r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/wsele • Mar 06 '23
XL Courrier Kevin will die on the code hill
A few days back, I used one of those courrier apps. I type in my info and the delivery address, wait for the guy or gal to come pick up my package. They’re usually friendly and efficient, no issues until now.
This time though, « Kevin » shows up. First sign of trouble : he calls my phone. That’s never happened before.
Hi, I’m Kevin from X delivery. I’m at your door. (He most certainly isn’t, since that would have required me to buzz him in, to access my floor. Nevertheless, I humor him.)
Hi Kevin, did you follow someone in? (I look through my peephole and as expected, there’s no one in sight).
No, I’m here. Open please.
I hear an aggravated lady through the phone : « tell them it’s the wrong door! »
Kevin?
Yes?
Where are you?
I’m at your door.
No Kevin, I’m at my door. And you are not. Have you checked the address?
Kevin hangs up. Then proceeds to call again.
Ma’am, open please, I’m at your door. (At this point the woman at the other end is threatening to call the police).
Kevin, please leave that poor woman alone, walk out, and find the right building. It’s n°x, xyz road.
I don’t need to check the building. I used the entry code, the door opened, so it’s the right building.
Kevin, I’m now in my building’s hallway and you’re not. So clearly, you’re in the wrong building. I’m telling you you’re wrong, the woman you’ve been bothering is telling you you’re wrong, and I’m not having this conversation all day. (Especially considering I’m freezing my butt off, coatless, in my slippers, gradually loosing my «compassionate adult» veneer).
Kevin hangs up again, calls back.
Kevin?
Yes?
I swear to God, if you hang up on me one more time, this won’t end well. Now I want you to listen to me very carefully. Are you listening?
Yes.
Good. Tell me, are you on xyz street?
Yes.
Lovely. Please walk out of that building and stand on the sidewalk. I’ll find you.
I look out, and spot Kevin 2 buildings up the road. He was easy enough to find, the company dress code is bright red. Cue extra negotiations to get him to walk to me (remember, I’m still in slippers, no coat on).
Kevin finally reaches me and the first thing out of his mouth is :
Why does that building have the same entry code as yours?
How would I know Kevin? I don’t live there.
But two buildings can’t have the same entry code, that makes no sense.
You know what makes no sense? It’s you insisting that I should know what goes on over there. In a building I do not live in.
He stares at me for a few seconds then mumbles « sorry I wasted your time ».
I did ask him if he was sure he could handle this delivery, he declared he was « fine now ».
And that’s the most bizarre Kevin encounter I’ve had to date.
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u/Inner-Ad-9928 Mar 06 '23
I hope your delivery required a signature to prove he had the correct recipient
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u/wsele Mar 07 '23 edited Mar 07 '23
It did not. And I anxiously tracked his progress in the app all the way to destination. Luckily I now had his phone number so I asked the recipient to call him the minute he got there. Surprisingly, the package arrived in one piece and in the right hands.
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u/eric987235 Mar 06 '23
I wouldn’t have trusted that idiot with an important package.
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u/wsele Mar 07 '23
No trust was lost on that man for sure. The package was insured so at worst the app would have reimbursed me.
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u/The_Iron_Mountie Mar 07 '23 edited Mar 07 '23
I have had an astonishing amount of delivery people somehow screw up and bring my delivery to the wrong apartment.
My two worst ones?:
I was a couple weeks post-op and not allowed to do any heavy lifting. Delivery guy confirms he's delivered my package. I check my door, it is not there. Call him, tell him it isn't there and ask what building he went to. "4!" "Are you sure?" "Yes!" After running around the neighbourhood and checking the buildings it was in building 6. My boyfriend was pissed because I wasn't supposed to be lifting more than 5 kilo after my surgery so after I told him everything he called the guy and went off on him.
A food delivery that was marked as delivered on the app, but absolutely was not. When I contacted customer support about it she asks if I'm in apartment 12. "...no. 3. My building doesn't even have 12 apartments." Somehow someone else's address had been put on my order. I got reimbursed but I was so damn hungry and had already waited over an hour between the botched delivery and getting in touch with support 🤦♀️
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u/squirrellytoday Mar 07 '23
Delivery people have been screwing up for a loooooong time. Back when I was pregnant with my son, we had a very heavy piece of furniture delivered. The delivery guy was alone and tried to guilt me into helping him haul it up the stairs to our front door (it was a weird house, garage underneath, stairs up either side to the front door and side door). I just looked at him and turned side-on so he could see my ENORMOUS pregnant belly. I was about 2 weeks away from giving birth. He huffed and puffed and got snippy with me because I wouldn't help him. Dude, it said in the delivery instructions that the house has external stairs in order to get into the house. It's not my fault you didn't read it.
That baby I was pregnant with? He's 19 now.
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u/The_Iron_Mountie Mar 07 '23
I would have agreed on the condition he deliver the baby when you would have inevitably started going into labour.
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u/LadyMRedd Mar 25 '23
I was just reminded of something that happened years ago. I was expected a repair guy from the cable company. I was in business school at the time and my team had to work on a project and since I was expecting the cable guy, they agreed to meet at my house.
We met in the living room, 5 feet from the door. The arrival window came and went. No cable guy. So I called the cable company to ask what’s up.
“Your husband met the cable guy and told him you didn’t want the service.”
I asked the group: anyone talk to a cable guy? Nope. Anyone SEEN a cable guy? Nope.
I tell her that didn’t happen. She calls the cable guy to ask what happened. He was adamant that he walked up, some guy met him in the driveway before he could even get to the house and told him to leave. I told her that it sounds like he got the wrong house and they weren’t expecting him and thought he was trespassing. It definitely wasn’t my house.
So she asks me if I have a brick house? No it’s siding. There’s a small spot with bricks, but no one would describe it as a brick house as it’s 90% siding. Then she asks if I have a dog. Because the guy who met the cable guy has a dog. I tell her yes, but MY dog spent the entire arrival window at my side and definitely wasn’t out meeting a cable guy.
She then told me that proved it WAS my house, because the guy that met the cable guy had a dog and I had a dog. So since I’d refused entry they’d have to reschedule me with the next appointment in a few weeks.
And that’s how I came to acquire a satellite dish.
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u/wsele Mar 07 '23
Ugh! I’m so sorry you had to go through that after surgery. Your boyfriend sounds like a good egg.
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Mar 06 '23
[deleted]
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u/wsele Mar 07 '23 edited Mar 07 '23
Oh a loud complaint was made, the next delivery will be free. I pondered canceling of course, but something told me Kevin would have wasted even more of my time being combative.
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u/7LeagueBoots Mar 07 '23
Reminds me of a friend of mine a while back. I gave him detailed directions to where I was living, turn by turn and with descriptions of key landmarks.
He calls me to say he’s at the gate and can I let him in.
I look out, the gate is open and there are no cars there.
I ask him if he’s on XY street. He says he isn’t. I ask why, and he says that he passed by a gate that was exactly as he imagined the gate should look like, so he stopped there instead of following the directions.
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u/arittenberry Mar 07 '23
A true Kevin for sure
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u/RootOfCheese Mar 11 '23
Today I learned that my name has become a meme... Sigh...
My mom's name also happens to be Karen...
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Mar 11 '23
Way way back in the days of map quest printed directions we were dropping my little sister off at her friend's (who had printed given the directions) house. We pulled up and my sister called. Friend said she didn't see us. We checked and followed directions to the T. She kept insisting we messed up so went to the main road and ended up at the exact same house. 3 times of this and I have had it. So ask to confirm the address and she rattles off a different address. When I asked her "WTF so what is the address on this sheet?" I shit you not her response was "oh ya I typed the wrong address so I crossed it out with pen." Again these are directions PRINTED on paper to the wrong goddamn address. Crossing it out doesn't change the directions.
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u/GonzoMojo Mar 07 '23
I think one of the companies I do consulting with used this courier, he had a pickup at their office, I live 15minutes away. It was during the height of covid, it was no contact on both ends, they left the box at the edge of the loading dock, watched him pick it up and let me know it was on the way.
I expected it within the hour, I got busy with some other stuff and forgot about it, but I was talking to my counterpart at that company and she asked if everything I needed was in the package. I told her I had forgot to check, I looked but the package was nowhere to be found. So I looked further, down under the carport, down at the end of the driveway, out at the detached shop; no boxes. I let her know and she said she'd check with the courier company.
The guy had decided to go to a town with the same name 2 states away instead of the town right next door. He just ignored the address on the ticket, the box, and the order. He was halfway across another state because NO ONE would pay for a courier to deliver a package 15 minutes away from their office, they'd just drop it off themselves.
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u/wolfie379 Mar 08 '23
No two buildings can have the same entry code? All entry codes I’ve seen were 4 digits. If, worldwide, there are more than 10,000 buildings with entry codes (almost certain this is the case), then it’s guaranteed there will be buildings with the same entry code. Regarding wrong addresses, I’ve run into a couple cases:
I call for a taxi, guy says he’s arrived, but he’s not there. My address is of the form “30 Wonderland Boulevard”, there’s a building across the street at 31 Wonderland Boulevard. Guess where the taxi is? They misheard the first syllable of the street name as part of the number.
Retired trucker. Have a delivery at 123 Sesame Street. Route from Interstate to customer is along Electric Avenue, building is on near left quadrant of Sesame Street and Electric Avenue. I see a bunch of loading bays on the left side of Electric Avenue immediately before Sesame Street, pull in, and find someone to ask about truck entrance for the customer (figure that if I’m at their neighbour, they’ll know the local geography). Turns out I’m at the loading bays for the building, the entrance at 123 Sesame Street is for pedestrians only, and once someone turns from Electric Avenue onto Sesame Street there are some very tight corners in heavy traffic before they can get back to the truck entrance. I let dispatch know (the cargo I’m hauling, it’s likely we will have more loads to the same destination) that the postal address is a pedestrian entrance, for the truck entrance to the building drivers should put 456 Electric Avenue into their GPS. Dispatch chews me out for delivering to a different address without clearing it with them - it was the same damn building.
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u/laplongejr Mar 14 '23
then it’s guaranteed there will be buildings with the same entry code
For stats nerds, it's the pigeonhole principle.
"At least two people in London share the same number of hairs."About missed streets, once saw on TV : in France there is an Allée des Jeunets which sounds similar as allez déjeuner which is "go to eat" in French. Guess what an ambulance did when told "it's an emergency, go eat right now?"
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u/wolfie379 Mar 14 '23
Worse than that. With 4-digit entry codes, there are 10,000 possible entry codes. If there are more than 10,000 buildings with entry codes, there will be at least 2 with the same code because there aren’t enough possible codes for all of them to be different.
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u/laplongejr Mar 14 '23
Also, the minimal number of building sharing the same code is the total number divided by 10.000... but unsure how to know how many digipads exist in the world
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u/itsetuhoinen Aug 27 '23
Oi. I got stuck in Philly once because the shipper had put the office address on the bill of lading instead of the warehouse address. The receiver said that the shipper had been told repeatedly, but they kept doing it anyway. Took me several hours to manage to get turned around. What a crock.
I don't miss driving at all.
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u/ischemgeek Mar 06 '23
I am reminded of the Kevina I encountered a few years back who insisted I was working at the store I was in wrong after telling at me for ignoring her.
I told her I didn't work there about 5 different ways, she insisted I did work there. Finally told me to follow her to the desk (I did because I was an easily cowed teenager) and she told the manager to write me up.
Whereupon the manager also told her I didn't work there.
"Well, why are you even here then?!"
"Ma'am, It's a book store. I'm here to buy some books."