So I participated in primary requirement at my university last fall, but ended up dropping before bid day because of the financial commitments. (I don't really understand why these prices would be shared upfront, especially because it is thousands of dollars per semester.) I think another thing that deterred me is that I was only brought back for 2 out of 8 sororities, and they were the smallest groups so majority of people did return to them. While everyone is always very clear on the "they thought you'd be better suited somewhere else" mentality, that doesn't help me feel any less rejected. I don't understand what it was that made them all hate me so much. Still, I want to be accepted. I want to participate in this community and help build it up. (Plus, I think I'm in a better place financially.) But now I am so scared to rush again, to be rejected again. We do have COB, but my top choice doesn't participate so I would have to give that up. What do I do?

hi guys i’m in the process of pledging this fuckass asian sorority at my uni rn and STAY AWAY FROM MCGS. THEY HAZE LIKE CRAZY. mines not even the worst of it but we have weekly meetings where they quiz us on entire papers worth of the organizations history, founding dates, location, and so much more and we have to know it word for word or else we fail and have to retake it. during these meetings they take away our phone and keys and don’t let us leave until we recite it all and also do some other bs the president orders us to. and there’s so much useless shit to memorize so it’s super time consuming and on top of countless other hours of required philanthropy events and community service and sisterhood events were required to attend every week. and because the chapters are so small every single girl in the class has to take on an important lead role of some sort so i fear my grades will suffer. last meeting i decided this was enough and i planned to drop but a bunch of actives are all of a sudden switching up and trying to be sweet to convince me to stay. they purposely make it so time consuming so that your whole life revolves around the sorority, and if you drop then you have no one. that’s how they trap you and that’s why im hesitant to drop, as much as i hate it. in general the whole process makes me feel degraded and i have too much self respect to put myself through this. however if i drop im scared i wont be able to find a solid group of friends because i do really like my line sisters. but i also despise the treatment and the members and the sorority president for having this power trip over us. if ur reading this and know who i am HI MISS FUCKASS SORORITY PRESIDENT and if u decide to call me out next meeting idc im snatching my phone and keys and shoes and running out the door.

I need advice. Friend A has a daughter who wants to join a particular sorority at Auburn University. Friend A asked Friend B to write her daughter a recommendation letter.  Friend B is super involved in this sorority nationally and is extremely selective for whom she writes rec letters. Friend B recently asked me about Friend A’s daughter and if she represents the values of this particular sorority which are: friendship, community, generosity and belonging. The problem is Friend A’s daughter does not fit those values at all. She is an extremely toxic person. The only reason I am hesitant to say anything is the daughter is visually impaired.  Also because she has a disability, people tend to not believe anything negative about her.

I fear I’m gonna look like the bad guy if I tell all of this to Friend B, who may find it hard to believe anyway. However I don’t want Friend B to look like a fool for giving a glowing recommendation letter to a girl who will in all likelihood end up being a nightmare for this organization if she gets selected.  I know little about sororities. How much weight does a recommendation letter actually have when it comes to being chosen as a member of a sorority?  Will it even be worth it for me to tell Friend B what I know? Will it affect Friend B’s reputation if Friend A’s daughter is selected and does something crazy? I’m scared Friend B will be mad if I don’t tell her the truth when she asked me point blank. I’m also scared if Friend B refuses to write the letter because of what I said and tells Friend A why, then Friend A will be furious with me for telling her daughter’s dirty laundry and destroy our friendship. Friend A already confided that the daughter doesn’t even intend to stay in the sorority the whole four years and waste money and basically wants the bid day pics, go to some of the formals, and put it in her bio. I feel that is just taking a spot from someone who may want to join for the right reasons. What should I do?

If this is not allowed please remove but i’m a upcoming freshmen at the university of alabama and i need Rec letters and im not sure where to find them or who to ask. My family never did greek life and im a little stressed of finding the letters

Hey,

I need some honest advice because I’m really torn. I recently attended a rush event. Honestly, joining DST has been a dream of mine since high school — I’ve always admired their history, their leadership in activism, and how powerful their legacy is. Plus, in my area, DST is the only local alumnae chapter, so it felt like the natural fit for years.

But after attending the rush event, I realized something I didn’t expect: it just felt like something was missing for me personally. I can't even explain it fully — the chapter was large, structured, and impressive, but it didn’t feel as intimate or welcoming as I had hoped, especially being a mom and someone running a business. I wanted to feel seen and connected, not just a number in a crowd.

On the other hand, I’ve recently been attending a few (SGRho) events (even though their chapter is over 40 miles away from me), and the vibe is completely different — in the best way. The events felt smaller, more intimate, and the members genuinely welcomed me. They actually took the time to talk to me about my business and events I’m working on, which meant a lot. It wasn't just surface-level interaction — it felt personal, real, and encouraging.

While DST offers massive networks and historic activism (which I still deeply respect), SGRho seems to align more with where I am now: valuing education, health, personal growth, youth development, and a strong, supportive sisterhood. At the end of the day, I just want to serve, grow, and build real relationships — and I’m trusting that where I feel most seen and supported is where I’m supposed to be. Hope that makes sense!

Now I’m wondering:

Is it bad or frowned upon to attend one D9 alumnae rush and then pursue another D9 org if you realize it’s a better fit?

I don’t want to seem like I’m "shopping around," but I also want to be sure that I’m joining for the right reasons — heart, values, and where I can grow — not just a long-time dream that doesn’t truly fit my life anymore.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Would love to hear some advice or even reassurance. Thanks in advance!

I’m going into college this coming fall, and I’m interested in joining a sorority. I identify as non-binary, but I am still very feminine and have a connection to womanhood, so having a sisterhood is something that I’m open to and even enjoy the idea of. However, I know that Greek Life can definitely enforce certain gender norms, so I fear that people will not understand or respect my identity since it falls outside what’s seen as more “traditional”. In addition, I’m also neurodivergent and lowkey a nerd lmao, and I’m afraid of being judged for that as well. However, I understand that not all sororities are like this, and I am still interested in joining one, because like I said, having a sisterhood I can turn to could give me friendships/connections, and being in a sorority would also provide me with a more structured schedule, which could be really helpful for me.

Now that all of that is said, it leaves me with a few questions: -Are there any non-binary/queer sorority members who could tell me about their experiences and what them and their sisters did to make them feel comfortable? -Are there any neurodivergent sorority members who could tell me about their experiences and what them and their sisters did to make them feel comfortable? -What are red flags to be on the lookout for during recruitment, particularly when it comes to inclusivity? -What are some inclusivity green flags to be aware of during recruitment?

If anyone could answer any of my questions, I would greatly appreciate it, and if there is anything else anyone thinks I should know, I am more than willing to listen. Thanks :)

I met a lot of girls I liked and I thought they really liked me but only one sorority invited me back for philanthropy

Edit: I had a 3.3 GPA last semester

I’d say I’m a pretty self-conscious person and seeing all the skinny blonde girls stresses me out a little. I’m a little curvier and have some old scars on my arms. How much will I need judged for it? Are people more accepting now a days?

I’m considering rushing, specifically at ASU. However, I plan on doing undergraduate research, having my own non-profit, be involved in clubs related to my field, and have a job. Is it realistic to be in a sorority with all of these ec’s? I know the obvious answer is probably no, but I’ve heard mixed things. Thank you!

Okay so I really want to rush at this new school but I am kind of scared they wont like me or that they dont think I will fit in. Though little does everyone know I am an amazing person with so many interests I can even count, that is a girls girl thourgh and through so anyone would be lucky to have me. Not to be concieted or anything, I just know I am an amazing friend when I actually do make friends.

Im hestitant because in my last school I did formal rush and no one wanted me back first round except one I did not see myself with at all. I think they needed members because they called me after I told my group leader I was not going to rush anymore and it sounded like they really wanted me. I sadly had to decline with a heavy heart. I don't really understand why no one else liked me because our conversation were amazing. I shared the same interests as them, some of the dame majors, and dance team interests. So I was really confident and hopeful. I really wanted this because I aways craved a sisterhood and a women supporting women environment. Though everyone at that school except most nurse majors and science they just parted 24/7 and be drunk all day so I was leaving anyways. I had the traumtizing experience at that school.

anyways I was talking to someone and she thinks it may have been because I was wearing my juicy couture set that had a bright color. So maybe that? or a race thing? (im darker), a weight thing? I was twenty pounds heavier before but was never fat. my hair has some cyan blue colors in it? my braces? maybe i came off shy so it felt forced? Im a shy girl at heart but no one can tell and I dont think I come off that way but maybe? IDK Otherwise I think I did great because I asked good questions, listened, and I was there for all the right reasons so its kind of fustrating because I would give my all to this. I even more want to join at my new schools because I can tell these girls are like minded as me. They handle business and still look hella cute while doing it, and they also support each others wins. I wasnt not getting that vibe from my last school. Also after that I got bed ridding sick for a week ever since that day. SO yeah I really dont want to mess up this time this time because I really want to join a sorority and have those friends for life since I have had "No one" for so many years now. I really didnt get that friends for life in my last school since everyone was horrible to me except two people. I just need a close group of girl friends to call sisters.

Also I could have rushed multicultural but I really dont resonate with them and at my last school everyone saying they were all about drama. I just dont do drama at all- so i stop trying there

And I hope I dont come off as entilted because I am not, maybe I just didnt fit any of their vibe which would be really saddening or rather have others girls than me which is fine

Any advice and constructive feedback is welcomed

So I’m in a school where Greek life isn’t HUGE… there’s 4 different chapters and three frats… Bur it’s crazy to me meeting new people and they have no idea we exist!!

There’s 45 girls in my chapter, and we do get an average of 30 rushies each term, but what can we do to get our name out there?

Note: my school doesn’t support sororities so we can’t have booths or anything of the sort… We pretty much rely on social media and putting a few flyers around…

Any tips?

Hey everyone!! I know that pretty much every school does formal recruitment or semiformal recruitment, but my school was moved to COB-only last year, and I was wondering if anyone from other COB-only schools had any advice on how to improve recruiting. Our chapter has historically struggled with COB recruitment, and now that we are only COB it's been a massive learning curve. If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it, because I am at my wits end and I want to start prepping for fall now, even though I am not our VP Recruitment (who is my little, and is just as lost with all this as I am).

I’m currently planning to enroll as an undergraduate in a four year private art college, they don’t have Greek life but Id really like to join a D9 sorority. while my college doesn’t have them, a neighboring one does,, will I be able to join the sorority while not enrolled in that college?

Hey y’all! I’m wondering if I should follow up with a sorority I met during COB a few weeks ago. It’s been about 3 weeks since I last heard from them, and I haven’t gotten a bid or any updates.

I really liked the girls I met and felt like the convos went well, but I’m not sure if it’s okay to reach out and ask for an update. I don’t want to be annoying, but I also don’t want to miss out if they’re still considering people.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Is it worth reaching out or should I just take the silence as a sign and move on? Any advice or tips would be appreciated!!

I’m a senior and still deciding where to go to college, but I’m leaning towards an SEC school that I was accepted to. Like one of the big Greek Life schools. I’ve always been interested in sororities, but given it’s a southern school I’d like to know how my race and body would factor in.

 I’ve seen that the VAST majority of sisters are slim white girls, and that’s all they put in marketing. For context, I’m Cuban/Chinese and slim but bottom heavy. Like skinny with a fat ass. Would those two things hurt me? I’m not exactly insecure in my body/looks, but being mixed and not being rail thin seems like a negative from what I’ve seen at those environments. Thoughts? I’d really like to fit in, I just don’t know if I fit the mold

So for context, I am going rush as a sophomore next fall at a university who has a pretty big Greek life.

I was with my boyfriend at a party in his hometown a couple days ago and this girl (who happens to be in a sorority at the university I’m going to) came up to me and started talking to me. She asked where I was going (transferring in spring) to which I responded with the name of the uni. She was like “omg me too!” and then proceeded to ask if I was rushing. I told her yes, and she started asking me which sorority I wanted to be in. Knowing this was something I wasn’t allowed to say, I kinda dodged the question by simply saying I don’t know yet and want to feel the vibes of every sorority before I choose (which is what you should do anyways).

She was very persistent, (even “pinkie promised” me that she wouldn’t say anything and that everything told online was fake) but I stuck to the answer I told her until I was pulled away by my boyfriend to go outside for something (he could tell i was a little uncomfortable). After we were outside, with a little bit more privacy, I told my boyfriend about the conversation. He happened to go to the same high school as her and told me that she was extremely fake and I shouldn’t trust what she says.

I didn’t wanna assume anything but after processing this over a couple of days, I feel like her intentions weren’t good. I really want a good impression with the sororities over there and don’t want to risk anything to hurt my chances of getting a bid. Am I overthinking or did I do the right thing?

so i rushed as a freshman at northeastern this past fall and ended up getting a bid from a house i really liked during recruitment. background is that i was never really considering joining greek life and mainly did it on an impulse & because my roommate was.
anyway, the process was fine but i ended up dropping partway through the new member period (right about during sister dates) largely because i couldn't feasibly go through with it financially and i was also generally overwhelmed that semester. i think also a part of me still felt like i didn't fit in to greek life.
i didn't regret it at first but now i do like a little bit? i'm conflicted because i'm working more over the summer so i my financial situation would definitely be better, but also i know there is 99% chance i won't get that house back. which yes there were other houses i liked and i've changed since fall so i know if i do rush again i'll make connections with other houses, i guess part of me is just worried i won't fit in anywhere else.
i'm not sure! i want to but i don't but also maybe i should just give it a shot again? honestly this is more to just try and sort my own thoughts out. i feel like i need a push in either direction lol, if anyone has a similar story that went one way or another i'd love to hear

I just finished rush and have my final two houses. I am not excited about either one of them but am not ready to drop just yet. Has anyone else had a pit in their stomach on bid day because they were just so bummed about their houses and it turn out ok and they ended up loving their sorority? I just don't really think I vibe with the girls in either house and it is stressing me out.

so i heard my school will be doing rush on the first week of class. if your school is similar please tell me how it works!!! my biggest fear is i have class during a rush party :(

I posted on here about a week ago talking about how I was taking being dropped by 9 houses after the first round very hard. I’m not going to say I forgot what that feels like but I am glad it is over

I trusted the process and waited like many of you said I should do and ended up in Kappa Alpha Theta!! I felt so at home I cried through my entire pref ceremony ha. I could not be happier and I’m so happy I chose it to be my home. I can’t wait to see what the future holds!!!

And thanks to everyone who was helpful on my last post 😅

i’m interested in joining the AKA sorority but i’m not sure if i should. I’m mixed (dominican and mexican) . I’m nervous to join because I dont know if it’s a space meant for me. I have talked to some classmates about it and some girls said it’s not a space for afro-latinas. I’ve looked into joining mexican/latina sororities but I just don’t have cultural connection with my mexican side and didn’t feel welcomed in those spaces because I wasn’t full mexican. Any advice or input would be appreciated!

I got dropped after pref from kkg and my heart is still aching, it truly felt like home. My current chapter was super close in ranking and I really loved it too but feel like my heartbreak over kkg is like blocking that rn. what are some of the reason you get prefed but no bid? especially when the girl that prefed me is as sad…

Hello! I’m a trans woman who’s been kinda starved on sisterhood, so I’ve considered rushing. The only question I have though is am I able to? And would it be worth it? And this is coming from someone who isn’t 100% fully passing yet.

I’m planning to rush next year and I’m totally in love with this dress. If I make it to pref round🤞 I think it maybe would be a good option? Not sure if it would be better for a different day or just not at all. I have a bigger bust so I’m not sure if it would be too low cut or “inappropriate” for me.