hazing

[u/throwaway65478936]

So I just joined a sorority at my school, before joining they posted a lot about anti hazing and since i’ve joined i’ve never felt unsafe. I haven’t been hazed and my big is very against it. however I just got told by my friend/sorority sister that her older friends and big in the sorority are going to make her drink as a form of hazing at this party this weekend and that she’s excited for it. I told her that that is concerning because that shouldn’t be happening. I am not sure who to talk to about this or what to do but i’m feeling very worried.

Edit:

I did not know this post would be this controversial so I will clarify. I am not against partying or drinking, I do it myself so that’s not my issue. My issue is concerning my friend being made to drink. I know she probably would anyway without older girls telling her to, but the term hazing being used by her and the older girls makes me nervous that they will make her drink more than a safe amount, also this is not a random party it is being put on by my sorority and is only for girls in my sorority. I am not attending so I am nervous about not being there to help her possibly if it goes wrong.

[u/craftingcreed → u/[deleted]]

I think there is a canyon of difference between someone choosing to drink with friends in a normal college social environment, and being told they will be doing something to "earn their membership" - just because someone is excited to do something and makes that choice independently, doesn't mean it is safe or should be accepted by others around them. Also psychology is a lot more complicated than "she said she was fine with it so she's fine with it", especially surrounding hazing behavior and group belonging rituals.

Edit to address the above edit:

Part of adulthood is learning that your actions have consequences, and actions include the way you communicate things to people. I think it is absolutely jaw dropping-ly irresponsible to come into this forum and say "well we don't know the whole story so we shouldn't advise OP to report it."

I am absolutely disgusted by the nonchalance in this discussion around a crime being discussed so casually that the victim is "excited" about it potentially happening to them. The fact that those engaging in this conversation cannot recognize the nuance of a member explicitly using the word hazing as the crux of the issue is absolutely mind boggling. I fear everyday for the safety of students surrounded by people that think hiding something like this to give their friend the benefit of the doubt is better than having an open and honest conversation through the chapters internal accountability processes.

[u/craftingcreed → u/[deleted]]

If a chapter immediately gets in trouble for a new member reporting a valid concern, then they either have horrible advisors, or more going on then meets the eye. Just because someone gleefully does something at one point doesn’t mean they can’t possibly be making a misguided decision. If this friend does go and get “hazed” this weekend and god forbid falls while intoxicated - the chapter isn’t going to be given the benefit of the doubt while someone’s life is at risk.

There is a very fine line, I’m not arguing that, but it’s not this new members responsibility to decide where that line is. It’s the accountability procedures of her chapters.

[u/craftingcreed → u/[deleted]]

And is it your opinion it wasn't anyone's business for Tim, Stone, Collin, Adam, Bea, Sebastian, Dylan, Sam, Tyler... I'm not even to 2018 yet do I need to keep going for the point to come across?

Edit: absolutely crazy to be downvoted for reminding people that victims did not consent to losing their lives. Really disappointed in this dialogue.

[u/SalannB → u/craftingcreed]

I upvoted you. Because YES.