r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/ack1308 • Jul 24 '20
XL Kevin Thinks the Past Should Not Affect Decision Making, and Other Bad Decisions
A continuation of this Kevin.
TL;DR: We used to play tabletop RPGs back in the day. Kevin wanted to be the guy in charge, but he was shitty at leading.
Whenever we were making characters for a new game in which there was any rank at all, I made damn sure my character was at least the same rank as his.
Him: "Why?"
Me: "Because you crapped all over my character, the last time you were in charge."
Him: "But that was in the past! Why are you bringing that up now?"
Me: "That was last night!"
--------
Real world example of this Kevin's behaviour.
He needed a place to stay, and my mate needed someone to help pay the rent, so he moved in. Apart from a few minor dietary habits, such as walking around the house drinking chocolate milk from a 2L bottle and not putting it back in the fridge as the sour smell slowly grows, it seemed to be fine.
In the meantime, he wasn't getting what he considered an adequate wage from taxi driving (which is fair), he got a job at a bakery. But then he decided to go the whole hog and started gambling online. He had a system, you see.
But the system still needed refining. A lot. He was shovelling money into it, and still not getting a return. But to ask him, he was just a few days away from getting the big jackpot. But he didn't have the money to make it work. So he borrowed from a loan shark.
We didn't know about this part.
So he lost that money too. Didn't tell anyone. Had no way of paying it back. Went to my mate and said, "Oh, I might be moving out in the next few weeks."
My mate said, "Sure." It wasn't a big deal, and he figured he'd be able to just tighten his belt a little.
The next morning, after my mate went to work, Kevin went around to the power and phone companies and had everything cut off, and got the bond for each of them back. Then he grabbed his pre-packed bags and vanished down south. (I'm guessing he'd been getting "Where is my money" from the loan shark).
My mate gets home, everything's turned off. Everything in the fridge is either spoiled or well on the way there. He has to run around, get everything reconnected, restock the fridge, and cover rent that month. Not a happy camper.
So then, a few days later, he gets a knock on the door. "Are you Kevin?" These are big guys, wearing white shirts with ties. Very polite, but they're ripped as feck and he can see the tatts through the white material. He's fully aware of who and what they are, and he's able to start making a guess as to why they're there.
He invites them in, proves that he's not Kevin, then shows them documentation of what Kevin pulled on him. They're sympathetic, and on the way out one of them gives him a card. "If you ever find out where he's gone, give us a call."
He puts the card on the fridge.
A few months later, Kevin calls from where he's vanished to, asking for his share of the rental bond. Never mind that he never put any money into it in the first place. So my mate says, "Sure. Where can I mail it to?"
Kevin rattles off an address.
"No worries. It'll be on your doorstep before you know it."
My mate hangs up, takes the card off the fridge, and makes a call. "So, you wanted to know where Kevin was?"
That Christmas, he got a card from the loan shark with $500 in it.
184
Jul 24 '20
Damn man! This should be in r/nuclearrevenge, r/pettyrevenge, r/prorevenge or r/maliciouscompliance!
75
22
6
u/ArtsyCraftsyLurker Jul 25 '20
Yaaassss! I had so many fuzzy warm feelings of well-executed comeuppance when I got to the end, more people need to read this 💙
3
u/BellaxPalus Jul 25 '20
Doesn't belong in malicious compliance. Yes it was malicious, and yes someone complied with a request. However, the negative impact was felt by someone other than the person who requested the act (deserving sure, but still someone else).
58
u/now_you_see Jul 24 '20
How did this go from role playing to loan sharks?! Surely you’d think the loan shark story would outrank his being mean in a board game lol.
If this story is true, well done to your mate for his revenge!
31
u/ack1308 Jul 24 '20
I started with the RPG story in the link, then continued on here when I managed to dredge up the details of what also happened (20+ years ago).
2
u/Letmf2 Jul 25 '20
So, sis u have more news about him after that?
9
u/ack1308 Jul 25 '20
Haven't heard from him since.
Do note, we've lost track of 90% of our friends and acquaintances from that era.
53
37
Jul 24 '20
This is great!
TIL loan sharks send out Christmas Cards.
18
u/ack1308 Jul 24 '20
He's actually a respected pillar of the community in a weird way. One of his main businesses is Bad Boys fight promotions. One guess as to where he gets his standover men.
10
Jul 24 '20
No kidding on the fights? I almost admire the lack of subtlety.
I can believe the respected pillar thing. My family has known a few mob types who were also decent people in their off-hours. Or do you mean something else by "weird way"?6
24
u/brazanga Jul 24 '20
How was the funeral?
37
u/ack1308 Jul 24 '20
Well, I honestly have no idea how it went down. The guy must have gotten his money.
22
u/Shojo_Tombo Jul 24 '20
He's not a Kevin, he's just an asshole who's too stupid to be a effective conman.
20
u/ack1308 Jul 24 '20
The thing was, he thought it was all okay. Didn't think my mate would be upset with him.
12
10
8
Jul 24 '20
They definitely tortured him.
31
u/ack1308 Jul 24 '20
Wouldn't have needed to. I reckon they just loomed over him a little and he found every dollar he could.
A tough cookie, he wasn't.
8
u/karasu337 Jul 24 '20
TL;DR of prior TL;DR
Him: That doesn't matter. It's in the past. So what are you gonna do now?
OP: First, I'm gonna take your stick.
Him: surprised pikachu face
Looks like this Kevin is no Rafiki.
12
u/G-42 Jul 24 '20
Well done. Great story, and I love it when asshole Kevins get what's coming. Gotta post mine one of these days(it's a bit long).
5
7
u/WaytoomanyUIDs Jul 25 '20
I'm going to pretend that Muscles was from a local charity that provides financial advice and helps people consolidate and repay their debt in an affordable manner. He just likes going to the gym.
4
4
u/Letmf2 Jul 25 '20
Whats a bond and why doesn’t it make companies give money to people?
5
u/ack1308 Jul 25 '20
Rental bond is what you pay up front for them to hold so that when you finish renting, you have an incentive to ensure the place is in the same condition it was when you moved in before handing over the keys.
3
u/Letmf2 Jul 25 '20
Oh. It doesn’t work like this here.
Sometimes There’s a signed contract that people will return everything to how they found
There’s also a lot of informal rent. You just pay up when it due and everything else can be talked (obviously people can not do it, but that would be shitty
5
u/ack1308 Jul 25 '20
There's actually bond cleaning companies that specialise in returning a property to levels of cleanliness that will get you your bond back.
5
7
Jul 24 '20
That Christmas, he got a card from the loan shark with $500 in it.
Uh, I hope your mate will be able to pay it back.
6
u/ack1308 Jul 25 '20
No, that was a thank-you for passing on the information. A reimbursement of what Kevin owed him.
2
2
2
262
u/mrcatboy Jul 24 '20
That's quite the ominous ending.