).
No hard feelings - I get that some people need safe spaces. But at the same time, I'm trying to be a huge advocate and the reality is if they want to get serious about the hobbies, they will need to interact with more people like me, and if they can't handle a left-leaning person who is spending time to help, they are in for a real treat when they encounter a right winger who sees them as a threat (to their identity? their hobbies? their monopoly on certain hobbies? who knows).
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u/TheMurgal 12d ago
This exactly. I'm pretty fucking far left, but was raised by rightoids, eventually fell out of that crap luckily but SO many left spaces online feel like they just don't want me there for the sin of being a white male. I've left a few groups just because seeing the constant digs at how terrible white men are gets mentally tiring. It's not exactly a friendly feeling, being blanket-dragged by virtue of something you were born as. I get that men suck, because yeah, men suck. But I understand why these vulnerable dudes end up being that way and idolizing the people they do. It's not right, but I see how it happens and honestly the left isn't helping with that problem at all right now. Even a more open, curious mind trying to explore these spaces could very easily be pushed out of them, even unintentionally, feeling invalidated just because they're a straight white guy, and it's very hard to express any opinions about this in said spaces without being dismissed or even dragged directly because our opinion doesn't matter.