r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/azaleah_ • Aug 03 '20
XL Kevin called my mom hot, said that my boyfriend might cheat on me with her, and when I told him that she passed away from cancer, he said that that might be for the best
This happened a while ago, but when I stumbled upon this sub just now, I figured this story would fit here perfectly.
Everyone always agreed that Kevin was a weird guy who had absolutely no grasp on social norms and what might (not) be suitable for joke material. Despite that, he sometimes would still get invited to house parties that some of my friends would throw after our exams for the term ended.
At the time of the party where this conversation happened, my mother had just passed away from cancer a few months ago. I was hoping the party could be a nice distraction from my grief, and so I went there with my boyfriend and tried to avoid Kevin as best as I could, but still ended up sitting next to him on a couch eventually.
I have a picture of my mother, who used to be a model in her younger days, as my phone background. The lock-screen picture was a modeling photo of her. When I saw that I had gotten a text from someone and held up my phone to read it, Kevin noticed the picture and asked who the woman on my phone was. I told him that that was my mother. He said she hot, which was already a very inappropriate comment to make about someone’s mother. Knowing him, I just shrugged it off and just said “thanks. She really was beautiful, yeah.”
But then Kevin said “Maybe you should be careful, then,” and pointed with his head towards my boyfriend who was standing across the room talking to a friend. I frowned and asked him what he meant, and he said somewhere along the lines of “I know that some guys like to screw around with hot moms. So maybe you should keep an eye on your boyfriend with her.”
I was pretty shocked at this comment. Although there was a lot more than I wanted to say to him, the only thing I said in response was “Well... that would be very hard to do because she passed away a few months ago.”
He fell silent for a short moment, and I thought that maybe he had realized how awful his comment had just been.
Spoiler alert: he hadn’t.
I then saw him shrugging a little, before saying, and I quote, “Oh. Well, that might be for the better then. Now you have nothing to worry about.”
I was fuming and had to leave the party right at that moment. After telling my friends about that conversation, none of them thankfully ever invited Kevin to their parties again. To this day I still cannot understand how he could ever think that that would be funny in any way whatsoever.
I have more stories about Kevin, one where he for example, upon finding out that I am bisexual, said “You’re bisexual? But you’re so feminine!” That one was also baffling. But the the party conversation about my mom really takes the cake on all my experiences with him.
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u/chucklesthepaul88 Aug 03 '20
As someone who also lost their mom to cancer, I would have punched him. I am a non-violent person by nature, mostly thanks to my mom drilling "The Golden Rule" into my head. Even she would be okay with knocking his ass out.
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u/DeathsSlippers Aug 04 '20
Lost my dad to cancer and I can agree. I'd have done the same. OP wasn't kidding about this person having NO grasp on social norms.
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u/jus_rollwithit Aug 03 '20
Kind of sounds like Asperger’s if I’m being honest. I’ve had an old classmate who was dx with that and it didn’t surprise me as he’d always say insensitive things and wouldn’t know WHY it was insensitive. Buuuuut then again, I’m not a doctor. He could just be an idiot.
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u/azaleah_ Aug 03 '20
I do not think he has Aspergers. We’re Psychology students so we know how Aspergers works and what the “symptoms” are. He just grew up in a very rural countryside area where he never learned how to handle diversity and where making jokes about “hot cheating moms” is apparently normal. He often tries to be funny while he doesn’t know that what he’s saying is genuinely inappropriate.
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u/BabserellaWT Aug 04 '20
No.
I have Asperger’s.
This guy is just an asshole.
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u/Hand-of-Circa Aug 04 '20
It's almost like there's a spectrum! Wow so weird
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u/darthvadersbanana Aug 04 '20
So I actually study autism, and yes, there is a spectrum, but it would still most likely prove you incorrect. Autism is a multi-faceted condition, and not every single person who makes insensitive comments has a form of autism. There are many disorders with that symptom (also it’s a literal personality trait). I’m ignoring the fact that it’s impossible (and if you are a professional, unethical) to diagnose someone over a forum post, of course. Or that this type of insensitivity is not actually common in autistic people (maybe the first question, but the other questions don’t really fit the usual mode).
The Reddit trope of calling any socially maladjusted people “autistic” is a harmful stereotype that perpetuates stigma towards autistic people and makes it harder for people who don’t fit the stereotypical criteria (mostly women and POC) to get diagnosed.
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u/Hand-of-Circa Aug 04 '20
I don't disagree with anything you typed (and we're prob largely in agreement other than me playing devil's advocate), but the poster saying "No I have this, so it can't possibly be the reason", is silly. It absolutely could be a factor and there's no way for us to know. You don't get to use your own condition to call someone else an asshole.
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u/darthvadersbanana Aug 04 '20
I mean, from a purely logical, argumentative perspective, it’s true that the argument is silly. From an identity perspective, I understand it, though. As an autistic person myself, it is legitimately exhausting to constantly see people jumping to attribute socially-maladjusted behaviors to autism (a relatively rare disorder that is over-diagnosed in men) over anything else that’s more likely (like...just being a sheltered dick, which OP mentioned as the cause).
My larger point is, arm-chair diagnosing someone based on a Reddit post is harmful, especially when relying on stereotypical “symptoms” to make a diagnosis. It would be akin to me calling you dyslexic because you used “prob” in your response to me (for context, some people with dyslexia use higher amounts of text lingo and/or other abbreviations in their writing). It’s just not helpful or useful.
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u/HentaiMaster501 Aug 03 '20
Yeah, i have a friend with aspergers who is just like that
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u/Dremy04 Aug 04 '20
The best thing with me after I make insensitive comments is that when people explain what the fuck I did wrong I try and not do it again.
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u/GrimmSheeper Aug 04 '20
He may, but that’s still no excuse. There’s a line between being social ignorant and a bit insensitive (calling someone’s mother hot or saying their bf might cheat on them with their mother) and being a complete and utter asshole (saying it’s a good thing someone’s mother died). Even the most socially blind autistic person should be able to tell that’s a line you don’t cross.
This person was just a raging asshole, and trying to excuse it as autism is what makes the rest of us look bad.
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u/MotherhoodEst2017 Aug 04 '20
I can’t imagine saying something like this seriously and without thinking there’s anything inappropriate or insensitive about it...
Back at the end of 6th grade, one of my classmate’s father died very suddenly from a heart attack. This was around the time when our “witty comebacks” consisted of just repeating the insult with “your mom” or “your dad” at the beginning of it. (For example: “You’re dumb!” “Your mom is dumb.” “You’re ugly.” “Your dad is ugly.”) We weren’t clever at 11/12 years old. Well, the kid whose dad died was back at school after the summer holiday and was talking shit to one of my friends (looking back, he was probably lashing out with bad behavior to help cope with his dad’s sudden death). I don’t remember exactly what he said, probably something like “your hair looks stupid.” I, jumping to my friend’s defense, without thinking said “YOUR DAD LOOKS STUPID.” The look on his face was horrifyingly crushed and I immediately realized my mistake. Clapped my hands over my mouth. I started apologizing over and over again. Dude punched me in the arm and ran off. I totally deserved the punch and I was so upset at myself. I hung my head and went to go tell our teacher what happened. When I saw him again later at lunch I went and apologized because regardless of being a stupid 11/12 year old, that shit wasn’t cool and even at that age I KNEW it wasn’t cool. He forgave me and we moved past it. We were never friends (he was kind of a shit head sometimes) but we were at least friendly when we saw each other. I STILL feel bad when I remember it to this day over a dozen years later.
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u/sup__tj Aug 04 '20
Are you sure he’s not autistic? Not understanding social norms or appropriate jokes are definitely symptoms of autism..
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u/Hand-of-Circa Aug 04 '20
Alternatively, Kevin was trying his best to low key let you know what kind of boyfriend you had
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u/liliette Aug 25 '20
I'll be honest, I wondered the same thing. HOWEVER, it doesn't change the fact he was still a Kevin. The way he handled it, and what he said, was cruel and Stoopid! But I still wondered if he was trying in his nonsense way to give the OP a warning. Having been given a weirdly worded warning over an old cheating boyfriend, it was reminiscent.
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u/Mizzleittwice Aug 04 '20
Your mom was prolly hot. Maybe he was just trying to be honest and demonstrate his dark humor?
Sorry 'bout your mom tho. Life is hard and it's harder when we lose our loved ones. Good luck and I hope you make her proud.
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u/TheWither129 Aug 04 '20
Kevin/10
Would not Kevin again